I'm a slut for potato salad

i always loved how eggman was so obsessed with himself

I know these are probably the worded the way they are because some Japanese person wrote them but they make me laugh so much.

I am great.

I was in a group interview for a petsmart once, and this girl who had bullied me at our past job was there. We were all told to go around the circle and say why we wanted to work there. All of us sensible folks answered with generic interview stuff like “I love animals” and “I admire the help this company gives to shelters” and all that… then the bully spoke up.

dollar store got wise and started charging for broom handles and the broom head, trying to charge me $5 for the whole deal, 3 for the handle and 2 for the head.

me, in the housewares aisle trying to think 19 moves ahead and exactly what my alibi will be for the police:

dinosaurs probably wouldnt be half as popular if they still existed cause they’d just be animals and wouldn’t be as mysterious

Rolls around town wearing these bad boys

crowley, looking at a millipede: okay. let’s discuss - i mean, pros and cons

You already know his happy ending! This was his first talent show, but he became quite a famous musician!