Hello and welcome to my blog!

when i was little and i went to church people would talk about “fearing god.” they would use ‘’fear’ to describe like a way of respecting him while understanding his power and i never knew what that  meant until i met a fucking horse 

This… went in a completely different direction than I thought.

Horses will do that too - go in a completely different direction than what you thought. It’s one of the reasons they’re feared.

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

People who have a pervasive shit attitude toward everything are extremely exhausting to be around. No, this doesn't make you a bad person for having trauma or depression. You're allowed to go through hard times and lean on others for support. But there is a point where being negative and spiteful about things all the time is not only self-defeating but harmful to your relationships. There is a meaningful difference between talking about your struggles vs. almost pointedly refusing to engage with opportunities for positive experiences/emotions. The latter becomes contagious and fatiguing for people around you, because you're essentially expecting them to dig themselves into a hole, too. It can even start to feel like you're punishing others for enjoying things if you're not happy. And it's wrong.

Like my mother will often respond to a comment that's positive or happy by talking about how she's unhappy, upset, or angry about things, and she does it with a spiteful "good for you" tone. Absolutely nothing I say will get her to acknowledge that she's still being shown support and caring even if people aren't willing to be miserable with her all the time. It's a very unhealthy and emotionally immature trait. If this is you, I strongly suggest that you look at ways to improve your distress tolerance and consider the emotional impact you have on others. It is NOT others' job to regulate your emotions or fix all of the wrongs in your life for you. Other people's happiness or attempts at happiness aren't a betrayal.

The bottom line is that it does actually matter how you frame things, sometimes. A lot of the time. Are you committed to being miserable because you take some form of satisfaction in it, and is that maybe preventing you from being healthier and happier?

I’ve reblogged her before, but really, you can’t have too many dark-skinned Black queens on your dash. 

They found someone to repair the hand-knitted block blanket that my great-grandmother made. It had been eaten at by moths in a handful of places before I inherited it, and Loose Ends found someone local to darn it. I asked her to darn in golden yellow yarn so that the story of the repair would become part of the story of the blanket, and I love every bit of it.

I love how varied and universally weird the circumstances for making lifelong friendships are. Here's this guy I accidentally messaged once and I could not imagine my life without them now. Here's this girl I was so scared of when I met her, I would kill for her and remind her to rest on the regular. Here's this other guy we have so much in common we used to joke we were the same person in different timelines. It took us years to meet in person and I attended his wedding. There are also people who entered my life in absolutely unremarkable ways but changed it forever for the better. It's wonderful how easy it is to find people to love.

This is the best post I have ever written, read the notes and be blessed by loving your friends magic