Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today

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$LAYYYTER
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@shonisaurus
Please enjoy this snail measuring tape i got at a garadge sale today

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?
i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users
would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.
that’s not the whole flag, now is it
hey staff what the fuck
hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose
HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE
so this knight came to my wizard's tower one day and asked me to cast a spell that would allow him to take his beloved princess' hand in marriage. pretty typical this kind of wish, and i had just the spell. a combo of "turn person into a royal" and "transform appearance to match romantic ideal", easy. he paid handsomely for it too, so how can i says no?
turns out his princess is a lesbian and nobody knew, so when i cast the spell it made him into a beautiful princess. she asked for a refund right away and begged me (cryin', held me at swordpoint) to turn her back, but i says to her, i says, "The die has already been cast, and your fate is now sealed!" which is my way of sayin' "no refunds".
turns out, bein' a princess weren't so bad for her and she was able to take her sweet and beloved princess' hand in marriage. seems like everything worked out.
but then, surprise of my life, they both show up to my tower and my spell was undone. some dark sorcerer shithead (some kinda sketchy royal adviser who wanted to usurp the throne, a million like 'im) had removed my enchantments and turned our princess back into a knight. but she didn't want to be a man no more and asked me to redo the spell. gladly i changed her back in exchange for fuckin' up this sorcerer shmuck, (could be a threat to my business, you see) gave 'er an enchanted sword an everything. to my shock, the other princess takes the sword and vows to get this guy for me.
now i got all this guy's magic shit and good graces for life with the queens of the land, plus the best advertisement money can't buy. "yes, i am in fact That wizard from the story of the princess knight!" classic.
anyway, all that to say, no i ain't changin' yous back. you'll be mommy's pretty little maid and you'll like it.
It slaps though

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Women being described as handsome >>>>>>>>>>>>
TARGET AUDIENCE REACHED
i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,
sorry i had a vision and i just had to draw it
Dinosaur!! :D
it's the coolest gif I got, boss
✨⚾️ BASEBALL YURI ⚾️✨
For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."
Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.
Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.
Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.
The best part is the local city council's reaction.
And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
baseball interviewers will ask "how do you throw the ball so good" and Mariners players will casually drop that they have a headmate who plays the game for them
all my alters become walters when i pitch the baseball of success
@plural_jon_bois watching baseball (he would absolutely chart how well they both play)
Hot butch summer but there’s no actual rules I just see more hot butches in the wild
So I had a funny dream the other night.
It involved a very gay witch.
the other night I dreamt that ao3 got a new number go up button titled "jorked it"

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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petting her while we watch videos on my laptop🥺
bestie are you good? you just reblogged "petting her while we watch videos on my laptop" again
can't get Too comfortable i guess