For eternity and beyond

You are welcome anons and everyone that sent me rape and death threats

I didn't want it to come to this, but I think it's time to call it quits. Or I hope so

I have to be honest. I really hate it here.

I think we all know why but, I do. I really do.

Everytime I open this site i hear the voices calling me that same name.

I can't keep it up, and I feel so much pain

It's just ever since that day my life has been, to shit.

Really to the shit.

And I'm not enjoying my life

I miss the days where i was just small creator with a cringy yume and drawing doodles in my notebook during class.

And if I could tsotp myself from posting any of it, I would. I hate where i am at I hate what I've become

And now I'm getting sent harassment

When I started Tumblr I thought of that little girl who wanted to make people smile, even at her own expense. Make people laugh and smile. I never wanted to anger, or upset, or hurt.

It was never my intention, and for that I'm sorry to everyone I've failed.

Suppose I should explain myself about why I even started tumblr

To heal

When i started Tumblr I'd left an abusive environment. Too bad I'm going right back.

When I left originally, I was tired. And I needed an outlet. And that's what cs is to me, an outlet. To release my trauma. And I know I've hurt people with it, I'm sorry.

Shadowlily was a symbol of my healing. But now it's a symbol of how desperate I am for attention and recognition. I create with spite. Not with love but with the need to be a star and loved

So yeah I'm an attention seeker. What can i say.

My au was made to help me with cptsd and all my other disorders. But it's stopped working so now I'm defenseless. And it's why I've been such a mess

And these anons were the final straw. I tell people not to bully me, not to harass me. Not to be harsh. Because I'm so mentally ill it will kill me. And if it doesn't it will leave permanent trauma and affects. I wish people understood

The insult dicksucker has ruined my life. And since that day it's been used against me anh chance. I'm so tored

Shadowlily has my heart. And thank you to everyone who supported and loved my work. And got inspired by it. But I don't think shadowlily and I are welcome anymore.

I don't FEEL welcome. I feel judged. I feel hated. My self consciousness will forever haunt me so long I'm on this app. And I was right, so you win anons. I'm out of here

I'll think abt deleting posts. But I do feel pained about it. And all of this.

If I ever come back it'll be a new user (moots will know) and it will NOT be Cs related. Because this Fandom doesn't want me in it and I understand and will take a step back

I however will still keep my rp accounts, I'll think about it. I love rping and I'll see

Finally I love you All Thank you really for everything

The support was legendary and what kept me going but it's time to move on

Idk what I'll do after this, maybe kms (trying not to) maybe move on. But just know I love you all

For eternity and beyond