another day at the simping factory
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another day at the simping factory

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ilya rozanov appreciation week: day two favorite look: black on black
Heated Rivalry (2025-) dir. Jacob Tierney
fic: decadent stress chamber pairing: hollanov tags: frat au excerpt:
From the vantage of halfway up the stairs, the bodied sea almost makes sense, has a certain current to it. Parting and cresting, surging, slowing down. There’s a guy right in the middle defining the tide. He’s not huge huge—he’s like, Shane huge. Just noticeable. Anything so sturdy in the middle of the ocean would be. “Who’s that?” Shane asks, and regrets it.
chapter six:
“Doesn’t work,” Rozanov grumbles, warm and sputtering with one whole leg on the wrong side of the curtain. Water rushes down the inside of his thigh, pooling around his foot on the naked floor. Shane wonders if Russians like Christmas; he needs a reason to get him a bathmat. “I am too big. We will not fit together.” “Shut up. You just wanted to say you’re big.” Rozanov grins. Water blurs his face, the clean rolling kiss. Shane pulls off, pulls him in. “Just like—yeah.” They fit.
06-15✨ HBD Ilya Rozanov!!!
Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar
Sometimes I attend somebody’s thesis presentation and I’m so impressed that I follow them home to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar at 3am.
Sometimes I watch someone eat mayonnaise out of a jar at 3am with such fervour I am compelled to attend their thesis presentation
Sometimes I look at a thesis presentation and I go ‘I know exactly how much mayonnaise you had to eat out of the jar at 3 am to pull this shit off’

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Hello wife
NEW: Connor Storrie's Best Press Moments (via heatedrivalryoncrave)
the first time shane & ilya spend ilya’s birthday together i think the vibe really is ‘saying all of my dog’s favorite words in the same sentence’ because shane wants to make sure its ilya’s best birthday ever & doesn’t know how to do anything by half . shanevoice ilya pay attention i have a plan (nooo hollanderrrrr i want to fuck you NOW is my birthday :((((( how could u be so cruel to me) ok we’re taking the ferrari to mcdonald’s for mcgriddles (ilya visibly perking up) you are allowed to go 125 km/h but only if the coast is clear (imaginary tail beginning to wag) & you have to slow down if you want road head . when we get home we are taking a pot gummy & going swimming & i am grilling for lunch (ilya, his eyes huge, in the apron i bought for you?) yes ilya in the meat daddy apron . then shower, nap, one beer, dinner at my parents’ house, home by 6, and then i’ll give you your birthday present 🙂 does that sound good ? ilya, crying, shane this is my best birthday ever (shanevoice ilya it’s 9 am we haven’t even done any of it yet) MY BEST BIRTHDAY EVER WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHO I LOVE . & after they fuck (because obviously that was the first thing on the agenda shane just likes when ilya whines & begs for it & ilya does too) shane is back-to-business rustling around the bedroom putting their clothes out & talking about nothing while ilya watches from the bed w the big dopey smile of a man enamored with the bus that just ran him over
Imagining Ilya on his birthday receiving flowers from Svetlana & a cake made by David & Yuna & a birthday video from the Pike children & texts from the entire Centaurs family & of course his husband treating him like a sweet perfect birthday prince. Imagining Ilya Rozanov feeling loved & at peace
and i do think they do the cheesy thing of taking polaroids of each other on birthdays…. ilya always takes one of shane while they’re still in bed so he’s mainly in his glasses w horrendous bedhead and his little frog smile and sometimes they don’t develop well but ilya still keeps them because that’s hisshane
and shane always has ilya stand in the same place in their house if they’re at home, making sure the lighting and framing is right so it turns out clear. and yea ilya’s usually shirtless and mugging the camera a little but you can see the joy in his eyes, proud he’s made it another year with his baby

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"Ah," Ilya said in mock despair, "then you know my secret." "That you love me?" "That I am very mushy inside."
Shout out to everyone who is just so tired So so exhausted So very very tired so very fatigued so sleepy and tired So
also loved another fic by tumblr user @trippedlaces (me and a million other people, judging by the number of kudos and bookmarks; which is great because to me it seems like reluctant and clueless gay shane is an unpopular concept. it is, however, good actually.) great dialogues, funny, amazing shane’s inner voice, always asking questions baby. just feels like a real slice taken out of shane hollander’s busy life (with shane being so very chill about what’s happening which is also great). unpacked some stereotypes along the way through the filter of mr clothes-folder.
He thought for a moment about what it would have been like if he'd learned about the Kinsey scale during his very tentative googling the summer after the draft. He would have told himself he was a one, maybe. Then he would have had to grudgingly concede to a slightly higher number every year, until he was 25 and absolutely fucking clinging to the possibility of being a 5.9 with white knuckles and a flop sweat.
what's the matter honey? you've hardly touched your fleeting experience of time on earth

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the duality of man is Ilya Rozanov being simultaneously so straight passing that Shane Hollander could own up to being in love with him and have people assume it's an unrequited crush, yet so visibly queer that in 66% of instances where Scott Hunter came out to people prior to the on-ice kiss, they immediately assumed he was dating Rozanov
schrodingers queer
shane is like. such a big boy. biceps the size of your head. thighs could crush a watermelon. strong round glutes. bursting out his shorts. big fat cock. etc