The queen is here!

Meg marrying Angus:

All she had to was wait until her son was of age to rule! Now she done lost her regency all because she couldn’t wait to get her back blown out:

 Angus: “You will write to your brother for his help?”

Meg: “I will do more than that. I will write to Catherine.”

Me:

God the fake feminism is so cringy! Just kill me already.

Catherine sending Howard after Meg despite the fact that Henry told her not to:

Anne Hastings almost shooting Maggie and William:

Wolsey playing matchmaker for Henry and Anne:

Ok, seriously, why are they making Henry out to be a selfish dickhead who didn’t give a shit about his sisters?! He fucking wrote to Meg begging her to bring her, and her children’s asses to England so they wouldn’t be killed:

Henry when Catherine told him she had Howard fetch Meg:

This bitch just don’t listen does she? All she’s doing is creating even more problems, not solving the ones they already have:

Henry on the inside the entire time:

Daddy Stafford looking might fine once again:

Wolsey and Catherine at the council meeting:

Catherine getting salty cause Lina and Oviedo ain’t got time for no bullshit drama to gossip about:

Bitch get the fuck outta here with your bullshit:

Henry when Catherine once again tries to force him to have sex with her:

Now she wanna get mad cause he doesn’t have sex with her ass:

Lina when Catherine demanded that she tell her what people were gossiping about:

You better listen to her Catherine cause you ain’t gonna like what you wanna hear:

Then this bitch gonna go on, and insult her mentally ill sister:

Henry when he realized that Catherine didn’t bleed on their wedding night:

Catherine, honey, I know you’re trying to take “control” of the situation (aka his affair), but Imma need you to learn how to read the room. Because this man is making it very clear that he don’t give a fuck about how you feel, or whether or not you approve of him having an affair:

Like seriously! This is Henry’s body language throughout the whole conversation:

Georgie is killing it in this scene. She got me crying right alongside her:

Give her back her babies you assholes!!

Howard: “You’re a fucking she wolf!”

Me:

She still a dumbass tho, but she’s Lucy from Narnia so I’ll let it slide.

Why is Maggie going so hard for Catherine?! She ain’t do nothing but get Maggie in trouble because of her bullshit ass lies:

Fake feminism once again!

Wolsey when he saw that Maggie’s plan worked:

MARY I IS BORN!:

Wait a minute...are they seriously making Catherine and Henry disappointed about her birth?! Are you fucking kidding me:

Get ready for the ranting in 3..2..1:

HENRY AND CATHERINE WERE NOT DISSAPOINTED THAT MARY WASN’T A BOY! THEY WERE FUCKING DELIGHTFUL, EXCITED, HAPPY, AND MOST OF ALL WERE EXTREMLEY THANKFUL THAT THEY FINALLY HAD A HEALTHY LIVING CHILD AFTER 4 PREGNANCIES, WHERE THERE WAS NOTHING BUT DEAD BABIES. THEY WERE NOT HOPEFUL ABOUT THIS PREGNANCY BEING A SUCCESFUL ONE, SO THEY WENT INTO IT WITH LITTLE TO NO HOPE AT ALL OF IT SUCCEEDING. GRANTED HENRY WAS A LITTLE UPSET THAT MARY WAS A GIRL, BUT HE WAS FUCKING HAPPY TO FINALLY HAVE A LIVING CHILD. HELL, MARY WAS THE 16TH CENTURY VERSION OF A RAINBOW BABY, AND IF ANYTHING HE SAW HER BIRTH AS A SIGN THAT IF THEY COULD HAVE A HEALTHY BABY GIRL THEN THEY COULD HAVE SONS! WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY SHOWRUNNERS WRITING IT AS IF THEY WERE EXTREMELY DISSAPOINTED ABOUT HER BIRTH?! WHY?!!!

Ok, let me calm down now:

They’re really going through with making Catherine a deadbeat mother:

Then this bitch got the nerve to snap at Lina, claiming that it’s her fault Henry is distancing himself from her because she accused him of cheating on her. And had it not been for Lina “shamelessly listening to such gossip” then Henry wouldn’t be mad at her:

Here I go about to rant again. BITCH YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS DEMANDING THAT LINA TELL YOU WHAT PEOPLE WERE GOSSIPING ABOUT, BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WANT IT TO BE TRUE. YOU KNEW WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT, YOU JUST DIDN’T WANT TO BELIEVE IT. THEN YOU WANNA CLAIM THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO THE GOSSIPING AS IF SHE WAS SOME SCHOOLGIRL WHO WAS SO EAGER TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE WERE TALKING ABOUT. WHEN IN ACTUALITY SHE WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR ASS FROM THESE RUMORS, BECAUSE SHE KNEW THE PAIN IT WOULD CAUSE YOU. YOU DUMB, SELFISH, DISRESPECTFUL ASS BITCH:

Catherine walking in on Henry having sex with Bessie:

Me throughout that whole scene:

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Karma got your ass real quick, Catherine. You sitting up here claiming Lina was intentionally trying to hurt you, when the only one who was really hurting you was your other lady-in-waiting Elizabeth ‘Bessie” Motherfucking Blount:

That’s all I got to say for this episode. It was shit. Pure and utter shit. The 2x05 review is gonna be even worse because this show KEEPS GETTING WORSE! My final words ladies and gentlemen:

Henry when Catherine tried to hold his hand:

“And the Queen she had a victory?”

