schwamb aka dizzidreams

Bonus:

第一章：转世投胎 （简）

“欢天喜地，魏无羡死了！”

乱葬岗之征还不到一天为止，这消息就不翼而飞地传遍了整个修真世界。它的速度可比上当时战火蔓延一般，甚至过之。

突然间，无论是氏家名门，还是流浪修士，每人都在议论这由四大氏家率领、数百门派参加的讨伐活动。

“厉害，果然是厉害！到底是哪位英雄好汉杀死了夷陵老祖？”

“还能是谁？不就是他师弟，江派小掌门江澄嘛？云梦江氏，兰陵金氏，姑苏蓝氏，清河聂氏四大家族带头作战，大义灭亲，将魏无羡那巢穴一把覆灭了。”

“我得说：干得好。”

立刻有人拍手叫好：“是啊，干得好！若不是云梦江氏收养他，这魏无羡早就落为一个乡下无名的流氓，还管啥别的！江派老掌门还把他当亲儿子一样啊。你看他这样子：公然叛逃，以众家为敌，彻底丢了云梦江氏的脸，差点儿把他们一共拖下水。哪人叫做叛徒？就是他！”

“万万没想江澄竟然会宽容这小子如此肆无忌惮。若是我，他第一次叛逃的时候，不仅刺他一刀，也将会把他逐出家门！这么做，免得给他一次机会做出那些丧心病狂的事。面对这种人，过往的童年友谊还算得了什么？”

“我听说的可不一样。魏婴的那一套邪术不是适得其反了么，害得他竟然被自己手下的恶鬼支解吞噬？听说还被活活嚼碎了啊。”

“哈哈哈哈！这就叫罪有应得。我本想说，他养的那一批鬼将就像一群没拴紧的疯狗，到处咬人。最后，自己还是被它们咬死。自找！”

“虽如此，要不是这小江掌门没有按照夷陵老祖的弱点而计划这次进攻，恐怕就没有打胜的把握呢。别忘了，魏无羡手上戴着的那一样东西，当夜害得三千多位名门修士全军覆没，碎尸万段。”

“不是五千吗？”

“三千五千也差不多。五千是比较有可能的。”

“他可真是丧心病狂…”

“他临死之死前毁掉了阴虎符，这还可以赞誉一下。要不然留住那样鬼东西，让它到处为祸人间，看来他的罪孽必定会加重啊。”

一提到“阴虎符”，众人默默无言，仿佛对这事保持警惕。须臾，有人唉声叹气。

“哟…说这个魏无羡，他当年乃是一名杰出的氏家公子，又不是没有什么功劳的啊。年少成名，风流潇洒…到底如何落成这么一个的下场？”

主题改变了，人人又高声纷纷议论。

“这是理所当然，由目前的情况来看，修道必定走正道。邪魔外道也不过只是风光一时。还觉得自己很光彩的吗？哼，最后还是得了这种结果。”

有人扬声道：“死无全尸！”

“不只是因为他道路的原因。最后，还是因为这魏无羡是一个品性恶劣的人，搞得天怒人怨。所谓善恶必有报，人在做，天在看哦…”

…

魏无羡死后，人人对于他的品性再也无机辩驳。之后的评论也大大相近，唯有任何异议之声，也会立即受到压制。

可是，一股阴沉沉的感觉仍然牢牢笼罩着众人的心头。

夷陵老祖魏无羡虽在乱葬岗死于非命，但他魂魄的碎片依然还是招不出来的。

也许，他的魂魄是被一百万个厉鬼支解吞噬。

也许是飞到九霄云外。

若是第一种场景，人间自然皆大欢喜。但这夷陵老祖拥有翻天覆地，移山填海的才能——至少，传说中也是这么说的。他若是想防止自己的魂魄被招回来，也算了如指掌。一旦他灵魂日后再出现，夺舍投胎，那整个修真世界——甚至于整个人间——会受到更大的报复，沉浸于一片无尽的血雨腥风。

