Shame, Innit?

TOO FUCKIN’ phenomenal to NOT reblog!!!!

me, showing off my university degree: that’s right everyone, i paid multiple dollars to the government in order to attain sporadic sprinklings of knowledge that i forgot two months after each class ended

Too real

i sleep nude because if someone ever breaks into my house they gotta fight me while im naked and i dare you to try and swing on a nigga when his dick is out

You are grade A guarenteed to get yourself hurt with this mindset? You think I’m afraid to grab a dick and yank it, bruh? You think I won’t get my hands dirty on your dick in order to end you? You got the wrong one, man—and your ass better hope I don’t have a knife.

didn’t think it could get any better, yet here we are

That last story is EXACTLY how Scotland stopped the Roman Empire from invading.

what if magic was real but it was treated the way music is now with different genres and like “oh youre still into conjuring? thats cool I guess. recently ive been getting into third-wave post-necromancy, it’s some pretty heavy stuff”

“what do you mean you’ve never learned FIREBALL, it’s a CLASSIC” “idk I’m not really into evocations.” “how can you not be into ANY evocations?” “well, it’s kind of dad magic, isn’t it?”

This is great and I love it, Alexa cast Rainbow Rocket.

Why do I feel this encapsulates so many fans theories about Loki...?

I love that it takes the time to specify that his attack of choice was a flying kick

The hero the world needs

Glaswegians will always fly kick someone I swear. Good on him.

Something else I love about this is that they’re calling the rapist a “beast” because that is an appropriate word to use for someone who would do something that horrible instead of showing him any form of sympathy or humanizing him

Glasgow represent

we should make fun of americans more. why dont their shops include tax in the price tag. like how much does this item cost? its a surprise :)

Honestly, tea. I’ve lived here my whole life and I have never once known what my total is gonna be at the register. Total fucking mystery.

im an ex-american living in new zealand for the past two years and it still never fails to blow my mind that i can take a $2 coin, walk up to a counter with two $1 items, and perform the expected transaction

The other day I went to an ice cream shop and the total on the board for the double scoop cone I wanted was 7 bucks. So I head to the register, nervously clutching my ten dollar bill, the only money I have on me, hoping it’ll only be like 7.60 with tax or something, and the cashier says “seven dollars”. And I just. Looked at her with what must have been the face a dog makes when someone throws the ball but doesn’t actually throw it? Tax was included in the listings on the board. And I just stammered “seven? Like. Seven even?” And walked out the door, dazed, with my logically priced ice cream

This is literally describing the plot of Kenny in Southpark, and I’m shocked you don’t realise that.

“Whats your safe word?”

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

Lol i need to be his friend

The sound he makes when he picks him up 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Various theatrical and home video release posters for Lilo & Stitch (2002).

Why is Jasmine giving “Fuck Me” eyes?!

#i get how people got down on the prequels like ‘boo tax embargoes’ and ‘booo romance dialogue’#but tbh i was not bothered by that and was just happy there were lightsabers#HOWEVER#my deal breaker turned out to be yoda#as military general but most importantly as physical combatant where his physical prowess was emphasised#(eg zipping about like a flying squirrel fighting dooku like it was supposed to be speedy yoda at his peak or whatever)#when basically his whole point in the OT is to say ‘i literally can’t use my legs and have to be carried while i train you’#‘but I’m still 800 times the jedi you are and can lift this entire ship like it’s nbd’#because being powerful is not (like luke originally thinks) about being physically stronger#like showing up in a swamp looking for some huge jedi master who’ll teach him how to Fight Gud and Use a Laser Sword#and instead he gets this frog who gets in a slap fight with his droid#and scoffs openly at the idea of a ‘great warrior’ - scoffs at the idea that wars would make one great#scoffs at the idea that luke’s limitations as a student is merely the strength in his arms#when actually how strong how fast how skilled you are physically is not what strength is for a jedi#yoda is extremely physically limited - he literally walks with a cane - and he can cause an entire x-wing to rise into the air on command#without even so much as a rise in heart rate#the force isn’t being good with laser swords - controlling people - lifting rocks!#it’s not about what your body can do! LUMINOUS BEINGS ARE WE! NOT THIS CRUDE MATTER!#THERE IS NO SPOON!!#i feel like yoda being not huge not able-bodied and not heroic and martial in the form luke expects elevates the whole thing#from cowboys and aliens into real marrow-deep fable territory#luke thinks he wants a straight line towards physical achievement as shown to him by aragorn with a laser or something#what he gets is feste the clown from 12th night#take the fool away!#the only one smart enough to realise the best and only possible reaction to SKYWALKER NONSENSE is laughter

Side note that might derail the thought process: I always thought Yoda’s movement in the prequels was simply due to his ability with the Force. Who’s to say that he was still as physically weak, but uses the force to move the way he does? Just a thought.

I’m calling spoofing on that account 😂😅

I screamed. Im ugly laughing. I sound like a grandfather

I’m never prepared….I can’t

Bruh lmfaoooooo