Screaming Posssum

I'm the author of the former Muppet Joker blog and character. You may know me from my silly fictional scenarios and pretend muppet fixation.

"Pretend."

Oh, how the mighty fall.

It started as a bit, but unfortunately the personality traits and, ahem, interests of my Muppet Joker character began to infiltrate and eventually take over my life. My wife was sickened by my Muppet Lust and left me, taking our son. I was fired from my job because I kept Joker Laughing at the customers.

I am trying to fight the monster I have created within me and I am losing the battle. But at least I am in speaking terms with my beautiful wife again.

No longer am I posting "in character," but as my true self with the raw, messy account of my life. Yes, some aspects are exaggerated, like my job at the Dangerous Chemical Factory (...it doesn't JUST sell dangerous chemicals. It also sells deadly sharks).

There will not be a comedically elaborate DNI. That was childish and not representive of who I am. Instead, I will eventually be attaching a flow-chart to more clearly illustrate who is and is not allowed to look at my posts. Please read the whole thing before interacting.

Yes, it was a Bit. But it's not a Bit anymore. You think I would lie to the internet? Twice?

Anyways. Enjoy the madness. And... Heh.

Run while you can.

Starscream did not want to die an insignificant mech. He did not want to die small, unremarkable, and unremembered. No, he was destined for more, he had to be.

“It’s Megatronus!” Someone whispers. Immediately Starscream turned his helm. Sure enough, the prime was standing at an elevated podium, looking through the crowd before him. Were they going to be personally trained by Megatronus Prime himself?

He could hear him speaking, but the words didn’t process. Starscream was preoccupied with other thoughts, with a realization: he had to be the best. He would work until he was falling into pieces if it meant he’d get to be at the top, to be the leader of the high guard, to be Megatronus Prime’s right-hand man.

— — — — —

Takes place before the events of Transformers One. How Starscream came to be the leader of the High Guard, how in becoming that he formed a relationship with Megatronus Prime, and we all know how it ends.

Here are some crazy grasshopper mouse facts for those who are not familiar with the most badass mouse species on the planet

- They are primarily carnivorous, and their diet is made up of not only bugs but also snakes, lizards and other mice.

- They hunt like true predators, slowly stalking and creeping up on their prey before ambushing them. They will sometimes let out a screech as they attack.

- Like wolves, they howl to establish territory and have a specially developed throat to produce louder vocalizations. They will stand up on their hind legs and throw their head back to howl- a sound that can be heard from 100 meters away!

- Grasshopper mouse behavior is linked to lunar cycles and they are more active during a full moon.