于是，当那一百二十座专门镇山的石兽在乱葬岗的山峰上被立下之后，玄门氏家都经常进行招魂仪式。过程中也严格监控夺舍，处处打听异常的事件，尽力提高警觉。

第一年，风平浪静。

第二年，风平浪静。

第三年，风平浪静。

…

第十三年，仍是风平浪静。

因此，有更多人开始相信，也许这魏无羡根本没有那么了不起，也许他是真的灭亡了。

虽然他一时翻天覆地，但日后还是终有回报。

没有人能永远崇奉在神坛上。传说也毕竟是传说而已。

第一章：轉世投胎 （繁）

「歡天喜地，魏無羨死了！」

亂葬崗之徵還不到一天為止，這消息就不翼而飛地傳遍了整個修真世界。 它的速度可比上當時戰火蔓延一般，甚至過之。

突然間，無論是氏家名門，或是流浪修士，每人都在議論這由四大氏家率領、數百門派參加的討伐活動。

「厲害，果然是厲害！到底是哪位英雄好漢殺死了夷陵老祖？」

「還能是誰？不就是他師弟，江派小掌門江澄嘛？雲夢江氏，蘭陵金氏，姑蘇藍氏，清河聶氏四大家族帶頭作戰，大義滅親，將魏無羨慕 那巢穴一把覆滅了。」

「我得說：幹得好。」

立刻有人拍手叫好：「是啊，幹得好！若不是雲夢江氏收養他，這魏無羨慕早就落為一個鄉下無名的流氓，還管啥別的！江派老掌門還把他 當親兒子一樣啊。你看他這樣子：公然叛逃，以眾家為敵，徹底丟了雲夢江氏的臉，差點兒把他們一共拖下水。哪人叫做叛徒？就是他！」

「萬萬沒想江澄竟然會寬容這小子如此肆無忌憚。若是我，他第一次叛逃的時候，不僅刺他一刀，也將會把他逐出家門！這麼做，免得給他一次機會做出 那些喪心病狂的事。面對這種人，過往的童年友誼還算得了什麼？」

「我聽說的可不一樣。魏嬰的那一套邪術不是適得其反了麼，害得他竟然被自己手下的惡鬼支解吞噬？聽說還被活活嚼碎了啊。」

「哈哈哈哈！這就叫罪有應得。我本想說，他養的那一批鬼將就像一群沒拴緊的瘋狗，到處咬人。最後，自己還是被它們咬死。自找！」

「雖如此，要不是這小江掌門沒有按照夷陵老祖的弱點而計劃這次進攻，恐怕就沒有打勝的把握呢。別忘了，魏無羨手上戴著的那一樣東西，當夜 害得三千多位名門修士全軍覆沒，碎屍萬段。」

