I am D.W.?

me at the bar: hey ill have two on the rocks Bartender: two what? me: thanks :)

SCREAMING Muffy sis…………..the carbs

UNESCO recognizes this post as a patronage to humanity 

[ID: Verified tweet by mohamad safa @MHDKSafa that reads: Police don’t prevent crime. They show up after it happens. Crime prevention starts with funding social programs and creating opportunity. End ID]

I hate driving because you have to do everything perfectly as fast as possible or everyone around you will announce their displeasure with airhorns

oh and if you mess up you die and kill a bunch of people at the same time

LITERALLY like disarming a bomb except there’s a peanut gallery watching you and they’ve each got an airhorn and also another bomb

pandemic or not why do y’all get so close to people in line at the store

Geometry was so fuckibg stupid omfg “prove this is a triangle” I literally know it’s a triangle like intuitively bitch

Whenever I see Kylie Jenner I think about how fucked up life is. Like how much of a joke it is.

shut up police officer you’re like 12

It amazes me that i made this like 6 years ago if not more and it still gets reblogged