"and then they fuck about it" is to Hollanov headcanons what "stop" was to telegrams
macklin celebrini has autism
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Claire Keane
Today's Document
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
The Stonewall Inn

oozey mess
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shark vs the universe
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cherry valley forever

roma★

Andulka

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@shanehollandermpreg
"and then they fuck about it" is to Hollanov headcanons what "stop" was to telegrams

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i find it so funny how we collectively as a fandom have resorted to 'and shane is out of the house doing a commercial' as the one all-encompassing excuse for any post-TLG headcanon where they have to not be in the same place for plot reasons, because it's an actual mental gymnastic to conjure up any other circumstances where they would ever willingly be apart once married.
Whoever invented the flight attendant call button is a genius.
All Ilya has to do is press the little button above his seat and in a matter of seconds a beautiful man will come stand in front of Ilya and ask what he can do for him. A beautiful man with beautiful freckles and shining brown eyes and biceps that had flexed tantalizingly when he'd helped an older woman with her overhead luggage during boarding. And not Ilya, no. He'll ask what he can do for Mr. Rozanov.
It's honestly almost too much. (Almost.)
The first couple of calls had seemed innocent enough, and the flight attendant ("SHANE," his name tag helpfully provides) had been the picture of customer service as he arrived at Ilya's seat with a pasted-on pleasant smile and confidently strode up and down the aisle to bring him a hot towel, a snack, an extra blanket, and always "if there's anything else I can do, sir, please let me know." Ilya had never appreciated the phrase "hate to see them go, love to watch them leave" more.
By the fifth call in the space of an hour, Shane seems to be getting suspicious. His smile has taken on a wry edge as he approaches Ilya's seat, but Ilya maintains perfect innocence as he asks Shane if he can close his window shade.
Shane stops just short of rolling his eyes. "Mr. Rozanov, I have a feeling you're more than capable of closing a window shade on your own."
Ilya shrugs, eyes wide in put-upon bewilderment. "It's stuck! I cannot budge it."
Shane sighs as he braces one hand on Ilya's armrest leans across him to pull the shade down (easily, of course). Ilya tries not to be too obvious as he breathes Shane in, reveling in having him so close, but Shane must sense it anyway because he freezes as he starts to pull away, looking back at Ilya warily as if he's not quite sure what his game is.
"Ah, my hero," Ilya praises softly. "I knew you could do it."
Ilya watches Shane swallow hard before he straightens up. "Anything else I can do for you, Mr. Rozanov?" he asks, a slight waver in his voice.
"Not right now, thank you, Shane. But I'll let you know next time I need you." Ilya points to the button above his head and winks, smiling at the way it makes Shane flush before he hurries away.
Ilya decides not to press the button for over an hour after that, just to see, and the way it makes Shane slowly grow more and more antsy is simply delicious. Ilya can tell he's itching for Ilya's next call, nervously shifting his eyes over to Ilya as he assists other passengers.
After about forty-five minutes, Ilya is playing a game on his phone when he senses Shane next to him and looks up, where he's nervously biting his lip. "Mr. Rozanov, I just wanted to let you know that we'll be starting beverage service shortly. I'll be busy with the cart for a while, so if there's anything you might need..."
He's so beautifully nervous. He's being so wonderfully good. Ilya rewards him with an honest smile, one that seems to put Shane at ease. "Thank you, Shane. I will be fine."
Shane breathes out, returning Ilya's smile. "Ok, cool. I'll, uh, check on you later, ok?"
"Ok. Thank you."
When Shane comes with the beverage cart, he asks for Shane's number. He's never seen anyone flush more prettily as he writes it down on an airline cocktail napkin and signs it "xx Shane."
~~
thank you @hutsonwoolyums for the inspo! 😘😘
yes shane not realising people are flirting with him but also shane not realising that HE is flirting with men he finds attractive shane who naturally flutters his big brown sparkly eyes more often whenever hes talking to a big strong handsome man shane who automatically tilts his head slightly down so his gaze is directed upwards shane whose voice turns soft and buttery while he’s delivering smooth jabs and quick compliments shane whose mouth quips into a glint of teeth and scratches the back of his neck so his bicep strains against the cuff of his t shirt shane who says ‘yeah you’d like that?’ without thinking and hums round and airy ‘mhmm’ in acknowledgement shane insisting ‘i was NOT flirting with him.’ when ilya brings it up later and ilya shrugs and says ‘you cannot help it…you’re super gay…i don’t mind, im the only one that makes you nervous’ and grins wickedly while shane blushes and makes a sound in the back of his throat as ilya descends upon him

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at the cottage shane comes up to Ilya so much with some sort of bug or critter in his closed fist that ilya is constantly on alert when shane comes near him with a closed hand. he’s like “shane what do you have do you have a bug get away from me shane shane!!!” and shane is laughing and coming closer holding his closed hand out like “babe its fine just look.” and ilya is like “shane i am so fucking serious right now.” and shane is trying not to double over in laughter because he literally has nothing in his hand.
Yuna: Congratulations. The two of you have just won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics.
Shane:
Ilya:
Shane: Who won gold?
#he's locked in HEATED RIVALRY | 2025-
i swear the most glaring evidence of fake cool ilya being the biggest loser alive is him dressed up, fully ready to go be slutty in a club with probably the hottest woman alive - who he used to regularly hook up with - and while she's getting ready he sits in the dark moodily like a dramatic supervillain watching a documentary about his situationships cottage
I’m going to say something uncouth about that Heated Rivalry actor

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The Montreal Metros, otherwise known as Shane Hollander and The Other Pointless Cunts
💪 💦
lowkey my david and yuna hollander parenting thesis
the whole boston team knowing about montreal jane and they think that ilya rozanov who can pull any girl he wants must have found a real baddie the way he keeps coming back for more and then hard cut to shane hollander on a friday night drinking tea and reading the same hockey book for the fourth time who when ilya texts him asking what are you wearing? texts back my new organic cotton pj set and ilya texts back i'm so hard tell me more
"somewhere in the future ilya wakes up one day and randomly decides to get a buzzcut and then their kids can't stop touching his head cause it feels soft"
"meanwhile shane going through the 5 stages of grief over his curls"
another doodle, paired with something i tweeted last month <3

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hollanov at their kid’s autism assesment and the doctor says that autism can be genetic and asks if anyone in the family has autism and shane says no at the same time as ilya says yes
i finally drew the boys.. lol i spent hours deciding on the text..