On Wittgenstein's Lap

using the traffic light system during a kink scene but shaking my head the entire time so the audience knows i dont support car-dependant infrastructure and its influence on the common vocabulary

the annoying thing about weightlifting is that you have to lift weights that are a little too heavy for you if you want to get stronger. and you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to keep building muscle. fucked up.

thank god this same principle doesnt apply to any other skill you want to improve at! that would really suck.

everyone who is not currently in the process of moving please pause and take a moment to be grateful that you're not currently in the process of moving

however unhealthy and problematic, the sexiness of cigarettes in film and media is so much more interesting and compelling than seeing someone sucking on a vape. there is absolutely nothing horny about it to counteract the terrible health effects. embarrassing

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

Bro wants to be a fop but he's barely dapper

Bro called himself bohemian with zero joie de vivre

Men who talk shit about gold diggers underestimate the grit it takes to put up with an insufferable man, even when money is involved. We should be thanking them for their service like they are veterans.

U literally cannot save your mother like it cant be done

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Are vampires allowed to go to blood drives or are they banned due to the anal sex thing

…they do that?

yes, vampires are ravenous sodomites

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws