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hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

women keep coming up to me giggling and blushing and running their finger along the edge of my mighty greatsword like STOP theres literally evil afoot

can I stay in bed until 2025

Wake up bitch

like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

I think it's one of those normal non-corrupted amulets and I'm glowing green for unrelated reasons

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

my parents trying to figure out what to get me for christmas

i think the world would be a happier place if we were all permanently stoned

the lottery by shirley jackson

hold on i have to read something real quick

dude

Beating the alcoholic allegations by easily plugging my phone into the charger with no struggle at all