Sergeant Nerd Plays

Long time, no battle reports. Sadly, there’s been a bit of a global pandemic going around and being a responsible member of the community, I’ve been avoiding big gatherings that might spread the plague. However, your old sarge has been vaccinated, so with the help of likewise protected people, I was able to get a game in. This time, I was able to bring my ork army. Not just orks, but a whole stompa!

The Stompmost

Game Setup:

The idea was that it was going to be a more casual game where we would bring a bunch of models, play on on oversized board, and just kinda slam minis together with a bit of objective holding as a treat.

I was, of course, playing orks, and bringing 2000 points, plus the stompa. My partner was playing Alpha Legion, and bringing 1000 points. On the other side, we had one person bringing 2000 points of Crimson Fists (Hi Ryolnir!) and another person bringing 1000 points of Grey Knights (Hi, Zuul!) Thanks to Ryolnir for providing several of the pictures used in this batrep.

I brought Ghaz, a warboss on warbike, a weirdboy, five meganobz trukkboyz, a trukk (for carting around said trukkboyz), two mobs of boyz (11 and 14 models in each), a dakka jet, five warbikers, and one of each of the non-HQ buggies, plus an extra scrapjet. Except I’m an idiot and forgot one scrapjet and the dragsta, so I had to borrow a scrapjet from the game club’s cabinet, and a wartrike which stood in for the dragsta. I played as Evil Sunz, though several of the units (the bikeboss and the trukk) were Death Skulls and the dakkajet was painted up as Bad Moonz. I know, I’m terrible, but the rest of my army was wysiwyg.

My Narrative:

Warboss Scragkill Gudluk revved his warbike impatiently. Somewhere there was a scrap, and he was anxious to get to it. However, he’d been separated from his mob. And if that wasn’t bad enough, da Boss had shown up, along with a bunch of red-painted gits.

Ghazghkul Mag Uruk Thraka, prophet of da Waaagh, was giving orders. “Awright, we needs t’get into dis fight quick, so I want you an’ yer other evil sunz t’haul yer guts like they was on fire, you got it?”

“Er, beggin’ yer pardon, but I ain’t no Sunz. I’m Death Skulls!” Scragkill slapped the side of his blue bike proudly.

Ghazghkull responded by smacking him on the side of the head so hard he fell off of the bike and skidded several yards.

When Scrag managed to hobble up and lean unsteadily against the side of the bike, Ghaz asked “What was dat?”

“Er, da red ones go fasta?” Scrag said uncertainly.

“Dat’s what I likes t’hear. Now, we’ll send in da big lad first.” Ghaz craned his neck to look up at the stompa, with its grot rigger crew scrabbling atop getting it ready for waaagh. “I gots a good feelin’ about dis.”

Da Waaagh approaches!

Our deployment zone was in one quarter of the table, minus a nine inch radius from the center. I pushed the stompa up as far as I could. Its only real hope was to get to the astraeus before it lost too many wounds. Most of the Alpha Legion units were in Deep Strike, ready to move in at a moment’s notice.

The Emperor Protects! As does this wall! [Credit: Ryolnir]

The knights player put his entire army into deep strike. The fists player, on the other hand was deployed a bit more defensively than my orks. If only I'd been so smart. He ended up going first, and he immediately popped the stompa. Its work done, the astraeus returned with full honors to its cabinet, where it would do me no further harm, since it was obviously going to be a really short game if it had stayed on the table.

However, this caused some follow-on effects for both of us. Because he'd hidden his stuff, he didn't have angle with a lot of his stuff turn one. On the other hand, I couldn't get anything into charge range that turn, and most of my shooting couldn't target his stuff either. I managed to take out an assault intercessor squad, but that was pretty much it. My partner's maulerfiend was stuck in the back of a bad traffic jam with my warbikers. This meant turn one was spent mostly untangling this while his units got into firing position.

He did have a good firing line on one of my units: The trukk I'd hidden to the side of the stompa, sadly only mostly out of line of sight. It was popped, and I lost one of my trukkboy meganobz on the disembark.

Da Real Treasure Was the Dakka We Found Along Da Way. [Credit: Ryolnir]

I was able to get a couple of buggies into line of sight with his melee infantry, however, and I was able to take out one unit of assault intercessors with my snazzwagon and boostablasta. Meanwhile, my two deffdreads were trundling forward to get their claws on something tasty. At the far side of the board you can see my meganobz trying to get into cover until they could make their way to a scrap.

Bullets! My only weakness!  [Credit: Ryolnir]

The grey knights teleported in, taking the fight to me at the midpoint on the board. Meanwhile, the crimson fists player moved his units forward out of hiding and began taking things down. The buggies folded quickly under some shooting from his speeder and aggressors.

On the other side of the board, the meganobz wilted under the knights' shooting and smites. Ghaz lost four wounds to the psychic onslaught.

Yo yo yo! It’s Grandmaster Dreadknight, and I’m here to rap about how the Emperor saves, novitiates!

However, now it was time for waaaagh! A bit of shooting took out a few of the vanvets, and then the deff dreads ran up and gave the last three a nice hug, turning them into crimson smears.

Where did da humies go, George?

Ghaz, the bikeboss, and the bikers all charged in at the dreadknights. The weirdboy cast fists of gork on the bikeboss, making him right killy.

Hit ‘im in da face! Den hit ‘im in da face harder!

It turns out that seven killa klaw attacks at S14, with extra attacks for each of the originals that doesn't do damage, is a lot. The grandmaster was a deadknight instead of a dreadknight. That robbed the bikers of any attacks, since he was their charge target. But fortunately, Ghaz got full attacks on the other dreadnight. ...Of which two went through, and were both saved against. Some days you get the waaagh, some days the waaagh gets you.

On their turn, the grey knights smote the crap out of the bikeboss and the warbikers, getting them mostly dead and finishing them off in the shooting and fight phases. Ghaz ended up hanging on with a single wound.

