Maya

TEEN GOJO who slams the door to your room open without a care in the world, his stride unnaturally purposeful. You whipping your head around, battle ready, just to see a dumbass dramatically checking your shelf of trinkets. Unbothered by your presence as he snatches your possessions from the shelf. Shuffling through your personal collection of books, picking them out as if in a public library. Satoru strolls out of your room satisfied, his arms cradling several of your belongings. Leaving you staring at the door, wide-eyed with bewilderment.

TEEN GOJO who constantly flicks your forehead no matter where you are, staring at the blackboard as Yaga explained the consequences of overexertion in battle, practicing your cursed techniques in the courtyard, bickering in an abandoned building as you scout out a special grade… Managing to swerve and dodge inexhaustible attacks of First Grade cursed spirit you were able to maim quite competently.. Preparing yourself to land a killing strike, your engrossment in the battle was ruptured. A perfect circular cavity was present in the cursed spirit’s body, making its remaining flesh a simple hollow shell. Your eyes rounded as you peered straight through the sizable hole, a pair of blue eyes glimmering with complacency stared back at you through the corpse; now collapsed to the ground in a flourish of dust particles. Your mouth hung open as he made his way to you, the swagger in satoru’s pace made you grit your teeth. A frown pulled on your features as you stared up at the giraffe standing before you; a smug grin tugged on his lips and hands placed nonchalantly in his pockets. Your mouth flung open to scold him when you were interrupted; a forceful and sharp pain in your forehead made you flinch. You stared at him, baffled. He had flicked you. The twig fingered bastard stole your final blow and then flicked you. 

TEEN GOJO, who finds it unfortunate that your sense of emotional development hasn’t matured either. Every time the scamp would flick your head with his boney fingers, you stooped down to his level, reaching up to him to give him a taste of his own medicine. Only for him to veer from your vengeful attack. You made do with punching him in the gut every time he violated your poor forehead. Most times when you get caught up in your dispute, it compromises your mission. Earning a strong scolding and punishment from Yaga. 

TEEN GOJO who would constantly wear your clothes, prancing around campus pretending to be you. You would walk into a room and look up to see a sight to behold. Satoru flailing and mocking you with overzealous facial expressions, a high-pitched voice to top it off. You just stand there in the doorway as he performs for Suguru and Shoko, their giggles evaporate as they caught sight of your boiling fury. It takes satoru longer than it should have to notice his audience’s sudden silence, and even longer for him to turn around. When he does he does it with a flourish, halting in his tracks as he locks eyes with yours. Suguru and Ieiri take their leave swiftly as your hands balled up into fists. Not long after, satoru could be seen trailing you - or should I say being dragged by the ear - half naked, your clothes disheveled, assuringly ripped straight from his body. 

TEEN GOJO who would use his infinity every time you tried to hit him, he learned the hard way how hard your blows are. He turns his infinity on subconsciously, often forgetting he has such a power, or fearing your deadly blows and might would shatter her infinity somehow. Every time you try to hit satoru, he lets out a deafening shriek, almost inhumane. The first time he did it was during a class ridden with silence, satoru tiptoed from behind you, plotting to tip your chair back. A squeal made everybody turn around, beheld with the sight of satoru on the ground, hands up in frightened defense, and you on top of him, your chair held high over your head. He can never outlive that embarrassment of a moment. 

TEEN GOJO who would make unnecessary and stupid scenarios at the most random times. Including the less convenient times too. It annoyed not just you, but everyone else too. Satoru would scan the elders facial expressions contort as he asked about the effects of cursed energy during, uh… A mischievous grin appearing on his face as well as slowly appearing on yours. Respect for higher powers wasn’t Satoru’s strong suit, neither was it yours, although you knew when to shut up.. Satoru on the other hand obviously did not. You couldn’t count the number of times you shoved a hysterical satoru with your elbow - multiple times in fact - as a quite stoic elder stood before you. Yet he wouldn’t shut up, until Masamichi gave you both punishment. 

TEEN GOJO who would be weirdly affectionate to you. Coming up behind you and laying his head on yours, casually flopping onto the couch that you were sitting on laying his feet or his head on your lap as if you were merely a part of the sofa, leaning on your shoulder whenever he gets tired of standing. You could call it a blessing, until you had to deal with a lanky piece of dead weight on your back, or bring mercilessly dragged everywhere as repercussion from the leverage he has over you - with his height, leverage over everybody..

TEEN GOJO who would boast and jeer when you got injured, him being nearly untouchable only encouraged his nuisance behavior. He would be walking past the infirmary dangerously slow, purposefully and noisily gloating about how he didn’t earn a scratch on that mission. You just stared holes into the strongest with an unamused roll of your eyes. Satoru pretended not to notice you, snickering as he kept crowing down the hallway.

TEEN GOJO and you who would provoke each other with ultimatums - one would call it childish games. Who can chug the most sake without passing out? Who can take down the most cursed spirits in a limited amount of time? Who can make it from one side of Jujutsu campus to the other without touching the ground or roof? The latter would end up with destroyed walls, startled staff, and a very disappointed and exhausted principal. But none of it ever created a rift between you too, but it developed your chemistry. Competitive delinquency at its finest. 

TEEN GOJO who - you never thought would - listens to all your stories and every thought you had to share. Remembering even the littlest things that you forgot about yourself. Years of information accumulated in his head, down to your specific moods that made you fancy certain things. You always thought he tuned you out, or at least didn’t care about what you had to say. After all, your friendship was built off of bullying and smart remarks. You didn’t mind anyhow, you weren’t expectant of that. His mind always seemed busy, yet he recalls the feelings and opinions you had about foods, tv shows, behaviors. It baffled you every time he made a quick remark or joke you just had to stop and stare. 

TEEN GOJO who would drag you outside, far away from campus borders in the middle of the night. His hand seizing yours with a grip that makes it hard for you to believe that you could ever let go.. Not that you would ever want to. He takes you to an abandoned park, clear from cursed spirits in which he annihilated before hand, grass and other shrubbery peeking through cracks in the concrete, moss scattered across paths where residents once tread. He led you up a hill and into a clearing, pale moonlight poured into the open glade where a destroyed building had opened up and shrouded over with green, a sight to remember.. That night you didn’t get a second of sleep. Exploring the buildings and making quips at each other, only finally resting on the meadow when the moon departed and the sun bathed the surface. 

TEEN GOJO who after a long day, makes himself at home in your room, always seemingly searching for your presence. Helps himself to your cash of snacks hidden behind a cabinet while you’re asleep, he knows you keep a variety of his favourite sweet treats for him like you knew he would be rummaging through the stash. He finds comfort in simply lying with you, whether you are conscious or not, cracking jokes or having deep conversations. Satoru’s arms crossed, propping his head up to stare at the ceiling, his head turns to you. He notices the way your features fall as they sit relaxed, how peaceful your breathing pattern is. Soon, his eyelids feel heavy and he falls asleep with you, arm draped across your shoulders and his snores jumbled with yours.

© thewanderingkaya 2025, please do not copy, credit any of my work, or reupload or translate to other platforms.

so you march up to him, confidence radiating from every step, your brightest, most charming smile in place. “do you wanna play with me?” the question is simple, the answer should be obvious. but he does not even look up. “i’d rather study,” he replies, tone flat, uninterested. you blink. what? scandalized, you stare at him as if he has just insulted your entire lineage. no one—not one person—has ever turned you down before.

but you are not one to give up easily. if he will not play with you, then you will simply have to play with him. for days, you follow him around, unfazed by his dismissals, chattering away as if he has already accepted your presence. he speaks of numbers and patterns, things you do not understand, but that does not matter. “yeah! i’m trying to study how red and white makes pink too!” you declare, nodding with the same intensity as him. he squints at you, skeptical, but does not tell you to leave. it is progress, a victory, and you grin, certain of one thing—soon enough, gojo satoru will be yours.

february arrives in a flurry of pink and red, ribbons and glitter, love and admiration wrapped up in shiny paper. in the warmth of the kitchen, you sit perched on a stool, small hands carefully piping pink icing onto a tray of chocolates. your nanny helps, guiding your every move, but the love you pour into each swirl and heart-shaped decoration is all yours. it is important that they are perfect, because these are for him. gojo satoru. your prince, your future husband—he just doesn’t know it yet. you imagine the way his face will light up when you give them to him, how he will finally understand that he is special to you, that you adore him, that he should adore you too.

but when the moment comes, it is nothing like the fairytales. standing before him, chocolates cradled in your hands, your heart beats like a hummingbird’s wings. you are shy for the first time in your life, cheeks warm, fingers twitching as you present your hard work. satoru barely glances at them before frowning. “you shouldn’t eat too much chocolate,” he says, matter-of-fact, like he’s reciting a textbook. “it’s unhealthy. bad for your teeth.” and then—he doesn’t take them. your breath catches, the world shifts, and you don’t understand why it feels like the ground has been ripped out from under you.

you sob in the hallway, fat tears rolling down your cheeks, staining the sleeves of your dress as you bury your face in them. the walls, once grand and full of warmth, now feel cold and suffocating, closing in on you as your chest heaves with the unfairness of it all. why did he do that? why didn’t he want them? you made them for him, with so much love, so much effort, and he just… rejected them. the sting is unbearable, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. the other kids watch with wide eyes, but you don’t care—you cry until your nanny finds you and scoops you up, whispering reassurances that do little to mend the ache in your tiny heart.

satoru, meanwhile, sits at his desk, bewildered. he doesn’t know what he did wrong, only that your face crumpled and your eyes filled with tears and then you were gone. at home, he asks his dad for advice, confused and restless, something tight and unfamiliar pressing against his chest. “you should apologize,” his father says, as if it’s obvious, as if it’s easy. so satoru thinks, hard, determined to make it up to you, and remembers something he read once—carrots are good for the eyes. and you have very pretty eyes. logically, this means that carrots will make you happy again.

the next day, you march into class with a fresh resolve: you will not think about gojo satoru. you will not look at him, you will not speak to him, and you will certainly not remember the way he broke your heart with his stupid, stupid words. but just as you take your seat, still clutching the remnants of your righteous fury, a shadow falls over your desk. you glance up, and there he is—gojo satoru, standing stiffly in front of you, an unreadable expression on his face. before you can tell him to leave, he shoves something at you, small hands gripping it tightly as if it holds the answer to all the world’s problems.

a carrot. a whole, unpeeled carrot, straight from someone’s fridge, still a little cold in his palm. “here,” he announces, dead serious. “carrots. for your eyes.” you blink, slowly, processing. surely, surely, you misheard him. “...what?” your voice is hesitant, unsure if this is some elaborate joke, but satoru just nods, like this is obvious, like he is being generous.

“they’re good for you,” he explains, pushing the carrot closer, his tiny fingers wrapped around it with a kind of solemn determination. your jaw drops. of all the things he could have done to fix his crime, this—this root vegetable—is what he chose? is he mocking you? is this some nerd thing that you don’t understand? the insult is too great, the betrayal too fresh, and suddenly, all the grief and rage you’ve been holding in erupts.

“i don’t want your stupid carrots!!” you shriek, shoving his hand away so forcefully that the carrot goes flying across the room. it bounces off a desk, rolls onto the floor, and lands unceremoniously near the cubbies, an innocent casualty in the war between you and gojo satoru. silence follows. the entire classroom, once lively with chatter, falls into stunned quiet as every pair of eyes turns to watch the scene unfold. you are furious, fists clenched at your sides, breathing hard as you glare at him like he is the worst thing to ever exist.

and satoru—poor, poor satoru—looks devastated. his mouth falls open, hands still frozen in mid-air where the carrot used to be, his eyes wide with something that looks far too much like heartbreak for a boy who doesn’t even know what he did wrong. “but…” he stammers, blinking rapidly as if trying to make sense of what just happened. “but they’re good for your eyes.” his voice cracks at the end, the first sign of his impending doom, but you don’t care. you spin on your heel, nose in the air, and storm away before he can say another word.

satoru stands there, lost, humiliated, still staring at the spot where the carrot landed. his ears burn with the whispers of his classmates, with the quiet giggles and curious glances, but none of it matters. all that matters is that he tried—he really tried—and somehow, it only made things worse. his hands tremble as he clenches them into fists, his throat tight with something unfamiliar, something sharp and awful. 

you decide you hate him. you call him a boring nerd, cross your arms, and vow to never waste another second of your time on him. he had his chance. he ruined it. as far as you’re concerned, gojo satoru is no longer a prince, no longer special—just an insufferable, glasses-wearing, know-it-all who doesn’t deserve you. but as you go back to playing with the other kids, ignoring him completely, satoru sits at his desk, staring at the abandoned carrot and wondering why his chest feels so empty. girls, he concludes, make no sense at all.

later, when his father picks him up from school, he sits in the backseat, staring out the window, blinking rapidly to stop the tears that threaten to spill over.

he doesn’t understand. he might never understand. but one thing is clear—girls, especially you, are impossible.

high school is hell. not because of the schoolwork—you don’t struggle with that, never have—but because everything else is crumbling, slipping through your fingers no matter how hard you try to hold it together. your father does not bother to hide it anymore, coming home late with his collar stained in red, his shirts reeking of perfume too sweet, too floral to belong to your mother. you wonder if he even bothers to wash her scent off before climbing into bed beside his wife, if he kisses your mother with lips that just touched another woman. your mother, poised and perfect, does not react. she doesn’t cry, doesn’t fight, doesn’t care. because she has her own secrets, her own whispered rendezvous, her own sins tucked neatly behind closed doors.

the house is still beautiful, still immaculate, still cold. marble floors that gleam under the chandelier, long dining tables set with silverware that never sees real use, portraits of a perfect family hanging in hallways that have forgotten what warmth feels like. your parents sit across from each other at dinner, exchanging pleasantries, empty words over untouched meals, and you think you might go insane if you have to sit through another one of these nights. they are both living their own separate lives, tied together by name only, playing pretend for the world. you are the only one left suffocating under the weight of their act.

so you leave. not forever, not in a way that anyone would notice—but enough. enough to get away, enough to escape the sterile perfection of a home that does not feel like home anymore. the city is alive in a way your house never is, buzzing with neon lights and laughter, thrumming with music that drowns out the thoughts in your head. and when you step out, chin high, gaze sharp, the world takes notice. men—older boys, college students, strangers—watch you, eyes trailing after you like dogs chasing a scent, greedy and hungry, waiting for you to acknowledge them.

but you don’t. you let them look, let them stare, let them want. you know you’re beautiful—people have been telling you that your whole life. they say it in different ways, in lingering glances, in hushed whispers, in the way they hover just close enough to hope you’ll look back. but you never do. you don’t need them. you just need the feeling—the rush of knowing you are seen, that you are something more than just a girl trapped in a perfect, broken home.

dress code violation. again. they don’t even send a note home anymore, don’t waste their time dialing numbers that will ring and ring with no answer. the teachers barely look at you when they usher you into detention, muttering something about repeated offenses under their breath. you roll your eyes, adjusting your bag higher on your shoulder as you step inside, skirt still hiked up at the waist. same old story, same old routine. but then, you see him.

gojo satoru.

he sits at the front of the room like he owns it, glasses perched on his nose, book in hand, posture as straight as ever. not a single wrinkle on his neatly pressed uniform, not a single hair out of place. he doesn’t even glance up, doesn’t acknowledge your presence, just flips another page like he’s too absorbed in whatever stupid book he’s reading. you nearly scoff. of course he’s here. of course, the student council president, the school’s golden boy, would be the one watching over detention today.

you turn to the window instead, resting your chin on your palm, watching as snowflakes gather along the glass. once upon a time, you loved the snow—loved how it painted the world white, how it felt soft against your fingertips, how it meant holidays and warmth and laughter. now, all it reminds you of is cold, empty spaces. rooms with no warmth, no light, just a family name that still shines while everything inside has rotted. you exhale, fogging up the window, and drag your finger through the condensation, drawing nothing in particular.

but in the corner of your eye, you see him. sitting there, perfect as ever, untouchable in his pristine little world. no cracks in his foundation, no stains on his perfect family portrait. a life still whole, still secure, still wrapped in the warmth of something you barely remember. he still has everything. and you—your nails dig into the desk—have nothing.

the bell rings, loud and sharp, snapping you out of your thoughts. you’re the first to stand, flicking your hair over your shoulder, striding toward the door without a single glance back. gojo doesn’t stop you. doesn’t say anything. and you tell yourself you don’t care. that he isn’t worth your time, your thoughts, anything at all.

you’ve learned, over the years, that rage is exhausting. teenage fury burned hot and fast, but it never fixed anything, never filled the hollow space in your chest. so you let it cool, let it settle into something easier to manage—indifference, or at least the illusion of it. money smooths over the cracks anyway; it buys silence, buys distraction, buys the closest thing to happiness you’ve ever known. you spend it recklessly, thoughtlessly, like if you throw enough of it at the void, it’ll give you something real in return. maybe it never does. but the lights are bright, the music is loud, and the nights blur into mornings before you can think too hard about it.

you’ve perfected the art of being the girl everyone wants to know. you slip into every party like you belong there, heels clicking against marble, lips curled into an easy, practiced smile. men chase you, women admire you, and none of it means anything. you let them get close, let them touch, let them want—because want is power, and you like holding it in your hands. you don’t believe in love, not really, but pleasure is easy, and control is intoxicating, and if you wake up in a stranger’s bed with his wallet on the nightstand and your lipstick smeared on his skin, who cares? you’re having fun. and that’s all that matters.

still, you play your part during the day. you walk the halls of the most prestigious business academy in the country with your head high, effortlessly slipping back into the role of the untouchable heiress. business administration suits you—broad, flexible, full of opportunities you’re not sure you actually want but know you’ll take anyway. because success is expected of you, because wealth demands wealth, because of course you’ll thrive. it doesn’t matter that you’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else. you don’t think about that. instead, you drown yourself in numbers and presentations, in group projects with people who fear you just enough to always listen when you speak.

and of course, he’s here too. gojo satoru, top of his class in business finance, heir to an empire, as obnoxiously untouchable as ever. you never really forgot about him, even when you tried, not when you two basically exist in the same circle, even when you spent years pretending he didn’t exist. and it’s infuriating, really, how he’s still perfect—still smart, still respected, still sitting at the top like he was born there. he walks through the academy like it was built for him, like he owns it, and it makes your teeth grind. because you know—you know—that no matter how much time has passed, no matter how different you are now, you’ll always be the girl who once declared she was going to marry him.

except now, you’re also the girl who swore she hated him.

group projects are the worst.

you don’t even bother hiding your sigh as the professor hands out the details, voice droning on about advanced business and economics, about luxury market strategies and the delicate balance of exclusivity and profitability. it’s all so predictable—another overcomplicated assignment designed to make sure everyone in this academy understands just how privileged they are. as if your last name, your wealth, your place in this world aren’t enough proof already. whatever. you’ll skim the slides, nod at the right moments, and let someone else do the heavy lifting while you focus on things that actually matter.

but then you hear his name.

gojo satoru.

for a split second, something in you sparks—amusement, maybe, or something sharper, something almost triumphant. because this? this is a jackpot. you already know exactly how this will go: satoru, with his color-coded notes and ridiculous spreadsheets, with his perfect grades and even more perfect reputation, will handle it. he’ll do the research, draft the reports, put together a flawless presentation. you won’t even have to lift a finger.

so you don’t acknowledge him. you don’t turn your head, don’t glance in his direction, don’t bother with the fake niceties that other students would force. instead, you sling your bag over your shoulder, heels clicking against the polished floor as you walk out of the lecture hall without so much as a backward glance. later, you’ll send him the bare minimum—a quick “lmk when it’s done” or “let me know if you need anything”. it’s effortless. it’s easy.

you don’t think about how he’s still here, still orbiting your life like a constant, a ghost of a childhood you don’t care to remember. you don’t think about how annoying it is that he’s still perfect, still untouchable, still the one person who’s never bent under the weight of expectation.

you don’t think about him at all.

except, of course, he’s a pain in the ass.

you ignore his texts? he calls. you ignore his calls? he shows up. and not at some normal, reasonable place—no, he tracks you down at an exclusive luxury bar, where the music hums low and expensive in the background, where the drinks are poured with a practiced hand, where you’re lounging on a plush velvet seat, laughing at something not even remotely funny. the world is soft around the edges, warm with alcohol, and you’re enjoying yourself just fine. until you see him.

satoru stands at the entrance like he owns the place, like he belongs here, even though he sticks out like a sore thumb. designer casual, understated but ridiculously expensive—soft knit jacket, tailored slacks, glasses perched on his nose, hair messier than usual, like he ran a hand through it too many times. the sight of him makes you scowl. not because he’s bad-looking—annoyingly, he’s not—but because he’s here. why is he here? you don’t get to ask before he’s moving, crossing the distance between you like it’s nothing, leaning down to murmur, “we have work to do.”

you laugh, not even glancing at him. “you have work to do. i just have to sit pretty and get the grade.” your glass clinks softly against the table as you set it down, lifting a brow at him. he doesn’t even look irritated—just vaguely amused, as if he expected this. “this is how you do research?” his tone is smooth, edged with dry amusement. you sip from your drink again, feigning indifference. “networking, actually.”

he hums, unconvinced. “come on. let’s go.”

