Asabeah Ama

Received these beauties on my birthday well, I believe before my birthday. These were a birthday gift from my little sister. I am completely in love with them. They are the perfect fall/summer shoes. Also they are beyond comfortable. I am upset because I splattered foundation on them but they do not look bad Lol. Well yea Love them ! 

Off Campus Living. 

Always Love the Skin I Am In. Love Myself. Difie Asabeah Ama. Ever since I turned twenty one, I have become more happy (feel good) content, with myself. I love the skin I am in. I try to stay positive even on my bad days ‘LOL’. I am on a hunt to find a husband cause I feel so damn good. ‘LOL’ I am feeling good for myself. I am bringing into existent that it is okay to be confident in how you look and how you feel about yourself. Feel Beautiful. Its Okay.  

I’m a cross between ‘IShateria’ and ‘WinonahDeJong’. On a budget. Still a college student.

It's school, school is running my life unfortunately. But not so much so because it needs to because I need to be successful. My struggles will be explained in a later post.

I always said "this blog won't be about my personal relationship with the one I love", but I need to write something down. I need to clear my thoughts. Today, February 4, 2015, is the day we are officially over. Its kind of weird, because last year around this time is when we broke up, and from then on we were on/off for the year. How time can fly. I pray that I will get over you quickly. I need to. I do not want you to have control over me anymore. I can not allow you to abuse me mentally and emotionally anymore. To this day, I can say I have always loved you more than you loved me, I am okay with saying that. However I believe that a man's love should always be stronger than a woman, because women will always love you unconditionally. You didn't deserve my love. You deserve the way I felt for you. I loved you like you were my husband. However, as the relationship progressed for three years, I also believed that you had a control over me, and you knew this. You knew we didn't love each other on the same level. You knew you had a control over me, because I always came back, no matter what you did to me, I always came back. I am going to miss you so much, no matter what I will always say you were my first love. But I honestly can say its time. I am truly like deeply tired of crying you. I have cried more than 3000 times over you and I know its going to be so hard, but I have to do this. I no longer have the strength for me and you. You have broken me. "A heart is meant to be broken" -Oscar Wilde. I believe you broke my heart. You did, you broke me mentally and emotionally. In a way, I feel like it was okay that I hurt you because you have done way worse. I just wanted that feeling of control back, I just wanted to be over you. The way you treated me was like pure shit and I knew I deserved better than that. I need my own mind. I need to get back to myself. I need to become stronger for myself. I have to. I need to have control over myself. I need to love myself. The Power of the Pussy. 

School & Relationships have taken over my life, I am ready to take it back. Well, not the school part, thats always going to be there. But the relationships, they need to go. I need to become a better person within myself, I am glad that I am realizing it now, then later where I regret things. I need to let certain people leave my life, so I can grow. The only thing is, it is so hard. Thats why you have your twenties. 

I DID NOT GET THE SHOES!!! They didn't have anymore in the warehouse. I was beyond upset, because I was really looking forward to them. 

Read at least 20 pages of Gone Girl and read a Bible chapter, Apply for Home and School Jobs and Internships, Buy TextBooks, Come up with a Gym Routine, Read up on LSATS and find out information for different law schools

1. Sleep earlier, rise earlier - get off your phone, set a time, create a habit. 2. Read more - and not just shitty fanfics. Read them too. But read. Read classics, read newspapers, read magazines, read fictional books, read joke books. Just read. 3. Stay away from people who do not deserve you - you are worth a lot more. Fuck their shitty opinions. 4. Eat well - and I don’t mean diet. I mean, eat well. Eat healthy, indulge every once in a while, but don’t go overboard. Eat for your health and not for society. 5. Create a plan that will be enjoyable for exercise and just do it - no fucking around this year 6. Study well - an hour every single day. Just one hour of uninterrupted, that’s all it will take. Apprendre et travail dans Francais - Je ne sais pas si ce est juste, pardon a mon francais suiveurs 7. Pamper yourself- give yourself one hour. One hour a week to unwind. To week to wash your hair, leave in your conditioner, soak your skin, have a face mask, shave your legs, light some candles, drink some tea, put on nice smelling lotion and comfy pajamas, put on some nice music and sleep well. 8. Put in an effort - doing your hair nicely, putting on that clean change of clothes and a simple coat of mascara has a lot of power to make you feel a hell of a lot better 9. Learn new VOCAB - because why the fuck not? Write down your new words that you learn while reading, use them in conversations; expand your vocab, because when you are sitting in the exam room, you’ll be glad you have. 10. Plan an outing once a week - have something to look forward to, to be excited for. Experience new things. 11. Set small goals - 3 small things to do every day, and don’t sleep till you have them done. 3x365 knowledgeable achievements will be worth it - trust me 12. Meet new people - don’t be so quick to judge. 13. Love yourself - I’m still trying to figure this one out, but I’m beginning to feel like I am worth it. 14. Art - practice makes perfect. Work, and when you can’t work, learn. Discover artists and their pieces, their inspirations, their style. Document it. There is always something to do to improve, whether it be through practice or research. 15. Stick to these goddamn goals. 2015 will be the shit if I make it.”

I want to figure out what I feel, about everything. I want to know what I want. Everyday thoughts bombard me about everything. Three years and some months is such a long time.  I don't want to let things go, because we have been through a lot. However I expect so much from you, because I love you so much. I want you to be everything I deserve because I believe in you, I believe in us. Two days ago we would have made four years and two months, and that is also the day we figured out that we would give our relationship another try. Even though we aren't together, we are working things out again. I just want to be happy with you, I think. Sometimes I look at you and I feel like you do not want the same thing, but sometimes I do look at you and you look dedicated. I believe I just want to be happy and content with myself. Will it be with you? I want you to be the type of person that makes me not think of anyone else but you, the type of person that makes me not want to be single. You are so content in your ways that you feel like you do not have to put effort and I want you to be open-minded and put effort in us. I'll see how this shakes and bakes. 

Feeling Good, Living Better. 

Jerico Silvers

Last Night Festivities. I learned that my best friend is a very strong woman with dealing with certain things. In some aspects I do admire what she does and how she carries herself. Very Chilled Night, First Selfies of 2015. The summer of 2014, is when we became very close. We have been best friends since 2008, but the summer of 2014 it was something different. Maybe it was because we were both dealing with our "boyfriend" issues and we would vent to each other which brought us together, or maybe because we would see each other every other week and spend a weekend together. She was one of the people that made my summer truly special and I appreciate her for that.