Last Ghazp

The Crimson Fist player wasn't idle during this time. He took out the dakkajet with some long distance shooting, then went ahead and removed the two deff dreads, one scrapjet, my squigbuggy, and several boyz. That left me with a grand total of one scrapjet, twenty-odd boyz in two squads, my weirdboy, and Ghaz holding on by a single wound when my third turn came up.

Orks don’t panic. The sweating and twitching is just anticipation of a good waaagh, is all. No one is fleeing, we’re just looking for a better scrap, is all.  [Credit: Ryolnir]

But that was when my allies, the alpha legion, showed up! So secretly, in fact, that no photographic evidence for their arrival can be found. Yeah, none of my pictures from that part of the game came out well. Ultimately, his obliterators and terminators managed to take out the crimson first redemptor. My weirdboy managed to kill the grey knights chaplain, but the surviving justicar of his strike squad was able to deal a fatal wound to Ghaz, finally toppling the Prophet of the Waaagh.

We basically called it there. The grey knights player had to go, so the crimson fist player did his last turn of shooting to see if we'd have even stood a chance. The surviving scrapjet took a surprisingly long time to die, given it started the round with only five wounds left. But when it died, it exploded, and thanks to the careen stratagem, it was able to leave its mark.

Enjoy your mortal wounds, suckers!

Ultimately, it's a little hard for me to analyze the battle too fully. The abortive superheavy duel skewed deployment pretty heavily. It probably saved me a bit of shooting in the first round, but it also meant that I wasn't able to any shooting off my first turn either. Going second definitely hurt me, since it meant the trukkboyz meganobz weren't able to get their full value (though they absorbed a lot of firepower before they died, which probably saved some other units). The maulerfiend never got past the traffic jam until turn three, and the other units he had were too far back to be able to shoot or get into melee.

That left me pretty much high and dry turn two, looking down the barrel at 3000 points without any backup. By the time he popped in on our turn three, I was down to about 650 points, 300 of which belonged to one-wound Ghaz. Even if he’d popped off, it’s unlikely we would have been able to claw our way back out of that deficit. If we’d gone first, waiting until turn three wouldn’t have hurt quite as bad, but as it was, that was two full rounds where I was effectively 1000 points behind the enemy.

In the future, I’ll probably ask that my partners not go quite that crazy on deep strike shenanigans, or at least come in a bit sooner.

All that being said, I had a ton of fun, and it was great finally getting my boyz on the table. I did learn a lot about pitfalls in setting up, how variable some of my units can be, and how to move things fast. I also learned some organization issues, and I'll know how to handle them better. In the future, rather than showing with a stack of double-sided buttscribe sheets, I'll have them singlesided in a binder, so I can flip through them quickly and know where things are.

On the ruined battlefield, the shattered armor of the once-mighty stompa were scattered and blasted. The remains of orks and traitor marines decorated the landscape. The adeptus astartes were the only ones who survived to recover their dead.

Week 6 brings us two new thrilling battles on the verdant fields of Herosand V!

Game Setup:

As with last week's battle, we're at 600 points, letting me field the following lads:

Our Heroes

We have Captain Incusator in Grav Armor. Three squads of five intercessors each, including the capable Sergeant Caminus. Reginald is our stalwart Dreadnought. Finally, there's Lieutenant Marculus, wielding a master-crafted stalker bolt rifle. Two CP have been spent to make Incusator a Chapter Master.

The one change this week was that we were now doing Maelstrom of War missions with tactical objectives.

The mission type was Cleanse and Capture.

My Narrative:

Having gently corrected the Imperial Guard and defeated the metal scourge of the Necrons, Chapter Master Incusator was now ready to continue his campaign. However, with the sheer number of Imperial Forces, he was beginning to wonder if the glory of this war might not be slightly diluted. He knew that the Iron Council would be upset if Medusa did not receive sufficient honor in this most noble fight for the Imperium! Little did he know how he would be tested in the battles to come.

Match 1:

Blood Angels

Their Forces:

Sanguinary Priest, Chaplain, Death Company with Jet Packs, Primaris Ancient, two squads of Intercessors, and one of Scouts.

quote:

"Sir!" Lieutenant Marculus said, snapping to attention. "The envoys from the Blood Angels are here." "Ah, splendid," Chapter Master Incusator said. "Send them in, lad. It will be nice to speak to someone reasonable for once." A furious man in red armor strode into the tent. "What's this about you badmouthing our successors?" he demanded. "I beg your pardon?" Incusator's brows knit up in confusion. "You should! Going around saying that the Flesh Tearers are weak, you should be ashamed of yourself!" "Ah!" Comprehension began to dawn. "I think you misunderstand." "Beep boop, yes," said Reginald from inside the dreadnought. "It is the flesh that is weak. The Blood Angels are made of flesh. Ipso beep facto, the Blood Angels are weak."

”Reginald! Stop helping!” "That insult won't stand! The cheek of it all!" The man pulled off his power armor's glove and slapped it across Incusator's face. "I challenge you and your tin soldiers to combat!"

But do they sparkle?

We had some fairly basic terrain. A nice set of ruins, some craters, and a nice block in the middle. He set his intercessors and ancient in the crater on his side of the map, and placed the scouts in the middle block.

Look! Up in the sky!

Meanwhile, his HQs and his death company were set up in the sky for deep strike fun later on.

I kept my units fairly close together, with one off to the side to head for the ruins. My memory of the tactical objectives is a little fuzzy at this point, but I know two were to grab the objectives closest to me, so that worked out nicely.

The first turn was basically just some shooting around. I got a goodly number of his intercessors and all of his scouts, scoring first blood. Since a goodly portion of his army was in deep strike, he couldn't quite match me for volume of fire, and only did a little bit of damage to my troops.