“No, the Queen had a lost.” :

Catherine trying to force Henry to have sex with her:

Catherine leave that man alone! Can’t she see that he doesn’t wanna be bothered by her tonight:

Catherine insulting Lina’s children’s names:

Edward Stafford looking mighty fine this episode:

Now that I think about it this man has been fine since Season 1:

Lawd Jesus! This man is DADDY!! Olly Rix/Edward Stafford can get it!: 

*Clears throat* Sorry about that ya’ll:

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Catherine claiming she’s a better politician than Wolsey:

Catherine yelling at Henry for taking Wolsey’s side:

If this was Henry VIII from The Tudors, or real life Henry, he would’ve went off on her ass:

You know for someone who claims to be such a “great” politician, you sure don’t know how to act like one, Catherine:

Catherine got one more time to insult Lina’s kids again:

Mary and Charles:

Catherine not letting Henry grieve over the death of their son:

Catherine and Henry finally having sex again:

Mary and Louis’ pillow fighting:

🤣🤣 Mary trynna to give this man a heart attack so he can drop dead fast enough:

Catherine finally going to see Lina:

“We are strong, Archbishop. And none shall come between us.”

Me:

Maggie going off on Catherine about Edmund de la Pole’s execution:

Catherine telling Maggie to put her bitterness behind her over Edmund’s death:

Catherine telling Lina that she knows she’s having a girl because of Mother’s Intuition:

Catherine getting salty and catching an attitude because Oviedo rejected her request:

Seriously why is she getting in her feelings over Oviedo rejecting her request?! She’s acting like he’s her husband who’s going to war instead being there to see his soon-to-be-born children:

Mary’s wedding dress is slaying honey! YASSSS!!:

Is that Anne Boleyn?!:

Catherine’s pregnancy armor:

I’m sorry but-🤣🤣:

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!! How is this shit meant to make her look like a badass?! She looks like a freaking joke:

General Howard trying to keep Catherine’s ass away from the battle:

Meg when she saw Catherine’s pregnant armor:

James when he saw Catherine:

James when General Howard insulted Meg:

🤣🤣Bruh this is how General Howard acts towards the Scottish in general:

Did Catherine just call Meg stupid?:

Catherine riding into battle trying to be like her mother:

Then her ass ends up getting dragged off of her horse and almost captured:

Why is she just standing there?!!:

Here she go almost getting captured again:

Wow...that’s it. That’s all she does is kill one man:

Woowwwww:

Catherine on the outside when Lina told her she had twin boys:

On the inside:

Henry telling Howard he still has his cock:

Ahh shit Catherine’s having a miscarriage:

Well what did she think would happen?! This is what happens when you’re going into battle while you’re SIX MONTHS PREGNANT:

So, we’re not even gonna get a full fledged scene of their coronation just a flashback:

God they look so awkward with that baby! They’re acting as if they’ve never held a baby before! Hold the damn baby right:

Wow what a clever way to show how ethnically different Spanish customs are from English ones by having Ferdinand kiss everyone as a form of greeting. Despite the fact that a simple Google search shows that it ain’t fucking true! God this show is cringy:

Why the fuck would you bring a newborn baby to a joust?! Why is the show making Catherine and Henry out to be these stupid neglectful parents who put their SON in danger?:

God please don’t make Thomas Moore and Margaret Pole into a couple. He was in a happy loving relationship with his wife Alice. Why do they feel the need to make them into a couple?!:

Charles and Mary 😍😍😍:

AGH HE JUST RIPPED OUT HIS DAMN EYEBALL:

Wait Edward Stafford never lost an eyeball that was Sir Francis Bryan. Is this their way of creating conflict between Henry and Edward? Over a damn eyeball?! When in actuality it was over him being a Plantagenet: 

Is it just me or do the actors who play Catherine and Henry have no chemistry whatsoever?:

LINA AND OVIEDO!!!:

Surprise surprise Ferdinand's fake ass tricked them into marching their army into France:

How is anyone surprised by this? This is the same man who abandoned his abused daughter, and stole her kingdom from her all so her punk ass husband couldn’t have it:

You better watch yourself Catherine catching an attitude with Lina like that:

Lina is trying to warn you about your father’s bullshit, but you wanna catch an attitude cause of your pride. About to catch this fist:

TBH if I was Lina I wouldn’t be Catherine’s friend anymore. All she’s done is drag her into her endless selfish bullshit:

Now she’s want to cry about her father being an abusive piece of shit when Lina tried to warn her dumbass:

Did this heifer just leave her baby on a cold chapel ground?! What kind of  heathenous bullshit is this:

Catherine: This is God punishing us

Henry: Why would he?

🤣🤣🤣 Bruh Henry was like:

Wow how stereotypical to make the Scottish out to be unruly barbarians:

Even more fake feminist bullshit with Margaret Tudor:

They are many ways to show feminism in the 16th century. You adding 21st century feminism into this does nothing but insult the real women who worked their asses off during those times to get into the positions of power they were in. Without the ironically fake sexist feminist B.S. that this show is trying to do:

I’m pretty sure Catherine never made a speech like this disowning her homeland. Otherwise Spain would’ve never had her back when Henry did her wrong:

Oh God are they really gonna have her pregnant ass fight in the ACTUAL battle in order to “prove” she’s a badass feminist?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! What it wasn’t “gurl power” enough for her to ride in armor, and give an inspirational speech to the men before they went riding off in battle? Now ya’ll are gonna have her actually fight in battle because that makes her a real woman?! When there is no way in Heaven or Hell the men would allow their Queen pregnant with England’s heir fight in battle. Not to mention how are they gonna try to make Henry seem like the bad guy for not wanting her to fight in battle when all she’s doing is putting her and the baby in danger?! How is he in the wrong for that? How?!!!

This is just another example of this show’s fake feminist bullshit, and I am so sick of it. Be prepared when I review 2x02 cause it’s gonna be a trip.