「不是五千嗎？」

「三千五千也差不多。五千是比較有可能的。」

「他可真是喪心病狂…」

「他臨死之死前毀掉了陰虎符，這還可以讚譽一下。要不然留住那樣鬼東西，讓它到處為禍人間，看來他的罪孽必定會加重啊。」

一提到「陰虎符」，眾人默默無言，彷彿對這事保持警戒。 須臾，有人唉聲嘆氣。

「喲…說這個魏無羨慕，他當年乃是一名傑出的氏家公子，又不是沒有什麼功勞的啊。年少成名，風流瀟灑…到底如何落成這麼一個的下場？」

主題改變了，人人又高聲紛紛議論。

「這是理所當然，由目前的情況來看，修道必定走正道。邪魔外道也不過只是風光一時。還覺得自己很光彩的嗎？哼，最後還是得了這種結果。」

有人揚聲道：「死無全屍！」

「不只是因為他道路的原因。最後，還是因為這魏無羨是一個品性惡劣的人，搞得天怒人怨。所謂善惡必有報，人在做，天在看哦…」

…

魏無羨死後，人人對於他的品性再也無機辯駁。 之後的評論也大大相近，唯有任何異議之聲，也會立即受到壓制。

可是，一股陰沉沉的感覺仍然牢牢籠罩著眾人的心頭。

夷陵老祖魏無羨慕雖在亂葬崗死於非命，但他魂魄的碎片依然還是招不出來的。

也許，他的魂魄是被一百萬個厲鬼支解吞噬。

也許是飛到九霄雲外。

若是第一種場景，人間自然皆大歡喜。 但這夷陵老祖擁有翻天覆地，移山填海的才能──至少，傳說中也是這麼說的。 他若是想防止自己的魂魄被招回來，也算瞭如指掌。 一旦他靈魂日後再出現，奪舍投胎，那整個修真世界——甚至於整個人間——會受到更大的報復，沉浸於一片無盡的血雨腥風。

於是，當那一百二十座專門鎮山的石獸在亂葬崗的山峰上被立下之後，玄門氏家都經常進行招魂儀式。 過程中也嚴格監控奪舍，處處打聽異常的事件，盡力提高警覺。

第一年，風平浪靜。

第二年，風平浪靜。

第三年，風平浪靜。

…

第十三年，仍是風平浪靜。

因此，有更多人開始相信，也許這魏無羨根本沒有那麼了不起，也許他是真的滅亡了。

雖然他一時翻天覆地，但日後還是終有回報。

沒有人能永遠崇奉在神壇上。 傳說也畢竟是傳說而已。

Translator’s notes

转世投胎 (Original: 重生)

转世投胎 pertains more to “reincarnation”, as represented in the English translation, than “rebirth”, as represented by 重生.

欢天喜地，魏无羡死了！(Original: 魏无羡死了。大快人心！)

I find that 欢天喜地 is possibly closer to “rejoice”, as represented in the English translation. On the other hand, 大快人心 carries more of an element of common relief and catharsis that is collectively experienced by a large group of people – in this case, the entire cultivation world. 

乱葬岗之征还不到一天为止 (Original: 乱葬岗大围剿刚刚结束，未及第二日)

刚刚结束，未及第二日 literally means “(the siege of Luanzang Gang) had just ended, and before it could reach the next day”. However, the English translation represents this as “it hadn’t been a day since the Siege of the Burial Mound”, which implies that the siege may still have been ongoing while the news was spreading. 

流浪修士 (Original: 山野散修)

The English translation represents this term as “rogue cultivators”.

还能是谁？不就是他师弟，江派小掌门江澄嘛？(Original: 还能是谁。他师弟小江宗主江澄呗)

The English translation represents the Jiang family as “Jiang sect”, instead of “Jiang clan”. As such, I chose 江派 per wuxia tradition.

Jiang Cheng’s title is represented as “sect leader” in the English translation, which is why I chose 掌门. In comparisoon, 宗主 is closer to “clan leader” in definition. 

我得说：干得好。(Original: 我得说句公道话：杀得好。)

干得好 is closer to “well done”, as represented by the English translation. However, 杀得好 contains a killing element, as in “good kill”. 

这魏无羡早就落为一个乡下无名的流氓，还管啥别的？(Original: 他魏婴这辈子就是个混迹乡野市井的庸徒……还谈什么别的？)

The English translation represents this description of Wei Wuxian’s birth as “a no-name street rat in the countryside”, which is why I went with the literal 乡下无名的流氓.

公然叛逃，以众家为敌，彻底丢了云梦江氏的脸，差点儿把他们一共拖下水。(Original: 公然叛逃，与百家为敌，丢尽了云梦江氏的脸，还害得江家几乎满门惨死。)

The English translation represents the last part of this sentence as “and almost doomed them to the same fate of extermination”. I went with a more colloquial slant with 差点儿把他们一共拖下水, so I definitely took some liberties with this one as well!

万万没想江澄竟然会宽容这小子如此肆无忌惮。(Original: 江澄居然就让这厮嚣张了这么久)

The English translation represents this reference to Wei Wuxian as “that guy”, so I went with 这小子. 厮 means “servant” or “subordinate”.

