Shes Vaague

So, I am autistic, and I show a lot of signs of emotional neglect during childhood. The thing is, all I see about it mentions reasons like parents were also neglected as children, there's substance abuse, maybe they resent their kids, mental health issues, maybe just not having enough parenting skills... But in my case is none of that. My parents were good parents and in fact accommodated parts of my autism since I was a baby despite not knowing I was autistic.

The thing is, despite all, despite them being good, despite them trying to accommodate my needs, etc. They failed, because they didn't know I was autistic. Which meant that I didn't express my emotional needs in a way they could understand, and I didn't know how to communicate the things I needed. I'm convinced if I was neurotypical this would not have happened, I would've grown up to be a healthy individual.

The cause of the emotional neglect was a translation issue, was me and them communicating in completely different ways and neither could understand the other. Maybe things would have been different if we knew before, but I cannot know that.

But please be careful that you don't go bullying autistic people the same way.

The bigots and mansplainers lecture you from a vastly misplaced feeling of superiority. They are narcissists that want everyone to look upon them as above everyone else. They want everyone to admit that they are right and everyone else is wrong. The only right way to do anything is their way. The only time they care about others is when they want to make other people feel stupid and small.

An autistic person info dumping on you about anything and everything is coming from the complete opposite direction. It's because they like you that they share. Never because they want you to feel stupid.

They are info dumping to you because they genuinely want to share something they love with you, as a token of friendship. They are giving you a piece of their heart with the hope of friendship between the two of you.

When you lie to them about what they share, they become worried. They worry that some one has lied to you when you purposely fuck with them. They don't want you to be labeled stupid if you tell the wrong person those lies. They genuinely try letting you know the truth so no one will make you feel stupid in the future.

I can tell you from experience that it is the absolute worst feeling in the world to realize that a "new friend" went out of their way to lie and make me feel stupid for funzies. It irreversibly breaks my trust in them. It makes me feel stupid and sick in my stomach when I find out that they never cared that I was giving them a piece of my heart on a fucking silver platter.

It's happened to me countless times as a kid, teen and it still happens as an adult. I feel happy for a bit cause I made a new friend; Then I feel crushed when they turn around and say, "I'm just fucking with you" after a stressful debate that was just supposed to be a friendly talk about anime.

It never stops hurting.

It just makes me feel stupid and small.

Stupid and small just like bigots and mansplainers want everyone other than themselves to feel.

Every single time you do something good, you’ve made a decision to make the world a little brighter.