wow you have dogshit taste (remembers im trying to be nicer to people who like different things) uh i mean, it's beautiful how the breadth of human experience is so wide it encompasses those with good taste and those with dogshit taste

I need something pornographic to happen to me soon

"hot girls do this" "hot girls do that" you bore me. ugly and cold women rise

i was having a really hard morning but my daughter of 3 years said mommy dont cry i made you a drum n bass playlist

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...