“i’m busy, gojo.”

“you’re getting wasted.”

“and?”

“and we have a project to do.”

you tilt your head, smirking. “how about we do it here?” you gesture at the men who’ve been stealing glances at you all night, their interest barely hidden. “i bet one of them owns a luxury brand. isn’t that our topic?”

he exhales through his nose, patient. “get up.”

you scoff. “make me.”

his lips twitch—not quite a smile, but something close.

before you can react, satoru grabs your wrist, gentle but firm, pulling you up with absurd ease. “hey—!” you protest, but it doesn’t matter. he’s already leading you toward the exit, his grip unrelenting yet careful, like he knows exactly how much pressure to apply to make you follow without a fuss. the night air bites against your flushed skin as soon as you step outside, sharp and sobering, and you barely register where you are until you’re standing beside his sleek, very expensive sports car.

satoru unlocks the door with a single click, the sound sharp against the quiet hum of the city. the streetlights cast a pale glow over the pavement, over the sleek lines of his car, over the way he stands there—calm, composed, like he has all the time in the world. he doesn’t rush you, doesn’t demand, just watches with that insufferable patience, hands in his pockets, glasses sliding slightly down the bridge of his nose. his gaze, even behind the lenses, is expectant. “get in.” the words are easy, effortless, but they leave no room for argument.

you cross your arms, shifting your weight to one side, chin tilted up in defiance. “you’re annoying.” the night air bites at your skin, but you refuse to shiver. he barely reacts, only tilts his head slightly, lips curving into something that isn’t quite a smirk but isn’t not one, either. “you’re lazy.” it’s not an insult, just a statement, delivered with the same frustrating calm as everything else he says.

“we’re literally rich.” you exhale, exasperated, like it should be obvious. “why does this even matter to you?” the words come out sharper than intended, but he doesn’t flinch. instead, he studies you for a second, like he’s searching for something beyond the irritation in your voice, beyond the stubborn way you hold yourself. “because i don’t like half-assed things.” his response is immediate, unwavering, and there’s something about it—about the certainty in his tone—that makes your fingers twitch at your sides.

you scoff, turning your head away, but the movement is too sudden, and the wind catches you off guard. cold slips down your spine, sharp and sudden, and you don’t even realize you’ve tensed until you hear him sigh. before you can react, something warm, soft, and faintly scented with expensive cologne settles over your shoulders. his knit jacket. heavy, draped over you like it belongs there.

“wha—” the protest barely leaves your lips before he cuts in.

“it’s cold. get in the car.”

The village chief among the 5 major coastal villages came forward near you and bent down to your level. You edge backwards, hands bound behind your back, and you keep scooting away till your back reaches the huge plum tree. It's faint scents of fresh and rotten plum trail near your nose. “It will be a noble sacrifice, young lady. You do not have long to live anyways.” he smiled at you with the most sickening polite expression you'd ever seen. “Mmfff” you resist try to speak past the barriers of fabric looping tight at your mouth. 

So what if I possess a weak body? Is my life not worth the same as your daughter? 

You wanted to spit these words out and you would have, if the fabric tied on your mouth weren't so tight that you could barely even muffle. 

He forwards a hand and clasps the collar of your thin robe, dragging you away from the tree. You try to protest, looking horrified, there must be something, some key to run away….

You hear the footsteps of other chiefs surrounding you. If only you didn't help that girl, you wouldn't have to face this. You should have listened to your father's words and shouldn't have stayed out long outside searching for medical herbs, which would heal his health. Especially on the day of the blood moon. 

And even if you did, you shouldn't have helped the girl run who was originally chosen to be sacrificed. But you just couldn't ignore her cries, her tear stained face, her pleading eyes asking for a chance to live, looking so similar to the blurred face of your mother in your memories who died during your childhood and which is why you helped her run. 

You wanted to feel the rush and the puff in your chest as you dared to help the girl who was about to be another victim of the cruel sea god. And when you did that you felt as if you snatched back your mother's life from fate— from the sea god. 

However, one of the guards followed her, and while helping her run home, you got caught instead. And now here you were pleading for your life, for your father who must be worried sick, eyes on the door waiting for your safe return.

A thin sheet of silk is tied around your eyes, one of the men securing the knot, before picking you up on his shoulders and making his way to the coast, where the sea meets the sand. 

Soon you will be drowned to death in the name of sacrifice. Is this where your life ends? 

You were never supposed to be a sea god's bride; The qualities needed to be chosen as a bride were far away from your hand. You owned a fragile body, sick since birth. You can't even manage lifting heavy weight, how are you supposed to carry the grace of a bride.

But aren't all these just a saying, all stupid beliefs of your dumb ancestors, to come up with such rituals pleasing a god? 

If they claim the frequent storms and death of their family members as the wrath of the sea god, and as per the saying, a bride should calm his wrath. Up until this date you're sure more than 100 brides are sacrificed— none satisfied the sea god. None.

And none of them came back. 

Because it was simple, that the god didn't care and the ritual didn't work. Or maybe it does work but all the god wants is blood and not love. All he wants is despair, cries and screams of hunger. 

The sea has been raging off season, destroying the crops, sweeping away families, causing deaths and even after praying to the gods for their protection what did they do? 

Nothing. 

At this point you even wonder if the sea god is even real or just a myth.

Whatever it was, you realised none of them could stop fate from seizing your life away. 

The guy who had you on his shoulders, threw your frail body into what felt like a flat round hollow structure— probably a boat. You muffle a cough at the jerk your body has to face, not even getting to ease the pain since your hands were tied.

The sound of the night thundering among the clouds, echoed through the vast coast. “So now we sail her away? The sea god won't be displeased finding her instead of the chosen bride? Won't he be angry?” 

One of the men questions their doings, unsure if sending you as the bride might fuel the god's rage even more. “She helped Akihiko to run, if the sea god is displeased, he must be happy to punish her himself.” 

Another loud thunder bolted among the clouds. If the gods do exist they seem angry, and the only subject of their anger for now seems to be you. 

One of the men came near the round boat and took your right palm, causing you to bite your tongue with a shriek as you felt him stabbing the middle of your palm with a knife and then dragging it near the tip of your ring finger.

Tears stain the silk wrapped around your eyes. Do they even sacrifice a bride or murder them? If you're meeting death today can it not be any less painful? 

You stilled for a while as you feel the man digging the knife among the tied bunch of fabrics binding your hands together and tearing them apart with its sharp blade. 

The crane's wings were not tied anymore. She could run. 

But before you make any action on running, or even removing the piece of silk blocking your vision, your body slips to the opposite of your boat—a high tide. 

You try to get the silk of your eyes or get off the boat so you could swim your way to the shore but it was useless. The more you tried the more harsh waves played with you. They mocked your every movement, salty water drenching your robes, and its splashing noises squeak out laughing at you. Probably laughing at how weak and helpless you are.

The water is even making the cut on your hand burn even with tingling pain. At this point you were nothing but devastated, you surely realise that you're far away from the shore, and even far from your home. All you prayed for was your boat not being in the middle of the sea. 

The movements stilled, the boat danced gently on the waves, you could feel the furious tides shifting into a sweet calm— the calm before the storm. 

You raise your hand up, feeling the fabric of silk tied around your eyes, fingers tracing it's knot on the back. Once your fingers find it, you pull one strand of it. The drenched silk stuck close to your wet skin as you peeled it off. 

You were about to open your eyes, but something told you not to, as if you were to open your eyes, you would see your world shift altogether. Nothing would ever be the same. 

But you weren't dead yet. Even though you realise that you've come really far from the shore, if you somehow make it up, somehow struggle and reach the shore you can make it back to your father. 

To your home. 

Your eyelids flutter open, pupils slowly adjust to the little amount of light, making your vision clear. 

You freeze. 

Something was behind you, or I'd be perfect to say something was looming above you, preying on your tiny body. Its huge shadow floated over the cool waters, shielding the only dim red of the moon.

Is this the sea god? The one you cursed so much for causing the death of your mother? The one whose bride you helped eloping?

Is he here to punish you for your deeds or to savour you as his sacrifice? Just like any other soul, each five years.

You dare to look behind your back. If today's the day you meet the serene of death, who has always caged your body till now, you decided to numb your emotions and face it. How long will you be a coward? How long will death haunt you?

There was a creature, its scales shiny, half emerged from water. Gulping down a gasp you raised your eyes up tracing the elongated body till it's silhouette contrasted a sharp dark under the bright red of the moon. 

Sapphire blue eyes peered down at, huge scaled head tilting ever so slowly. It was a dragon— a sea dragon. The scene was so terrifying and yet something about the dragon drew you in. It curled his head in a loop before the huge face was right inches near you, letting out a low growl. 

His warm breath grazed your skin, so fierce it blew a few wet locks of your hair. The only word your unconscious shouted was ‘run’ yet it was as if you were tranced, your body wouldn't move. There was something so not right with you, and if anything you had this unwanted urge of consoling the dragon, in your arms even if his head was solely 3 times bigger than your body.

His eyes— looked so, what do you even describe, lifeless? Such a huge creature of might, yet eyes were of an unusual drear.  

The dragon’s pupils slit at your figure as an unyielding force tugged at your right hand, forcing open the palm, trails of wet blood smearing itself on your fate lines. 

The dragon scrutinized your cut and all you could do was look at him, standing still, as if all of your senses were gobbled down by him the moment you looked into his dull blue eyes. 

The blood of the bride shall appease the god's soul, a mortal is to be honoured with a sempiternal stroll

You couldn't figure out where the words echoed from, there was no one in the middle of the sea except you and the blue eyed dragon. 

Was it him? 

In moment you could use any of your senses, the sea erupted in its violent desires and one high splash of the dragon's, tearing his way down the surface of water caused you to lose your balance and fall down the boat. 

You panic, fluttering your hands as desperately as possible. You thought before you won't run from death yet your actions caused you to question your resolve. 

The dragon spinned his long body in peculiar loops around you. Your erratic movements of panic weren't helping to save the small amount of oxygen still left in your lungs. 

With one last try you try to throw your body up the surface, yet all you see is more blood oozing out of your wound and the last bubbles of oxygen escaping in blobs of air.

Your mind grew foggy as eyes could barely make out the blur in the deep waters, your body losing its senses growing limp just like when you looked at the dragon's eyes, sinking down beneath the sea. And the last thing you could make out before losing your consciousness, was the same lifeless unearthly blue eyes. 

You open your eyes feeling a sharp tug at your hand— right hand to be specific. You sit up straight as the flashbacks of your desperate cries strike you. Weren't you drowning? How come— you looked around your surroundings, you were in the middle of a lake, on a pavilion. Several blue lotus blooming emitted some sort of strange sweet intoxicating smell. It was as if they were luring you, but if you drowned how come you can still breathe? Is this the immortal land? Are you in the afterlife? 

As you were chewing over your thoughts, you noticed something tugging at your right hand and when you brought a closer look to your hand it astonished you, for the wound which hurted so bad was healed without a scar, as if it was never there in the first place. 

You might as well think that all of it was nothing but a pretty terrifying fever dream. However, you knew better. The scar did vanish but it left a crimson thread tied around your ring finger. It was floating in the air, rippling as you move, dancing with all the grace, twisting and turning, but most importantly it was tugging at your ring finger.

It was meant to show you your direction to the sea god, the one with whom your soul was bound with yours, the moment you presented your blood to him— the moment you became the bride of the sea god. 

The thread kept pulling your finger to a direction wrapped in mist and the sweet smell of the sea petaled flower. You decided to follow it, now that you're already so far from your home you have no other choice but to comply with the current of the river of your fate. You stepped down the marble stairs of the pavilion, mist obscured the path, refraining your vision to even make out your surroundings. 

You look back to the pavilion and it was no longer there, the mist swallowed it in whole, if it were not for the glowing translucent thread of blood, you would have been lost as soon as you stepped down the pavilion. 

Will it take you to the sea god? 

Will seeing you calm his anger? You didn't have any answer to satisfy your curiosity, the fact that even thinking about the sea god makes the veins of your neck pop, your jaw tick surprises how on the entire Earth could you be chosen as his bride. 

You don't understand how long you were walking in the mist following the thread floating, elongating and contracting in mid air, showing the pathway of the unseen world beyond your eyes could ever do.

After walking for what seemed like a long time, the thread stilled, a slow burn of fire seemed to run through the string and became awfully straight.

The mist slowly cleared, and in front of you stood a huge dais, over there was a canopy, made from the mother of the pearl reflecting colours so serene, that made your pupils dilate. The canopy was draped with a red fabric, probably of delicate muslin, which allowed to make out the silhouette of the figure sitting in it.

The thread vanished behind the fabric, which only meant that the god who you are sacrificed to was sitting there, on his huge throne. 

Unconsciously, you step forward on your feet.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Raising your hand, you slowly part the veil of secrecy, peering inside, forgetting any poise or courtesy you ever possessed. 

Fingers halt midway, no more bunching the fabric to get a proper look, for what you saw inside shook you to the core. Is this the sea god?

A sharp pull on the back of your head, yanked you away from crossing any other borders of seclusion. “Ahhhh” you couldn't help but let out a shout at the grip on the roots of your hair. Someone was dragging you down miserably and when you tried to see who it was you could only make out the vague tresses of long white hair and robes of black.

The hand dragged you by your hair and threw you down the dais, violently till your body hit the cold marble floor and made you cough at its brutal force. 

Your chest heaved and burning pain on your head made you look up at the person who inflicted such discomfort. 

A man with long silvery hair stood infront of you, his figure was feets above you, hovering as his head peered down at you, expression neutral, while his eyes were veiled with a silk of midnight, robes of similar shadows, some gold streaks running around the edges. 

How did the man even saw you if his eyes were concealed to let the light of the world pass? 

“Another year of the blood moon has another crane caught.” an unfavorable voice laced through the heavy air, it's tone mocking straight up. 

You turn your head to the owner of the voice— a man in violet robes, dragons were finelly embroidered with threads of gold on the hem, his hair was tied up in a knot, upheld by a pin of gold with pearls dangling from it. 

He slowly came near you, before crouching down to your level and taking a few strands of your hair to raise to his nose smelling it. “ A favourable crane instead,” you don't like how it sounded, backing away as far as possible. 

Looking around the hall you are able to make out a few more people present in the same marble hall as of you, which was probably— no, surely the royal throne chamber of the sea god.

Another man in white and of similar age, to the violet one watched the scene unfold amusingly. Two others were standing a little bit far away from the man who yanked you by your hair. 

“Gojo, say what if I have this crane after 13 days, I'm sure you can keep this one aside for me,” the man in violet spoke, something so dark lacing through his intentions. He scoffed with derision, eyes feverishly measuring your each move. “Can't I, my dearest brother ren?”

“Sure brother shota, I wouldn't mind leaving out on this crane, though I must express my condolences on missing out on such a vicious beauty.” the man in White offered a smile of kind to his brother. 

Gojo, the midnight veiled man, stepped forward bowing his head down to both of them, ren and shota, who looked like royalty. 

“But before that,” ren came near you, his sime as polite as ever, “my dear crane, by chance had a proper look inside the canopy?” 

You gulp, the burning sensation of gojo dragging you down the dais by your hair pulsated even more with pain, “n—no” 

“My, are you sure you're not lying?” He bent down, one hand gently caressing your cheek, “i-it was dark.”  

“That's very good of a situation, our god prefers solitude,” he said, straightening himself up and signalling gojo with a nod. You look at him as he takes out a crystaled knife. 

What?

“No wait, don't kill me —please,”  before you could say any, gojo caught the crimson of your hand and severed the thread which connected your soul to the sea gods. 

The broken string burned with an intense blaze before vanishing away in thin air.

“What did you do?” you ask, horrified at what just happened— a red string of fate was never to be severed, that's what you've always heard but then how?

“Oh nothing young crane, breathe in calm, I will be waiting for you in my parlour.” With that said, shota marked his leave. Ren scrutinized you for a while before following shota out. 

Left in the throne chamber was you, gojo and two other men standing a bit far away. Both were dressed in shades similar to the silver haired.

“Capture the crane”, gojo’s voice erupted in a velvet tone, devoid of any emotions. You look at them bewildered as you try to run but it was useless, the other two men, one of striking pink hair and other of a raven caught you from both sides, “sorry little crane, didn't wanted to hurt ya’” the pink haired guy muttered before you lose your consciousness.

“Had a pleasant dream?” The pink haired guy asked, sweeping behind small strands of your hair, you wildly flinch as you dart around your eyes scanning the area. Your hands were tied and so were your legs, just like how the village chiefs tied you up, “why am I here?” You demand answers with a frustrated frown. The room was small and cramped and after all that you've gone through in the span of the last 24 hours you've decided you'd had enough. 

“What do you mean little crane?” Said the pink haired guy tilting his head in a confused manner.

“Y/n.” 

The boy looked confused for a while before baring a bunch of teeth in a silly grin, “Itadori Yuji.”

“That's your name?” 

“Yes it is what people address me as.”

“Okay whatever, mind telling me why am I here?” You grow more and more annoyed at your questions being ignored. 

“Little crane, you're the bride of the sea god, it is absolute of you being safe in our protection.” Yuji said with the same wide grin. 

“By protection you mean this? If you lack basic knowledge, I shall teach you this is called incarceration.” 

“Oh you can consider this being the only means for your protection” his answer made your head pulse with rage, “by imprisoning me? If I am the bride of the sea god shouldn't you let me see him, so that his wrath calms down.”

“Well, speak about wrath less, think about your precious life, if we let you roam outside, in such crucial time of coronation, you won't live longer than an hour or two.” He mentioned casual, straightening himself up and walking to the low table, to plop one carved flesh of fruity apple inside his mouth.

“What?” 

“The coronation…the sea god will be replaced soon.” He said gulping the apple before plopping another, “you know our sea god, have concealed himself for ages, ever since the moment he was crowned. The only ones who ever pay him a visit are his brothers, Prince Shota and Crown Prince Ren.” 

“The ones in white and violet robes?”

Yuji nodded his head, leaning one elbow on the low table, placing his head on it, and smiled as pure as a kid. “Since you mortals are even stupid than me, you won't stop sacrificing cranes and just like each blood year, a crane— you appeared.” 

“So the god my soul is tied to won't be the god anymore?” you ask bewildered, unable to fathom whether to be happy or sad.

“Yeah, it's not like you're tied to him anyway.” Yuji shrugged, causing you to frown at his words. “the bond has been severed by the crystal knife, so you're nothing but a useless mortal in the realm of immortals.” 

“Useless you say, so let me go home….my father will be worried for me, he's sick, I need—”

“Speak less, you mere mortal.” The black haired boy from before entered the room, sliding the fusuma doors shut. “Oh Fushiguro, have a bite, these are real delicacy, I didn't knew the zenin houses cultivate such fine produce.” 

“Could you speak any less too?”

“God! I still don't understand why you left the zenins to serve our bounded master.” Yuji huffed, picking up another piece of apple pointing it to you, “want some?” 

“master? Who's your master, the white haired one? Gojo?” Yuji nodded at you, lowering the piece of apple, “shall i feed you, we are not allowed to free you from thos—”

“Yuji please, let me go back home I need to see my fathe—” you beg desperately cutting him mid-sentence.

“Such an intelligent, vacuous crane, who even chose you to be a bride, don't you understand once you are sacrificed to the immortal realm you cannot go back to the mortal world without your soul?” Fushiguro groaned at you, shutting you from whining anymore. 

“Without a— soul?” You ask uneasily, what was that even supposed to mean, you were still alive how can a person without a soul be alive? “But I'm still alive…” 

“Just because you are in the realm of the immortals, you cannot go back nor leave this room considering the risk of you getting murdered, not until you become one of us— an immortal.” 

“So if I become an immortal I can return.” 

“No! How can you be even more dull witted than Itadori, you can leave this room, after that, go find any work to suit your pleasures and work till you earn another chance in life.”, Fushiguro finishes, rolling an eye at you. 

“I am not dull witted and just to let you know I had no intention of being around such immortal beings who aren't familiar with a shred of kindness, why pray to you then? And since it was my soul in the first place I have the right to ask, what happened to it.” 

Fushiguro raises a brow at you, “considering such fragile body, you sure have a tongue of fire,” Yuji laughs at his comments, “your soul was severed from you along with the string of fate, it will be kept in the house of the death god. Another reason for you to keep your voice down and accept whatever is going on.” said Fushiguro, looking outside the window at the moon, it's glow so illuminating, that the entire room was better off without the half burning wax candle on the low table. 

“The god of death?” 

“Suguru Geto, the god of death. He owns your soul for now and will be in account of it till the 13 days pass by.” Said Yuji, stretching himself. What an odd situation you found yourself in…will you ever be able to get back?

“But as you said, I am more or less useless to you, why not let me go?” This came out as a whisper, you were doubtful of anyone listening, however Fushiguro sighed, “you're right, but we aren't the one who gets to decide that, prince shota seemed to have taken a liking for you, once the coronation is fulfilled and our new sea god sits on the throne, you will be sent to his parlour.” 

“Will talking to prince shota can help get me out of here?” You ask hopefully, while Fushiguro’s eyes darkens, “if anything I would suggest you stay as far away as you can from that certain princeling” with that said he abruptly leaves the room, Yuji’s expression too grave, followed Megumi out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the bone gnawing silence as the moon light pours into the room, pooling itself into the tatamis, where you laid tied. 

They made it very clear it was unlikely for you to leave this realm, but if you no longer had any connections with the sea god, what's the problem returning your soul to the mortal realm? What could possibly be the reason behind the immortals stealing a mortal soul? And what could be the reason for the sudden coronation? 

Prince ren’s voice echo near your ears, causing you to flinch a little, his polite facade wasn't entirely able to conceal the chill in his voice when he asked you if you got a glance at the sea god….and his sceptical eyes studying you even after his brother left. Probably he knew you lied to him, he knew that you saw the sea god and what you saw was sure to make you question your eyes, but then it was not much of a topic to think about. 

What could be certainly odd about a sea god that looked half your age? 

You don't know what to assume, Fushiguro mentioned the only people to meet him are— Prince Ren and Prince shota, his brothers. So it means they belong from the same family, the same blood runs in their veins, then what could be the reason to crown such a young boy who looked barely ten years of age? 

The sea god wore a mask to his face— a dragon mask. Similar to the one dragon who drowned you into this realm. He was dressed in bright blue robes with delicate threads of embroidered lotus, dragons and clouds sewn perfectly to match his unearthly young presence. The mask on his face was painted in an expression of slumber, as if a dragon sleeping and— 

But this is not the time to reminisce about the sea god’s attire, not to mention just a few days to go, when the young boy would no longer bear such a heavy title, for his age. 

Suguru geto, the death god was the one to possess your soul, and if only you could go to his house, it would benefit you to steal your soul back from them, but your hands are tied and so are your legs. 

You dart your eyes around the room, there must be something, anything, any sharp— you glance at the plate of crisp apples, cut in beautiful shapes and placed over one another in a decorative way, next to it layed a small fruit knife, sharp enough to cut past the fabric bound around your wrists and feets. 

Awkwardly you struggled near the low table in your restricted position, wriggling and squirming, close enough for you to grab the knife with your mouth. 

Seizing the knife with your mouth you let it fall beside you, as you reposition yourself in order to pick it up with your tied palms and cut through the fabric. After what seemed for such a long time, is when you feel the fabric loosening up and finally letting your hands free of restriction. 

You immediately massage your wrists and get down in the work of freeing your legs, once you get done with it, you peer out of the window. 

It seemed like you were in the second floor of a wooden pagoda, surrounded by a lake and small connected pavilions to make commuting easy, the problem was sneaking outside the pagoda seemed enough with risks if not getting caught by anyone of them, considering how busy it was even at what seemed like already midnight?

You let yourself calm down, all you need is to sneak out of this specific pavilion, you can trick immortals asking for the god of death, right? Except they would recognise you as a mortal instantly. Still you couldn't seem to keep your feet in this pavilion, you wanted your freedom back, you wanted your soul back. 

Sliding the doors very softly you speculate the corridor which seemed empty for now, you waited a while to finally set a foot outside, for now your plan is to just somehow or the other make your escape from this pavilion. 

Your heart thumped like drums in your chest, when was the last time you ever showed this defiance, you don't remember. This was probably the first time. 

You took a few steps out in the corridor, when a hand clamped around your lower face, the movement was so fast that you could barely sense anything, rather think any. Its iron grip forced you backwards, till you noticed you were back into the small room, and the sharp sound of doors shutting closed behind you. 

You laid stricken to the tatami floors, the hand still locked around your jaw and a huge figure hovering over you. 

Gojo. 

His Silver long hair pooled on the floor as he supported his body with one hand while pressing you down from any movement with the other. He snuck his veiled face near you, “Don’t. Even. Try.” 

“Mfffff” you tried shouting yet nothing came past your clamped mouth except pressed muffles. You were just so, so close yet he has to come right on time to snatch that one ray of hope from you. 

You protested, trying to thrash out of his grip, yet your body moved none, and the more stronger the grip of his hands became that at one point you felt he would crash your head right on the floor staining the tatami red. 

Were you scared? Yes. 

The man, supposedly named gojo, still had his eyes veiled on the very midnight sash you'd seen before, yet you felt like it was staring at your soul. Not liking the feeling, you pressed down your nails into his skin scratching it down till drops of blood start oozing out. Yet he didn't move an inch. 

You throw a hand at his face trying to make another desperate move of your leave, pulling the veil down, till it unloops entirely, falling down on the floor, along with your hand. 

You stilled, your movements stilled, he stilled. 

His eyes sparkled in a distant bright, hollow black that makes you shiver in fright. His pupils were black, entirely black, glassy and vacant. It was as if you weren't staring into a man’s eyes, but rather a void of such murky iniquity, that even the night of the new moon might turn out being shades lighter than his sinful eyes. 

Gulping hard, unable to breathe, you tap two times on his hand, whose grip he loosened further, he stared blankly at you, with no expression on his face, it was as if he was a statue himself, hollow from inside, even more dead than a dead plant in the hot of a desert.

You let out a shaky breath, unable to tear your eyes away from him nor move your body in anyway. Your eyes started burning, tears brimming up your eyes at the sheer amount of fear you're experiencing. But you didn't want to cry, you just didn't want to show that you were afraid— Afraid of him. 

He yanked you by your hair before, slammed you on the floor, most importantly he hurted you. And you wanted to do the same, even when you were scared of him. 

Near your hand, layed the fruit knife perfectly in reach for you to grip, and you do so. You grab the knife and aim to stab it right at his neck. And you do so. You stab right at his neck yet the knife would pierce through his skin. You noticed a subtle space which prevents the knife from touching his skin. So was the case with his hand, which wasn't directly touching your face now, it was a slight space of void pressing you down on the floor. 

You looked at gojo, staring at you with the same face without any sarcasm or humour, as if he felt finding your little attempts to escape humourous was not even worth mocking. You felt even more shame and embarrassment creeped up your face. 

“Master!” Yuji's voice rammed through the room. Gojo’s hollow pupil moves to the side, before he gets off you, finally letting you out of his grip, before grabbing the piece of midnight silk and looping around his eyes again. 

You cough and back away to the corner of the room, the knife still in your hands. 

Yuji threw a concerned look over you, fushiguro was standing behind, face unreadable. Gojo turned over to them, “tie her up well and make sure there aren't any weapons near her to help her escape” 

The boys nodded at the white haired man who was about to take his leave, “wait! Gojo!” You shout, causing him to stop his movements. He turned back facing your frail body. His eyes were covered behind the fabric, still he faced you as if he could see you right through the fabric, or maybe he did see you right through his fabric. 

Maybe you're forgetting that all of the persons present in this room are immortals, except you, they are sure to possess some otherworldly power. 

“I want to see the god of death. Please take me to him, I give you my word I won't try to escape. Please.” You demand, eyes pleading even if you didn't like the idea of begging to this certain guy. 

And yet. You did. 

Gojo remained still for sometime, before turning his back and leaving you alone with the other two boys, not faltering the vacant facade. 

What? You swear you'd kill this guy, if he were any near, and if there wasn't such a power difference between you two. 

“Listen, little crane, your demand is far away to be fulfilled.” Said Yuji coming near you, a rope forming in between his hands as a he makes a certain gesture, probably his magic. “Why? All I want is to see the god of death—” 

“You dull-witted crane, that's not possible.” Fushiguro taunts you, massaging his temple with two fingers. 

“My name is y/n and I'm not a crane. I am a human and yes a mortal, and I want my soul. If I serve no purpose to your god now or in near future why not serve my demands. I am unable to understand why I have to remain as a captive of you. And why can't I see the god of death?” 

Yuji sighs, “its not as easy as you think, it would have been possible for you to meet the god of death, if the friendly bond between master and him wouldn't have been severed.” He stated blandly, winding the rope around your wrists. Fushiguro gets annoyed at yuji reciprocating your answers and leaves the room. 

Not paying any heed to his exiting figure, you ask “why? Why happened between them?” 

“Hmm?” Yuji hums at your questions, before making up a troublesome expression, “well a lot happened at once. You see, our master and the god of death suguru geto were quite good friends but since the last few years nothing has been the same. I don't know the details, but the news was in the air that it was in regard of the sea god.” 

“The sea god?” You ask, the fact that hollow guy you faced right now, was capable of being in a friendship was strange enough for you to twist your face, especially with the god of death. 

“Yeah, and then they had a huge fight, in which a very dear friend of suguru got hurt, since then both of them aren't on speaking terms.” Yuji stopped looping the rope around your wrists, about to bound them in a knot again, when you distract him with another question, “why? Why did they fight over the sea god?” 

“You see, the god of death is severely against the reign of our current sea god. He has always made a strong opposition to the sea god's decisions, even though the crown binds all of us to the words of the sea god. This also counted as another reason for the passing down the crown to Prince Ren.” You clasp Yuji's hands, pressing them a bit and he grows a bit flustered, if the only person who can get you out of here was Yuji Itadori, who seemed too innocent and kind. Never have you ever thought of using someone’s kindness to your favour, but when even gods were selfish who were you to walk on a path of morals. 

“Yuji, please I promise I will not escape, please take me to the god of death,” Yuji backs away, freeing his hands from your grip, shaking one palm at you, “that's not possibl—”

“Please Yuji, you're the only one I can trust. Help me, just let me go once to see the god of death, I swear I will not run.” You assure him with pleading eyes, nearing him till you get hold of his hands again. “Please.” 

“Little crane, I am not allowed to let you leave this pagoda…” his stubbornness to his higher ranks made you leave any hope you had for seeing the god of death when, “but I wasn't instructed on helping you or not.” he tilted his head in a fond way and frowned his eyebrows with a sad smile on his face.

“Huh?” 

“Maybe it's best to retrieve your soul back, no matter what. You must retrieve your soul back, and return to the mortal world as fast as you can. So I guess I will help you run to the house of death god, but beware of the wolves, you won't want them catching you on the way.” Yuji said, unlooping the rope off your wrists before snapping his fingers to dispel his magic. 

“Thank you, thank you so much Yuji!” You expressed your gratitude, to the pink haired, feeling sad he had to serve such a severe hollow master. 

“Now listen to me very carefully, I will kiss your forehead with my magic, it will conceal you from the other prying eyes for a few moments of time, say about and hour or so,” he stops whispering and walks near the door making sure fushiguro isn't present near. Being sure he walks back to you and continues, “during that one hour of your concealment, you must leave the Tsubaki pagoda and at least be about a mile or two away from the entrance gate.” 

You nod trying to process all the information together, Yuji was dumping on you, “and while you do that, you must make sure not to cross or be any near master gojo, stay as far away as possible. He can sense reeks of my magic and my concealment is very feeble in his eyes, he would recognise you in a second so do not ever cross paths with him.” You nod at yuji, your heart thumping as if you were about to face a war, and the way his voice had the serious hint in it, you were sure that running into gojo would be the last thing you want in the entire world.

“As soon as I conceal you run from here, no one will be able to see you, take the left corridor and search for the nearest stairs leading to the floor underneath. Find the door with a huge old camellia flower carved on to its body, that's the back door…you will take the way to the left pavilion and not stop running, still you cross all three of them and exit the main entrance. Remember even if you exit the entrance don't stop running, run as far as you can. And if you see any group of people with designs of wolves embroidered, do not linger around them, ask the commoner to show you the path to the house of death god and they will.” He shuffles his one hand inside the sleeve of his robes, and takes out a thread of gold coins, shoving them to you. 

“Give them these for payment and you will be just fine, insist them to drop you near instead, it's dangerous roaming alone. When you meet suguru geto, beg him for your life, he won't agree to give your soul back right away so crack a deal with him, offer him something precious to you and he's sure to help. If he insists having your soul till the coronation let him be but ask him to hide you in his house till the thirteenth day, and once you have your soul back pray to him to send you back.” 

“And he will?” 

“Probably. Keep praying till he agrees, no matter what he is still a god, if you devote yourself to him with pure heart he is bound to comply.” Yuji explains, dragging you near the door, one hand cupping your cheek gently. 

you never had a brother, which always made you wonder how it feels to have one. Now you might have an answer to this. Yuji brings his lips to your forehead. “Run as far as possible, little crane” he whispered before pressing his lips to your forehead. A tingling sensation coursed through your veins and the moment you open your eyes, Yuji rushes you out of the room. 

You run.

You ran and ran and ran. Two times nearing the failure of Yuji's concealment, when you passed near fushiguro but he was busy in conversation with a official in fancy robes. And the second time when you were about ten fleeting steps near gojo. But you ran. You somehow ran. And you're pretty sure you're miles away from the pagoda, which Yuji mentioned as Tsubaki pagoda— domain of gojo. 

Your chest was heaving, throat itching of thirst, and your knees were shaking from running so long. The place where you were in currently resembled a busy market in the immortal realm, yet you could barely find people as it was still very early in the morning. 

You didn't sleep for an entire night, the thread of gold coins Yuji gave you jingled heavy in the small coin purse which belonged to your mom as you walked around finding a place to sit. 

Retiring yourself under a big osmanthus, you let out a breath, reflecting what you went through just in the past few hours, which now had been a day and a half you'd say to be exact. 

You sit up straight, noticing something weird. Ever since childhood you couldn't run a mile distance without coughing or gasping for a bunch of oxygen which seemed to be slipping from your lungs. Yet, you ran continuously for an hour and probably more than that, and nothing really happened?

The thing just didn't sit right with you. But it was useless finding this thing odd, which could probably be one of the perks of Yuji's magic. 

You huff out another breath leaning your back on to the bulk of its massive trunk. Breathing in the trails of its honeyed sweetness, with delicate hints of sun warmed peaches and somewhat complex undertone of the scene of rope apricots dancing in between— you gulp, trying to ease your thirst. 

The smell of osmanthus relieved you, reminding you of your sweet home, where your mother once cradled you, where your father taught you how to walk. Feeling nostalgic and worry seeping in your thoughts of your father's health, you look up not wanting to cry. 

You squint your eyes as you see a silhouette of something, deliberately peering down with curious eyes. You shriek of horror as you realise it was a figure of a girl, hurrying away from the osmanthus. 

Sensing your panic, whatever the thing it was, landed on the group with a smooth jump— a girl....who seemed kind of human.

“Umm—” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Shouldn't I be the one asking you this as you were hanging on the branch of the tree like a dead corpse?” You burst out, trying to calm down your pacing heartbeat. 

“Dead? Aren't you dead too?” She said in a tone which caused a gush of familiarity, where have you heard it before?

“I am not,” you say, the girl who looked awfully cheerful, came near you, “do you need my help standing up?” She forwarded a hand which you refused to take. “No.” You said standing up on your own and dusting your clothes. 

“You smell….very…very mortal.” She commented, pouting at you causing you to gulp, she realises the smell yet not able to distinguish you, “is that so? Do you want something?” You try to change the topic, unwilling to discuss any about your mortality.

“No. Nothing. Just curious about something heavy jingling on that very beautiful coin purse of yours.” 

Oh. 

“Well, I will be very happy to give you some if you do me a favour.” She jumped at you with curious eyes of excitement, “what favour? Yes I will.” 

“umm..I would like to visit the…god of death, do you know where his house must be?” You ask not wanting to sound too obvious, afterall what business might a commoner would have with the god of death.

The girl nodded without any further questions and gestured to you to follow her, by now you forgot about your thirst and not wanting to lose track of her, you followed close by. 

The girl left with some coins of gold leaving you at the doors of the huge palace which is known as the house of death. You sneaked in, through the gates, feeling no less of a thief, the palace guards were not present near the gate so you didn't have anyone to take permission from, which was to your advantage. You wouldn't want to spread the news of your escape. 

After crossing two huge shrine-like gates, you enter a palace finding no guards there too. Following an elongated corridor you check the entire floor before taking the steps to the upper floors. 

Even after checking the entire palace you found no one. Did the girl trick you? And now you ended up in an abandoned palace, with no surety of— 

“Any problems, young mortal?” 

You flinched at the voice behind you, a man stood behind you, tall enough to hover over you, somewhat near gojo, you could see hints of black yukata with some gold robes. Under the chilling intensity of his gaze, you slowly turn back to face him. 

He was awfully beautiful, to be termed as the feared god of death. Black streaks of hair falling down while half of them were tied in a knot, his eyes held a curved sinister gaze as lips twisted in another pout. “Tell what mortal, you come in my house, take a look at each and every corner in here and when I decide to appear in front of you, you freeze?” 

“God of death?” You ask, even though every single hair on your body knew whose presence you were under. 

“Yes, I am the god of death, Suguru geto.” He said before letting out a chuckle “What demand do you have? You want your soul back?” 

“Yes! Please give me back my soul, I wish to return to my world, please I beg you—” 

Geto lets out a laugh before coming extremely close to you, till your back hits the wall and he is hovering over you, face inching closer each moment, “and why shall I? If satoru gojo expects me to return your soul, I must make it clear, poor thing. I. will. not.” he says, tucking his index finger beneath your chin plopping your head up to face him. 

Tears brim down from your eyes, “what does it have to do with gojo? I came here to expect help from a god, a god who is expected to help his devotees. And if you don't know what the sacred relation between a god and a devotee is, you should know better to leave your position.” 

His face twisted in mockery, the index beneath your chin slid down to grab your throat, hand tightening around it, strangling you, making it difficult to breathe. “You sure have a lot to say, but my dear crane, you should think properly, what sacred relation? I am the God of death. I am to be feared not to be prayed. I am not to be worshipped, but to be dreaded.”

“Isn't death the start of a new life?” You choke your words out, “doesn't that mark you not only as the god of death but the god of life?” 

“You speak too much mortal…the god of life is the sea god, who has ignored all of your pleas of help for decades, he trampled down on all of your cries and you expect me to—” you can barely make out what he was saying, your mind was growing dizzy and your body was going limp. Yuji’s voice echoed from the back of your mind. ‘crack a deal with him’ he said. 

“I will give you anything you want, return me back to my world, to my father.” Your voice came out in a choked whisper, geto stared at you for a while, before loosening his grip on your throat, “too late, I expect another visitor.” 

You look behind geto to see prince ren staring at both of you with unreadable eyes, his calm demeanor sent chills to your spine, “did I interrupt your fun with the mortal crane?” He asked, his voice was nothing other than composed, “what if my answer is a ‘yes’...” 

“Guess I will have to apologise, however the crane is already decided to be taken under my brother, so—” geto interrupts him mid-sentence. “Oh don't worry, I'm not interested in hunting cranes from the very beginning, crown prince ren.” 

“Ah, I guess then we can leave her out of the conversation.” Prince ren's face displayed a polite smile as geto skims his fingers to your forehead head, rendering you unconscious. 

The next you opened your eyes, you found yourself tucked in a bed, mattress filled with what seemed very soft cotton, the room you were in seemed different than the rooms of the house of death, shifting yourself out of the feathers you walk up to the door, feeling uneasy about opening it or not. You had no idea where exactly you were in or who might be waiting outside this room— the death god? Prince Ren? Or gojo?

You could hear something going on, as if an interrogation, “I am the one responsible.” 

A chill runs down your spine, you slowly part the doors creating a small gap enough for you to peek in. You see prince ren moving in circles and the one standing still was— gojo. 

You were back in the Tsubaki pagoda. Cursing yourself mentally, you feel your hands getting clammy, all of the hard work for nothing? You traveled so far to retrieve your soul from geto suguru yet—

“So you're telling me you're the one responsible and she ran away without receiving any help from your subordinates?” Prince Ren asked him as he stood silent. His face was still the same expression, vacant. 

“Might be so when you render yourself responsible. Must take the responsibility. Grab the knife near and stab right through your hand” 

What?

The prince said it so casually as if it meant nothing and you could only widen your eyes when Gojo took a knife and stabbed it right through his palm. 

You gasped, trying to calm down your breathing, the sharp blade was still stuck in his palm as blood slowly trickled down tainting the tatamis. 

Unable to see anymore, you shut the door and return back to the bed. Your hands were shaking, whatever you saw you no longer understood what you felt, because why would you feel such extravagant unfurling of excitement when gojo did stab right through his hand. Why would your hands shake of envy instead of fear, wishing you would have stabbed it instead of him. 

You try to shake off these thoughts from your mind. What the heck were you thinking anyway? Yes he did yanked you by your hair, seized your jaw and threw your fragile body to the floor, even ignored your pleas, but it doesn't mean he deserved that…right?

You had no answer. 

What troubled you even more is his expressionless face, who didn't even display a hint of pain at such a brutal attack, inflicted by himself. What exactly was wrong with him?

You decided to care less. What mattered more is the movement of the doors which opened to reveal prince ren. He entered the room with his calm demeanor, and polite expression. 

You cannot fathom how he was the same person who made gojo stab his hand in just one order. 

“You're awake.” He said nearing your bed, and dismissed your effort of standing up with a hand gesture. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, I do prince ren.” You bow your head, “that's great, I was quite worried for you,..” 

“Worried? Excuse my words but why must the crown prince worry for me?” 

“I just happened to make an observation,” he settled on a chair near your bed, picking up some freshly cut pears and passing it to you, wanting you to have it. Not wanting to refuse the prince you comply with his desires, “that your body is quite frail, how long have you been practicing it?” 

“Huh? Practicing? Practicing what, your highness?” 

“Mithridatism.” 

You still, no more chewing the fleshy fruit rather gulping it down, “ah…I apologise I don't get it.” 

“How long have you been poisoning yourself?” 

“Why would I poison myself?” 

“Oblivious. Aren't you? Your body reeks of strong poisons, these veins on your wrists, don't you think they are too blue, too noticeable? Since you seem to know nothing about this, it concludes your parents or specifically your father, the one you're so desperate to return back to— has been poisoning you little by little for years.” 

“You're sprawling nonsense…” the prince chuckled in amusement, particularly not minding the lack of your poise, “am I?” He picked up another piece of pear, going to the other corner of the room, where caged was a little swallow. The small bird innocently fed on some of it as the prince smiled, humming a tune which made you uneasy. 

“What exactly are you doing prince ren?” You couldn't help but question his actions. Whatever he was doing didn't feel right. “Hmm, just feeding a bird.” 

You watched him confused, a while later the bird fell off the perch, the little swallow was dead. “What?” You're breathing quickened as you realised what exactly the prince was implying. “I fed the same poison to you and this bird, yet you're still alive whereas the bird is not, do you know what that means? It means your body has been consuming poisons for so long that it has grown immune to it....” 

You swallowed thickly, unable to form any words, the prince came near you, “I wasn't sure so I decided I'd try experimenting.” 

“And what if you were wrong…what if..what if I died?” You ask, letting out a calculated breath, trying to process whatever truth about you were getting enlightened on. “Then I could have blamed your death on the enemies, plus who would care for a crane.” 

You still couldn't believe it, you didn't know why you agreed to the prince’s terms but you did. For you had no other choice, the prince promised you anything you want would be granted if you spy for him. All you wanted was to go back home to your father, but all this while he'd been poisoning you? You didn't know what to feel about it. You said you'd take time thinking about what you want after all the prince wants is for you to spy for him in the Tsubaki house, and report any interaction between prince shota and gojo. 

“Why prince shota? Isn't he your brother?” You questioned, when he chuckled at you, “brother by blood is a crack forged on a sword. I do not grant my trust simply…” 

“But you're trusting me to spy for you…” 

“Since you're bound to follow my orders. And I know you don't trust me nor I'd ask to. Only a fool would make such a mistake.”

“I'm not bound, I am meant to be taken in by your brother, and If I want I can reveal it all to him, about how you ask me to spy on him.” you hiss your defiance at him, which twists his court smile into one of satire.

“oh do you think you will be safe under his wing? Young crane, have not understood him yet, he's a hunter, all he wants to do with you is to green-gown you, and once it's done he will throw you away to get you used by his followers.”

You felt numb, confused and lost. It was too much for you to take and too much for you to grasp, unsure of what was happening around you. 

He even removed restrictions on you being held captive. you were free to move as long as you're inside the boundaries of the Tsubaki house. All you had to do is spy on each movement of gojo; let the other spies of prince ren in the Tsubaki house and report to him your observation. And in between all the 10 days you've spent in the Tsubaki house near gojo, Fushiguro and a guilty Yuji who has been avoiding you, nothing happened which needed serious report. 

It was the day of coronation, a three day function to celebrate by the immortals and vow their oath as a new king is crowned. You heard Fushiguro speaking to Yuji about how prince ren isn't going to start his reign with the blood crown passed down since generations, rather he ordered the forging of a new blood crown, which is why this coronation would be three days long. 

And as promised, after his coronation, the prince would grant you anything you want, but what would you ask? You had nothing to desire anymore. Except for your soul, and even if you have your soul you'd have to go back to the mortal realm— to a father who poisoned you. 

But staying is even worse, it'd question your chastity. 

The royal chamber swayed with immortals of high ranks and officials, you notice the other kins to the royal family—Princess nanako and najimi. You also spot the betrothed of prince ren, lady harumi. 

The god of death soon made his arrival and so did the god of wind and goddess of motherhood and even more, that you struggled remembering their titles. 

Prince Ren made sure it was perfect, and it was until— princess nanako, the eldest kin to the sea god clan, came forward, her hand glazed with the new blood crown, gold threads of pearls suspended to it. The former blood crown laid behind the canopy, on a low table, where the soon to be former sea god sat on his throne. Its silhouette is visible to all.

The new oaths were to be taken and the crown was soon to be adorned on the prince's mighty head— as long as he had a head. 

Prince shota twisted his sword, wrenching the guts of his kin, his eldest sister before drawing the sword back, her screaming figure fell to the floor, so did the new crown.

Everything was a mess, the crowd freaked out and when Ren came protesting with a sword ready to fight his kin, it was the god of death stabbing him right through his stomach. 

He betrayed prince ren— for prince shota. And the next you blink your eyes you see Ren's head cut off rolling on the marbled floor. 

You felt something wet on your face. These 10 days you've been convinced you couldn't feel anything yet when you raised your hand to wipe it off your face, expecting to see the splattered blood, you see your tears, spilling continuously from your eyes. 

Prince Ren was dead. And so was your only guarantor of your wish. Even though you couldn't trust him, prince shota is even more not to trust, now that you knew what his intentions with you were. 

You dart your head around, coming out of your daze, you need to run as fast as you can from this place or else you will be dead meat. Everyone was running here and there while some took the scene in amusement. The goddess of motherhood, who was supposed to be kind, glances at the scene, quietly sipping on her drink, not a single drop of motherly kindness glazed in her eyes. It was as if she was enjoying the indiscriminate slaughter. 

You shift your focus to fushiguro and Yuji, who seemed to help commoners get out of the high palace. Gojo was nowhere to be seen, you make your way to them when some commoners among the massacre take out their grudges, seeking this as their perfect chance to get away with a murder. 

Horrified you fall back, your robes are now tainted in red, you don't know how or from where, pushing past crowds of so called immortals, you find yourself in a secret chamber, where the figure of gojo, seemed to be in a daze. 

Bewildered, you grab a candelabrum, posing as a weapon to any threat he displays. Gojo, who seemed to have noticed your presence, didn't stand up, rather stayed stuck to his place. His long white hair fell from the top of his ribbon knot. The piece of midnight silk was discarded on the floor, “y/n…” he said.

Hearing your name from his mouth sounded unfamiliar to you. For a moment you found yourself contemplating if you heard it right, and then doubting he even knew your name. He takes a step forward to you, “Don't you dare…” 

Gojo stills at your words, before asking “dare what y/n?” 

“Don’t come near me…” 

“....I understand. I won't. And I can't.” 

You frown even more. He just simply agreed? Something about him doesn't sit right with you. It just doesn't. Taking your surroundings properly you notice, he wasn't sitting on the chair, rather he was plopped perfectly bound to the chair, chains of metal wrapped around wrists and feets, securing him tight, unable to escape.

You swallow an unwanted bubble of laugh creeping past your lips. He, once ordered to enslave you, was here captured and chair to a mere chair. What a shame. 

Gathering more confidence than you needed you put the candelabrum down and search around the room until you find a perfect piece of dagger— to threaten him. 

You already have enough of it and it's not like days spent in this immortal realm made you any less crazy. “And who dared to bind you to this mere chair?

“Suguru.” face still devoid of any expression. 

“ahh I see, you kind of deserve this.” you mock, staring into the hollow eyes of the white haired, till you felt something so overpowering that you turned your head away. “Oh.” He said. 

“And you won't attempt running away?” You say grazing the tip of the dagger down his face to his neck, wondering if the space barrier would avoid the tip touching the skin but it didn't. “I am not allowed to…”

“And why so?” he didn't answer you for a few minutes, before you realise he doesn't want to answer you, when you press the tip of the dagger more firmly to his neck.

“.....a curse.” 

You tilt your head, amused, finding it hysterical. So the gojo satoru, head of the Tsubaki house, and the right hand of the dead crown prince all while bound to a mere curse, “what curse?” you interrogate further, unable to best yourself taking advantage of his situation.

“...a curse which binds me to words.” You pinch your brows together, at which he explains further, “of any person imposing those on me.” 

“So you won't be able to do anything unless someone tells you to…” he nods, “and by that you mean anyone?” He nodded, hesitation peeking his vacant face for the first time, exciting you even more. You still find it hard to look straight to his dark hollow eyes but the way knowing about his weakness courses energy through you, you find yourself mocking him, staring right at his eyes.

“even me?” You ask in a knowing tone, already guessing his answer at the delay of his response, “I'd count that as a yes.” It is fun. Why did you even come here in the first place, you didn't remember, but seeing him, satoru gojo weak, had you giggling inside your head. 

“So gojo, you know that I hate you…right? What do you feel about me?” you ask, bringing your mouth near his. 

“If you want an answer, I would like to reciprocate the same feeling of hatred, which you hold in account for me.” 

“And how would you feel, if the person you hate so much had you underneath…” you closed a bit more distance between you both, similar to the situation you'd been in before, when he hovered over you, limping your body to the floor. His eyes still had chills running down your spine yet you refused to look away. “I'd be humiliated.” 

“Is that so? How about you kiss the person you hate instead, that'd be even more humiliating, don't you think.” gojo doesn't answer you, rather slips his eyes down to your lips and gulps as you bring them even closer. You press the dagger in his neck, piercing his skin, yet he didn't seemed as alert as when you bring your other hand near his hair and yank his head. 

“Isn't this what you did to me? How does it feels?” 

Gojo doesn't answers you, bringing your head near, you open your mouth to ask again, when gojo tilts his head at you, as if begging to— you near his lips as he captures yours with a devouring kiss. 

His lips moved around yours, sucking the plump of your fleshes so feverishly, if you didn't knew better you'd think he has been secretly craving for you all this time, but you did know better, he was just disgusted by the fact that he was kissing you. And it humiliated him, the first expression you've ever seen in his face, as you find hits of crimson slowly spreading across his ears. 

His lashes brushed against your skin, and in order to humiliate him even more, you let go of the dagger, hands cupping his cheeks deepening the kiss. 

You slipped your tongue in his mouth, as gojo sucked on your sweet juices, the tingly sensation seemed to grow your brain mushy, when all of a sudden he pulled away. 

“What happened?” You blink innocently as you watch him coughing, and wheezing, soon followed by blood spilling out of his mouth, staining his robes. 

“Oh, I might have poisoned you…” you forgot you had the toxin of the crimson lily before on your way to the high palace. Or maybe you didn't. 

Gojo halts his coughing a bit as he looked up at you, he spits blood from his mouth, some dripping down his chin as a smirk spreads across his cheeks, causing you to take back your taunting smile. 

His dark pupils dilated, and if you weren't hallucinating, you might have seen his dark eyes break out in a colour of brilliant blue. 

“What vicious plan are you plotting against my heart y/n?” 

It’s easier to imagine it that way, isn’t it? Easier to think of yourself as someone turned to glass, smoothed over and sealed shut, rather than acknowledge the fractures your murderer left behind. Easier to believe the silence is yours, not his. That it’s you who has taken up residence behind that invisible barrier, rather than admitting that someone else built it for you.

Sometimes, you wonder if he’s still proud of his handiwork.

Your therapist once told you that silence isn’t the absence of sound—it’s a choice, an act of power. But it doesn’t feel powerful when you’re here, sitting alone with the weight of your thoughts pressing into your chest, nursing your usual morning cup of tea. It doesn’t feel like a choice when the words twist themselves into knots inside you, stuck behind walls you’ve never been able to climb. It feels, instead, like a kind of stillness you can’t escape.

It wasn’t always like this. You remember a time when your voice felt whole, unbroken, like the summer wind passing through your window. Back then, you used to laugh with abandon, a sound so natural it felt like breathing. You remember because it’s impossible to forget what was taken from you.

Your murderer took that from you. Not all at once, of course—he wasn’t that kind. He dismantled you piece by piece, word by word, until you were something new. Something smaller. Something that fit in the palm of his hand, ready to be admired and forgotten at his convenience.

You close your eyes against the memory, swallowing the bitter ache that always follows it. You think you might be okay with being admired, so long as you never have to see him again.

You should probably stop thinking. You have to leave for work in fifteen minutes. A teacher assistant position at the nearby kindergarten. If you had asked your high school what you would be doing in the future, a teacher would be the last on the list. Of course, you cherish children. Their little laughs and curious questions bring you a warmth and joy that’s hard to find nowadays. The head teacher, Emi Inoue, is a wonderful older lady.

You love your job. Sure you’d like it if it paid more, but it’s better than any retail position.

Besides, working with children has given you a better sense of empathy, compassion, and patience. Something you desperately need in child care.

The crispy air flies past your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Wearing a long, but modest skirt. Paired with a simple long sleeved shirt, your lanyard hanging around your neck, covering your shivering body with the only coat that offers you enough warmth. You should probably go shopping sometime soon again.

The train station isn’t far, luckily. A soft song playing from the buds lodged in your ears, hands stuffed in your pockets as you and other working civilians of Shibuya. Within ten minutes, the train makes its stop. The doors slide open and you make your way inside. Most of the interior is stuffed, presumably so considering its rush hour and people need to get to work. Luckily, you manage to find a tiny clearing—standing the entirety of the forty minute ride.

You keep a tight hold on the silver bar, forcing your body to stay in place and not jolt around as the train continues on. The vibrations of the train hum beneath your feet, a rhythmic reminder of your path forward. The soft song in your ears competes with the muffled chatter and occasional announcements over the intercom. Your grip on the silver bar is firm, fingers chilled despite the warmth of your coat. Around you, people shuffle in and out at each stop, their movements mechanical, heads bowed over phones or staring blankly at nothing in particular.

The man beside you adjusts his briefcase, brushing against your arm, and you instinctively shrink further into yourself. You’re not a fan of the close quarters, but it’s unavoidable during rush hour. You remind yourself this ride is temporary, that the crowded carriage is just a bridge between here and there. That doesn’t stop you from moving a few inches away.

Outside the window, the city blurs into a wash of concrete, neon signs, and fleeting glimpses of people starting their day. A quiet sigh escapes you as you press your shoulder closer to the cold pole, grounding yourself against the lurching movements of the train. Forty minutes feels like an eternity when you’re standing still, surrounded but untouchable. The song in your earbuds shifts, a gentler melody now, one that tugs at memories you’ve tried to push away. You shake your head slightly, trying to focus on the present—the sway of the train, the weight of your bag, the familiar tightness in your chest that you’ve learned to ignore.

At least no one asks questions when you’re quiet. Silence is an art form here, unspoken but deeply understood. It wraps around you, offering a small comfort in the chaos of a city that never seems to stop moving. The train jerks to a stop again, this time more abruptly, and the woman in front of you stumbles. You reach out instinctively, your hand brushing hers as you steady her. She mutters a quick “thank you” without meeting your eyes, and you offer a slight nod in return before retreating.

The moments bleed into each other, a series of starts and stops, until the train finally announces your destination. You weave through the crowd as the doors slide open, stepping onto the platform and into the crisp air again. It bites at your cheeks, but you welcome it. The world outside feels a little freer, even if it isn’t really.

As you make your way toward the stairs, your gaze falls on the station clock. Still on time, at least. You adjust your bag on your shoulder, tugging your coat closer to your body as you join the river of people flowing upward. Another day, another destination, another silent step forward. You can do this.

A buzz vibrates in your coat pocket. Picking out your phone and turning it on, the name Ieiri is posted, followed by a message. A small smile forms on your lips as you unlock your phone and go to your messages.

Ieiri:

Breakfast.

And it’s a picture of a lot cigarette between her two fingers, a plate of white rice to the side.

You sigh, eyes rolling lightheartedly as you type back a response:

You:

Not healthy, do u have groceries?

Ieiri:

Nope

You:

Then we’ll go together

Ieiri:

Lol it’s fine, Y/N

You shake your head, stepping out the way of an older man who seems to not care about watching where he’s going.

You:

We’ll go

Is what you end with, locking your phone again and putting it back in your pocket as you enter the gates of the school. The staff and teachers politely greet you. With a wave and smile back, you walk to the familiar room of Room 132. The children aren’t here yet, Mrs. Inoue and you using this time to set up the room for the upcoming day.

The classroom smells faintly of chalk and the citrus cleaner the janitors must have used the night before. Room 132 has always been a small but cozy space, its walls decorated with colorful posters, crayon drawings, and motivational quotes in blocky fonts. You glance around, taking in the comforting familiarity of it all.

Mrs. Inoue is already there, humming softly to herself as she arranges supplies on one of the low tables. She’s always been the early bird between the two of you, her energy a steady constant in the whirlwind of your mornings. “Oh, good morning!” she greets cheerfully, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I was wondering when you’d get here. It’s chilly out, isn’t it?”

You nod with a small smile, shrugging off your coat and hanging it on the rack by the door. The warmth of the classroom is a welcome reprieve from the biting air outside, and you take a moment to savor it before moving to help her.

“We’re going to need extra paper for the art project today,” Mrs. Inoue continues, gesturing to a nearby shelf. “And maybe an extra set of paints too. You know how much they love to mix all the colors together into one big muddy mess.”

The corner of your mouth twitches upward at that. It’s true—your students have a way of turning even the most structured activity into pure chaos. But it’s the kind of chaos you don’t mind. You grab the supplies she mentioned, setting them out on the tables in neat, colorful rows. The work feels methodical, soothing even, as the room slowly comes to life with the promise of the day ahead. “Do you have the attendance chart?” Mrs. Inoue asks, her voice breaking your focus. You hum, retrieving it from your bag and handing it to her. “Thanks! I’ll get started on marking the seating arrangements.” She pauses, glancing at you over her shoulder. “By the way, are you feeling okay? You seemed a little out of it yesterday.”

You hesitate, the question catching you off guard. But Mrs. Inoue doesn’t push; she never does. Her tone is light, her expression warm, like she’s offering you an out if you need it.

“I’m fine,” you say finally, your voice soft but steady. She nods, accepting your answer without prying further. The silence that follows is comfortable, punctuated only by the faint sound of the heating system kicking on. Soon, the time will come where the students start trickling in, and the room will fill with laughter, chatter, and tiny voices calling your name.

For now, though, it’s just you, Mrs. Inoue, and the quiet promise of a new day.

Before you know it, there’s the tiny patter of feet against the floor, followed by excited screams of “Good morning, Mrs. Inoue! Good Morning, Ms. L/N!”

The noise floods the room like a wave, and for a moment, you're almost taken aback by the sudden shift. It’s always like this—the children bounding in with that infectious energy, their little faces lighting up with excitement. Their voices blend together in a sweet chorus of greetings as they run to their seats, eager to start the day. You smile softly, the weight of their energy lifting something inside you. “Good morning, everyone,” you reply, your voice silky but clear enough to be heard over the commotion. A few of them pause mid-stride, turning to beam at you as if their morning isn’t complete without that small exchange. It’s a ritual, a moment you’ve come to cherish despite everything else.

One of the kids, Ayumi, shyly tugs on your sleeve as she passes by. "Ms. L/N, I drew something for you!" Her small, crinkled drawing of a smiley sun and a big flower is presented with a proud grin. You bend down to meet her, taking the drawing gently and nodding in appreciation.

"Thank you, Ayumi," you say with sincerity, tucking it into the pocket of your apron for safekeeping. She beams, pleased by your reaction. The other children are settling into their seats now, the others still hanging up their tiny backpacks. The noise slowly dying down as Mrs. Inoue begins to go over the day’s schedule. You move to your desk, organizing your own materials for the upcoming lessons.

There's something comforting about this routine, about how predictable and grounded the children's excitement makes the world feel. Even if you don't speak much, even if the silence weighs heavily on you some days, in this room, with these kids, you feel like you belong.

The chatter resumes as they prepare for the first activity, but you don't mind. In this space, you're safe. The world outside might be noisy, chaotic, even isolating—but here, in Room 132, it’s just a quiet promise of another day.

The kids here, they’ve accepted that. Sometimes they ask the blatant question like why are you so quiet or if you don’t like talking. Each time, you regard them with a low chuckle, carefully explaining that you talk when you have to.

“But don’t we always have to talk, Ms. L/N?” One of your students had asked, head tilting in confusion.

Your lips upturn warmly, the question never getting easier to answer, but you’ve grown used to it. The innocence in their voices, their genuine curiosity, makes it harder to simply brush it off. You leaned down to meet the little one’s gaze, the child’s wide eyes watching you intently.

“Well,” you began, choosing your words carefully, “sometimes, I don’t need to talk to show that I’m listening, or that I’m here with you." You paused for a moment, glancing around at the other children who are now focused on the conversation. "Talking isn’t always the only way to communicate, is it?"

Some of them nod slowly, processing the idea, while others remain puzzled, unsure of how to make sense of the concept. It’s a delicate thing, explaining the layers of silence to young minds who are still learning the value of words.

"I still listen to you," you continue, pointing to your ears, "and I still care about what you say. But sometimes, I choose other ways to show that." You then tap your heart lightly, a gesture that seems to make sense to them, one that they can latch onto without needing to understand the deeper complexities.

The student who asked the question, Haruto, looks thoughtful for a moment, then shrugs. “Oh, okay! So you don’t always need to talk. You just…know?”

You nod, offering him an encouraging smile. "Exactly. Sometimes, knowing is enough."

They all seemed content with that answer, the conversation naturally shifting as they returned to their work. But you can’t shake the feeling that the question lingered in the air long after the words had left their mouths. It’s a reminder that, even in a room full of children, the silence you carry is still something to be questioned, to be examined.

But for now, you’ve found your peace in their acceptance, in their unspoken understanding. And that, you think, is enough.

It’s around seven in the evening now. Shoko and you walk into the grocery store, side by side as she pushes a small cart. You’ve gotten on your friend multiple times now about her less than savory eating habits. She’s a smoker, so you try to give her enough leeway.

But still. She tends to neglect herself at times, and being the good friend you are, you’re there to correct that when you see it happen. Of course she helps you out too for your own situations.

The fluorescent lights buzz softly overhead as you and Shoko make your way through the aisles. The store isn’t too crowded, the hum of casual chatter and the occasional squeak of shopping carts filling the air. She lazily steers the cart, her free hand stuffed into the pocket of her jacket. “You know, I could just order takeout for the week and call it a day,” she says, glancing at you from the corner of her eye.

“You could,” you reply with a knowing look, “but then I’d have to come over and lecture you about how your fridge only ever has beer and instant noodles.”

She chuckles, shaking her head. “You’re relentless, you know that?”

“I have to be. Someone has to keep you alive,” you frown, reaching out to grab a bundle of fresh vegetables from the shelf. You toss it into the cart, earning a groan from Shoko.

“Do I look like someone who knows what to do with broccoli?” she mutters, but there’s no real bite to her words.

You sigh softly, grabbing another item and placing it beside the broccoli. “You don’t have to know. That’s what recipes are for.”

She pauses, leaning against the handle of the cart as you pick out a loaf of bread. “You’re too good to me, you know,” she says after a moment, her voice softer now.

You glance at her, raising a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shrugs, a small smile tugging at her lips. “I mean, you’re the only one who cares enough to do stuff like this. Dragging me to the store, making sure I don’t waste away on convenience store snacks…”

“That’s what friends are for,” you reply simply, grabbing a pack of her favorite tea and dropping it into the cart.

She huffs a quiet laugh, pushing the cart forward again. “Yeah, well, remind me to return the favor next time you’re in a rut.”

You don’t say anything, but the smile on your face speaks volumes. The two of you continue down the aisles, the easy rhythm of your friendship filling the spaces between the mundane task of grocery shopping. It’s a small moment, but one that feels steady, grounding. By the time you reach the checkout line, Shoko’s cart is filled with a mix of healthy staples and a few indulgent snacks she managed to sneak in when you weren’t looking. She leans against the counter as you both wait, glancing at you again. “Thanks, really,” she says quietly, her tone carrying more sincerity than before.

You offer her a small nod, your way of saying anytime.

Shoko was the first person you met when starting to work in Tokyo. It was by random, on a sunny Saturday morning while completing your usual coffee run. The memory of that first meeting still lingers vividly in your mind, even after all this time. Shoko had been standing at the counter, her hair slightly messy, dressed in scrubs under an oversized hoodie, clearly on a break or just off a shift. She had glanced over at you while waiting for her coffee, and for some reason, she struck up a conversation—a mix of casual observations and dry humor that somehow coaxed a rare chuckle out of you. And honestly, you weren’t used to people like her—confident but not overbearing, witty without being cruel. She wasn’t trying to force you into anything, just filling the space in a way that felt oddly reassuring.

It became a regular thing after that, running into her at the same coffee shop every Saturday morning. Slowly but surely, the encounters turned into an unspoken tradition. She’d do most of the talking, and you’d offer her your quiet company, which she came to appreciate more than she’d admit. Though most of the conversations were spent with her own voice filling the air, you would still find it in you to acknowledge her. At first, she was put off. She’s not exactly the loudest and most extroverted person, either. But with you, she realized the silence was nice. Comfortable even. Like a break of fresh air after a busy, busy day of an OBGYN.

As of now, she’s the only one you find yourself spending time with outside of work and home. You like the simplicity. Now, years later, the dynamic hasn’t changed much. Shoko remains your anchor in Tokyo, a constant presence who understands your silences better than most. It’s not perfect—she has her moments of self-destruction, and you have your walls—but it works.

It took a while for you to open up to her, and once you did, she welcomed every incident, every emotion, every hesitation with open arms. She’s the kind of friend who knows when to push you to eat something or when to leave you be, when to crack open a beer (even though you don’t drink, making your own virgin margarita) with you in silence or pull you out of your shell for a late-night convenience store run.

In a way, she’s your best friend. You haven’t said that part out loud yet, even if you two have been friends for about three, almost four years now. But you think she knows, she has to. Neither of you really like the labels, and you’re fine with just being Shoko and Y/N. Neither of you needs to put a name to it, this friendship. It exists in the spaces between words, in the easy routine of your grocery trips, the casual texts about nothing in particular, and the quiet understanding that you’ve got each other’s backs.

As the two of you leave the store, the plastic bags swinging from Shoko’s hands, she glances over at you, smirking. “So, what’s the verdict? Did I pass the responsible adult grocery list test?”

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. “Barely.”

She nudges you with her elbow, her grin widening. “Guess I’ll have to try harder next time.”

You help her out the bags into the trunk of her black Mazda CX-5. Once that’s complete, you head into the passenger seat, her the driver's seat. She starts the engine and pulls off the curb, driving the route back to your apartment. The music of her playlist plays for a few minutes, the two of you speaking no words. At the third red light, she clears her throat and shifts in her seat. “Hey, so I’m meeting up with some friends this Saturday night at Speakeasy. I was wondering if you wanted to come. You don’t have to, but it’s just an offer if you’re not busy.”

You glance out the window, watching the city lights flicker past as her words hang in the air. Speakeasy—a bar with dim lighting, soft music, and a reputation for being both lively and intimate. It’s not the kind of place you frequent, but you know Shoko wouldn’t ask unless she thought it might be good for you. Still, the idea of stepping into a crowded room full of strangers makes your chest tighten slightly. You turn your head to look at her, the faint glow of the streetlights casting soft shadows across her face. "Who’s going to be there?" you ask, your voice barely louder than the music playing from her speakers.

“Just a few people I went to med school and high school with,” she replies casually, her fingers drumming against the steering wheel. “Nothing too crazy. You’d like them, I think. They’re not the obnoxious kind, well maybe only one of them. But I don’t know if he’ll be there.”

You hum in acknowledgment, weighing the decision. You know Shoko wouldn’t push if you said no—she never does. But there’s a part of you that wonders if maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to try something new. To let her world blend into yours for an evening. “I’ll think about it,” you say finally, giving her a small smile.

Shoko glances at you briefly before focusing back on the road, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. “That’s not a no. I’ll take it.”

The light turns green, and the car lurches forward. By the time she pulls up in front of your apartment, the decision still lingers in the back of your mind. Shoko leans against the steering wheel, her eyes glancing over at you as you gather your things. “Don’t stress about it,” she says softly, her tone uncharacteristically gentle. “But, you know… it could be fun.”

You nod before stepping out of the car. “Thanks for the ride. Eat well.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she calls after you as you close the door.

As you head inside, you can’t help but replay her words in your mind. The thought of going out, of meeting new people—it feels daunting, but not entirely impossible. For now, though, you’ll leave it as something to consider.

“Wakey, wakey.”

The sound of a woman sleepily groaning sounds throughout the room, to which Satoru is internally celebrating because he won’t have to resort to other methods (hitting her with a pillow or snatching the—his—blanket off her body, or if he really wanted to be obnoxious, playing a loud sound of an alarm clock in her ear). Her eyes blearily open, seeing his lower half initially, but they travel up to his face. He’s already staring down at her with a smile that’s all too cheery for…..eight in the morning.

“W–wha–”

“Guess what it’s time for. Any guesses?” He uses his fist as a fake microphone, humming with his eyes pointed to the ceiling in faux thought. A second of silence passes before he continues. “Ah, nothing? Well, I’ll give you a hint. What starts with an ‘L’ and ends with a ‘E’?”

Seriously, this is not what she was expecting first thing in the morning. “I—huh….?”

“Errr, 500 for time to leave?” Satoru lowers his pitch of voice, mimicking another person speaking. “Correct!” He returns back to his own tone, but once he sees the woman is still laying down in the same position on his bed with that confused expression that’s starting to get a little on his nerves, he rolls his eyes dramatically and sighs. “Get up.”

She gasps as he lifts her up by her arms, not too rough but still enough to jostle the sleepiness away from her senses. “Ah! Hey! What the hell are you doing?!” Satoru is practically dragging her out to his room and to the front door. He’s tempted to yank his shirt off her body, but then she’d be left naked. And Satoru isn’t that much of an asshole. With his free hand, he rips the door open and practically pushes her out. She stumbles and turns around to face him.

“Had a good night and all, but sorry, I don’t like visitors. Get home safe, yeah?”

He closes and locks the door in her face just as she opens her mouth. He can faintly hear her complaining on the other side, to which he rolls his eyes again and mumbles a small “dramatic” under his breath, before stalking over to the kitchen with a hum to make his breakfast.

And so, he moves in relative calmness, seemingly already pushing the situation out his mind for room for his delicious pancakes topped with copious amounts of syrup and sliced strawberries. Oh, but don’t forget the powdered sugar he layers as the final topping, served with a glass of cool orange juice. His mouth is practically watering as he sits down at his table with the plate in front of him, begging him eat me, eat me. Satoru has never had good self control, so he gives into the silent pleading and instantly devours at a speed that should honestly be concerning for him.

The rest of his house is empty and quiet, save for his slobbering. But it’s always silent. After all, he is the only occupant, savoring his alone time. It’s why he kicked out that woman. Sasha? Or maybe Sarah? He forgot already. This is what most of his mornings consist of, anyway. So yes, in conclusion, he’s very used to this little routine he has going on.

The list goes like this. First, make stupid decisions and come back with a woman around your arm. Fuck her good, wake up the next morning and not regret it, but rather remove any traces of the mistake as soon as possible. Once that’s over, eat breakfast, head to your in-home gym to do his routine workout. Clean up and see which one of your friends you can bother. Oh but how could he forget work. Right, so work while you’re bothering people. Sleep and repeat. Luckily, he doesn’t have a lecture until 11:30.

He doesn’t always bring a woman home, but if he had to say how many times a week he does, he would only say three. Which really isn’t that much, he tells himself. Because there’s times where he doesn’t even sleep with them. Either he suddenly gets a weird pre-nut clarity, the sex isn’t good just only one minute in, or they start drunkenly crying to him about whatever mid-life crisis they’re going through.

To which he scoffs and rolls his eyes and promptly kicks them out.

Some would—do—call his lifestyle bad. Unhealthy. Whatever, he thinks. He’s a grown man, he could literally do whatever the hell he wanted. He’s clean and gets tested regularly, that’s all that matters, isn’t it? His friends try to get him to stop this stupid and reckless path he’s going down, but it almost always ends in him shrugging them off and continuing anyway.

Satoru likes the freedom, the ability to do what he wants without some bitch in his ear complaining about how ‘you need to stop this’. He has money, a good house, looks, smarts, everything. Really, he’s the full package. Satoru is a fairly happy-going person, he likes control. But when other people try to take that away from him, it almost sends him into a state of anger. Even if it’s out of love or whatever they say it’s for, still. He likes having control over himself and his life. So, who do these people think they are trying to tell him otherwise? They’re just lucky he’s smart enough to walk away before he says or does something he’ll more than likely forget. He doesn’t regret much, but one thing he does and always will regret is hurting those he holds close.

You could say that’s part of the reason he engages in so many of these little hookups and flings. No strings, no emotional attachment, nothing. He doesn’t have to worry about saying or doing the wrong thing because he’ll never see them again after this. They’ll be gone first thing in the morning, then he’ll have the rest of the day to himself.

What doesn’t sound better than that?

He spends the next hour in his gym, trying to rush a bit so he still has time to freshen up before his lecture.

The ringing of his phone cuts him off just as he’s in the middle of his third set of pull ups. He almost doesn’t answer, but with a stolen glance at the screen of his phone with the name and contact photo plastered on it, he sighs, but continues on with his pull ups. “Alexa, answer the phone.”

“Accepting a call from ‘sugurupoo’.” Alexa replies back in her usual monotone voice, it almost makes Satoru laugh at the stupid name he set years ago.

“Satoru, where are you right now?”

“Why?” he grunts out, laughing. “You lookin’ for me?”

Suguru sighs. “I thought we were having a quick bite before our lectures.”

“Ah,” Satoru hums, setting his feet down onto the ground, wiping his forehead with a rag. “Right, I forgot about our little date.”

“First, it’s not a date. And second, you’re an ass. I’ve been waiting for you to show up for twenty minutes now.”

Satoru chuckles, the sound light and teasing. “Twenty minutes? Damn, I didn’t know you missed me that much.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Suguru bites back, though his irritation is softened by the familiarity of their banter. “Where are you?”

“Gym,” Satoru replies, tilting his head to glance at the clock on the wall. “Lost track of time. You know how it is—getting these gains takes commitment.”

“Unbelievable,” Suguru mutters. “You’re bailing on food to flex in front of a mirror?”

“Not just a mirror,” Satoru retorts, grinning. “There’s a crowd, actually. They love me here.”

“You mean your delusions?” Suguru deadpans.

Satoru laughs again, stretching. The sound of his joints popping audible through the phone. “Fine, fine. I’ll head out. You still at the café?”

“Yes,” Suguru says sharply. “But I’m not waiting all day for you, so hurry up.”

“Relax, I’m on my way,” Satoru says, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Don’t eat without me.”

“I’m tempted to,” Suguru mutters before hanging up.

Satoru grins to himself, heading upstairs to the main house. He’s late, sure, but it’s not like Suguru hasn’t come to expect that by now. If anything, it’s part of the charm of being friends with Satoru Gojo—or so he likes to think.

He does a quick shower, changing into a pale blue button up with black slacks to match. A pair of black shoes and his glasses and he’s out. He beeps his Porsche 911 Turbo S in blue, nonchalantly sliding into the drivers side and heading off to the meeting spot with his friend. Using his right hand on the wheel, his other rhythmically tapping against his car door to the beat of the music playing.

In just a few minutes, he parks in two spots and steps out of the car, his sunglasses glinting in the afternoon light as he locks the doors with a press of his key fob. The Porsche chirps in response, drawing a few passing glances from people walking by. He adjusts his neat button-up, tugging at the cuffs to loosen them slightly, and strides toward the café with his usual air of confidence.

The door jingles softly as he steps inside, scanning the room for Suguru. It doesn’t take long to spot him—seated near the window, his long hair tied back, a cup of coffee steaming in front of him.

“About time,” Suguru calls out as Satoru approaches, his tone half-annoyed, half-amused. “Thought you might’ve gotten lost.”

Satoru grins, sliding into the seat across from him. “Me? Lost? Never. You’re just impatient.”

Suguru raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of his coffee. “You’re forty minutes late. I could’ve eaten and left by now.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t,” Satoru says, leaning back in his chair, legs outspread with a smirk. “Because deep down, you enjoy my company too much to leave.”

Suguru rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue, instead pushing a menu toward Satoru. “Order something and spare me the theatrics.”

Satoru picks up the menu, glancing at it briefly before setting it down. “I’ll just get the usual. No need to overthink it.”

“The usual being half the menu?” Suguru asks dryly.

“Hey, a man’s like me gotta eat,” Satoru says with a shrug, flagging down a waiter with an easy wave.

As they place their orders and settle into the familiar rhythm of conversation, Satoru can’t help but feel a sense of ease. Despite his tendency to push boundaries—and Suguru’s patience—their friendship remains a constant, grounding him in a way few things do.

“So,” Suguru says after a moment, leaning forward slightly. “How’d last night go for you?”

Satoru laughs, shaking his head. “How do you think?” Pointing to a faint hickey hidden under the collar of his shirt.

“Right,” Suguru says, sighing. “You really have no restraint, you know? You can work at eight in the morning but still stay out until three the previous night.”

“Finally, someone gets it,” Satoru replies, grinning.

Suguru exhales but can’t hide the small smirk tugging at his lips. “Did you at least shower before coming here?”

Satoru flashes him another grin. “Don’t I smell delightful?”

“Like regret and bad decisions,” Suguru rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee.

Satoru laughs. “C’mon, live a little. I had a great night, and now I’m here, ready to be the best company you’ve ever had.”

Suguru watches him for a moment, shaking his head with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“And you wouldn’t have me any other way,” Satoru quips, popping the piece of muffin into his mouth as soon as it’s placed in front of his best friend by the waiter.

The other man scoffs but doesn’t argue, instead pushing the plate closer to Satoru. “You’re paying for your own food, by the way.”

“You are so not a gentleman.”

“Not to men, I’m not.”

“So if I were a woman, you’d act charming and like a true man?”

“Hah, you fuckin’ wish.”

“I do,” Satoru replies easily, checking the time on his phone. An hour and a half left.

His friend ignores that remark, crossing his arms as he sets his drink down. “Hey, so are you going to the thing on Saturday?”

Satoru raises an eyebrow, head tilting. “The thing?” he echoes, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “You’re gonna have to be more specific, Suguru. I get invited to a lot of things.”

Suguru exhales sharply through his nostrils, clearly unamused. “The gathering at Speakeasy. Shoko mentioned it. A bunch of us are meeting up there.”

“Ohhh, that thing,” Satoru says, dragging out the words like he just remembered. He tilts his head the other way, tapping a finger against his chin. “Depends. Who all’s gonna be there?”

“The usual crowd,” Suguru replies. “Shoko, a few people from her med school, some others I think you’ll tolerate.”

Satoru smirks. “Tolerate? You make it sound like I’m hard to please.”

“You are,” Suguru shoots back, his tone dry. “But Shoko insisted on inviting you, and for some reason, I agreed.”

“I’m honored,” Satoru says, placing a hand over his heart in mock sincerity. “Fine, I’ll come. But only because I like to make these things interesting.”

Suguru raises an eyebrow. “Interesting how?”

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” Satoru replies, flashing a mischievous grin.

Suguru shakes his head, but there’s a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Just don’t embarrass us. Or yourself.”

“No promises,” Satoru says, already imagining the chaos he could stir up.

“She did say something, though.” Suguru adds on. When Satoru hums back in response, looking back down at his phone, he continues. “She said under no condition are you to flirt with her friends. She wants everyone to have fun, not stop you from making pass after pass.”

Satoru snorts, barely looking up from his phone. “Shoko said that? That’s rich, coming from someone who thinks ‘fun’ is chain-smoking on the balcony and pretending she’s in a noir film.”

Suguru rolls his eyes, taking another sip of his coffee. “Don’t deflect. She’s serious. She doesn’t want you turning her friends into your next dating pool.”

“I don’t date, Suguru,” Satoru replies with a hint of bite, finally glancing up. “I simply... entertain.”

“Exactly her point,” Suguru mutters, crossing his arms. “She knows how you are, and she doesn’t want her friends stuck in your web of ‘entertainment.’”

Satoru leans forward, resting his chin on his hand, his grin widening. “She’s scared they’ll fall for my charm, huh?”

“No,” Suguru says flatly. “She’s scared you’ll get bored, and she’ll have to deal with the aftermath.”

Satoru feigns a hurt expression, placing a hand over his chest. “Wow. No faith in me at all. I’m deeply wounded.”

Suguru glares at him, unimpressed. “Just… promise you’ll behave. For once.”

Satoru waves him off with a lazy grin. “Fine, fine. I’ll be good. But you know, if someone approaches me, that’s not really on me, is it?”

Suguru groans, shaking his head. “You’re impossible.”

“And you love me for it,” Satoru says, flashing him a wink before returning to his phone.

“Starting to regret it.” Suguru mumbles under his breath, lip downturning into a frown. He analyzes the white haired man across from him for a silent moment. Watching his smile and small chuckle at something stupid on his phone. He can only hope Satoru will keep his word, truly. Suguru sighs, rubbing his temple as he leans back in his seat. "You know, Satoru, sometimes I wonder if you take anything seriously."

Satoru looks up from his phone, his grin unwavering. "Of course I do! I take having fun very seriously. It’s a full-time job, you know."

Suguru just shakes his head, huffing through his nose. "You’re exhausting."

"And yet," Satoru starts, pointing a finger at him, "you keep inviting me out. Makes you wonder who’s really at fault here, huh?"

Suguru’s frown deepens, but the faintest twitch of his lips betrays him. "I keep hoping one day you’ll surprise me. That you’ll actually act like an adult for more than five minutes."

"Hey," Satoru says, feigning offense. "I can be an adult when it matters. Just because I choose not to all the time doesn’t mean I don’t know how."

Suguru gives him a long, scrutinizing look. "Saturday night. That’s your chance to prove it. Shoko’s giving you one rule. Can you handle that?"

Satoru leans back, tossing his phone onto the table with a dramatic sigh. "Alright, alright. I promise, no flirting with her friends. Cross my heart, hope to die." He even makes a little "X" motion over his chest for emphasis.

"I’m holding you to that," Suguru says, though there’s still skepticism in his tone.

Satoru flashes his trademark smile, full of mischief. "Relax, Suguru. I’ll be the picture of self-control. You won’t even recognize me."

Suguru utters under his breath, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

You’ve been debating Shoko’s offer since she told you about it. That was on a Monday. It’s now Friday evening, having just come back from work. The light above displaying its warmth highlights your figure sitting at the lone kitchen table. Well, not exactly lone.

While you’re munching on a platter of rice and fish, your cat is doing the same across from you. Obviously not rice and fish, but her own cat food.

Your calico cat, aptly named Cinnamon, is a picture of elegance wrapped in mischief. Her predominantly white coat is a clean canvas, dotted with splashes of fiery orange and sleek black, creating a tapestry that seems almost deliberate in its beauty. Her left ear is entirely black, contrasting with the orange streak that runs like a comet across her back.

Her sharp green eyes glimmer with curiosity, a mix of jade and lime hues that shift in the warm kitchen light. They’re always watching—whether it’s the flick of your fork, the twitch of your fingers, or the way you lean into your chair, Cinnamon observes it all with the wisdom of a feline who believes she’s the queen of her small domain.

Her paws, delicate and white, tread lightly across the linoleum floor, though they’ve certainly caused their share of chaos when batting pens or half-full glasses off the table. She has a fluffy tail that curves like a question mark, often brushing against your legs as if to say, Don’t forget I’m here.

Despite her mischievous streak, Cinnamon’s coat is always soft to the touch, her fur holding warmth like a freshly baked loaf of bread. And whenever you reach out to pet her, she leans into your hand, her purring a gentle hum that makes the loneliness in your little apartment feel less heavy.

She’s only two years old, having rescued her off the street after a particularly snowy day. She was so small in your hands it was adorable. After her first visit to the vet, you discovered she had been born deaf.

Along with Shoko, Cinnamon had become your anchor after moving to the big city all alone. She was a reminder that you’re not really alone. And while you wish she was granted the right to hear your soft coos and praises, your touch is something that means just as much.

After observing her movements, you look back down at your food. It would be nice to go. Maybe you can make some new friends, get out of your shell for once. You’re 29, but mentally you still feel like you’re in your early twenties. You never really experienced the fun people do at that age. Partying, clubbing, one night stands, waking up on a random person’s couch.

Although sometimes you’re glad you didn’t, the thought still pokes and prods at your subconscious from time to time. Including now. You seriously can’t keep living like this. Seriously, people your age are married and having families. For example, your brother.

You can’t say you hate clubs if you’ve never even gone. You can’t say you hate meeting new people if you rarely even do that. It’s just your own set of insecurities and self doubts that keep you chained to the dungeon of your own mind.

You wonder, sometimes, if it’s easier to stay locked in that safe space of isolation. No one to disappoint, no expectations to meet. It’s so much quieter in your head when you're alone. No judgments, no glances, no questions that you can’t answer.

But then, there’s always that nagging thought, that whisper in the back of your mind. What if you’re missing out on something better? What if there’s more than just the silence you’ve grown comfortable with?

Don’t you deserve some redemption? Not every person on this Earth is a horrible human being.

It’s a familiar battle—the pull between the comfort of solitude and the yearning for something beyond the walls you’ve built. You’ve never been the outgoing type, never the one to seek attention or jump into the spotlight. Yet, part of you wonders if you could change that. If you could be someone who takes risks, someone who shows up for the moments that matter instead of hiding from them.

Shoko. Speakeasy. She’s been inviting you out for months now, but this time feels different. Maybe it’s the way she worded it, or the way she’s been extra persistent, almost as if she can sense that something in you is on the verge of breaking out. But even now, you hesitate. The voices in your head, the ones that keep you quiet and safe, they whisper louder. What if you’re out of place? What if you don’t belong there?

You tap your foot nervously, staring at the plate of food. You’ve been meaning to take that step outside your comfort zone...and yet, there’s still that part of you holding you back, like a tug of war between the unknown and the familiar.

Maybe Saturday is the night you finally take that first step. Or maybe it’ll be another moment of hesitation, another night spent wondering what could have been.

But it’s up to you to make that decision. And the more you sit here and hesitate, think of the what ifs, the harder the decision is becoming. So, with a burst of courage, you rip the bandaid off. No going back.

Your fingers work quickly at your phone screen, typing out:

You:

What time Saturday?

The minutes that pass are spent with you tapping a palm against your cheek, lightly reprimanding yourself. Why did I do that? Now I have to go! The second you get a text back, you’re not sure if it’s dread, anxiety, or a hint of excitement.

Same thing.

Ieiri:

9pm, see you there :)

The night buzzed with an electric hum as Satoru pulled his jacket tighter around himself, stepping out of the sleek black car that parked a few feet away from the club’s entrance. Speakeasy was alive tonight, its neon sign casting a soft glow onto the crowd gathered outside, the faint bass of the music vibrating through the pavement.

He adjusted the collar of his jacket, tossing a quick glance at the line of people waiting to get in. It wasn’t a particularly cold night, but the energy in the air was sharp—anticipatory. Nights like this were his playground, and Satoru never missed an opportunity to enjoy himself. Suguru had texted him earlier to remind him—no, warn him—not to mess around. Shoko’s words were practically seared into his memory by now: No flirting with her friends.

It wasn’t like he couldn’t behave. He just didn’t see the fun in restraint. Still, tonight was about more than just him. He figured he’d at least try to make an effort—for Suguru’s and Shoko’s sake, if nothing else.

Sliding his sunglasses up into his hair, he smirked at the bouncer, who gave him a nod of recognition. Being Satoru Gojo had its perks. He breezed past the line, feeling the envious stares of the waiting crowd. The heavy door opened, and he was hit with a wave of heat, the thrum of music, and the low chatter of voices layered over it all. Inside, the club was alive—dim lights reflecting off polished surfaces, laughter and conversation mingling with the music, and the faint smell of alcohol lingering in the air. He scanned the room, his sharp blue eyes catching on familiar figures near the bar. The DJ was currently playing—what he assumed—early 2000s American music. Not his exact favorite but hey, he actually loves Usher.

The second floor is where Suguru said everyone would be. Making his way up the stairs, he sees that Suguru is already there, leaning casually against the counter with a drink in hand. Shoko sat next to him, her head tilted as she laughed at something he’d said. She noticed him first, her gaze locking onto his before she gave a small, knowing wave.

Satoru sauntered over, seeing the other people Shoko invited, mainly women. his usual swagger in his step, his grin firmly in place. “You miss me?” he asked, sliding into the seat next to Suguru.

“Like a hole in the head,” Shoko deadpanned, but there was a faint smile tugging at her lips.

Suguru shook his head, handing Satoru a drink. “You’re late. Again.”

“Fashionably,” Satoru corrected, taking the glass and raising it in mock salute. He leaned back in his seat, letting his gaze drift across the upstairs area. Seemed Shoko went all out, securing a VIP section. It was the same as always—music, drinks, strangers exchanging fleeting glances. Yet, there was a flicker of something different tonight, something he couldn’t quite place.

“So,” he started, swirling the drink in his hand as he turned back to his friends. “Where’s the party?”

Shoko rolled her eyes, her tone dry as she replied, “The party’s right here, Satoru. Try not to ruin it.”

He laughed, leaning forward, his grin widening. “Oh, come on. When have I ever ruined anything?”

Suguru and Shoko exchanged a look, and Satoru rolled his eyes. Tonight was shaping up to be interesting, even if he had to behave. Or at least pretend to.

“Shoko!” One of her friends, visibly drunk, rushes up to her. “The girls and I are doing shots, c’mon!” With a giggle, Shoko is promptly dragged away to the side, a circle of women forming as they ready themselves for the shots they’re about to force down.

After mindlessly sipping, he finishes his drink. Standing up with a small grunt, looking around like he’s scoping the place. “I’ll be back.”

“Satoru.” Suguru replies in that knowing tone of his.

“Relax,” Satoru laughs, nudging his friend’s foot. “I’m behaving. You said I couldn’t flirt with her friends, but they’re not the only eye candy up here.”

Suguru sighs, already regretting his decision to let Satoru tag along. “Just don’t start anything stupid,” he mutters, leaning back against the bar as he watches his friend disappear into the crowd.

Satoru navigates through the sea of people with ease, his height giving him an advantage as he scans the room. The music thrums in his chest, the bass almost matching the rhythm of his pulse. He doesn’t have a plan—not that he ever does—but there’s always something, or someone, that catches his eye.

He moves toward the edge of the dance floor, his gaze flitting between the moving bodies, the glowing bar signs, and the scattered tables filled with groups of friends or couples sharing drinks. It’s not that he’s particularly looking for anything tonight—he just enjoys the thrill of seeing what, or who, might cross his path. As he leans casually against a nearby column, his attention is drawn to a table in the corner. A group of women sits there, laughing and talking over cocktails.

Bingo.

“Hi there,” Satoru approaches the woman on the side, leaning in slightly like he’s trying to make sure she hears him over the music. “You’re very beautiful, are you here all alone?”

The woman startles slightly, her eyes widening as she looks up at him. For a moment, it seems like she’s unsure if he’s even talking to her, her gaze flicking to the nearby group of women. But when she realizes he’s fully focused on her, her cheeks flush a faint pink. “Oh, um,” she stammers, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “No, I’m with my friends.” She gestures vaguely toward the table, where the other women are chatting animatedly, seemingly unaware of the exchange.

Satoru grins, “I can tell that much, but I mean are you here with a guy?” He asks, shifting his weight casually as he leans an elbow on the back of her chair.

She lets out a nervous laugh, clearly flustered but not entirely uncomfortable. “I—uh—no, no. Do I know you?”

He tilts his head, his grin widening as if her question is a challenge. “Not yet. But I think we can fix that.”

It’s smooth, calculated—the kind of line Satoru’s used to throwing out without much thought. He doesn’t expect every woman to fall for it, but he knows how to work a room, how to read someone’s body language and play his cards just right.

Suguru’s voice lingers in his head, a faint reprimand. Don’t flirt with her friends. But this woman isn’t part of Shoko’s circle, and besides, Satoru never said he’d stop being himself. “So,” he continues, his voice low and teasing, “are you going to tell me your name, or am I going to have to keep calling you ‘the prettiest girl in the room’ all night?”

The woman lets out a soft, breathy laugh, the kind that tells Satoru she’s not used to this kind of attention—or at least not from someone as bold as him. She glances down at her drink, swirling the contents nervously before finally looking back up at him. “It’s Mayumi,” she says, her voice light and uncertain, as if she’s still deciding whether or not she should be engaging with him.

“Mayumi,” Satoru repeats, tasting her name like it’s something rare and exotic. “Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He leans in slightly, his tone dropping just enough to feel intimate without crossing a line. “So, Mayumi, what brings you here tonight? Celebrating something? Or are you just here to escape the world for a little while?”

Her lips curve into a shy smile, her fingers brushing the edge of her glass. “My friends dragged me out,” she admits. “They thought I needed to… loosen up, I guess.”

“And do you?” he asks, one brow quirking as his grin turns playful.

“Do I what?”

“Need to loosen up.” His voice is teasing, his gaze unwavering as if he’s trying to read every flicker of emotion on her face.

Mayumi looks away, her smile fading into something more subdued. “Maybe,” she murmurs, her tone quieter now. “It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this.”

Satoru straightens slightly, his grin softening into something that almost looks genuine. “Well, then,” he says, extending a hand toward her. “How about we change that? Dance with me.”

She stares at his hand like it’s a foreign object, her expression a mix of hesitation and intrigue. “I—I don’t know,” she stammers. “I’m not really a good dancer.”

“Lucky for you,” Satoru says, winking, “neither am I.”

He wiggles his fingers invitingly, his confidence infectious enough to make her laugh again. After a moment’s hesitation, she places her hand in his, letting him gently pull her to her feet.

“See?” he says, leading her toward the edge of the dance floor. “You’re already loosening up.”

She shakes her head, but the smile on her face tells him she’s starting to enjoy herself. As they step into the sea of moving bodies, Satoru glances over his shoulder, his eyes catching Suguru’s across the room. His friend’s expression is a mix of exasperation and amusement, shaking his head as if to say, Of course you couldn’t resist.

Satoru smirks, mouthing, I’m behaving, before turning his attention back to Mayumi, the night stretching ahead with endless possibilities.

This continues on for at least two more hours. Mayumi is sweet and all, but so are her friends Raya, and Mina, and Sera. He’s a little more tipsy than he’d like to be, but he’s not driving tonight. Besides, he’s a lightweight, he should’ve been more calculating on his drink count. Oh well, not like he has work tomorrow. Just some grading and emails from students trying to raise their grade and kissing his ass.

He laughs about it, even with his arm around Ai, his half empty drink in the other. Bright eyes glazed over, cheeks undoubtedly red, and a lazy smile permanently etched on his face. However, his nose twitches subtly, when a sudden scent invades his nostrils. Satoru remembers being praised by his teachers and schoolmates for his outstanding senses that it was almost scary sometimes.

The little thing, he hears. The smallest item, he sees. And the faint scent, he smells.

It’s weak at first, weaving through the layered smells of perfume, alcohol, and sweat. But it’s distinct—a soft, clean scent, almost like fresh linen mixed with something sweet and floral. But it also smells like marshmallows, like a cozy night in front of the fire. His nose twitches again, and his lazy smile falters for just a moment.

The scent is out of place here, where everything feels loud and brash. It’s quiet and grounding, tugging at something deep in his hazy, alcohol-soaked brain. He tilts his head slightly, scanning the room without meaning to, his arm still loosely draped around Ai’s shoulders.

“Satoru?” Ai’s voice pulls him back, light and teasing. She tilts her head to catch his eye, her glossy lips curving into a playful pout. “You still with me?”

“Hmm?” He blinks, looking down at her with an easy grin that feels more automatic than usual. “Of course I am. Where else would I be?”

“Hard to tell sometimes.” She giggles, poking his chest lightly, but he’s already tuning her out.

The scent lingers, wrapping itself around him like a thread pulling taut. It shouldn’t matter. It’s probably just some random person passing by, someone’s perfume or shampoo. But something about it makes his chest tighten, a strange warmth blooming there that he can’t quite place.

Without even realizing it, he’s scanning the room again, his gaze sharper now, cutting through the dim lighting and flashing neon.

“What are you looking for?” Ai asks, her voice tinged with curiosity, but he doesn’t answer.

Because suddenly, he sees her.

You’re standing near the bar, posture reserved, and gaze focused on something—or maybe nothing—in the distance. You’re not really dressed to stand out, outfit simple and understated compared to the glittering ensembles of the crowd. But it’s her, and for some reason, he knows you’re the source of that scent.

Satoru’s grip on his drink tightens, his fingers flexing around the glass as he watches you. You don't look like she belongs here, not in the way others do. It’s like you’re not trying to be seen, not angling for attention. And yet, somehow, you’re all he can see. All he can smell. He’s biting on his lip now.

Ai’s voice snaps him back again, sharper this time. “Satoru, are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says dismissively, finally pulling his arm away from her and setting his drink down on a nearby table.

“Where are you going?” she calls after him, but he doesn’t answer.

His feet are already moving, carrying him toward the bar, toward you. The closer he gets, the stronger your sweet and addictive fragrance gets. And Satoru craves sweet things. He’s inhaling and inhaling, like he’s trying to get every trace of it lodged in his nose, in his being. With one final, strong whiff, he leans against the bar next to you. Subtly and smoothly.

You still haven’t noticed him. With a peer down at your drink, its dark fizziness tells him you’re not a drinker.

Play it cool, play it cool. But it’s hard to do that when he wants to shove his face in your hair.

“Not much of a drinker, huh?” Satoru says, his voice smooth and casual, just loud enough to cut through the music.

You glance up, startled at first, then wary. Your eyes meet his—blue, bright, and annoyingly self-assured. He leans on the bar like he owns it, a boyish simper on his face as if he’s done this a thousand times before.

You don’t answer, not right away. Instead, you turn back to your drink, fingers lightly tapping the glass.

Satoru doesn’t let the silence faze him. He tilts his head, studying you with an almost curious expression. “Let me guess,” he continues, undeterred. “It’s root beer. Or maybe cola? You seem like the cola type.”

There’s the faintest twitch at the corner of your lips, but you quickly press them into a thin line. He catches it anyway, filing it away as a small victory. “Ah, not a talker, huh?” he presses, his tone light and teasing. “That’s okay. I’m great at one-sided conversations. People say I have a gift for it. I have a lot of them actually.”

You take a slow sip of your drink, clearly trying to ignore him, but he doesn’t move. He leans in just slightly, not enough to invade your space, but enough to make his presence impossible to ignore.

“Come on,” he says after a moment, his grin softening into something almost genuine. “What’s a quiet little thing like you doing in a place like this?”

This time, you turn to him, your eyes narrowing slightly. The question lingers in the air, and for a brief moment, it seems like you might answer.

But instead, you just shrug.

Satoru blinks, caught off guard by your lack of response. Then he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Wow. Tough crowd.”

You glance at him again, and he swears there’s a hint of twinkle in your gaze before you look away.

And just like that, he’s hooked.

“There you are, I thought you ditched me.” A familiar voice suddenly appears, Shoko walking up to your other side and putting her arm around your shoulder. When she spots Satoru next to you, a small frown forms. Pulling you closer to her side slightly. “Are you bothering her?”

He huffs. “Pfft, what? No, I’m making conversation.”

Shoko raises a skeptical brow, her arm tightening around your shoulder as if shielding you from him. “Right. Making conversation,” she echoes, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

You glance between the two, feeling the tension shift in the air. It’s not hostile, but it’s clear Shoko isn’t thrilled with his presence. Satoru smirks, clearly unfazed. He leans casually against the bar, tilting his head in that annoyingly confident way of his. “Relax, Shoko. I’m not here to scare off your friend. I’m just being friendly.”

“Friendly?” she repeats, her frown deepening. “Your version of ‘friendly’ usually ends with someone giving you their number or regretting their life choices.”

He puts a hand to his chest, feigning offense. “Ouch. You wound me.”

Shoko rolls her eyes, her fingers lightly drumming against your shoulder as she looks at you. “You okay?” she asks, her voice softer now, her concern evident.

You nod, offering a small smile, though your hands instinctively grip your drink a little tighter.

“See? She’s fine,” Satoru cuts in, flashing Shoko a triumphant grin. “I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Yet,” Shoko mutters under her breath before pulling you gently away from the bar. “Come on, Y/N. Let’s find a quieter spot.”

Satoru doesn’t try to stop you, but his eyes follow you as Shoko leads you across the room. His smirk lingers, but there’s a flicker of something else behind it—curiosity, maybe even intrigue.

“Friend of yours?” he calls after Shoko, loud enough for you to hear.

She doesn’t look back, but her reply is sharp and to the point. “Off limits, Satoru.”

For the first time that night, his grin falters slightly. Off limits, huh?

Now, he’s really intrigued.

Throughout the time left, he’s busying himself with chatting up other people, even giving a small kiss to this one named Yua (he thinks that’s her name). He’s on his last drink of the night, feeling more breezy by the second. But even as his attempts at having a good rest of his night aren’t exactly failing him, he can’t stop himself from sending glance after glance to the direction Shoko whisked you away to.

You’re with her other friends that are still here, though standing against the wall in an awkward position that makes him laugh to himself.

Shoko’s trying to include you, but it’s not that easy.

The way you stand there, clearly out of your element, is oddly endearing. It’s a stark contrast to the bustling energy of the club and the people surrounding you. Shoko’s doing her best, gesturing animatedly as she talks, trying to pull you into the conversation with her friends. He can tell she’s trying to make you feel included, but it’s not really working. You offer a polite nod or a faint smile every now and then, but your body language screams discomfort.

Another sip. Another glance.

What is it about you that keeps pulling his attention? He’s met plenty of people tonight, charmed them, entertained them, even kissed one. Yet here he is, more drawn to the quiet person hiding against the wall than the vibrant partygoers vying for his attention.

“Earth to Satoru.” Yua’s voice cuts through his thoughts, her hand waving in front of his face.

“Hm?” He turns to her, blinking as if snapping out of a trance.

“You okay? You’ve been zoning out,” she teases, leaning a little closer.

He offers a crooked grin, shrugging. “Yeah, just thinking about how long I’ve been here. Probably time to head out soon.”

Yua pouts but doesn’t press further. “Can I com—“

He downs the rest of his drink, setting the empty glass on the bar before pushing off it. His gaze drifts toward you one last time, watching as you glance down at your drink, clearly counting the seconds until you can leave.

Off limits. Shoko’s words echo in his mind again, but the mischievous glint in his eyes says otherwise. “See you around,” he tosses to Yua as he starts to walk away, the pull toward you stronger than the haze of alcohol in his system.

And you can feel him approach, trying your hardest not to look over because if you don’t, then maybe he won’t actually do it. However, you’re proven wrong. Your lips threaten to downturn into a displeased frown at his persistence. Can’t he take a hint?

Shoko’s too busy taking another shot, because if she wasn’t, no doubt she’d be shooing him away again like he’s a stray dog staring at a piece of meat.

In a sense, he is.

“You like dancing?” He asks, having to lean in closer to your ear in order to be audible over the pounding bass of the throwback music. An opening, you think to yourself. If you say yes, he’ll ask you to dance with him. If you say no, he’ll still probably try to dance with you.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Instinctively, you step a half foot back, awkwardly holding your glass of coke in your hands. The drink feels stabilizing in this environment, giving you something to do with your hands. When you see the grin on his face, it almost makes you want to call back for Shoko like she’ll save you. You shake your head and look back down at the black fizzles.

His head tilts, eyebrow raising up slightly. “You wanna learn?”

Again, you give your head a small shake.

His lips purse into a confused, almost disappointed frown before he dramatically sighs. Leaning up against the wall beside you. You can feel the way he—either accidentally or purposefully—brushes his hand along your arm. Once more, you put a hint of distance between you two.

It feels so awkward, so unbelievably awkward. You’ve seen him converse with practically everyone up here, but why is he so stuck on you? You’re not even reciprocating anything, but he hasn’t left you yet. In your mind, you’re counting down the minutes till when it’s socially acceptable to go back home. In his mind, he’s trying to piece you together. From the looks of it, you’re like a puzzle.

And he’s always loved puzzles.

Finally, he sighs. “Hey,” he murmurs, voice low but clear, enough to cut through the noise of the club. “You know, you’re not fooling anyone, right?”

You glance up at him, confusion clouding your features. He doesn’t give you time to respond. “You keep looking for an exit,” he continues, his tone not mocking, but almost thoughtful. “It’s written all over your face. You came to hang out, but now you’re just trying to get through the night without standing out too much.”

You blink, slightly taken aback, suddenly feeling the need to protect yourself. “I’m not—”

He cuts you off with a raised hand. “It’s fine. Everyone does it, really. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to know more.” You open your mouth to protest, to dismiss him, but before you can get the words out, he adds with a tilt of his head, “Or maybe you’re just scared of the spotlight?”

The word scared sticks in your mind, gnawing at your thoughts. You’re not scared—are you? Sure, you don’t like being the center of attention, but that’s different. Isn’t it?

Satoru watches the subtle shift in your expression, the way your gaze darts away from his and then back to your drink, and he knows he’s got you. You’re curious, even if you won’t admit it. “Just one dance,” he adds suddenly, his voice teasing but not pushy. “You don’t have to say yes if you really don’t want to. But you’re missing out.” The chuckle that follows leaves you even more curious. He’s teasing, of course. But maybe there’s some truth held to his words.

He’s waiting now, watching you, his grin growing wider at the faintest flicker of uncertainty in your eyes. You’re not the easy pick, and that’s exactly what’s drawing him in.

However, you’re saved by the bell. Almost literally.

“Alright everyone, Speakeasy is beginning its closing! Please head out of the nearest exit! Thank you and we’re open again tomorrow, same time!”

The voice of either the manager, DJ, whoever runs the club emits from all the speakers. You breathe a small sigh of relief, drinking the rest of your coke and placing the glass on the table. Satoru’s hand reaches out, as if contemplating touching your shoulder, but you’re already alerting Shoko of your departure.

“I’m so glad you came, did you have fun?” Shoko asks, drunkenly smiling and hugging you. When Satoru hears your lowered chuckle, a weird punch-like force is delivered to his gut.

“Mhm, thank you for inviting me.”

“You know you’re always welcome.” She pulls back, examining your face. “Driving back?”

You nod in response.

“Okay, be safe. Text me when you get back home.”

“You too.”

Her smile turns more genuine, planting a platonic kiss to your cheek before letting you go. You zip your jacket up, adjusting your purse strap on your shoulder and head to the stairs.

“Hey.”

God damn it. You hesitate for a moment whether to keep walking or answer him, but you’re too kind-hearted for blatant ignorance. So, you look over your shoulder to see the white haired man that’s been pretty much bugging you this entire night. He steps closer, hands shoved in his pockets. “Before you go, I’m Satoru.”

And now he’s introducing himself to you. You feel even more wary. You don’t want him to think this means anything, but you came out for a reason. To attempt to break from your hardened shell. Besides, it’s just your name. “Y/N.”

The corner of his lip tilts up, revealing a small dimple on his cheek. The sight makes you warm. “I like that.”

Satoru studies you for a moment, his eyes playful but softened, a sharp contrast to the usual teasing energy that surrounded him. You can’t help but notice the way he looks at you—like he’s trying to read every part of you. But the warmth that spreads through your chest at his compliment is undeniable. You didn’t expect it. Most people would’ve just moved on by now, given how you’ve been brushing him off. “Y/N,” he repeats, his voice low and almost contemplative. “Nice name. Fits you.”

You can feel the slight tension in the air, that quiet moment between you two, and despite your better judgment, something about him is… disarming. His presence, the easy confidence he exudes, is like a soft pull on your composure. It makes you hesitate longer than you should. After internal debate, you nod briefly and continue walking back to the stairs. Again, his voice calls out to you. “By the way, I love the way you smell.”

Your steps falter, face contorting into confusion. What an odd compliment for someone you don’t know. Without turning around, you tell him, “Thank you.” Hurrying your steps so he doesn’t try to stop you again and with that, you’re out of his sight.

Even though you only muttered a few sentences to him, Satoru feels a strange sense of curiosity. Curiosity mingled with determination. He smiles to himself, drinking the last bits of his drink before heading off too. A thought reverberates throughout his mind like a drum, even when Suguru is patting his shoulder goodbye.

He wonders how long it’ll take to get a girl like you in his bed.

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The very moment you set eyes on Satoru Gojo, you knew he was trouble.

It was a brisk autumn day, shades of brown and orange blanketing the streets and casting a warm, cozy mood over the city. Your little book store was in its element, acutely so. The vintage wood and gold accents strewn throughout the shop reflected the dim light seeping in through the windows, surrounding you in a soft glow.

You were immersed in the newest stock of books, placing each one on the shelf with delicate precision when you heard a bell chime. The dainty little bell at the entrance made only a small noise, but one you’d learned to recognize in your months working here. Stepping down from the stool you’d been balancing on, your foot had barely touched the ground when a whiny voice broke through the silence.

“Suguru,” he drawled, all too pitiful for the time and place. “Can’t you come back later? You keep dragging me into these boring places, I just wanna get mochi,” he groaned. That was when you rounded the corner, entering the line of sight of the two men who had just arrived. One of them was a tall, white haired individual whose face was pulled up in what seemed to be dramatic irritation; the other, ravenette man looking all too fed up at his side. You assumed that the former had been the one complaining, considering the stark contrast in how comfortable the other looked compared to him. Suguru, that was his name. At least, that was what the man-child had said (or rather: howled). Suguru was somewhat a regular here, though you hadn’t caught his name until then. You didn’t recognize his companion. Something about him felt familiar, but you couldn’t put your finger on exactly what that was.

It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that your first impression wasn’t positive. Your thoughts of him changed, but not so much for the better, upon meeting his eye. Something in him seemed to shift then. His eyes lit up as they did a once over on you, posture straightening and a crooked grin tugging at his lips.

“Hush, Satoru. You dragged me into like, four different dessert stores today. You’ll survive five minutes of being surrounded by literature,” the other boy, Suguru, grumbled. Satoru Gojo?.. Oh, you got it now. They went to school with you, that’s why they seemed familiar before. You hadn’t recognized them at first glance because while you were only in your first year of university, they’d been in their second. But you knew that name, everyone did. He was rather known around campus, though not for bad reasons, not exactly ones you’d consider great either. You knew little of the blue eyed man, only a few (three, to be exact) traits burrowing into the depths of your mind. 1. Prodigy 2. Charming (disgusting so) 3. Cocky asshole.

So when he was silent for a beat too long, eyes only flickering back to his friend when he turned to him, you knew he was trouble.

That sly smile still residing on his lips, he nodded at Suguru. “Well…” he said. “I guess I’ll let it slide for now.”

Geto glanced at him, then to you, unimpressed. With a small nod, a polite greeting to you, he rolled his eyes. As he grabbed Gojo by the material of his expensive looking jacket, he grumbled.

“Just look at the damn books.”

Situating yourself behind the cash register, you let out a sigh. It was only you on the shift at the moment, your tiny little establishment usually lacking the amount of customers to require more. You tried to make yourself look less bored than you were, mindlessly tapping your fingers against the leather cover of a novel sitting near the cash register. Courtesy of your boss, going on your phone whilst customers were around was strictly forbidden. You were sure that the college kids were too exhausted to care, nor would they anyway, but rules were rules. You could keep yourself busy, the little voice in your head was enough.

You’d only barely begun to let your mind wander when the soft clunk of elbows meeting the structure you leaned on met your ears. You looked up to see Satoru Gojo staring down at you, winter blue eyes sparkling with a determined curiosity.

“Hey there,” he said, snowy hair shifting as he tilted his head. He was leaned forward lazily, as if preparing for a conversation that was yet to happen. You quirked a brow, feeling the effortless charisma roll off of him in waves. You didn’t allow yourself to be tricked, though, you refused to be like the rest of his little fans fawning and kissing his shoes. Five minutes in and you’d already decided you disliked him, and all he’d said was a greeting. You tried not to judge a book by its cover, but inside you was a need to stick out that overran the compassion.

Your reply was short, a simple “Hi,” all that you felt was necessary. It wasn’t like you really knew the guy at all, you owed him nothing but the service given to every customer that had ever stepped into your humble little shop.

