cass

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

They found a fossilized neanderthal dream in a hollow stump in Poland. And yes, it can be fermented into alcohol to gain his cave memories.

They closed down the La Brea tar pits bc they found a dinosaur ideology preserved in tar.

I Saw The Money Grow

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties

happy june everybody i hope you get fucked and/or sucked this month

what if we don't wanna be?

the "Turn everyone into rodents now" act, as well as its proponents, have been ratified

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old