I'll Be Your Guide

Once a boy looked very sadly at me after a little bit of conversation. ‘you’re so smart’ he said, ‘I feel like I couldn’t keep up’. And then he did that sad boy face where you’re supposed to agree to tone yourself down. So I said ‘probably’ and fucked his mate.

some top advice from a slut, here, 90% of the time when some boy looks sad and tells you you’re too ‘x’ to keep up with it’s a ploy to get you to cut bits off yourself so you can come down to his mediocre level; instead, agree with him and fuck his mate

Reaper’s fucking dead

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

🖤🖤🖤

i love how half of millenial humor is just thinly veiled cries for help and the other half is dadaist absurdism

me: sees a picture of two rocks next to each other also me: @’s my significant other

my personal fav anxiety is “i’m in the wrong place” anxiety that isn’t alleviated until u see someone that u know should also be in the same place as u

the best running theme of Phoenix Wright is that he 100% just rolls with whatever relationship other people decide to have with him. His only girlfriend basically just walked up to him and said “you. we’re dating now and you love me very much” and he was like “yeah okay, lemme know if you have a sweater I can wear to really drive the point home.” The Fey sisters basically grabbed him and said “I guess you’re our brother now” and he was like “yeah sure do you have any family drama I could get involved in?” Even Trucy just sorta told him “hey you’re my dad” and he was like “Mm. Guess I’d better get a job, huh.”

Look I need to point out for anyone not in the fandom that the section with Trucy isn’t just true, it’s nearly an exact quote.

yeah it’s important to note that this is not an exaggeration or comedy oversimplification, this is literally how he adopted his daughter in the actual game

everything has changed….that was a cosmic shift….we’ve left the dark timeline y'all i can feel it

nintendo shows high society millenials playing the Switch in spacious uptown lofts meanwhile I dropped my DS onto ketchup on a paper plate and licked it clean

!!! Oh

#listen tho what if #muggles are terrible about disabilities#but wizards are even worse#they don’t even have the terminology that muggles do#it’s all ‘kinda loony’ or “just dim’ or (most often) ‘not a talented witch/wizard’#and ofc ~everyone knows~ that all illnesses can be cured with magic#(except for some magical illnesses that can’t be cured at all)#but as ron talks more with hermione and other muggleborns#and researches the spells hermione gets him#and realizes that most of the spell creators probably also had dyslexia but had no word for it#he realizes that what ‘everyone knows’ isn’t true at all#after abt a year of this he talks to mcgonagall abt changing his career goals#goes into healing with a concentration on research#and a secret concentration on finding out what muggles know and bringing it into the wizarding world#(his dad is so proud of him and prolly helps out a lot too)

every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.