...Can I Try That Again?

Now you know.

Wanna hear the water birb CRONCH

Me, after coming out of a decade of depression

God damn I need the story behind this before tumblr makes one up

they tried to get their phone fixed from somewhere other than the approved apple store locations,so apple tried to take em out

satin is a treadmill for snakes

please watch this

They’re probably so angry

please watch with sound on

They’re called safety scissors but the safety’s off bitch!

A guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she’ll never find a boyfriend.

I do not normally reblog from shitmystudentswrite but I need as many people as possible to see this

I built a nap hole in my closet which is great and has no downside until someone comes into my room looking for me and I have to crawl out of my closet which is frankly impossible to do with dignity and without looking like a sleepy Gollum hissing “what does it wants who wakes us up”

I see no downsides to this

timeless classic

the next time you think you’re lonely, just remember you have about 25 billion white blood cells in your body protecting your sorry little ass with their life. you have 25 billion friends who would die for you. no need for tears.

thank you osmosis jones

My immune system tried to kill me though.

Jordan just remember you had twenty five billion enemies trying to kill you and you’ve survived them all

Take THAT you tiny goddamn sons of bitches.