嚣张 means “arrogant”. The English translation represents this description of Wei Wuxian’s behaviour as “run amok”, which I interpreted to be 肆无忌惮.

这么做，免得给他一次机会做出那些丧心病狂的事。(Original: 否则他也没机会做出后来那些丧心病狂之事。)

否则他也没机会 more accurately translates to “otherwise he wouldn’t have had the chance”. The English translation represents this as “he wouldn’t have gotten the chance”, which I translated as 免得给他一次机会.

面对这种人，过往的童年友谊还算得了什么？(Original: 对这种人，还讲什么同门同修青梅竹马的情面。)

The English translation represents this as “childhood friendship”, which is why I chose 过往的童年友谊. To be precise, 同门同修 refers to the relationship between people studying under a common master or school (as Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had been), and 青梅竹马 carries a “childhood sweetheart” connotation to it. 

我听说的可不一样。魏婴的那一套邪术不是适得其反了么，害得他竟然被自己手下的恶鬼支解吞噬？听说还被活活嚼碎了啊。(Original: 可我听到的不是这样的啊？魏婴不是因为自己修炼邪术遭受反噬、受手下鬼将撕咬蚕食而死的吗？听说活活被咬碎成了齑粉呢。)

The English translation represents what happens to Wei Wuxian as “backfire”, which is why I went with the more oblique 适得其反. 遭受反噬 has a much stronger connotation.

鬼将 literally means “ghost general(s)”. The English translation simply represents this as “ghosts”, so I went with 恶鬼. 

撕咬蚕食而死 is a more dramatic turn of phrase than 支解吞噬, which I chose. The English translation represents this as “ripped apart and devoured”. 

碎成了齑粉 is similarly a rather dramatic turn of phrase, compared to 嚼碎, which was what I chose. The English translation represents this as “chewed to pieces”.

这就叫罪有应得。(Original: 这就叫现世报。)

现世报 is closer to the English translation’s “karma”, compared to 罪有应得 “deserved”, that I chose.

最后，自己还是被它们咬死。自找！(Original: 最后咬死自己，活该！)

活该 is closer to the English translation’s “well deserved”, compared to 自找 “he had been asking for it”, that I chose. 

一提到“阴虎符”，众人默默无言，仿佛对这事保持警惕。(Original: “阴虎符”三字一出，忽然一阵静默，似乎都在顾忌着什么。)

忽然一阵静默 is closer to the English translation’s “there was suddenly silence”, compared to my choice of 众人默默无言, which includes an unnecessary mention of an actor or a group of actors. 

顾忌 means “(having) worries or misgivings”. The English translation represents this as “wary of something”, which is why I chose 警惕 instead. 

说这个魏无羡，他当年乃是一名杰出的氏家公子，又不是没有什么功劳的啊。年少成名，风流潇洒…到底如何落成这么一个的下场？(Original: 要说这魏无羡，当年也是仙门之中极富盛名的世家公子，并非不曾有过佳迹。年少成名，何等风光恣意……究竟他是怎么走到这一步的……)

极富盛名 is closer to the English translation’s “extremely affluent and distinguished”, compared to the less detailed 杰出 “outstanding”, that I chose.

佳迹 means “wondrous deeds”. The English translation represents this as “accomplishments”, which is why I chose 功劳.

The English translation represents Wei Wuxian’s early life as “glorious and unbridled”, which is why I went with 风流潇洒.

邪魔外道也不过只是风光一时。还觉得自己很光彩的吗？(Original: 邪魔歪道，一时风光无限，好像很嚣张很了不起？)

很嚣张很了不起 very loosely translates to “arrogant (in the context of attracting a lot of attention) and amazing (in the context of being superior to and looking down on others)”. The English translation represents this description of unorthodox arts as “glamorous”, which is why I went with 光彩.

