Okay, so I'm the dragon. Big deal.

DO NOT DOWNLOAD TUMBLR it will install a virus on your device called tumblr

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

I have one of those Garmin watches that tracks my heart rate and all that good stuff and it’s just alerted me to the fact that I’ve had a “stressful period” for the past hour and all I was doing was cooking mac and cheese

It was really good mac and cheese too, it has pancetta and crispy leeks on top 👍

fuck this. im gonna drive my chevy to the levee

by talos this cant be happening

well at least them good old boys are staying sober

what the fuck

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

Sorry for spending so long in the character creator it will happen again

I love that thing when people get a little bit tongue-tied and garble what they’re trying to say so they make a little “blegh” 👅 noise and start over. verbal reset button. hitting the top of the tv to unscramble the signal

reblog so your followers won’t forget to drink water

Everything used to be 20 dollars and now that I finally have 20 dollars everything is now 200 dollars