Falcon in the Dive

He brought his death company and chaplain out of deep strike behind me, and then put the sanguinary priest down where he could go for my dreadnought. The chaplains and death company charged one of my intercessor squads, but then caught a heroic intervention from the Chapter Master. They took out the intercessors, but they didn't do so well against the chapter master. Imperium's Sword is a really good way to punish backline charges. Then he charged my dreadnought with the sanguinary priest.

Oh, right in the hubris!

Sadly, the charge didn't go off. This left him open to take the full ride of my dread's shooting followed by a counter charge on my turn, giving me another point for taking his warlord. In desperation, he charged my dread with his remaining intercessor and the ancient.

Never charge a dreadnought who's been eating garlic.

Overwatch was not kind.

I had also charged my remaining intercessor squad into the melee in the crater.

Fancy a scrap, lads?

The intercessors were largely killed in the fighting, but between them and the chapter master, the chaplain and death company were finally defeated, leading to victory!

I think the heavy reliance on deep strike helped me out a lot here. If he hadn't had so much of his army off the board to start with, I probably wouldn't have been able to punish him so heavily to start things off. That said, I also got really lucky on some key rolls. My first round of shooting went really well, and then his failed charge with his sanguinary priest allowed me to pour more shooting out before getting into melee.

Match 2:

Orks

Their Forces:

Weirdboy, 12 Burnas, 29 Slugga/Choppa Boyz with boss nob, 10 Shoota Boyz, three deff koptas, with Goff kultur.

quote:

"Well, looks like the blood is also weak!" Chapter Master Incusator said. "Hmm. Seems a bit forced, to be honest," said Sergeant Caminus. "Oh, do you really think so?" "Just a bit. The basic wordplay is sound, though. Just needs a little workshopping." "Thank you, sergeant." Incusator frowned. "I say, do you hear something?" There was a rumbling, and then a ramshackle vehicle and some greenskinned bodies appeared over the horizon. "Orks, sir," Sergeant Caminus said, unnecessarily. "We'll show them! After all, the flesh is weak!" the chapter master shouted. "Da flesh is Waaaagh!" came the response from the orks.

Green Tide of Flesh

He put the deffkoptas into deep strike, then put as much of his forces behind cover as possible.

Catch a Ride!

The burna boyz were embarked quite literally onto the trukk. I felt this was the most immediate threat, since he was almost certain to take advantage of the open top of the trukk to torch me with the burnas. I decided I didn't really like that, so poured a decent amount of firepower into the trukk.

"Oi, where'd da trukk go?"

The trukk went kerblooey, and also took out a good portion of his burnas in the process. Some stalker bolt fire took out a few more, as well as much of the shoota squad.

Greenskins Defiant

By the end of my turn, the burnas and the shootas were gone, and I managed to take out a few of the slugga/choppa boyz. Once his turn came up, he used his weirdboy to Da Jump his main squad behind my troops.

"No one expects da orkish inquisition!"

This was his main strategy. I knew it was coming, but sometimes you have to deal with threats one at a time. However, luck was with me again.

He rolled his charge, needing a nine. A five and a three. Thanks to 'Ere We Go, he had the ability to reroll one or either of the dice. He chose the three. And rolled... another three. This is the drawback to playing Goffs as orks. They deal serious damage in a fight once they get into melee, but they have trouble getting there. With Evil Sunz, he would have made it.

He now had the biggest part of his force stuck behind me as my turn came up. I turned basically all of my firepower on them, and then charged in with the chapter master and the dreadnought.

Sad Waaagh Noises

With only his weirdboy left on the table and his deffkoptas still in deepstrike, we called it there.

He was really unlucky in that my army was mostly tuned for anti-horde. He was also starved for CP by the lack of a battalion. What CP he had he was saving up to use Unstoppable Green Tide to bounce his squad back to full models, but that required him to have at least one boy alive at the end of my turn, which just didn't happen. We talked a bit about how the game had gone, and he'll retune his list for the next games. I look forward to facing him again when he's made those changes.

quote:

Incusator sat among the wreckage of the orkish conveyance reading a data slate. "Great scott!" "Is something the matter, sir?" asked Lieutenant Marculus. "Quite the opposite! We're getting reinforcements. "More troops?" the young man asked. "More iron, lad, more iron. For after all..." "Yes sir. Flesh sir. Weak sir." "Your delivery needs some work, but you've got the gist of it, and that's what matters," Incusator said. "And we'll have a chance to show it soon!"

Another weekend, another thrilling battle report from Herosand V!

Game Setup:

We've reached 600 points! Normal detachment rules now apply, so I've expanded to create a battalion:

Our Heroes

We have Captain Incusator in Grav Armor. I've increased our intercessor count up to 15 for three squads. You are all of course familiar with Reginald, our Dreadnought. Finally, we've added Lieutenant Marculus, wielding a master-crafted stalker bolt rifle. Since I now have eight CP to play with, I've spent two to make Incusator a Chapter Master.

The mission type was Secure and Control.

Match 1:

Imperial Guard

Their Forces:

Company Commander, Tank Commander, 3x Infantry Squads, Astropath, Bulgryns, and Heavy Weapons Squad with Mortars

My Narrative:

After word reached back to Medusa of the difficulties the Iron Hands had faced, they were bolstered with reinforcements, with the third and sixth squad filling in. Captain Incusator was given an updated list of the latest in tactics and strategy and promoted to Chapter Master. Now suitably fortified, it was time to march across Herosand V and take back the planet from the vile forces of... Well, pretty much everyone else. There had been a lot of confusion and fog of war, and now even Imperium forces were fighting each other.

Soon, their mettle and metal would both be tested.

quote:

"It's good to have you aboard, Lieutenant," Chapter Master Incusator said, patting the young man on the shoulder. Marculus stumbled forward, nearly losing his footing. "Erm, yes sir," he said. Then he flinched and nearly fell again as an explosion shook the earth beneath his feet. "What in Terra's name was that?" he said, his voice cracking. "Oh, it seems the Astra Militarum are getting ideas again. No worries. The Medusan Academy might have taught you a lot, but one thing they didn't teach you: The flesh is weak!" "But... but they did teach me. That was in Tactics 101, Iron Hands Doctrine, and Advanced Ways in Which the Flesh is Weak. It was on every test!" But the chapter master was already walking away, ready to give those pesky guardsmen a pop quiz!

Tanks for the Memories

I got to pick the deployment, and I picked spearhead. My idea was that I didn't have much anti-armor and I'd need to get the dreadnought and chapter master up where they could open the tank like a can opener. Armor is honestly my biggest weakness right now, and I'll probably struggle with it until I get to 800 points at the earliest. We each had an objective in our backline. Mine I had in some nice convenient ruins that partly blocked line of sight. I parked a group of intercessors on it (just out of sight to the right) and deployed the rest of my forces with an eye to moving them up the board. He parked his mortars behind a magic box and set of the rest of his gunline.

Ignore the strip of tape. Previous rounds were 2'x4'. We're now playing on 3'x4' sections of table to accommodate our larger armies.

I seem to remember there being guardsmen here.

Two rounds of shooting saw all of his troops gone. By this point, though, my dread was down to about half health and I was starting to realize that getting all the way down to the other end of the field was easier said than done. However, I also realized that I had first blood. So long as I could keep control of my objective, and not let him kill my warlord, I'd win on points at the end of the game. If the tournament was tracking how many points people got, I might have considered keeping up the fight, but as it was, only victory mattered. I had a near-guaranteed shot, so long as I could get my army into cover and out of range of most of his guns.

"Why is the dreadnought ticking?"

The bullgryns held me in combat just long enough to help him get another round of shooting. My dreadnought died finally went down to the tank commander's weapons. I probably should have used Vengeance of the Machine Spirit to give him one more round of damage on the enemy. I didn't get my stratagem cards out, and I ended up with four CP left at the end of the game unspent because I kept forgetting what I could do, aside from Duty Eternal to buff my dread for a phase.

However, by this point, I had gotten the Tank Commander down to just a few wounds left, so its movement wasn't up to chasing me all the way down the board. It was now time to make the march back to my objective. You can see where I have my intercessors parked in a cozy little hut with the objective.

Snug as a Bug in a Rug

I was down to four intercessors in three squads, my lieutenant, and my captain left. I was about to have my army either in cover or behind boxes. So long as he didn't take out my captain by the end of the game, I was going to be a point ahead. We were starting up round six. I would have at most two more rounds to survive his mortar fire.

Then one of my intercessors managed an extremely lucky shot and took out his tank commander. He rolled a six on the explosion, and it also took out his astropath and hurt his company commander. At that point, he conceded the game and we shook hands.

I'm starting to learn to think a bit more tactically. At the start, I felt my best route to victory lay in getting into melee with the tank commander. But once I realized I had the advantage on points, I went for the surer path.

I will say that the Chapter Master was pretty clutch. Being able to reroll all hits was a lifesaver at points. The rerolling of 1s on wound rolls was helpful too, though not quite as clutch.

I also need to remember to use the auxiliary grenade launchers. Frak grenades are better against armor than stalker bolt rifles. When I can, I need to remember that I have them.

Match 2:

Necrons

Their Forces:

Overlord, Necron Warriors, Flayed Ones, Lychguard

quote:

"What did I tell you, Lieutenant?" the Chapter Master said. "Hardly broke a sweat." The lieutenant looked at the repairs on Reginald, who was booping and beeping in a rather sad way, and then insisting that he was not actually sad, as robots do not have emotions. "Er. Yes sir. Though, the tank seemed a bit of a problem." "Bah. Easily dispatched with a little stalker bolt fire. After all, Marculus, flesh inside of a tin can is still nothing more than flesh! Right, Sergeant?" "Yes sir. Very good, sir. Almost self aware," said Caminus. "Yes, rather, I--Wait." The Chapter Master started to turn to the sergeant when a green flash flew past his head. Necrons surged over the hill in closed silent ranks, completely refusing to provide witty banter for the battle report. The fiends!

Iron and Steel

My opponent chose the deployment zone. He put his flayed ones into deep strike, hid his warriors behind some LOS-blocking terrain, and kept his overlord with his lychguard. He went first, and he started moving his lychguard and overlord on the far side of the field. He moved his warriors forward, putting as many as possible on top of the building in front of them. They managed to take out an intercessor, but with most of them still behind cover, he wasn't able to do much.

My dread went and took out eleven of his 12-necron squad. I was also able to take out all but one of his lychguard with stalker bolt fire. The remaining warrior in the squad skedaddled in the morale round. The other warrior squad would stay in cover for the rest of the game, around his objective.

Warriors from the Dark

On his next turn, he brought his flayed ones out of deep strike. And here I made a mistake that screwed over my opponent. I used Auspex Scan and played it on my dreadnought, who promptly took out the entire unit. I missed that Auspex Scan can only affect infantry. It likely didn't change much, but it would have at least kept the gaming going another turn or so, depending on what he ended up charging. I brought it up to him after the game, and he was fairly cool about it. We're both learning the rules of the game. I'll remember next time.

His lychguard regenerated two models, and he used a special ability to move his warlord and the lychguard into my backline, charging me. The lychguard made it into combat and took out all but one of the intercessors in that squad. I removed all of the models near his lychguard to get out of melee range. We both forgot about the consolidate part of the fight phase, so the lychguard ended up getting shot up when my turn came.

Hmm...

And now he only had his remaining warriors behind cover, and his warlord.

Hmm!

With his warlord dispatched, he conceded and we called it.

