Two puppy interviews with Tom Holland and none with Ben Platt.
Get it together, Buzzfeed.

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
noise dept.
taylor price
hello vonnie

Sade Olutola

Kiana Khansmith
Not today Justin

titsay
d e v o n
todays bird
almost home
Peter Solarz
i don't do bad sauce passes

ā

pixel skylines
Xuebing Du
Three Goblin Art
NASA

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@turniptitaness
Two puppy interviews with Tom Holland and none with Ben Platt.
Get it together, Buzzfeed.

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Fuck it. Bitch-Stitching that fucking Target bag. I have counted out rows and estimated size. I'll report back.
For now, you need worsted weight yarn, a 4.5 hook, and rage.
Hour #1:
The worsted weight I'm using is thinner than the original yarn, but the measurements are coming out just fine. It leaves a little space between stitches on the bottom part. I expected this as the original bag is 100% cotton and likely made from dish cotton/kitchen cotton (aka Lily Sugar and Cream or similar). That would make the stitches press together a bit more on the 4.5 mm hook.
I'm taking a break between every hour-long section, which is definitely more than any artist making these for Target is likely getting.
HOUR TWO:
AND HOUR THREE:
We are officially going into less than $10 an hour in labor if you're selling it for $30. Shocking no one.
Calling it a night on this particular project. I shall pick up this bitch stitch tomorrow.
HOUR FOUR
Literally on the next to last row of the open stitch rows. If i were ONLY stitching and not able to also do something else, I could have knocked out the entire rest of the body of the bag in this hour, but I get to tweak my pace as I see fit. Which I assure you the people making these for sub-par wages in 12-hour work day stretches* don't get to do.
*This statement based on the following information: Target (and other big box retailers) import most often from China. While the government claims Chinese workers work a standard 40-hour week, this is widely understood to be bullshit. Chinese factory workers typically work what is known as 996. 9 am - 9 pm, 6 days a week. China DOES have labor laws, but they are regularly flouted by businesses, and the government doesn't give two fucks about its citizens, so they don't enforce shit.
HOUR FIVE:
Okay, the body of the bag is finished and I'm nearly done with the straps. I suspect the straps are attached using machine sewing, so I am going to call the time to make this bag at 5 hours. What's left is about 15 minutes at most, and as I've said, if I was only stitching and not also watching something, I'd have worked this up a bit faster.
So, $30 for a crocheted bag that takes 5 hours. The workers creating these bags won't be considering cost of materials, since they will be provided, so it's $6 an hour for just labor.
BUT. We all know Target isn't paying $6 an hour for labor because they ARE concerned about cost of materials and the cost of shipping to stores.
ALSO BUT. I seriously doubt the crocheters working on the bags that will show up in Target are getting paid an hourly wage. It's common in Chinese factories (and other factories) for handworkers to get paid per piece rather than with a set wage. Which means the workers are probably under a quota system to make X number of bags in a single day or week in order to get the highest pay they can. And no doubt if they miss quota, they not only don't get their full pay but get punished by having a percentage of their paid wages taken as well.
Look, I know most of us reading this aren't shocked by any of this or surprised. But also, Target is not only harming workers but doing so with a pretty little stamp from a so-called ally to handworkers through the Nest certification. And they only got THAT after two years ago when people pointed out 35 bucks for a granny square vest was labor exploitation, and then last year, they tried the "Oh, it's machine crocheted" bullshit on items made in chain stitch on knitting machines, thus making the garments very easily destructible. So, now they're getting a bullshit cert to try and cover their asses again because they'd rather keep exploiting people's skilled work than actually try to do a tiny bit better.
Anyway. Here's a rough of the pattern. I'm going to make another bag with some Red Heart Super Soft because I don't have dish cotton, but that should give me an idea of what I might need to edit for a final pattern. When it's done, it'll go up for pay what you will on my ko-fi.
P.S. Fuck that hashtag
What you need:
4.5 mm hook
Worsted weight yarn (approximately 300 yards) - dish cotton will get you the best dupe, as the original bag is 100% cotton
stitch markers to mark increases
Instructions:
Note: I chose to join and turn at the end of each round. A join and chain without turning (spiral rounds) may get a closer result to the original.
The first round is worked around both sides of the chain.
Ch 65. DC in third chain from hook. DC in each chain to the final chain. 3 DC in last chain. Place stitch marker in second of 3 DC cluster. DC across to the first DC. 2 DC in same place as first DC. Place stitch marker in second of 2 DC cluster. Join. Turn.
Ch 3. Work even for 2 rounds, completing rounds with a join and turning work.
Round 4: Ch 3. 2 DC in first stitch. DC to the stitch before marked stitch. 2 DC in that stitch. 1 DC in marked stitch. 2 DC in following stitch. Work to other end. 2 DC in last stitch before the join. Join. Turn.
Round 5: Ch 3. Repeat increase row. Join. Turn.
Work even for 7 rounds.
Round 13: Ch 4. Skip next DC. (DC, ch 1) in following stitch. Repeat () around. On final stitch, DC, ch 1 and join. Turn.
Round 14: Ch 4. (DC, ch 1) in next DC. (DC, ch 1) around, working all DCs into top of previous round DCs. Join. Turn.
Repeat last round 18 times.
Trim: Ch 3. DC in each DC and chain space around. Join. Turn. Repeat round once. Fasten off.
Straps (Make 2):
Note: Straps can be made however long you want. This is just my best guess accounting for possible stretch during use.
Ch 101. DC in the third chain from hook and each chain across.
Turn. Chain 1. Slip stitch in each DC across. Slip stitch twice in side of first DC, then slip stitch across bottom of DCs. Slip stitch twice in side of final DC and join to first Slip stitch. Fasten off.
Attach straps to inside of bag. Weave in all ends. Be proud of yourself. Fuck Target.
Made another one!
Red Heart Super Saver, so it's never gonna die.
Adjustments to pattern as follows:
Don't turn. You want to join the last stitch to the first stitch, then chain, then keep going on DCs. For the mesh rows, join the final chain stitch to the first DC, chain 4, then DC in next DC.
I have some wool leftover from the Banshees sweater I will be using to make a third bag and that will be the one I photograph nicely to officially put a pattern together for my ko-fi. It'll go up as pay what you will once the third bag is finished.
A very cute market bag I 100% created because Target pissed me off by selling one for entirely too little for the artist who made it to make
Official pattern! Made a couple of tweaks from the one I posted above. Pay what you will. Go forth. Make bags. Fuck Target.
āCantref y Gwaelod" by Alan Lee
When will my husband (all the protagonists of Dracula) return from war (their boring, uneventful June)
The realization that its History + Tom Hiddlestonā¦
Disney:
Lowho:
1. I don't believe you.
2. I'm so fucking excited.
believe me, turnip

