so i didn't sleep last night and i am having the symptoms of way too much caffeine so no more for mouse. anyway.
i had a bit of an existential crisis, and i was like sobbing in the car next to my dad, and i just... i don't know. like, obviously i'm fine i'm just being stupid, but it's interesting.
my point is, the road to our village thing is being worked on, so it's al dirt road at the moment, and i didn't notice at first. and i looked out the window and felt like i was in a completely different place. everything around me was the same - it was just that the ground we drove on was dust instead of bitumen. i feel like there's a pretentious metaphor there.
maybe just a little caffeine. as a treat. if you want. cat will smuggle
you're not being stupid. it is something that affects and matters to you and the fact that it isn't as obvious to someone else (although it should) isn't your fault. you have nothing to be sorry about, mousey. i hope you're doing okayer now.
i think it's a little like you wanting home to remain the same. like that's what anchors are for. you hold onto them because they keep you grounded. if nothing else, you'll have that. but what people usually tend to forget is that every chain is only as strong as its weakest link. that it's the pebbles that cause the avalanche. it's one little thing. and it should be okay but it isn't because it isn't what used to be yours anymore.
it's a little like that fleetwood mac song, i think.
well, i've been afraid of changing
cause i've built my life around you
but time makes you bolder
and i'm getting older too
you'll still remember that place as home, though. no matter what. even if it isn't what it used to be. no love, however brief, is wasted.
