Enjoying the Absurdities of life

stop asking who’s the man and who’s the woman in gay relationships and start asking which ones the serial murderer and which ones the one trying to catch them

__

One of the first things she taught me was to respond like this when someone’s looking for something, so like “où sont mes clés?” (where are my keys?) “dans ton cul” (in your ass), which can then be followed up with “comme ma bite” (like my dick)

Fast forward 8 years and Nausicaa comes to visit London from Lyon with her boyfriend, who I’ve never met before, and at one point he says “ou est mon tabac?” (where’s my tobacco?), and of course I say “dans ton cul”, and the boyfriend looks at me like “what the fuck English person” and then when the follow up of “comme ma bite” comes, he laughs so hard I think he’s gonna break a rib, and Nausicaa is just there with this shit eating grin and is like “I taught them that” 

1. Robin Williams making off-the-cuff jokes that are definitely not Sesame Street appropriate.

2. The slow zoom in on Elmo’s face at the end.

Someone take this away from mee🥺🤣

Person across: *stares*

Me, thinking: do they know what I am doing? No, it’s impossible.

Person: *keeps staring*

When reading fluff of your favourite ship

My ship: *in the middle of a heated argument*

Me:

My ship: *Share a single heartwarming scene*

Me:

My ship: *Don’t interact for a whole season/film*

Me:

The producers: *Trying to stop the fans from shipping it*

Me, with the rest of the fandom:

The actors: *Supporting the ship even though the producers aren’t*

Me: