Wren

2026 - the year of the dullahan

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

Who the fuck is that thing tolling for

already gay but i get so gregarious off that tequila

its so scary making plans with new friends. what if i suggest something stupid and we have a terrible time and they find out im a fraud and not a real human being

All right, hold on – is there anyone in this room who wasn't grown in a tube by a shadowy quasi-governmental conspiracy as a living weapon? Anyone at all?

Mine was a sphere

you guys got your own containers? I was grown in a high-capacity vat with the rest of my batch

Bougie mf over here with a high-capacity vat acting like they were soooo much worse off than those of us grown from the fucking SOIL

Fuck y'all, I'm going back to the ditch ooze.

I think I might be in the wrong meeting room but I brought cookies if anyone wants one.

okay but sean kingston literally had a point

i see a beautiful woman and become inconsolably suicidal

I know it feels good as fuck to cast spells from up there

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard