nonschizophrenics will simply never understand that "what if it was all in the person's head?" will never be scarier than a monster that actually fucking exists.

Obviously the answer is probably research, but even with research i see the criteria presented in diagnostic articles and I go "ok, but what does that look like?" It's hard to discern all the medical terminology as well as not have a frame of reference for the symptoms they're talking about. It's even harder to diagnose when you've been dealing with something for so long you can't tell if what you're experiencing is just something that kinda... happens, or is actually a sign of something else. Like, it's normal to me, but I realize as someone whose been living with mental illness all my life my perception of what feels "normal" is incredibly skewed and probably not to be trusted. Hope this all makes sense

I understand how you feel! Its very difficult to discern your experience from others and understand what is normal or abnormal. The biggest thing is just fitting the diagnostic criteria. I fit the publicly available diagnostic information to a T and decided to get diagnosed by professional. Whether you want to go through that process in the current climate is up to you. This criteria sheet helped me understand a lot.

If you find yourself going through it thinking "yes I believe that, but I also know it isn't true" that is a very schizotypal impulse.

genuinely, if you don't feel attraction (of any sort! not just sexual), consider that you're A-spec!! being traumatized does not mean you cannot be A-spec, just like it doesn't mean you can't be gay or trans!

the idea that you need to "fix" your attraction to be "mentally healthy" is an anti-LGBT myth, although one that's unfortunately still common in regards to A-spec folks.

and even if you are actually allosexual/-romantic/-platonic and you'll (re)develop attraction as you recover, there is literally no good in forcing yourself to feel it; forcing intimacy is unhealthy, encourages self-loathing when you inevitably don't enjoy it, and leaves you incredibly vulnerable to abuse.

Someone who is not as outwardly expressive as expected, who is withdrawn and not really forthcoming with information, creates a sense of mystery for people. And like any mystery, people want to solve it. And when it comes to someone labelled as "mysterious", people feel a sense of obligation to "solve" that mystery—either to get to know them, to find a way to change them, perceivably "fixing" them, or something similar.

For schizoid individuals, it creates this sense of unwanted attention from people who cannot be satisfied with receiving nothing. At first impression, it's all about the fantasy—look at this stoic person who doesn't pay attention to anyone or care about anyone, imagine if they made an exception for me, imagine if I could get to see their "true" self.

You're not going to get this from a schizoid individual. This is a fantasy you're projecting onto them—that they're something special, something to be saved or explored. Don't expect an emotional response from someone who's frequently emotionally dissociated, it's not going to end up well for either of you.

And it's so common for schizoids to see themselves as not possessing any sense of personality, to be filled with a void. To try to dig deeper against what they're willing to show you, it's violating and can be perceived as controlling or exploitative, which can cause further withdrawal.

I do not speak for all schizoids, but I do speak for myself when I say to not try and make us into something different.

cyclopsrose helped me write this guide on supporting someone with StPD–Schizotypal Personality Disorder. This illness doesn’t get enough representation, so thank you for all your help!

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1.     There’s this misconception that people with StPD don’t want to have friends. We do want to have friends and we do value friendship, but we have difficulty maintaining friendships because it’s exhausting for us. It takes a lot of energy for us to be social. When we’re with other people, we sometimes have a hard time relating to other people, and thus we may feel we don’t belong, or we don’t quite fit in. This may cause us to feel irritated, paranoid, or even in pain during social situations.

So if we start to drift away it most likely isn’t a reflection of you. Keep in touch with us. Just send us a text every once in a while reminding us that you still want to be our friend.

2.     On that note, because socializing is exhausting for people with StPD, sometimes we need time alone to “recharge,” which is similar to what people with social anxiety experience. Unfamiliar social situations with unfamiliar people can be especially distressing for us. While you may have the best intentions, encouraging us to hang out more “for our own good” may just cause us more anxiety.

3.     It’s hard for us to keep up in conversations. We have a hard time translating our thoughts into words that other people understand. You may notice that sometimes we seem to “shut down,” giving one-word responses or just using body language. Again, this doesn’t mean we’re bored, nor is it a reflection of you: talking is just hard for us, that’s all. Please try not to take it personally. If we’re still making an effort to maintain a friendship with you, odds are we really value you.

4.     Socializing is exhausting in part because we have to manage our anxiety stemming from our fear of being “odd” or “different.” We’re intensely afraid of being judged or labeled as such. Telling us that the way we think, dress, or act is “weird” doesn’t help us at all; this type of criticism is actually what gets to us most. Don’t tell us that we need to change, even in a joking matter.

5.     Much of StPD is distressing: the anxiety we feel maintaining friendships and opening up to people, the paranoia regarding how we think others perceive us, and the depression. But not everything about StPD, especially the part about our personality, needs to be changed or needs treatment. We like our individuality; how we think, feel, dress, act, and speak is unique! While we do need support to help us get through the depression, anxiety etc and we do seek treatment for these symptoms, we don’t need to change who we are. We’re not looking to be completely rid of our StPD.

Again, telling us that we’re “weird” or “different” just makes it hard for us to trust you. We are much more comfortable if we’re encouraged to express ourselves the way we want.

6.     Sometimes we have a hard time interpreting social cues. We’re always looking for signs that we don’t belong or that you think we’re weird. It really helps when you reassure us that you don’t hate us, even if it seems obvious to you that you care for us.

7.     Part of StPD involves a symptom called “magical thinking,” which is similar to what people with OCD or schizophrenia may experience. We’ll see ordinary things—such as character on TV looking into the camera—and feel it’s a sign meant for us—that TV character is directly communicating with us or using the TV to spy on us. We may be paranoid that someone is out to kill us, or that someone is trying to read our thoughts. Sometimes we’re aware that what we’re feeling is not based on reality, but sometimes we aren’t. These experiences, in the heat of the moment, feel extremely real to us. After the thoughts have passed, we usually can see that these “signs” weren’t signs at all, and we can even laugh it off sometimes. But magical thinking is a symptom of StPD, and has nothing to do with intelligence. If we tell you about one of our delusions, don’t laugh at us or tell us we’re “too intelligent” to believe these things. An easy way to help us without furthering the delusion is to say “Do you need space to calm down?”, and then you can take us away from the distressing situation and to a safe space instead.

1. I feel nothing and have nothing to talk about

2. I hate you/think you're evil/think you're plotting again me

3. I think you hate me/think I'm evil/think I'm doing something bad

4. I think this isn't working and the things you tell me don't help me

5. Your analysis of what I'm going through is wrong

6. You're making me feel angry/sad/useless/stupid

7. I feel like you're secretly trying to communicate [x] to me because you said [y]

8. I've just been trying to guess what you want me to say and saying it

9. I'm suffering because of things I can only describe as otherworldly or spiritual or not of this world

yes, i also have a lot of crazy ideas that i believe and i see and hear things that aren't there and sometimes i start freaking out because i think someone close to me died when they're perfectly fine or that someone's coming to kill me or that my pets have been replaced with alien creatures, but i'm also a person with a life and a childhood and friends and i am not a threat to anyone.

and i'm here. on tumblr. on youtube. in real life. i can see and hear what everyone says about people like me. and i'm fucking tired of it.