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despazito

the official white house twitter account just posted an ai trump vance parody of the full rick and morty intro

chinesecentury

Is there a gofundme for the iranian ballistic missile programme

ryebreadgf

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

casceth

(murders a guy wearing meta glasses) yo chooms i just klepped a preem braindance from some gonk i just zeroed

#wakethefuckupsamurai

"The Jetski Accident"

a cocktail recipe

(In the style of a Long Island Ice Tea)

.5 oz simple

.5 oz lemon juice

.5 oz triple sec

1 oz Fireball

1 oz Jagermeister

1 oz Midori

1 oz Malibu

Splash of cola

Stir. Serve in highball with an Everclear float and a lit cocktail umbrella.

#cocktail #recipe #bartender

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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parkchanwoohoo

I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account

It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

bruzum

anaahera-cervizia

Bathing my balls in Gold Bond is the only way I'm making it out of this summer alive

#summer #life hacks #call dem thangs snowballz

homunculus-argument

The biggest fault in playing magic the gathering online is not being able to physically strangle your opponents. When the fuck did everyone else get the fucking Turbo Steroid Decks starting every game with some fuckass zero cost card going "if you have seven cards in your hand rn you win immediately no matter what" that summons a 12/13 Fuckzilla with vigilance and deathtouch. Like oh wow wowwee congratulations fuck you. I wonder if your mother is self-aware enough to regret having children.

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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inlandwest

homunculus-argument

I think my deepest problems as a person stem from the fact that instead of an inner child, I have an inner One Of These Fucking Things

Like that's what the core of my soul looks like. It's just one of those ugly little fucklings.

important-animal-images

thenookienostradamus

oh siddhartha gautama, called Buddha, we're really in it now

forked-tongue-blasphemer

Isopod

British Library, Harley MS 3244, c. 1236-1250, folio 64r

destiny2-names

#destiny 2

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Does God sending rainbows after he fucks our shit up ever feel like an abusive boyfriend bringing flowers after beating your ass to anyone else

Pretty gesture, promises, but next week he'll flood our shit and there'll be another bouquet

And in the end, it's just a bit of a threat too. Like, "You better be thankful and accept my apology. I went out of my way for these flowers. And... like... I coulda done way worse. Like I used to... so. You know."

#rainbows #god #christianity #bible

homunculus-argument

Wednesday the 15th. What an excellent day. Middle of the week, middle of the month. Truly, we are in the middle of things.

shivrane

#2026

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