This is just my personal diary now I guess

Also the anniversary of the last of Ducktales.

imagine being friends with someone. and then slowly realising you think you like them as more than a friend. and it just grows and grows until you’re actually daydreaming about them in your spare time and wishing you could hold hands with them and every time you talk to them you’re filled with this little bubble of joy and everything is just so HAPPY for you, you’ve never felt this way before and it makes you feel so happy to just be ALIVE, y’know? so you think hey, maybe I have a chance with them romantically?? so you decide you’re gonna ask them out. and you’re so nervous because you really want them to say yes and then you ask them and they say yes and then suddenly it’s not just daydreams anymore, it’s REAL, and now that it’s real everything is suddenly too much to handle, and instead of the satisfaction you thought you’d get, you just feel panicked and disgusted, and you don’t even want to be in the same room with them anymore because you’re so disturbed, and you’re so confused because mere seconds ago you loved them so much and now your feelings for them are just gone

in a few days you’ll get over it and your feelings of disgust will fade and you’ll think “well I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. I guess I didn’t like them as much as I thought I did.” but then the feelings come creeping back and suddenly you’re in love all over again but you’ve learned your lesson and don’t say anything this time because as soon as you tell them, everything just goes away, so what’s the point

This is the best explanation of being lith/akoiromantic I've ever seen, at least the way I experience it.

You spend your whole life listening to ppl talk up alcohol as if it's this really cool fun thing that everybody has to try, & that even if you don't like it at first you'll eventually get used to it. You fantasize about your 1st time trying it, the kind(s) you'd prefer. You're super excited as you take that 1st sip. & it's gross. It's both nothing & exactly like what you were told to expect. You take another sip, thinking you just need to try again & find something in it to enjoy. Still gross.

& now you feel guilty for not getting it, for being the stick in the mud. But you WANT to like it, sitting there in the glass it still LOOKS appealing. Maybe even that 1st sip was good when it hit your tongue, but the aftertaste you just can't stand. Maybe you didn't hate it, it was just ok, average, no different from juice or coffee. You think maybe you're just too immature to appreciate it, or afraid. At least, that's what people keep telling you.

So you keep trying, you find something else that seems right. It's got all your favorite ingredients, it looks so appealing, you're excited to try. But that aftertaste gets you again, or it's still just ok. & now you're 20, 30, 40 years old & everyone around you is still happily drinking & wondering why you aren't. So when ppl ask, you just say you don't drink, it's just not for you.