Shit My School Says @shitmyschoolsays - Tumblr Blog

One of my Asian friends goes by an American name but his official birth certificate name is wooshin or something like that and whenever a sub tried to reads that he’ll just go “it’s pronounced kevin”

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(Talking about a phone)

Girl: I thought it was indestructible?

Guy: Not when you drop it from three stories high...

Girl: How'd you manage to do that?

Guy: ...... hardcore parkour...

#parkour #hardcore parkour #MORE INTENSE THAN NORMAL PARKOUR #the shame in his voice

I'm so hungry. I spent all my lunch money on wigs.

this girl who wears a wig to school every day

referencepostblog

Do you ever talk to someone for the first time and just get this vibe that says ‘Hey, you’ve done anal before’

This random guy in the library (via whensocietykills)

I walked out of Zero Dark Thirty. I watched a whole hour and not a second of it was funny!

Junior boy

#not all movies are funny???#IT WAS NOT A COMEDY

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What's an electron?

Senior girl in physics

So today in my gym class, we were discussing heart disease. My gym teacher kept saying "dead fried chicken." The whole time I'm sitting there like, "what the fuck is alive fried chicken?"

#im so confused

SORRY YOU LIKE TO GET WEIRD AND DO COCAINE!

Some random boy in a random classroom.

#hmm #geology majors are weird

Physics teacher: So if you Aced chemistry like I know a lot of you did, you'll do really well on this unit.

Girl: I didn't Ace chemistry! I Bced it. Sometimes I Cced it.

#umm #are you sure you didn't fce it...?#who even are you #school #stupid

Boy: You know, I kind of regret slacking off senior year because now I'm taking stupid classes like these.

Girl: Yeah...

-silence-

Girl: Well, you know. YOLO.

#sigh

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What do Vietnamese teddy bears look like?

White sophomore boy to Asian senior boy

#racism ugh #who even are you #ur gross

Takes some stress off the uterus...

My fitness professor on why girls do "modified" sit ups

#poor uterus #awkward

There's no gay angles.

Trigonometry professor

#DISCRIMINATION!

You're not married yet! Why do you have two phones?

Trigonometry professor

#watchu tryna say trig prof?

Fitness instructor: *explains for the first 40 minutes of class how we're going to be checking into the Gym and all that*

Girl: Wait, do you mean we're going to have to work out in this class?

Fitness instructor: *stare*

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sciencebranchblues-deactivated2

Gems from Gender Studies today:

“You laugh, but the ‘Tits and Ass Theory of Evolution’ is a legitimate thing.”

“I really hope we have time to get to masturbation today…”

“So basically, if you were female and had a clitoris, you were a witch.”

“See you Monday, and remember we’re all inferior!”

peterpancaked

oh my god

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