所谓善恶必有报，人在做，天在看哦…(Original: 所谓善恶终有报，天道好轮回……)

This is perhaps my favourite discrepancy so far! The English translation represents this as “the heavens are watching”. In reality, 天道好轮回 more loosely means “according to the law of heaven, (there will be) rebirth”. In the spirit of the English translation’s “the heavens are watching”, I went with 人在做，天在看. Special thanks to my friend @llonkrebboj for the discussion on this!

魏无羡死后，人人对于他的品性再也无机辩驳。(Original: 身死之后，盖棺定论。)

The English translation represents this part as “judgment of his character was no longer refutable”, which is why I went with the relatively more colloquial 人人对于他的品性再也无机辩驳.

可是，一股阴沉沉的感觉仍然牢牢笼罩着众人的心头。(Original: 只是每个人的心头都还有一缕阴霾挥之不去。)

The English translation represents this as “gloom” and “firmly enveloped”, which is why I chose the more literal 牢牢笼罩着.

也许是飞到九霄云外。(Original: 也许是逃逸了。)

The English translation represents the fate of Wei Wuxian’s soul as “escaped”. My choice of 九霄云外 was an artistic liberty!

人间自然皆大欢喜。(Original: 自然皆大欢喜普天同庆。)

普天同庆 means “a large celebration”. The English translation represents this as “a joyous occasion for the entire world”, which is why I went with 皆大欢喜.

整个修真世界——甚至于整个人间——会受到更大的报复，沉浸于一片无尽的血雨腥风。(Original: 玄门百家甚至整个人间必将迎来更加丧心病狂的报复和诅咒，陷入暗无天日和腥风血雨之中。)

The English translation represents the impact on the cultivation world as “cursed to face even greater vengeance”, which is why I chose 会受到更大的报复.

陷入暗无天日和腥风血雨之中 is closer to the English translation’s “sinking into an endless storm of darkness and blood”, compared to 沉浸于一片无尽的血雨腥风, that I chose. 

虽然他一时翻天覆地，但日后还是终有回报。(Original: 纵使曾经翻手为云覆手雨，也终归有一日成为被翻覆的那一个。)

翻手为云覆手雨 means “turning (his palm) one way to get clouds, and turning it the other way to get rain”, which is a dramatic turn of phrase describing the measure of his legendary abilities. The English translation represents this as “turned the world upside down”, which is why I chose the more literal 翻天覆地.

终归有一日成为被翻覆的那一个 is closer to the English translation’s “there had at last come a day when he was the one overturned”, compared to the more figurative 日后还是终有回报 “eventually, what goes around will come around”, that I chose.

Some post-translation observations

In this chapter, MXTX perfectly balances dramatic poeticism against a collection of colloquial third-party perspectives to set the scene for the rest of the novel. It’s a brilliantly-written piece full of expressive turns of phrases, which effortlessly balances an elegant narrative against vernacular dialogue; a blending of rumor and hearsay with elements of truth. Due to the first degree of translation to EN, it wasn’t easy to reflect these nuances back into CN; at times I found myself falling short; i.e. using simpler phrases than in the original. On other occasions, I tended to more use purple prose than was necessary.

Regional differences matter! My translation ended up sounding way more modern and localized (to my regional context) than intended, in terms of word choice and sentence structure.

Standards (水平) and personal style matter! I'm a native speaker, but as my experience is more conversational than classical, I had a much easier time with the dialogue than with the exposition.

There were a couple of deviations in the EN translation that could have been artistic liberties. However, when reflected back into CN, the differences in meaning were fairly stark. It’s entirely possible, though, that the official EN translation team may have been referencing a different set of raws.

All in all, this was fun! Comparing my translation against the raws helped me realize how much nuance can be lost in translation, and the influence that things like our education, regional upbringing, etc have on individual translation styles. This exercise has helped me to gain a better understanding of the translation process, as well as a greater appreciation for fandom translators. There is no such thing as “one correct translation” — everything is relative to the translator and their relationship with the text. To this end, I believe the more translators set to work on a piece of text, the more we can learn from each other, and the more people reading the varying translations would benefit from the experience. To all my friends who are fandom translators, 在此敬你一杯！🥃