AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

like what are you talking about. No one on this earth thinks hrt will make them look like anime. so the question is what are you using "anime girl" as shorthand for?

Because (though perhaps this is just me) I can't help but read this as incredibly condescending and, vaguelly transphobic?

The only way I can read this that makes, any sort of sense, is "get more realistic standards."

"There is only so much HRT can do for you, do not expect to look pretty."

or even "trans women need a reality check because you're all probably shut-in weeaboos with beauty standards based entirely on chinese cartoons."

A common toxic coping strategy for dysphoria is to decimate your emotional skills to try and align with masculinity.

Likewise, there is a big overlap with autism and that produces difficulty communicating until its acknowledged and healthy coping strategies are learned.

Hi, I have AuADHD, I have a traumatic brain injury, a very fucked up childhood, and my attempt to be more masculine was to socially amputate myself and punish myself for introspection until the age of 23 because i had a very surface level "outside looking in" view of the human experience and it was an excuse to try and control my emotions which were very intense. My mom also has auADHD undiagnosed and I think she may have nearly drank herself to death trying to cope before I turned 12.

I'm not transphobic to my knowledge (yes, transpeople can also be transphobic, we are not excused from shittiness), I'm not misogynistic to my knowledge, and I read a lot of feminist literature to understand "what the deal is", I read lots of psychology, and I'm very very trans.

If you engage with the post on a metaphorical level of values and what "anime girl" is a signifier of and what it means to a lot of folks instead of interpreting it very literally and it will make sense.

The hyperbole is there for a reason and going argument ad absurdum over some percieved slight isn't going to help you understand it.

A lot of transfolk's emotional development stops when puberty kicks in and only resumes after transition starts. Some of us are emotionally delayed. Hi, I'M emotionally delayed. I am in therapy about it and trying my best.

Its not that they're anime specifically, but that anime distills a lot of socialized expectations of feminine appearance by being hypernormalized -- so to a lot of people, all of the socialized anatomical markers people who lack the social skills to recognize the social component or the confidence component or the presentation component are there in a very exaggerated and clearly displayed way.

A lot of people look at things like body work and voice-work and fashion and makeup and don't have the money to practice these things or the confidence to be comfortable enough with failure to practice these things.

"I want to be an anime girl" is wishing one could skip to the end without doing the learning or understanding or suffering.

The point of the post is to say "you need to reconsider what femininity is".

This is such a common phenomenon all over the world that there are long running stories about it that many transfems have found quite helpful actually, myself included?

You might find it condescending.

I actually genuinely found it incredibly helpful.

Before you go to the keyboard and start angrily typing or trying to make a fight out of this:

IDK if its media literacy but there is this idea inside media literacy that recognizing the target audience of something is part of the skillset.

Maybe its not meant for you. It was definately meant for me.

That you didn't need the message doesn't mean some of us didn't need the message. Social stuff is confusing as hell and I'm not very well learned in it so I hold myself to absurd standards which are unattainable.

The point of it is to say "you won't look like the rediculous ideals you have, because they're rediculous but you will look like your mom who's clearly indisputably a woman despite also not meeting those ideals.

I SUPER needed to hear that.

I'd literally just done FFS and I was still obsessing over the negative.

I was so redicuously dissociated that hyperbole was one of the only things which could cut through and reach me.

After it, I reconnected with my mom, saw some photos of her when she was my age and I had a very, very, very long cry.

You didn't need that.

I absoloutely 10000% needed that.

I have spent my entire 20's and 30's getting over the need to flinch from every percieved slight against me with a fist.

I might not have seen the discourse you've had about the posts in private on a corner of tumblr about the posts, but I have seen the posts and I have seen many of them.

Could you point me toward a post or thread that qualifies what you're saying or make one so we're on the same page?

I'd like to know what you know that I don't know.

I'm allowed to be angry about the abuse I have experienced under the patriarchy and are transphobic/homophobic/racist society and I am allowed to be angry about the fact that spaces where I was previously allowed to express this anger and spaces that celebrated that anger now think it's OK to throw me back to the system that originally abused me because I have facial hair now so I'm too scary to be in these #rightious-girl-rage spaces. And I'm very much allowed to be angry about the fact that people have decided me being angry about being abused by both cishet-patriarchal society and also queer feminist circles is the same as white cishet men being celebrated for their violence.

So go fuck yourself.

This is a post about how trans men prior to our transitions build communities through constructive anger and then once we transitioned are forcibly removed from those spaces and pushed back into spaces where will be comtiunted to be abused by the cishet normative society and patriarchy.

This is a post about how we're not allowed to express our emotions once cis women can no longer view us as "special-afab-person" and are forced to actually view us as men then decide we are disgusting and threatening for existing post-transition.

So go fuck yourself.

Cis male anger in media might be celebrated, but transmasculine anger is punished by everyone and everything from the healthcare system to feminist circles, from the patriarchy to the pride parade. It's made clear by everyone the ideal trans man is completely silent at all times and certainly never voices complaint when he is abused.

It's made clear that the trans man will be punished if he is angry about being sexually assulated, he will be punished of he is angry about facing domestic abuse, he will be punished if he is angry about dealing with medical abuse, he will be punished if he is angry about the circles he will have to jump through to get the same privileges that were handed to him when he presented as a cis woman, he will be punished if he is angry about the spaces he helped build kicking him about after he starts testoerone, he will be punished if he is angry about the stigmatizion surrounding his HRT or GRS/SRS, and by God, he will be punished if he is angry about being punished for his compeltley reasonable emotional reaction to him being angry about being abused. In all situations, any expression of emotion will be used to punish him.

transfemme people also face backlash for feminine rage if they don’t pass. trans people in general face major backlash when they do anything not seen to fit in their fucking gender because god forbid they be people or feel emotions and lash out. we at least have reason to lash out because no matter what we do we’re spit on by society. we’re treated like a sick joke. and mocked and locked out of spaces even amongst ourselves because god some one not fucking perfect be trans or else that’s how everyone will perceive. the scapegoat.