you will say "wow"!

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

One thing I hate about chicago is that they make you smoke weed out of an old wooden shoe at house parties. The kind a gnome would wear

SLUT WORLD IS UNDER ATTACK

people on twitter are like "lmao i bet tumblr users are so mad about 'twitter refugees' i saw someone saying its gentrification" while tumblr users are collectively writing something i can only describe as an epistolary screenplay

im gonna get cancelled for this but tbh my least favourite part of goncharov was when he said "its gonchin' time" and gonched all over those people. it just felt really derivative and low-concept to me

fucking kill yourself

i would literally pay to see you destroyed

after i saw goncharov i walked out of the theatre normally and without incident

people on the subway train are alwaus looking at their phones well we should look to eachother and build a community that lives on trains and be like a siphonophore that uses the train as a shell . and float through the pelagic zone and share the seas nutrients such as small fish and crustaceans among our linked bodies

tumblr is about to be the social media equivalent of that olympic skater who won gold bc everyone in front of him fell over