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The realization that its History + Tom Hiddlestonā¦
Disney:
Lowho:
1. I don't believe you.
2. I'm so fucking excited.
Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)
The way he always looks at her⦠like if he wasnāt a depressed lil rockstar vampire with the soul of a brooding romantic poet, heād be giggling.
oh my god I love that so much ^^^
Adam is smitten, you just have to look closer to see it. And that makes it even sexier somehow. @turniptitanessās description was perfect.
Oooh, I'd forgotten about this post, but ya know what? I was so right.
Itās the most wonderful time of the yeaaaaaar
@the-haven-of-fiction @ilsawasanacrobat @turniptitaness @i-wanna-be-in-england
I'm gonna flatten that hair.
WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS āDEFTLY DONE, MADAM,ā OR āIF ITāS NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAMā
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRYāS VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
I need this
is the voice tom hiddlestonās
asking for a friend
@the-haven-of-fiction @turniptitaness @izhunny @ladyoftheteaandblood
SHUT THE FUCK UP I NEED THIS
(itās Stephen Fry, Lolo.)
WELL STEPHEN FRY IS STILL A WIN
MASSIVE FUCKING WIN
did Amos and Glenn in Theatre Camp (2023) have a situationship?
yes and they freak it (Amos looking at Glenn in drag was not casual Iām sorry)
no idk what youāre talking about
@turniptitaness @coffeelovinggayidiot my loyal yaoi loving bestest of friends (affectionately!) can weigh in
sigh if only I could find clips on YouTube for my compulsion to make an edit or something sigh bigger sigh
HELL YEAH THEY DID

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WHOEVER BUYS THIS FOR ME WINS MY ETERNAL LOVE
I OWN THIS
EVERY MORNING HE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HOW THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP
AND WHEN YOU PRESS THE BUTTON TO HUSH HIM HE SAYS āDEFTLY DONE, MADAM,ā OR āIF ITāS NOT TOO FORWARD OF ME, THAT DID TICKLE, MADAMā
IT WAKES YOU UP WITH THE SOUND OF CHIRPING BIRDS BEFORE STEPHEN FRYāS VOICE
EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ONE
I need this
is the voice tom hiddlestonās
asking for a friend
@the-haven-of-fiction @turniptitaness @izhunny @ladyoftheteaandblood
SHUT THE FUCK UP I NEED THIS
(it's Stephen Fry, Lolo.)
Happy Pride!
If you want to learn more about Shakespeareās queerness I recommend Straight Acting: The Hidden Queer Lives of William Shakespeare, by Will Tosh. Iāve just started it but so far itās doing a great job examining what queerness looked like in Shakespeareās time.
Ann Arbor Comic Arts Festival
I will be at the Ann Arbor Comic Arts Festival this weekend, June 13-14, at the Downtown Ann Arbor District Library. I will also be running a āhow to draw stick-figuresā workshop on Saturday, June 13 at 11:30am. I realize that (a) this is very late notice, and (b) most of you arenāt in the Ann Arbor area, but if you are⦠stop by and say hello! I will have printed mini-comic versions of the above comic available!
Shakespeare Anyone? Podcast
I had the pleasure of talking with Elyse and Kourtney of the Shakespeare Anyone? podcast a few weeks ago and the episode featuring me is up now! Give it a listen if you have time; it was a fun conversation and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
ā⦠weāll take it slow and grow as we go.ā
i canāt get over how crazy much ado is sometimes. it feels like a deconstruction of shakespeareās other comedies when you look at how quick and lovesick and beautiful hero and claudio are and how well they fit the script of just classic young lovers, things like how hero is one of the only characters to speak in verse, the way claudio praises her to all his friends etc. and then how in the middle of the play the script is completely flipped. now hero is in danger because of what claudio believes and no one can help her. and suddenly the love story shatters because the same willingness claudio has to fall in love with her at first sight is the same willingness he has to believe a baseless accusation and the love story starts to descend into horror because thereās no legal course of action hero can appeal to her and her own father insults and disowns her at her wedding and sheās quite literally left for dead fainting on the ground with her father saying let her die, what is it to me? itās insane because like 30 minutes before itās just a happy comedy love story but shakespeare shows a real darkness to the genre because claudio may think he loves her but when it comes down to it he will never trust her. her word isnāt good enough. no one is going to listen to the woman
Oh oh oh but this is why Much Ado is so subversive (and my fave)!
No one listens to Hero, BUT Benedick takes Beatriceās word. Yes, thereās a moment when heās like āyou donāt mean actually KILL Claudio, amirite ha ha ha?ā
But when he realizes she is in earnest HER TESTIMONY IS ENOUGH.
āEnough. I am engaged.ā
It is one of the only times we see a womanās word taken at face value and action taken on her part.
Benedick for all his bluster is the only one to BELIEVE WOMEN.