I feel pretty bad about the rules I forgot here. I need to read my stratagems more clearly so that I don't make errors, especially not ones that give me such an advantage as forgetting the Auspex Scan limitation. I also keep forgetting the pile in/fight/consolidate order. In this case, we both forgot, but if he'd remembered, removing the models as I did would have given me no benefit (especially since I took out my sergeant to try and build space).

Still, I'm looking up less than I was last week, and far less than the week before. I'm starting to get better at grasping the fundamentals. I just need to get the details of my army down.

quote:

"Ha!" said the chapter master. "Xenos steel can't stand up to good Imperial Iron!" "Our armor is actually made of plasteel and ceramite," said Marculus helpfully. "I was being poetic!" Incusator snapped. "Can't a man have a moment of quiet glory?" "Ah, um, sorry, sir," the lieutenant said. "Oh, go drill the men." Incusator turned and brooded as he looked to the horizon. Soon, he thought, they would be marching across it, bringing the glory of Medusa to all before them. He was, in fact, turned around and facing the way they'd come. But in a more poetic sense, his point still stood. What adventures await them?

As promised, my battle report from yesterday:

Game Setup:

Just like last week, we're at the 400 point level. Everyone counts as battleforged and gets 3 CP regardless of their actual makeup. I'm playing with a squad of eight intercessors, a grav captain, and a redemptor dreadnought.

Game type was The Relic.

My Narrative:

Captain Incusator has won several key battles since he arrived on Herosand V. However, a clash with representatives from the Space Wolves contingent has left him stinging.

Hoping to reverse this turn of fortune, he marches out seeking glory!

Match 1:

Adeptus Mechanicus

Their Forces:

Skitarii Rangers, Sicarian Infiltrators, Onager Dunecrawler, Kataphron Destroyers.

quote:

"This unit's sensors indicate large mass of forces, sir," said the hulking dreadnought. "Reginald, for the last time, you are a dreadnought, not a robot," Captain Incusator said, for the seventh time that morning. "Beep, sir." Reginald said, and paused. Then, "On consideration, Boop." Before the captain could respond any further, there was a massive explosion not thirty feet from them. "The flesh is weak!" cried out a group of red-robed figures cresting the hill. "I say! That's our line!" the captain said indignantly.

The wrath of Mars falls on the boys of iron!

Unfortunately, I forgot to get pictures earlier in the match.

I went first and moved my intercessors almost up to the relic. I fired onto his forces, but did relatively little damage, only taking out a few of his skitarii rangers. He rolled really well for his kataphron's shots, and it ended up shredding my intercessors. He deep striked some infiltrators in and took out the rest.

Here, my opponent was extremely reasonable. I thought he had said he had managed to deal a number of mortal wounds to my captain, which would have left me with no infantry, and automatically losing the match (since I would have had no unit left capable of picking up the relic). We had started to put things away when he mentioned that he had been rolling for something else entirely. He agreed to re-set-up. This allowed me to take out his infiltrators with a decent round of shooting and charging.

Battered, but not defeated!

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do much to the rest of his army, and my captain was down to two wounds left. Kataphrons are ridiculously tough. He unleashed the rest of his army against my poor captain and dreadnought. The extra damage rangers get against vehicles hurt.

Getting a bit more defeated here...

Another round of shooting. I managed to take out one more ranger and two of the kataphrons, but it was pretty clear I wasn't going to be surviving the next round. I hadn't even touched the dunecrawler, and I had four wounds left between my two models.

I probably should have asked for more terrain for the game. The lack of cover really hurt, and gave me few good options for moving around. I don't think I made any particularly egregious mistakes tactically. Possibly I should have focused more on his kataphrons more in the first round, but there wasn't anything I could do when he brought in the infiltrators. 40 shots into one unit is just not going to be very survivable. I perhaps could have used Auspex Scan, but with only 3 CP, I wasn't sure I wanted to blow two at once.

Match 2: Eldar

Their Forces:

One Autarch, Wraith Guards, and Black Guardians with Shuriken Cannon

quote:

Captain Incusator sat cradling his helmet in his hands. "Where did we go wrong, Caminus?" "Couldn't say, sir," the sergeant replied. "I almost wish I'd never come to this planet," the captain sighed. "Ah, cheer up, sir," the segeant said. "You know what they say: The flesh is always weakest before the dawn." "It's no use, sergeant. I'm afraid I'm just in a funk." "I know what'll put some shine on your armor," Caminus said. "I hear there's some eldar nearby..." The captain perked up. "I do like killing eldar," he said. ------- The eldar commander shouted across the valley, "Surrender, mon-keigh! You will taste defea-Ah, crap, not you again!"

The race for the relic!

I chose to move and shoot my first turn, letting his black guardians get the relic first. I moved the dread into the ruins so to get a little bit of cover. Meanwhile, his wraith guard moved down the board and began shooting, pouring shots into my dreadnought. He used Doom and Guide to increase the effectiveness of his units, taking some of my intercessors out of the fight. He would have taken out my dreadnought, but I had decided to use Duty Eternal to halve the incoming damage.

"It's over, Mon-Keighikan! I have the high ground!"

He got his Autarch up on top of the terrain block to make him a little harder to get to, while letting him use his psychic abilities freely. A smite added some more damage into my dreadnought. However, I was able to charge up and deal some serious damage to his black guardians, while my captain charged into the wraith guard and took them out.

"No! It's my barrel! You can't have it!"

He got his last two black guardians up on top with his Autarch before I shot them out. However, he was able to take out my dreadnought. Happily, Reginald did not explode and kill us all. The Autarch grabbed the relic and moved to the far side of the terrain piece to await the final confrontation.

"At him, boys! Pointy ends towards the enemy!"

