Part Of The Doot Doot Patrol

i’m looking for a romantic way to say i hope you think about me when you masturbate sometimes

In the deepest, calmest hours of the night when you have naught but your own company, I hope my image fills you with bliss.

Wow.

wtf that sounds like something a 90 year old barn owl would say. if someone said that to me i would never masturbate again for the rest of my life

Did you know there’s an outtake from the 2000 Grinch movie where Jim Carrey leans in real close to Jeffrey Tambor’s face and then rips off Tambor’s prosthetic nose with his teeth

we’ve started feeding this tortoiseshell-point siamese recently. she’s beautiful, aside from the fact she has disturbingly big, bulging blue eyes. we’ve started calling her… ‘goop’

LIL GOOPS

/r/choosingbeggars is the only good Subreddit I’ve decided

This is so cursed I swear I lost five years of life

Period

G*d people really acting like a bartender with student debt showed up to a photoshoot with a $10,000 wardrobe in tow. That’s not how any of this works.

this post just changed my whole life

the fuck are you looking at? what’s down there