Its Snakes Bitch

she looks like she’d throw a beer bottle across the bar and hit a dude square between the eyes

I love this mental image of this quietly horrified and righteous 6th grader just being like ma’am you can’t do that

[picks up an alligator and kisses it]

the alligator kisses back

but watch out

For more kisses?

Paladin™: when you’re kinda feeling cleric but also want to Stab

Sorcerer™: when you wanna be a caster but you don’t wanna be a nerd

Bard™: when you’ve never made a decision in your life and you don’t intend to start now

Warlock™: when you’re not quite ready to admit you’re into cryptids like that

Druid™: when honestly you’d rather be on the floor petting the DM’s cat but they made you play and this is the next best thing you guess

Fighter™: when all the weird puzzle shit bores the snot out of you and you’d rather stack dice til the fighting part gets here

Rogue™: when you’ve never solved a problem in your life, and in fact have caused many, and you’re just fine with that honestly

Cleric™: when your friends are a gaggle of idiots with a deathwish and you’re the only person who’s capable of saving them from themselves

Ranger™: when the druid has the right general idea but is just a bit too friendly and outgoing and trusting for your tastes

im full of rage and dangerously stupid but god is holding me back by the scruff of my neck like a kitten

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”