Power Made Flesh

Opposites attract dads, bond over show-tunes, their son, and avoiding near death situations

flaming (lol) bisexual Frenchman and uptight British guy who raise their bratty man-child ward and get so annoyed at each other they get married

college roommates that lived together so long it just sort of happened 

My first ever D&D character was Kriv, a dragonborn necromancer. I made his backstory simple, for he only had one goal: to fight a god. Not necessarily to the death, not to win. Just to say “Yeah I’ve fought a god, fuck you bud.”

The first god he finds is Bahamut at level 4, from our dragonborn paladin requesting guidance. This lawful evil character nearly passes out and asks this huge dragon god of good and law for a fight. Wish granted. Gets knocked the fuck out on turn one.

The flag should never be displayed with the union down, except as a signal of dire distress in instances of extreme danger to life or property.

Spite, fuel me

“What do you call it when you kill someone to get all their stuff?”

“I… I can’t believe I turned on you…”

“If we kill them, we get their stuff!”

“So help me, whore, I will BREAK you!”

“Let’s see… Are you possessed? Consorting with demons? A pathological liar?”

“Do you have any idea what’s at stake here?”

“It’s not something you learn. It’s a lot like sex. If it’s bad, it’s disappointing and everybody laughs. Do it right and it’s satisfying for everybody.”

“We both place others above ourselves. I happen to do it while clothed.”

“I removed the chance of compromise, because there is no compromise.”

“I’ve had enough of your loose lips. As I’m sure many men have.”

“Your death toll is approaching natural disasters!”

“Can you run five miles carrying a cow over your head?”

“What earth-shattering matter requires my attention NOW?”

“How do you do that thing when you walk?”

“Without an end, there can be no peace.” 

“Get rid of one threat and another appears. I’m starting to think this city’s in love with crisis.”

“It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly.”

“It gets no easier. Your struggles have only just begun.”

“I spy with my little eye, something that is… Red. And socially uncomfortable.”

“Men are only good for one thing. Women are good for six.”

“So what now? You aren’t just going to leave, are you?”

“Do I need to remind you what your friends did? Do I need to tell you how many lives have been lost, how many more will be lost? You cannot sit there and tell me *insert pronoun here* is INNOCENT!”

“Where I come from they’re called tattoos. Sailors get them all of the time. Breasts mostly…”

“You’re splitting hairs but wishing someone would split yours!”

“Anyway, I want you to know: I would never choose a demon over you while conscious and sober.”

“If I held a grudge against everyone who attacked me in a dream, I’d have no friends.”

I don’t know why I’ve been obsessively thinking about the concept of “gaydar” 

but I have. 

Actually no it’s because a straight family member used the term like 

“oh I have really great gaydar” 

and it made me feel really gross 

and it took me like a full hour to realize why. 

When heterosexual people say that, 

it feels like they’re bragging about their ability to clock us, you know? 

like a straight person is telling me that they can spot us queers at 50 paces 

and i’m immediately going to be uncomfortable with that, 

whereas when other queer folks talk about being able to spot each other 

it’s a tool for survival. 

Like here’s the thing right? 

being able to tell is important sometimes.  

Here’s an example: 

A couple summers ago I was in a very very small town in Nova Scotia, Canada 

(like 6 buildings small) 

and I met a woman in the library who was probably a little older than my actual mother. 

She was there most days using the wifi 

because she lived across the street in an apartment without internet. 

We sat at the same table a few times and spoke briefly about life in passing 

and after a few of these not-talking-about-gay-stuff convos I was pretty sure she was a part of the lgbtq community 

and I slipped in a casual pronoun re: an ex 

and she just looked at me, 

stopped completely 

and said “oh thank fuck, I thought so.” 

and instantly started talking about her girlfriend, 

it was like this huge wave of relief washed over both of us 

because we were in a small rural town and both hovering in this really queer space and unable to talk about it. 

Anyway she was really rad and took me to the closest big town to buy me a tim hortons coffee 

because she found it reprehensible that I had been in canada for more than 3 weeks already and hadn’t ever had it. 

Almost instantly it was like 

“oh okay we have this thing in common that other people may not be cool with 

but we can actually exist and not hide shit without the fear of violence or anger”

but when it’s a straight person

they’re pretty much just letting you know that they can spot the fact that you seem “abnormal” to them 

like great