Covert Narc

Hi yeah call me Shen and I’m a self diagnosed covert narcissist. I post about Narcissistic Personality Disorder stuff and no, Narc Abuse isn’t real. Emotional abuse is and that’s what I went through so fuck off with your ableism. I am a very social person and get my supply from that so interaction is highly appreciated

Absolutely! Not rude at all I love this /gen

Actually something I advocate for a lot, breaking down stigma really helps by informing people of facts. So it is true that people with NPD have a very very inflated sense of importance and self (often manifests in high aspirations) but beyond that it’s a fragile ego, an ego that was built sometimes as a defense mechanism to the critical world around them. For me, NPD makes me unable to feel empathy but I can still sympathize but not everyone is the same (to clarify, empathy is feeling others emotions whereas sympathy is understanding them). Ego crashes are when for one reason or another, someone with NPD has, well, an ego crash. Their sense of importance and self tanks and is often accompanied by feelings of inferiority and worthlessness because with NPD, the self is often built around the ego. For me, I’m an incredibly creative and driven person and so I went through a serious bout of depression because I had no ideas on what to make and the idealized and perfect image I had in my head of myself did not match what I was seeing and feeling and doing. Cognitive dissonance if ya fancy. This has been a lot of yapping so I shall now list symptoms with their caveats

High sense of self importance

Often have high aspirations

Struggle to emphasize or sympathize with people

Anger issues when you feel like people are taking away your “supply” (supply is a term used to mean attention)

Some having an “ep” (exception person), someone who you don’t have the same judgmental attitude towards them or any of the other negative social traits in regards to other

Wanting to be the center of attention and getting frustrated or angry when someone’s takes it

Being disconnected from their actual identity and building themself up from their ego and idealized traits (I struggle with the “who am I” question a lot)

Can be caused by genetics or trauma/abuse in childhood

Hierarchal thinking, ranking people and other things like levels of friendship (personally I really struggle with my EP dating people because I see romantic partner as “ranking” higher than a friend [im aroace] and so it upsets me since I feel like I’ll never be enough for someone and they’ll always look for some partner to fill the shoes I can’t)

Black and white thinking, seeing it as all or nothing and it’s a trait also common with many other disorders. Someone is either good or bad, friend or worthless worm.

Personally for me I think my NPD ties into me being aroace because I thought I wanted romance for a while throughout my teen years and once I did get it, it just felt weird and gross and something akin to dysphoria and I came to realize I wanted to be a special someone, to have the exclusive attention and admiration of someone I cared about but the romance part I didn’t care for

An intense desire to preserve others image of them

For me, I have the desire to be the most morals and have the best opinions and takes on things and it conflicts with my often toxic and intrusive thoughts

Honestly the best way to depict it is to first gain multiple perspectives on it (great first step from you, I do really respect people who go out and try to inform themselves, it’s hard when the DSM-V TR and various other sites demonize it) and honestly you can give them “stereotypical” traits but just have nuance with it. Give them goals, show how they can or can’t function in certain situations, depict it as the human disorder it is. Most stereotypes about NPD are true with a BUT attached. (Except for the all narcissists are abusers thing, that is not true at all) We are egotistical BUT it is our way of protecting the ego we build ourselves around we can’t feel empathy BUT that doesn’t make us bad people. Giving them dimension is the best way because you could accurately portray every symptom down to a T but if they are only their symptoms them hooray you’ve made another bad narcissist that spreads misinformation despite your information being correct, people are so media illiterate and biased against narcissism and giving them a character that is just narcissism will reinforce those beliefs so this character gotta have depth and dimension to them, give them raw moments where their ego shatters and shows what their bravado was trying to shield. Show that they aren’t a demon, just someone who is and has been hurt and is deserving of consideration just like anyone else. When depicting mental illness it is important to portray it as neutral, it’s not a good or bad thing to have, it just is. NPD sticks with you for your whole life and it’s not something to be ashamed of so don’t be ashamed of writing a narcissist, own that shit! Narcissists can be nice too, they can mask and can have restraint and there’s so much nuance that can be found especially on here when you listen to the voices of people with NPD, something you’re already doing so good luck!

Sorry this was so long lol

Also feel free to ignore this, I’m just putting my gripes with current NPD informative material here.

I got you

Awww how cute, haters really think I give a fuck. Also my multitudes of friends beg to differ

then accidently unfollowed you because i was already following you lmao

btw you're cool

Guess I’m just so cool you followed me twice…

Yall genuinely why can people get away with this? Context for this quote was that he was talking about toxic/abusive mothers on the Internet and framed the fact that people with NPD don’t want to immediately disclose to strangers that they have a highly stigmatized disorder means that they’re manipulative and evil. I like this guys videos but for fucks sake how can you say this shit and not realize that it’s ableist.

Fuck my life I’m better than them