Secondhand Starbucks

*coughing blood and covered in wounds, on one knee, gripping my sword planted on the ground… And yet, smiling* Heh… And yet, despite everything… *I start glowing with mysterious power* I stay silly!

shoutout to the lord of the rings lighting directors. bold move to let the audience see what's going on in nighttime scenes. i miss that.

underrated fantasy thing is when authors want to avoid giving an actual earth year their story takes place so the characters say shit like "back in the Year Of The Skateboarding Dragon" and all the other characters are like ah yes how could we forget the crops were so plentiful the year that dragon did those sweet sweet kickflips

how dare you be funnier than me on my own post

The devil is god’s enemy but will torture you if you disobey god? Girl they are in cahoots. Good cop bad cop.

Got a couple asks about breaking my promise of keeping this blog a positive space, so I wanted to say: I'm sorry for saying that I hope a deer tramples Texas governor Greg Abbott into a pile of hamburger. I only said it because I feel that way and hope that it happens. Love and light.

i hope he drowns in fire ants. i hope fire ants fill his lungs and bite him bite him bite him bite

tumblr is the only website where users can inflict psychological torture on each other, my mutual just reblogged like 50 posts of sherlock gifs in a row. and im powerless to stop him. what can i possibly do, unfollow him? don't be ridiculous

log in. portray clear signs of mental illness. call 40+ year old actors my besties. log off.

blondes this brunettes that meanwhile black haired girls keep slaying silently as they have for 10000000 years

its like i always say. at least theres bisexuality

deep breaths everyone. at least we have bisexualism

hey um im rly sorry but i saved ur boyfriend in the wrong format and now his save file is corrupted. so he’s evil and weird now. sorry

[OPENS FRIDGE, REMOVES TUPPERWARE CONTAINER LABELLED "Pomegranates from land of dead do not eat"]

[I REMOVE A SECOND CONTAINER LABELLED "Fairy apples do not eat (Autumn Court)]

[I APPROACH THE BLENDER]