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@seaworlddotcom
teenage girls in fiction: hes so cute i wanna slow dance with him at prom :3 hehe
real teenage girls: imagine if he got injured and i had to tend to his wounds and i could watch him seize up a bit as i disinfect them and in the haze of fever he sees me as an angel
shoutout to the person who tagged this "#geronimo stilton" for living their truth in a way most of us could never find the courage to
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Cannot stand the trend of censoring any and all words that describe concepts that might make you go :( especially when the censoring is done in that quarter-assed way that's just 'did a lil scribble over a vowel so you know that I know this word describes a no-no."
I'm not even going to be vague about what sparked this. Do not fucking censor the word 'stole.' I'm at my fucking limit.
Fr*nch
everyone needs to watch this video before they log off tonight
well, now I know what I’m doing every time a car alarm goes off
the BEST THING about America is that one of their timezones is called mountain time. i cannot tell you how funny that is to me. it sure is always time for mountains in one fourth of america
1/4 of you guys live like this
It do be Mountain time tho
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tumblr isn’t considered a social media because everyone on here is just talking to themselves
yeah i agree
What does the backend of this website look like that it enabels time travel
I do have a piece of writing advice, actually.
See, the first time I grew parsnips, I fucked it up good. I hadn't seen parsnips sprouting before, right, and in my eagerness I was keeping a close eye on the row. And every time I saw some intruding grass coming up, I twitched it right out, and went back to anticipating the germination of my parsnips.
But it turns out parsnips take a bit longer than anything else I'd ever grown to distinguish themselves visually. It's just the two little split leaves, almost identical to a newly seeded bit of kentucky bluegrass when they first come up, and they take a good bit to establish themselves and spread out flat before the main stem with its first distinctive scallopy leaf gets going.
I didn't get any parsnips, not that year, because I'd weeded them all out as soon as they showed their faces, with my 'ugh no that's grass' twitchy horticulture finger.
The next year, having in retrospect come to suspect what had happened, I left the row alone and didn't weed anything until all the sprouts coming up had all had a bit to set in and show their colors, and I've grown lots of parsnips since. They're kind of a slow crop, not a huge return, but I like them and watching them grow and digging them up, and their papery little seeds in the second year, if you don't harvest one either on purpose or because you misjudged the frost, so it's worth it.
Anyway, whenever I see someone stuck and struggling with their writing who's gotten into that frustration loop of typing a few words, rejecting them, backspacing, and starting again, I find myself thinking, you gotta stop weeding your parsnips, man.
reading this post be like
I booted my old laptop to find a file and was once again dealt immediate psychic damage by my desktop wallpaper
I open this thing just infrequently enough that it catches me woefully off guard every single fucking time
OP do you still have the original image. Would you be willing to share it.
but of course.
shoutout to the woman from my high school martial arts class who liked to get me in joint locks and then joke about how I was easy to catch. you cannot comprehend how psychosexually formative that was for me
imagine, if you will, having an adolescent half-crush on someone way older than you, which is also confusingly blurred up with admiration of them as a role model. now imagine that you and that person are in a social environment where it is acceptable to (platonically, consensually) choke someone. I think I was very normal about it considering the circumstances
she would demonstrate takedowns on her husband (also in the class, and who was not a small man) before we got to try them and the first time I saw her twist him around and down onto the floor like it was easy my entire abdomen clenched
I cannot stress enough how eager this guy was to be manhandled (womanhandled?) and flipped around by his wife. he was her de facto guinea pig whenever she got to teach and I never saw him unenthusiastic about it. he'd set himself up for a joint lock fully smiling. the other adults in the class occasionally teased him about it (being so quick to let your wife put you in a submission hold tends to raise a few eyebrows), and I always kind of wanted to defend him but what would I have said? like, don't worry. I won't judge you. I also like being pinned down by your wife
That last sentance really hits ya like a psychosexually formative takedown
[Image ID: Reddit comment from somethingObscur edited to read: I also choose this guy's wife. /End ID]
i was talking to friends who's main view of tumblr is that everything is sexualized on here. and when i said i do see that i also know that the most vocal groups of asexuals are on tumblr. eventually i realized how much of tumblr was de-sexualizing sex. like just saw a post of a gifset of a sexy lady smoking and tying up hands with the reblog text "me putting the little tag back on the bread bag" and so many posts are like that. just saying or talking about some sex shit in a completely neutral non-sexual manner. I was going in loops around my head trying to figure out why it was like this, something about being so used to nudity and sex and that's not shocking or even sexy anymore, until circling back to the fact that tumblr is full of asexuals and maybe the most respectful place of them. it was then a saw a poll (a post I CANNOT find again for the life of me but it was some type of sexuality poll or something) and was shocked by just how many people answering it were asexual, until I remembered this and went. oh. so yes everything on tumblr is sexualized but not even for sexualization's sake or for sexual satisfaction. its for the bit
uptopia in the making sporting my aspec siblings
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The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.
Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them
While we are at it I need nonblack people to stop saying “YN” and “🥷🏾” just to get around saying antiblack racial slurs. Yes that includes that stupid shit where white people go “ooh but I said nega not-“ I don’t give a shit. You know damn well what you meant. Fuck off. It’s a insta block from me for anyone who does this shit and think it’s funny or whatever don’t pmo.
And before someone fucking says “erm are you referring to the fanfic / shipping term? How is your name offen-“ obviously no I’m not referring to that and anyone who is using it to mean “your name” types it with a slash -> (y/n) *NOT* “yn”. Like. I need nonblacks to stop randomly regurgitating aave they see or hear without knowing what it fucking means and misusing it to hell and back thinking it’s cool/ trendy/ or something worthy of mockery. It means young nigga. Stop fucking using it if you’re not black lol
People wanna pretend it was all in good fun and only got racist afterwards (if they'll even acknowledge it ever was racist) meanwhile some of the earliest TikTok making clanker jokes were skits that were just "racist dad hates his daughter's black boyfriend" only the boyfriend is a robot instead, and before that, these exact same kinds of jokes were circulating the Star Wars fandom for over a decade
They want all the "fun" of being blatantly racist and provocative, but don't want any of the reactions you'd get from someone watching you being blatantly racist
they got married btw
oh you’re not kidding
we all got that 1 friend that brings a sadomasochistic vibe 2 the hangout
buckle my shoe 😊
Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it
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kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically
dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :
