20 pounds of fandom in a 5 pound bag

Goodnight, and rest in peace, Marjane Satrapi. Thank you for your work and your voice. May we hear you.

Killed this ant that came in the kitchen and the next day it came right back but it was holding a needle. Killed it again and it came back the next day wearing a cape and then I noticed I had a giant HP bar labeled KITCHEN BEHEMOTH and I was like man cmon dont call me that

i hope this email never finds you. i hope you are with the oul

HES SO HAPPY HE JUST LOVES FANS SO MUCH

During a hike a few years ago, I was, like, taking the proper tick precautions, tucking my pants into my socks, etc. and everyone was making fun of me for being so freaked about ticks, and later the topic of genie wishes came up and one of the girls there said, "I'd wish that ticks could fly so Newt would kill himself."

I appreciate the concern, but I laughed so hard I almost threw up.

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

you’ are biased against my skull

i’m not having this argument again man

Last night I had a vivid nightmare that I had a secret uncle that no one told me about that disappeared in the 1970s as a 6 year old and I went on this investigative journey to find his killer and bring him home and deal with this oppressive grief that had plagued my family for 50 years. Only one photo existed of him and he was this cute little blond toddler in overalls in my grandparents yard, which I’m pretty sure is a memory of an actual photo of my uncle I’ve seen. I woke up near tears mourning this poor dead kid that would have died 25 years before my birth and who never existed at all. Anyway, I don’t think I like melatonin.