So I had a long conversation with LMM today, and a big thing with me could, till then, be described as wanting to feel like an object.
It's always bothered me that objectification and misogyny go hand in hand. They do, but wanting objectification does not mean you want misogyny. But perhaps for a lot of people who want it, they just think they come as a package.
But she said something to me when I was edging and cuntbabbling. I said I wanted to be an object for her, broadly, I can't remember the exact words I used, but object was definitely one of them.
She told me she didn't want that, it didn't turn her on to think of me or hear me talk like that.
And this is a woman who would quite cheerfully fill me full of drugs and leave me edging incoherently while she fucks someone else.
And then she told me she wanted my involvement, she wanted to see just how far she could push my mind and my body
I had to reconsider my words.
I want to be complicit in my own reduction. Not as an object inferior, as a willing, equal participant in the fucked up things she wants to do to me. That I want her to do to me.
Of course I'm always a willing participant in reality, but the words were different, the understanding, for me, was different.
So perhaps if you harbor secret desires like I do, perhaps if you share them with your man, or online with the 'Doms', then perhaps consider that you might not want to be an object inferior.
Perhaps consider that you're an equal partner in an experiment to reduce you as far as you can go.
It is not a quest for kneeling to someone who would take your devotion callously and without thought.
It is an opportunity for a partnership. And so so much more.
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