Sh*t Found On Tumblr & Twitter

Today’s doctor visit was absolutely useless.

She was running late right off the bat, which, whatever, it happens - so the nurse took me back to do vitals and then sit me in an exam room.   From June 22 to July 18th, I lost four pounds - which might not seem like a lot if I had been dieting or working out, but I had not.  From July 18th to July 25th, I lost an additional three pounds, putting me at just over 200 lbs (I think the exact number was 200.6 or something like that).  The nurse didn’t seemed concerned, though she did note that my blood pressure seemed to be a little high (but I’ve always ran a little high, so who knows).

I sat back in the exam room for 30-45 minutes, nearly falling asleep twice.   That never happens, as I generally don’t like falling asleep anywhere but in my bed, where I can use my CPAP.

Dr. M eventually came in though and started the exam.  I showed her where the lump was and explained that it hadn’t shown up on ultrasound, but that the Radiologist and Ultrasound Tech both agreed that they could feel something.  Dr. M felt around for a little while with me laying down, asked me to clarify where I felt the lump, asked me to sit up and tried one last time to feel it before saying “I don’t feel any lump and both sides of your chest look perfectly symmetrical to me.”

Uh.....wat.

I showed her where I felt the lump/swelling (I can still feel it as I type), let her know one more time that the Radiologist and UT had both felt it and her reply was  “Well, I can’t feel a lump and neither did the radiologist.”

....???? The radiologist literally came into the room where the ultrasound was done, felt my chest, re-did part of the ultrasound, felt my chest again and said that she had felt a lump - and now you’re sitting here and trying to call me a liar?????

“I think the best course of action would be to wait and see, keep an eye on it.”

I must have immediately went sour faced or my eyes welled up before I knew it, IDK, because the conversation proceeded like this (I could almost recite it word for word, I apparently get a photographic memory when I’m angry):

Doc: What, uh, what do you think?

Me: I guess it’s fine.   (while internally screaming that it was, in fact, not fine)

Doc:  Well, what are your hesitations? What would you like to do?

Me: I don’t know, you’re the doctor, not me.  I just don’t want to wait around, thinking “Oh, it’s nothing” and then find out six months from now “OOPS, It was something!”

Doc:  What are your hesitations? What are you so afraid of? (her tone was incredibly condescending, which just pissed me off more)

Me:  All I know is that they told my Dad that they would “Wait and see” and by the time they rechecked, he had cancer in his bones, lungs, and he had a massive tumor twisting around his brain stem.   

Doc:  I get that you’re freaking out over nothing, especially since that happened with your Dad.  That’d be enough to make anyone an anxious mess (Thanks for calling me hysterical, doc).   My concern is that if we start ordering all of these tests, that’s exposing you to an unnecessary amount of radiation.  I mean, the next step would be a CT Scan, and I can order one if you really want, but I wouldn’t medically recommend it or find it medically necessary.  

Keep in mind this same doctor had no issue ordering a HIDA Scan, in which they inject radioactive material directly into your body at roughly the same dosage as a CT Scan of the Chest.   I kind of phased out and was 1000% done at that point, so I just started nodding and saying “Sure” to everything.  I shouldn’t be surprised - I had actually told my Mom this morning that I was dreading the appointment because I could see Dr. M turning this into a fight - but I guess I was hoping that she wouldn’t be so incredibly dismissive of my fears and concerns.   I barely made it into my Mom’s car before I started to cry out of pure frustration with Dr. M.

I’m still trying to decide if I should write the office and say “Hey, I changed my mind.  I’d like that CT Scan after all.”

I’m so sick of your empty threats, Amy.  If you really want to report me to the police, go ahead - but you won’t and do you know why? Because then you’ll have to explain all of the death threats you made towards me and to several others on multiple occasions.  It’ll look pretty bad on your end if you go to report me for giving out a city (and that’s it - not an address, not a place that you work, not even your name because how can we even be sure your name is Amy when you’ve also used the alias’ Holly and Yvonne?)  when I’ve already filed complaints with three separate law enforcement agencies about you attempting to hire hackers to get into my computer and hitmen to come to my house and MURDER me - not just make posts that are full of my own words, but to KILL ME.   All I have ever done is post YOUR behavior - screenshots of things you’ve said or done on the internet.  I haven’t had to make anything up, it’s all your words in photographic form.

Which is the more serious crime here, pal? Posting evidence of your own shitty behavior or soliciting a murder?

Also, since you felt the need to send this, I guess I’ll be sending this message to the police as well as this screenshot from my IP tracker as evidence of your continued harassment after I’ve asked you several times to stop.

Update @ 8:31 am because I just now thought about it:  People would also have no idea if that’s where you actually live or not......if you hadn’t confirmed it with this “anonymous” message.  

Hi Amy

I saw on your wattpad that you’ve managed to create another clusterfuck of a situation by talking about nothing but wanting to kill yourself because people fail to throw themselves at your feet, kissing the ground you walk on.

I will take this chance to tell you that if you’re feeling suicidal, you can contact one of the many suicide hotlines or go in to your local ER and tell them that you’re having thoughts of self harm.

A+ on yet another threat, Amy.   I’ll be passing that one along to the police as well as this next post in which you clearly threaten to cause grievous bodily injury to Julie Plec and Cadly Mack.

Grow the fuck up or take your blankie and baba and go back to bed junior, because you’re clearly up way past your bedtime.

I’m not blurring names or usernames because if you feel that saying these things is okay, you should absolutely 100% be ashamed of yourselves.

This is what you told someone who spoke out about you (copied word for word, as my screenshot software isn’t working correctly today):

....

.......

Would you like to hazard a guess at how many times you’ve been on my blog since May 31st?

I’ve said it several times now, and what the hell, I’ll say it one more time for posterity - Go away.  Leave me and my blogs alone.   The only thing I’ve done is copy and paste or screenshot things that you have said - which is not a crime.   You have made several death threats to both myself, the writers of The Originals, and various other fans.    

You’re right, Amy.  I am afraid of you - I am fucking petrified because anyone over the age of seven who thinks it’s appropriate to say thinks like “I’ll fucking cut you” or “Fucking die, bitch” or “I hope you just fucking die” or “Slit your throat while I watch” is fucking insane and capable of acts that most normal/sane people cannot fully comprehend.

However, your anonymity and the fact that you deleted your twitter when I spoke of reporting your threats to the police (who actually have copies of your death threats towards me anyway so deleting was pointless) speaks volumes.  It says that even though I am afraid, even though I am just now able to sleep through the night without fear, that you have no power over me.   

Your threats, while terrifying, will NOT control my life.  At 26, I am stronger and more mature than you could ever hope to be.

So congratulations - have a good laugh at my expense, I’m okay with that.   

Not at all surprised.  In fact, I think she’s actually used that URL before

Go away.  

Was kind of hoping that the idea of avoiding me was a given, considering the last time you mentioned me was solely to try and solicit a hitman and/or terrorist and/or computer hacker to ruin and/or end my life.

So, I’ll say it again just so that if anything ever does come from pursuing legal charges against you:

This shit of you threatening my life and then continuing to show up on my blogs? That ends here and now.

There’s a very real chance it could be her (phoebegillies wasn’t deleted - she just changed the URL; peachytonkin could be a side blog to that, I suppose).