Chinaza

Since I moved cities to begin studying for a degree, I’ve neglected this blog for video blogging (vlogging) instead. It’s not quite the same. I’m definitely more candid on here, but I’ve found that sometimes creative outlets will change, just as seasons do. Run with it. You can catch up with my uni experiences so far on my YouTube channel (click here).

But also, since I moved, I’ve grown more aware of the world around me. At University, you’re met with a microcosm of the world’s diversity, and a taste of the plethora of opportunities that exist. Which has been exciting, but equally nerve-racking. It’s easy to get caught up in comparision, feeling far less ‘ready’ for adulthood than my peers from more affluent/privileged backgrounds. It never really bothered me before, and its not like I haven’t ‘qualified’ to be where I am just like everyone else. So why the feeling of inadequancy?

I think it’s just part of being human, and honestly so. I believed the lie that with age I’ll grow more sufficient, and somehow feel more self-confident, sure, and secure... In reality, life has been and is tougher than expected. Looking forward, at all life’s uncertainties, can be overwhelming. But, the more I know, I know my yesterday’s are but a gift of grace, and that tomorrow will meet me mercifully.

“Errr, Chinaza - for the non-poetic peeps out there could you re-word that?”

I don’t know what my twenties will bring. Though I look forward to the prospects of graduating, travelling the globe, work (kind of, lol), marriage, and motherhood. None of these are without a cost or guaranteed. So when I look at tomorrow - with all its uncertainties and expectations, its natural for me to feel anxious. I do so too often lol. But that’s only one, very narrow, ME-centred, and faithless way of thinking. I can instead look at my yesterdays, and remind myself of how my all-sufficient Heavenly Father has never failed to meet my flaws with His abounding grace. He has committed ALL the conditions of life - those weathering and blossoming alike - for my good and His glory (Romans 8:28). Knowing this, I can look at tomorrow and know, all will be well. The reality of ‘well’ might just look very different from what I’d hope for, but I must trust that what He has in store is best because of who He is (Psalm 119:68).

So here’s to a new decade. A decade in which I hope to choose faith over fear every day, trusting in my God, and resting in His care.

Sincerely,