will self destuct for love

me in high school: omg cant wait for college me in college: omg cant wait for the 10 years between retirement and the cold embrace of the grave

people in the US my age and younger are posting about getting vaccinated and i’m pressed up against the metaphorical glass like an orphan child in a dickensian novel

what you see is what you get with this one

GREER,SHE DOESNT HAVE ANY FUCKING BONES.

Pangur has the ONE bone that matters: the heart ❤️

my mom is really that bitch and i’m that bitch jr

“Heard you loud and clear,” I say as I carry 7 new notebooks to the cash register.

MARTY THE BLOB

this is the most important thing i have seen all my life

They both know they got too much money to be blowing bubbles

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

This was like reading a Lemony Snicketts book.