My intercessors and my captain moved up on top and then charged in. He fought gloriously, but futilely, and the battle was won.

quote:

"Feeling better, sir?" asked Sergeant Caminus. "Quite so!" the captain said. "Nothing like giving the ol' one-two to some xenos scum to get the blood flowing and the coolant pumping." The sergeant frowned. "Ah, we do have an issue I must bring to your attention, sir." "What's that, Caminus?" "It's the plumbing, sir," he said regretfully. "I'm afraid it needs some repairs." "Great scott!" the captain cried. "I'll call in a servitor at once. What seems to be the issue?" "Not enough pressure in the pipes," Caminus said. "The flush is weak."

So, I went to see my folks this last week. Work doesn't want me going anywhere February-April, so I wanted to see them while I could. This delayed my battle report writing, so I'm only now getting to last week's batrep. But I got all of the pictures edited, so I can get the games from last week and this week down now.

Game Setup:

We've gone up to 400 points. I've added three intercessors to my squad, one with an auxiliary grenade launcher. The squad is now being run as having all stalker bolt rifles (which the newer lads were built with). I've also added in a mighty redemptor dreadnought!

The base was a joy to work with, and when he's worked, he's worked really well. Onslaught Gatling Cannons and Storm Bolters do some work. I don't currently have enough points for the icarus rocket pod, so it's purely decorative.

My Narrative:

The soil of Herosand V has been soaked in the blood of Xenos and Humans alike as the fighting escalates! Throughout the planet, forces clash as daily reinforcements arrive from all over the galaxy.

However, there are also clashes between imperial forces due to chaos sorcery, fog of war, accusations of heresy, and Looking At Us Funny. Today, tempers flare and egos clash!

Match 1:

Astra Militarum

Their Forces:

A whole bunch of artillery and conscripts, plus two commissars and an inquisitor.

quote:

"Ah, it's nice to finally receive some reinforcements," Captain Incusator said as he leaned against the side of their newly acquired dreadnought. "Please do not treat me as furniture. Beep boop," the dreadnought said. The captain narrowed his eyes. "Reginald, you know you're not actually a robot, right? Just placed in a life support suit?" "Does not compute," said the voice from inside the machine. The captain was going to respond when the ground exploded nearby. "Great scott! What the devil's happened!" he cried out. "I think it's the Cadians," said Sergeant Caminus. "They must have us confused with the enemy." "This is just what happens when you think with your flesh," the captain said. "Weak thought!" He strode forward to teach the impudent guardsmen a lesson.

Cadia's finest on display!

He actually forgot to bring his tank, so he had to rejigger his list to only use the infantry in his army. Lots of bodies to shoot through. This would have given me a big problem the previous week, when I had a small number of attacks to work with. But now I have some real firepower!

Forward for the Emperor!

The stone pillar next to my dreadnought was the superior objective. I made sure to put my lads next to it. I fired into the massed guard, taking out a fair number of them. However, then his shooting turn started.

The mission type was the scouring. Six objectives placed, four worth two, one worth four, and one worth one. The high-value one was actually near the ruins in the middle of the board, on my side. I moved up to get sat up on it, advancing my captain so he could get into melee as soon as possible.

I took out a few of his men with my shooting. However, even with the 22 shots from the dreadnought, that left him with a lot of bodies left on the board.

He decided for his shooting to focus down my intercessors. This was a fairly brutal shooting round. By the end, I had a single intercessor left, with all of the rest of my lads blown to kingdom come. When I could move again, I tucked him down to where he'd be out of sight and only targetable by the mortars:

Bravely seeking cover!

However, this left my biggest threats unscathed. My dreadnought took out a lot more of his army out with its next volley of shots, obliterating much of his forces.

"Didn't we used to have more guys than this?"

Then the charges began. My grav captain got right into his forces and tore through a squad, and the dreadnought through another. His shooting was now much weaker. He did a little damage to me, but not enough to put a serious dent on my captain's or my dreadnought's ability to shred bodies. He finally brought all three of his characters into melee.

"Blended or pureed?"

At that point, he basically just had his mortars left, and there wasn't really any coming back for him. We talked a bit about strategy, and where he should have focused his fire the first round. If he'd managed to take down my dreadnought, he would have had much more time to take out my intercessors, and maybe just played around my captain, who could, after all, only take out a maximum of seven models a turn, assuming perfect rolls.

Match 2:

Space Wolves

Their Forces:

Wolf Lord, Thunderwolf Cavalry, Grey Hunters

quote:

"You know what I hate, Caminus?" the captain asked. "What's that, sir?" "Animals. Just terrible, hairy lumps of flesh. Completely useless." He shuddered. "Honestly, I can hardly imagine who would put up with those filthy beasts. You'd have to be mad." "Ah, sir..." "And the smell! Imagine just constantly having that up your snoot. Disgusting." "Sir..." "No, lad, nothing I hate worse than animals, and those who put up with them." "Sir!" "What is it, Caminus?" "Sir, this is the delegation from the Space Wolves company." Sergeant Caminus gestured to a furious wolf lord and several shaggy men on several shaggy wolves, which were starting to growl ominously. "...Ah."

The battlefield!

So, I was going up against a melee heavy army with an army that has excellent long-ranged weaponry. I also had the superior objective on my side of the map. Obviously, this meant I deployed as far forward as possible.

Hairy Dogboys!

My opponent also deployed as far forward as possible, but also kept his units into cover as far as possible. However, he couldn't quite hide his troops.

More than one way to skin a wolf.

Since all of my shooting was focused on his troops, they were taken out pretty quickly. When his thunderwolf cavalry came out of cover, I tried to soften them up a little, but they all had stormshields, which meant only one in three successful wounds actually went through. He also rolled really well on his saves, so very little damage went through. He then went to where I had grav captain pushed forward. His wolf lord caught up soon after. Over optimistically, I charged my dreadnought and intercessors into the fight. I tried to fight twice with my redemptor dreadnought, using Honor the Chapter, and managed to take out one of the thunderwolves.

A grand melee

My dreadnought and grav captain were soon destroyed, along with one more of his cavalry. This was the end of the fifth round, but we rolled to continue. I broke off what remained of my intercessors, falling back to try and delay the inevitable a little. This almost worked. Overwatch helped me take out the remaining thunderwolf. But his wolf lord got into melee.

"Mommy."

At the end of round six, I had one intercessor left in melee with his wolf lord. We were right next to the superior objective, however. I had one point for being the first to kill a unit (his troops), while he had a point for killing my warlord. My intercessor had priority on taking objectives, and this would have given me another four points. If the game ended right there, I would win... but we rolled just high enough to go to round seven. Seeing that it was futile, I bowed out and we shook hands.

This was a major learning experience for me. If I had stayed back and shot at him longer, I might have had more luck in thinning out his cavalry, or even his wolf lord. If I hadn't rammed all of my units into melee as soon as I could, I could easily gotten the objective secured and lasted into turn seven, guaranteeing a win.

quote:

"What happened?" asked Captain Incusator, as he slowly sat up. "They beat us, I'm afraid," said Sergeant Caminus. "Beat us! How?" he asked. "They fought dirty, sir," the sergeant said. "They hit us right in the flesh." "Our weakest point," the captain said. "Those beastly dastards!"

It's Saturday, so I've once more gotten to play some small games of 40K in the local builder's league. I got more pictures this time, so hopefully this will be a better batrep.

Game Setup:

Same as last week, it's 200 points, and as basic as possible to get people used to the game. No one counts as battleforged, so no ork kulturs, space marine chapter tactics or doctrines, etc. No real missions, just fights to the death.

My units:

Gravis Captain and five intercessors, all from the Dark Imperium box.

The intercessor sergeant is run as having a power sword, as the league is officially easygoing on WYSIWYG.

My Narrative:

Once more, we find ourselves on the battlefields of Herosand V!

Attracted by strange signals, the presence of enemies, or the possibility of a good meal/scrap, forces of the Imperium, Chaos, and Xenos have come to this frontier world, leaving destruction in their wake.

When last we left off, Captain Incusator and his band of intercessors had fought for first pickings of the battlegrounds. This week, they encounter their first xenos foes!

Match 1:

Eldar

Their Forces:

One autarch with a squad of Black Guardians and Shuriken Cannon.

quote:

Captain Incusator nodded as Sergeant Caminus approached. "What news, old bean?" "One of the men spotted some Xenos scum. Eldar." He spat out the word. "Ahh, the weakest flesh of all," the captain said, nodding. He hefted his power sword. "Let's see what they have to say, then." "Monkeigh scum!" an imperious voice shouted from across the Herosandian valley. "Surrender at once, or you shall be destroyed!" "'Fraid not, feller-me-lad!" the captain replied. "We don't know the meaning of the word. Why don't you give us a demonstration?" And with that, the Medusans charged.

Deployment. The Autarch is just off-screen beside his men elves.

I set up the terrain on the board, giving us each a line-of-sight blocker and putting some ruins in the middle, off to the side.

He finished deployment first, but I was able to seize initiative from him and got to go first. Since he was generally a shootier army, I focused on getting forward to him. I moved the intercessors forward and advanced with the captain. I managed to take out a couple of eldar with some shooting, but couldn't do much more.

He stayed where he was. I feel that if he'd moved back and made me chase him, he would have had a better chance in this fight. Soon, I was in charge range. My grav captain was down a couple of wounds and they'd taken out one of my intercessors, but I'd whittled his guardians down even further.

My captain charged in and took out his remaining guardians. On his turn, he charged in with his autarch.

The Clash of the Very Tiny Titans

Unfortunately, my captain was down to three wounds by that point, and the autarch soon had him down, without taking any damage himself.

Happily, by that point he was well within range of my intercessors. Their shooting didn't go terribly well, but he completely whiffed overwatch, and I now had all of my boys taking him into a group huddle.

'Sup, nerd.

The basic intercessors took off three wounds and the sergeant took off his other two with his power sword. Medusa Triumphant!

Match 2:

Orks

Their Forces:

One squad of slugga/choppa boyz with a boss nob, one squad of shoota boyz with heavy weapons boy with big shoota, and five stormboyz.

quote:

Captain Incusator was a bit worse the wear for the fight against the eldar, but a little bandaging and a nice cup of tea soon had him back on his feet. And well it was, too, for a tide of green appeared on the horizon! He shaded his eyes and looked closely. "I say, old boy, those appear to be orks." "How can you tell, sir?" Sergeant Caminus asked. "From the way they keep yelling 'waaagh' and 'orks is never beaten,'" he said. "Ah, right you are, sir." "Don't fret, young lad. After all, the fungus is weak."

Ork Deployment.

We used the same table section as the previous game, with no changes to the terrain. I set up pretty much identically. He set up his two blobs of boyz behind the LOS blocker, and put the stormboyz into the sky for deepstrike.

This is his first experience with models and wargaming, so he hadn't quite finished assembling his models, and hasn't gotten anything painted just yet. But that's part of the point of a builder's league, and I'm not going to shame him for still learning. Especially not with orks. I have six models; he has twenty-five.

I moved up quickly to get into cover, setting up my intercessors and captain into the ruins for cover.

Fortifying the Redoubt

Some shooting soon saw his boyz take some minor losses, and a couple of wounds headed my way.

Suddenly, death from the skies!

He brought his stormboyz out behind me. He charged my grav captain from two sides. The stormboyz failed their initial charge, but his choppa boyz piled in. Between overwatch, fighting back, and morale, they were routed. However, they did manage to get my captain down to three wounds. While my intercessors focused on his shootas across the map, my grav captain moved towards the stormboyz. He took one out with shooting, but failed his charge.

I'm not locked into melee with you! You're locked into melee with me!!