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Ok Iām actually starting to get a little defensive of Ilya because why am I seeing more and more characterization of him as messy, undisciplined, irresponsible, etc.
Like yes, heās more carefree than Shane, but heās also one of the best hockey players in the world and you donāt get there without an insane amount of discipline, and even beyond that we literally see him acting as a caretaker for his father, managing money for his brother, arranging his fatherās funeral and getting it done quickly and efficiently, none of that is the behavior of someone whoās never used a calendarā¦
Wait wait wait can I?? Can I add?????
I think whatās delicious about Ilya is his self worth related to these concepts. He thinks heās lazy, messy, undisciplined. You listen, you donāt soeak. Yes. You need a haircut. Yes, Father. The problem is leadership. Yes, nod, yes. But repeatedly we are shown that Ilya is good. Heās an attentive lover, heās a good friend. He tries to be a good son to a hard man. He gives his brother whatever he asks for. He inspires his teammates. He worries that Ryan Priceās book will fall on the floor and oh fuck Price is going to lose his place, I will help, oh fuck, I failed.
But his family tells him heās no good, so it must be true. They have been the loudest voices in his life and thatās literally become his inner monologue. But then here comes Shane āI donāt know that side of you at allā Hollander and soon enough Ilya is monologuing into the phone on the street outside of his fatherās funeral about how actually no. Heās given everything to his family. He makes everything perfect. And he couldnāt physically be there for his father all the time but he paid for it all. And yet they despise him. He knows why, or says he does. But I donāt think does, I think in that moment the seed is planted that Ilya is lovable. And he doesnāt have to be perfect, he doesnāt have to drain himself dry. The person who loves him is trying to fill his cup from thousands of miles away.
Ilya lives somewhat hedonistically because he has a nihilist edge. What does it fucking matter, Hollander? He has a hopelessness, but he fights it. These characters are triumphant, even if that triumph is bittersweet. If Shane is on a journey to self acceptance then Ilyaās is one of self-actualization. The more he loves, the more he loves himself.
I couldn't sleep last night so I decided to make a moodboard for Pas de Deux, my 1890s Balletcore fic! And since I couldn't decide what pictures to use, I ended up making two :) this is also my first time making moodboards so please be gentle!
This one is more of a "light" theme, in the spirit of our literal ray of sunshine Alina Starkov! Impressionist paintings (especially Edgar Degas' Dancer paintings) and backstage life were huge inspirations for this board. I tried to emphasize more of the happier aspects of the fic, like the joy she gets from dancing, warm summer days, her found family, and her budding relationship with Aleksander, but still some shadows linger...
This is the "dark" theme: cool, austere, and brimming with unspeakable tension. Itās the smoky and shadowy nights that the darkling calls his own. And yet, there are moments of love and excitement. I was super inspired by the (relatively new) introduction of photography in the era as well as the darker side of life in the 19th century.
So if you like a slowburn romance with themes of duality, passion, and self-discovery with lots of dancing and carriages and repressed feelings, get your tickets for Pas de Deux!
Pairing: The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova x Alina Starkov
Rating: M (mostly for thematic elements)
Wordcount: ~28.5k words (and counting)
Additional Tags and Warnings: Period Typical Attitudes, Sexism, Some Racial Microaggressions, Discussion of Sexual Harassment and Exploitation, Gritty Things Related to the Ballet World, Power Imbalance, 19th Century Sugar Dating, Depictions of Social Anxiety,Ā Hurt/Comfort, Soft!The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova, Angst, Fluff, Kissing, Gift Giving, Dancing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Pining, Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Romance. (Also Warning that I am terrible at updating)
You can read the fic here. Hope you enjoy! š©°š