Ernest Scribbler.

who is telling men that having gray in their hair is ugly. why are they fucking lying

who is telling women that having gray in their hair is ugly!!!!!!! why are they fucking lying!!!!!!!

I have to reblog this every time because frankly this is absolutely genius prose

“So, like, just to clarify, you don’t want the cameras, right? Only I need to make sure because sometimes people say no on the phone, and then when I’m leaving, they ask me why I haven’t installed the cameras yet, and I’m just like, that’s a you problem, I’m going home.”

“Hey, so I need to test the smoke alarm before we put it up, but I don’t want to frighten your little dog. I’ll try to muffle it, but you might want to hold her.” *clutching the alarm to his abdomen like Steve Rogers falling on a grenade* “I’m sorry little dog, I’m so sorry.”

Still can’t believe that this same man had to sit next to someone who could only say “My favorite thing about the movie is that it feels like a movie”…

“embrace ugliness” sure but why are women’s neutral traits considered ugliness in the first place

less romanticizing high school more media about how being 17 is the worst human experience imaginable

I've had enough of society being catered to morning people.. it's time for everything to be pushed back like two hours

when you have plans in the morning you can still live an eventful & fulfilling life afterwards but when you've got plans in the afternoon? well that's your whole day