On his turn, he charged his stormboyz into my grav captain. He took out another wound, but one particularly good fighting roll later, and I had his entire stormboy squad taken out. Note to self: Remember to specify which melee weapon I'm using before rolling. I kept forgetting, and to be as fair as possible, I just defaulted to the power sword each time.

Finally, my intercessors moved down the board from the ruins, fired on his orks, and then charged in.

"Waaagh to you, sir!

At this point, he had three orks left, and I was making 16 attacks (3 from each intercessor, plus 4 from the sergeant). One Fighting phase later, and I was the victor.

quote:

As they stood over the bodies of the orks, Captain Incusator nodded in satisfaction. "Well done, lads! But now we face our greatest challenge yet." "What's that, sir?" ”Getting ork stains out of our armor. Remember, clean iron is happy iron!” “Fear not, sir. After all, the fungus is weak.”

I played my first two games of 40K last week at my FLGS, Heroes and Villains in Tucson. It's taken me a long time to get to this point, but I had a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I only got one picture that didn't look like crap. Hopefully I can do better in the future.

I'm going to give a quick set-up and some narrative, and see how that goes.

Game setup:

The first two weeks are about getting people used to the basics of playing their units. No one counts as battleforged, so no ork kulturs, space marine chapter tactics or doctrines, etc. No real missions at this point, just kill all the other guys.

My units: Gravis Captain and five intercessors, all from the Dark Imperium box.

The shop is fairly loose on WYSIWYG, especially while everyone's learning the game and their armies. The intercessors were played mostly as-is, except that my sergeant had a power sword. When we start playing with battleforged rules, I'll play them as stalker bolt rifles.

My Narrative: Strange signals have emanated from the Imperium world Herosand V. These signals have attracted the attention of the forces of Chaos, Tau, and Eldar. As these enemies landed on the ill-defended planet, long-dead mechanisms came to life, and a host of necrons rose to the surface! The Imperium responded swiftly, sending in units from all of its forces, whether Space Marines or Sisters of Battle, Astra Militarum or Adeptus Mechanicus. Unfortunately, this increase in forces has attracted the attention of Tyrannids (seeking biomass) and Orks (seeking a good krumpin'). With all of these forces battling for supremacy, who will win?

Match 1:

Salamanders

Their Forces:

Ten intercessors with autobolt rifles.

Having landed on the same part of the planet as several other units of Space Marines, Captain Incusator needed to discuss the priorities of deployment. Discussions broke down when several other chapters wanted to take the same areas he did. The Salamanders believed that there were Dark Eldar in the area, and called priority against their ancient enemies. "But the flesh is weak," the captain replied. "Right, but these are our ancient enemies," said the sergeant commanding the Salamanders. "I understand," the captain said, nodding. "However, the flesh, lads. Terribly weak stuff, eh?" "But fire isn't. And we have a lot of it. Fire, that is. It's kind of our thing? You may have heard?" Unable to come to an accommodation, they decided to settle the matter through a training exercise, with the winner to take the deployment.

The small battlefield had three pieces of terrain; two LOS-blocking bits and some ruins in the middle. My opponent brought ten intercessors with auto-bolters. He split the squad into two with Combat Squads, and placed them towards the front so he could get into cover as quickly as possible.

He got the better of things the first few rounds, as I had to foot-slog after his boys. The greater volume of fire from his auto-bolters gave him a distinct advantage. However, it turned around once my Captain got into melee.

The grav captain smashes face, plain to say. He would have smashed even more face if I'd remembered to use the extra attack I got from Shock Assault, but with some fire support from my intercessors, he took down the first squad pretty quickly, taking only a few wounds in the process.

The second squad stayed hunkered down in the ruins. They shot, and were able to get another couple of wounds. This was probably a mistake, however, since I was able to get close in and pin him with my grav captain, and then toss my intercessors into combat with him.

Pictured: Face-smashing in action.

I did lose one of my intercessors to overwatch, but then my volume of attacks took out the rest of his squad.

Match 2:

Grey Knights

Their Forces:

Five Grey Knight Terminators.

Having bested the Salamanders (with their bolt rifles set to stun, naturally), Captain Incusator was next challenged by a squad of Grey Knights. "It's just, y'know there are Chaos Daemons out there," they said. "That's what we do, fight Daemons, Chaos Sorcerers, things of that." "I fully understand," Captain Incusator said, sipping his Medusan tea. "But the flesh is weak." "Yeah, but we're gonna use our psychic powers. Throw mind bullets at 'em." "Right, mind bullets. But what is the mind but another form of flesh, old chap?" he replied. "Which is to say weak. No, I think we'd better take this one." Unfortunately, they were not moved by the unassailable logic of his position, and once more he would need to pull out the nerf setting on his power sword to teach these rapscallions a lesson!

Unfortunately, no pictures of this one. This time, there were three pieces of LOS-blocking terrain, one in each deployment zone, one in the middle of the map.

This one I probably should have lost, to be honest. The grey knights had vortex of doom, and the only reason it didn't rip me up more was that I had made the (tactically questionable) decision to split up my intercessors and captain, getting him up close with the idea of them giving fire support until he had them tied up. As it was, he took several mortal wounds from Vortex, and then got smacked up pretty good. Luckily, he was able to take two of them out in melee, before my intercessor squad was able to get in and clean things up.

However, this honestly was only possible because the other player was rolling like crap. His shooting was better, his melee was better, and he had a psychic phase. My only advantage was having more Wounds for him to eat through. Not being battleforged hurt me a lot more than it hurt him. Luckily for me, I don't think he got above a two in his last two rounds. Thanks to that, I was able to take him out with three intercessors remaining.

quote:

Though he was shaken up by the Grey Knights' Diet Smite and larp weapons, Captain Incusator's men were able to hold the day. Now assured of their battlefield of choice, they were poised to show the power and strength of pure iron will to all who fought on Herosand V!