His grin seemed to falter for a split second, b it was quickly plastered back onto that face of his. How long had he been smirking like that? It seemed more habit than amusement at this point.

“Do I know you?” he asked.

You let out a hum under your breath, shrugging. “I don’t think so. Do you?”

His eyes narrowed, and for a moment, you were sure he could see right through you. Every bone in your body felt all too exposed to his prying eyes, every concealed bit of you shining through the cracks. But then he smiled, and everything else washed away. “You’re in uni, aren’t you?”

In return to your soft, approving nod, he clicked his tongue as if proud of himself. “Ah, that’s where. I knew I wouldn’t forget a face like yours.”

You were about to ask him to elaborate when a deeper, more annoyed voice cut through. “I leave you alone for five seconds and you’re already trying to charm the employee?” He rolled his eyes, looking between you and Satoru with a quirked brow. Gojo stood up a little straighter, a dorky, sideways grin adorning his face.

“Little ol’ me? Never.”

Amusement hinted at Geto’s face, but he was good at hiding it. He took up the empty space between Gojo and the counter, placing two books down before you. As you gently picked them up and scanned, the soft red glow accompanied by a soft beep echoing through the room, he watched.

“Nice to see you. How’ve you been?” you asked the black haired man standing across the counter, eyes kept on your nimble hands as they bagged up the paperbacks he’d been purchasing. He responded with a polite smile and a nod, radiating an air of nonchalance, far in contrast to the radiant man beside him.

“Likewise. I’ve been well, you?”

You opened your mouth to speak but were swiftly interrupted, Gojo’s mouth agape as he spoke. “Hold on hold on,” he said, picking his jaw off of the floor. Dramatic much? “You didn’t tell me you knew the cashier.”

“Maybe because you whine every time I even utter the word ‘book’,” Suguru rolled his eyes.

“I am the most intellectual person to ever roam the earth, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Watching them go back and forth, you had to suppress a laugh. They argued in a way that radiated ‘I’ve been dealing with him for years too many’, or something of the sort. You chose to ignore Satoru’s dramatic yearning for your attention, handing Suguru his books and bidding them farewell.

Freedom.

Or… for the next two days, at least.

The bell over the door chimed, quick and soft above the door. It only took a quick glance, a split second for you to recognize who exactly that was. His porcelain hair stuck out against the rustic wood bookshelves like a sore thumb, his bright eyes already shining the moment they met yours.

“Fancy seeing you here,” he grinned.

“…I work here?”

He rolled his eyes, brushing off your dismissal of his attempt at being sly. He took the few short strides from the door to the checkout, and the two of you found yourself exactly where you’d been a few days prior. Except this time there was no Suguru to interrupt (aka save you), and he was all the more annoying.

You let out a breath, already anticipating his behaviour. “I don’t take you for much of a reader.” He shrugged in response, a dorky, grossly pretty grin crossing his face.

“Paying that much attention to me?”

“Your whining is pretty hard to ignore.”

“Ouch,” he placed a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. His brows furrowed, a crease deepening between them. If you didn’t know exactly what type of man he was, you might’ve genuinely thought he looked like a kicked puppy. He strode over to you, his long legs stretching over the distance with ease. He was tall, very. Not that it mattered. You didn’t care. You didn’t even bother to notice his long limbs, the way his biceps flexed beneath his long sleeve as he reached down, grabbing a book sitting between you. It wasn’t like your eyes lingered for a moment too long, it wasn’t like you suddenly felt oddly uncomfortable being so close to him. The counter separated you, but it did little to keep the distance. The small width of it was to thank for that, you made a mental note to get a stool or something—anything that was a rightful excuse to scoot away.

He placed the novel down. “So, what’s your name?” he asked. He radiated confidence, like he didn’t mind pushing into your space. The only indication that he knew if your disinterest was the way his eyes flickered over your face, all too observant to miss the way it contorted.

“You gonna buy something?” you moved past his question, making a point to glance down at the disregarded item, now placed gently upon a stack of a few others.

He sniggered. “Yeah, but tell me your name.” He didn’t break eye contact with you as he slid it over the counter, the cover making a rough noise with the friction of the wood.

You gave no response, the only noise in the place being the scanning of his book (which you were sure he hadn’t even read the title of) and the dull sound of the constant chatter along the streets. It seeped in through the cracked windows, like a buzzing hive of bees.

“1700 yen,” you said. Your voice held a sort of boredom, but you didn’t care to actually be rude. You just weren’t going to be pinky pie from my little pony whenever you saw the man, and he surely couldn’t blame you for that.

That stupid damn grin never faltered under the weight of your gaze. He tapped his card against the machine like it was second nature, took the bag from you smoothly, hand brushing against yours. “I’ll be back,” he said. And he fully intended to keep that promise.

⋆

“No name, long time no see!”

You suppressed a groan, the all too energetic voice cutting through the quiet of the store like a knife. By the first word, you’d have known who it was. This guy never gave up, did he? And for the record, it had not been a long time since you last saw him. A day and a half, 34 hours to be exact. Though it wasn’t like you were counting or anything, in fact, you dreaded the moment he’d walk through those doors.

He made it his mission to visit you daily. Every day he’d buy a book you were certain would do nothing but collect dust on his shelf, seemingly never going over his budget. That only pissed you off further. How much money did he have to blow it all just to see you? You hated how endearing it was. You hated him.

“‘Afternoon, Gojo,” you sighed, emerging from the depths of the shelves and into the light. It was a sunny day, at least, compared to the rest of the dull winter grey that had found home in the heart of Tokyo.

“You know, I’m starting to get the impression that you don’t like me,” he said.

You attempted to look surprised, though the both of you knew very well that you weren’t. “Wow, what would ever make you think that?”

“You won’t even tell me your name? Am I really that bad?” he huffed, tossing his head back in an exaggerated show of frustration.

“You want the honest answer?”

“Hush.”

He straightened his neck, now craning it slightly down to gaze at you. He was a little ways away, but he might as well have been one with you with the way his eyes bored into you. It was intense in an anticipating way, if that made sense.

“Go out with me.”

You blinked, a little dumbfounded for a moment before gathering the bits and pieces of your brain that had just been scattered across the country. Be logical. Obviously he was kidding, obviously he didn’t mean it. I mean, he barely knew you. He didn’t even know your name, and it was your coldness to thank for that. Surely he wouldn’t want you, not genuinely at least. “You’re ridiculous,” you rolled your eyes.

“Aw, come on!” he whined, and you could’ve sworn you saw a hint of real disappointment behind those cerulean orbs of his.

You suppressed a grin. Maybe his pestering had some perks, maybe it was even entertaining. That wasn’t to say you appreciated the mockery of him “asking you out,” but you figured it was funny as long as you didn’t allow yourself to be deceived. “You making a purchase or not?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled, lazily snatching a book from the rack nearest to him. He didn’t even look at the cover. “This one.”

It was pride and prejudice.

⋆

Your first time seeing Satoru outside of your workplace other than fleeting glances around campus, you were drinking coffee. You were sat on a barstool, chunky sweater loosely slung over your body as you tried to manage both typing an essay and sipping your drink. You were stuck on the first sentence, the text cursor staring impatiently up at you as you begged your mind to conjure something up.

‘If I could change one thing about my past, I would change…’

And that was it. That was all you could think of, the unfinished phrase being the farthest you could dive into the depths of your conscious. You didn’t know. It felt as though you had no answer, and yet a million all at once. You let out an annoyed groan, shoving your face into your hands. The frustration was a good enough distraction, considering you failed to notice the figure sliding into the seat next to you.

“Lookin’ a little stressed, mystery girl. You okay?” he teased, though there was more to it. An underlying softness, what you might even say is genuine concern.

You wanted to quip back, to keep up that consistently annoyed facade you’d managed to keep for the past few weeks. But everything was so overwhelming, you were running on a few hours of sleep, and you felt like your brain would implode if you tried to pack another thought in there. So instead of groaning or shooing him away, you peeked out over your hands and replied softly. “No.”

His playful grin twitched, threatening to disappear. The moment you opened your mouth and instead of an insult he was met with something near vulnerability. “…what’s up?”

“Stuff,” you replied curtly, before softening. “Right now I just… I don’t know what to do for this stupid assignment.”

“Hm,” he said, a crease forming between his brows. “What’s the question?”

You gently nudged your laptop, rotating it on the countertop so that he could real the half-sentence you’d left off at. He stared at it for a moment, eyes flickering back to you. “What, you don’t have anything you regret?”

Your voice was soft and smooth like butter, but it held a sort of shake, almost fearful. “Quite the opposite.”

A beat of silence passed, understanding swirling through the air as well as the bits and pieces of the layer that he felt he’d broken through. Whether you liked it or not, he knew you. Maybe not your name, but you. He’d promised himself that he would, and he was a man of his word when it mattered.

“How would you answer?” you asked, growing shifty from how exposed you felt.

He paused, contemplating whether to tell you the truth or not. He bit his cheek, eyes unfocused. “I think I would want to be born someone else.”

That shocked you more than anything else. He was Satoru Gojo, smart and charismatic and confident. He was the last person you’d expect to wish he were another. Everyone else wished they were him, so why did he long for the opposite? But every bit of wit was a layer encasing the deeper parts, the ones that hurt to look at. You knew that all too well.

Conversation flowed much better after that, and it was the first time you had allowed yourself to indulge in his presence as much as you wanted to. He was… nice. Nice to talk to, a nice person, generally. You got to see another side of him, not just the silly man who spent disgusting amounts of money to see you and kept begging you to go out with him—which you still thought was derisive. He was just Satoru, laughing and smiling and helping you figure things out in the midst of what seemed to be dark clouds surrounding you. He was the light.

You were just about to part ways, the sun setting over the horizon and casting a warm glow in its wake. You reached out, taking him by the elbow to get his attention. “Y/n,” you said. “My name is y/n.”

You swore his grin couldn’t have gotten any wider. “Nice to meet you y/n, I’m Satoru Gojo.”

⋆

Gojo surrounded you nearly as much as the sky did from then on. It seemed that was the way things were for the next… what was it, month? 30 days, 30 visits from Gojo, save for the occasional day of absence. Unfortunately, you’d caught yourself warming up to him. You longed to deny it, to believe yourself when you did. You just couldn’t. He started popping up everywhere; along the streets as you walked from one class to another, “just passing by” your class (which you still wondered how he knew), he was everywhere. Usually you managed to duck out before he could embarrass you, taking full advantage of knowing your name and choosing to shout it at every possible opportunity.

This was one of those times.

“Y/n!” he shouted, momentarily turning away from his two best friends to get your attention.

You gave him a sidelong glance before looking away, avoiding him in a dramatic, almost cartoonish manner. Before you knew it, he was by your side. He had a way of making sure you couldn’t avoid him even if you wanted to.

“Am I gonna see you tonight?” he asked.

You shrugged. “Considering I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m going to say no.”

“Come on,” he drawled with a pout, tilting his head to the side. “Party. That big fancy house down the street. You should come.”

“Uh… no.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Just once? For me?”

You hesitated with your next attempt to shut him down, and that was when he knew he’d gotten you. He’d won, yet again. With a wolfish smirk as he retreated, he called back, “I’ll see you there!”

You grumbled under your breath about how you didn’t know why you agreed to these things, and how annoying he was. Deep down, you knew it was all lies. You were sure you’d go anywhere if he asked nicely enough, maybe even the ends of the universe. You just weren’t ready for that conversation, not yet. He was a shining star, proud and bright, and you were nothing but an emotionally stunted mortal basking in his beauty. Him and his disgustingly beautiful eyes, the way people did a double take every time he passed them. He was everything, and he’d only recently learned your name.

That very same night you found yourself feeling utterly ridiculous as you walked up to the front door, wondering whether you should knock or not. It took another group of people walking straight in to give you that answer, pushing through the door and immediately being hit in the face with the sweaty heat of the party. Why were you even doing this for him? Last month, if given the same pleads as you had earlier that day you would’ve shot him down without a second thought. Why did that change? Why had you fallen for his tricks, just as you promised yourself you wouldn’t?

“Y/nnnn,” slurred an all too familiar voice from behind you. You turned to see Satoru Gojo stumbling out from the kitchen, a red solo cup in hand. Some of it sloshed out as he approached you, the liquid falling on the floor and looking like something radioactive.

“Gojo,” you said, instinctively placing a hand under his arm as he almost fell over you. “I see you’ve gotten started.”

His lower lip was pushed out into a pout, his eyes heavy and lazy as they looked you over. “I don’t… usually drink,” he swallowed thickly, eyes landing on yours once again. “But you were taking too long… I had to pass the time,” he explained, the corner of his mouth quirked up. You rolled your eyes, letting go of him with an unimpressed glance. He wished you hadn’t, he liked the way your hand felt on him. He wasn’t entirely sure if it was the alcohol or just how much he yearned for your touch, but it was unlike anything he had ever felt before. You made him feel those things rather often, it seemed you were a capsule of new emotions. Ones he hadn’t opened up to prior, ones he wasn’t sure were meant for him. Honestly, he didn’t know what was meant for him, but as he looked at you in the dim yellow lights of the frat party he had a pretty good idea. It was muggy and gross and sweat was already starting to create a soft sheen over your hairline, but to him you’d never looked more beautiful. Because you were here for him, you’d come for him and that was enough.

You glanced around the party, the one you hadn’t wanted to attend in the first place (which definitely had not changed upon arrival), and then at your disgustingly drunk, lightweight loser of a man standing next to you. Your friend? Maybe.

“Did you come with friends?” you asked, but the answer was fairly obvious. Satoru Gojo was rarely found without the people he loved… but now he was with you. Was that a switch up on his end, or was it sticking to his pattern? You couldn’t tell, and that wasn’t something you wanted to work out.

“Mm…” he hummed, as if he’d forgotten. “Yeah, but I don’ wanna be with them… wanna see you…”

You rolled your eyes, but your heart sped up embarrassingly and the face only grew warmer. His friends were nowhere to be found, and you may have seemed like you lacked an ounce of compassion to anyone else, but you couldn’t leave him.

With a sigh and eyes that avoided his all too much, you took him by the hand and led him towards the door. He was all too pleased, barely even bothered asking where you were going. “Let’s get you out of here, yeah? You’ve done enough partying.”

He offered a protesting whine in return, but didn’t dare to pull his hand from yours or even let his steps falter. Well, not voluntarily. He wasn’t the most coordinated drunk.

“Mmh- yeah, there ya’ go.” You guided his arm around your shoulder, and though your hand had parted from his, he didn’t mind the replacement. The nights air was cool in comparison to the interior of the house, refreshing against your flushed skin. It was momentarily silent as you walked down the sidewalk, choosing to save the money you would’ve spent on an uber for the drive two blocks away.

“Y/n?”

You could fill up an entire pad of paper if you tallied every time he said your name. He couldn’t help himself, it tasted so sweet on his tongue.

You responded with a hum, not wasting too much air on what you assumed would be some form of delirious, intoxicated thoughts.

“Why don’t you like me?”

You stopped in your tracks, and you swore your head had never whipped around faster. “What?”

He let out a sigh as if it was a great inconvenience to explain. His arm was still wrapped around you loosely, though there wasn’t much purpose to it now that you’d stopped walking. He glanced at you, and you were met with a rare flicker of something akin to hurt in his eyes.

“I… why don’t you like me? I come ‘round your little shop ‘nd I buy books… I don’t read any of them… and… and I beg you to go out with me, to just look at me, and you don’t. Why?” His voice was surprisingly even for his state. “Somethin’ wrong with me?”

All you could do was stand there and blink for a moment. He’d meant it. All of it. No mockery, nothing. Honestly, in the moment, he couldn’t have phrased it any better? Made it sound like he really wanted you, without that teasing tone underlying his voice? “I… I didn’t think you were being serious, Gojo.”

At the formal name he glared, but he didn’t comment. “I don’t even go for other girls,” he mumbled. “Why would I ask you if I wasn’t?”

Even in his slurred, tipsy condition, he had a point. You had never seen him with a woman, save for Shoko and when the need came, like schoolwork or helping out or anything of the nature. The point was, he didn’t pursue others romantically. You knew this, he knew you knew this, so he didn’t understand why you felt as though he was deceiving you.

“You’re right.”

“So…?” he said, a little more cheeky now.

With a huff and a few begrudging steps forward, you responded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go out with you.”

⋆

Your laughter rang out over the half empty streets, loud and unguarded. You’d spent the day visiting various places; the arcade, lunch, sipping hot chocolate as you walked through the park. More than you’d dreamed of, honestly, and to think you’d rejected him so many times. It felt as if your vision had been freed of the foggy lenses you’d been looking at him through before, seeing him for the kind (although a little cocky) man he was. The man he’d been trying to prove was there all this time.

“And then-“ you were cut off, the feeling of a small, wet droplet landing on your face pulling you from the conversation. You brought a finger up, wiping it and examining it for a second, long enough to come to the conclusion that it was raining. You looked upwards, as did he. The clouds were dark and gray, swirling with the threat of thunder and downpour. Your reactions were completely different, to say the least. While your eyes twinkled with awe and subtle anticipation, his nose crinkled in disdain. For once you were the bright eyed one, and he was just as gloomy as the sky above.

“It’s raining!”

“…it’s raining.”

You looked down from the somber atmosphere, met with the picture of his annoyance. “You don’t like the rain?”

He shook his head, meeting your eye. You almost gasped, but the singular nonchalant bone in your body made you refrain. “But it’s the best weather!”

“It’s dark and gloomy and wet,” he said, looking at you like you had spoken another language. He was utterly dumbfounded by your simple opinion.

More raindrops began to fall, decorating the concrete with dark, tiny spots. It was only then that you realized nearly everyone head cleared, leaving only the two of you and a few others as well as the passing vehicles. You smiled, wider than he’d ever seen you smile before. Your head was thrown back as you backed away from him, your arms outstretched at your side as you took in every bit of the rain. “Come on!” you said, a short laugh leaving your lips. Your eyes were closed now, but he was sure they’d be crinkling if they were open. “You can’t tell me this isn’t beautiful.”

“Hmm, yeah… I guess you’re right,” he agreed, but he wasn’t looking at the rain.

Satoru hated the rain, but he figured than the dampness of his bones and the way his vision blurred was all just fine as long as he could make out your foggy figure in the midst of it. Though his body hated the storms, his soul was unaffected, and all it did was long for you. So when your own spirit basked so happily in the wet weather, he couldn’t help but be content.

⋆

Satoru Gojo was a good boyfriend. Had you dared to tell yourself from a few months in the past, she would laugh in your face and send you away. But you were you now, and you knew all too well how good of a man yours was.

He opened doors for you, he cracked cheesy jokes when he knew you needed a laugh (they were so unfunny that you couldn’t even help it, he knew that), he gave you jackets when you were cold and he loved to guess your flavour of lipgloss before dropping you off at class every morning. He opened jars for you and braided your hair on tense, quiet nights when you didn’t have any words left to speak. He loved you more than someone who’s only known you for a handful months should, but you were not planning on complaining about that part. Some may say it was the honeymoon phase, some would argue it was love at first sight. You couldn’t be sure. All you knew was that you were happy, and that couldn’t be changed.

You felt a certain surge of bliss flow through you the moment you woke up, not because it was a particularly great day, but because of the first thing you were blessed with the sight of. Satoru was curled up in your bed, mouth agape as he slept on your chest. His white hair was fuzzy and strewn in gentle spikes surrounding his head, a hint of drool collecting at the corners of his lips. He looked so stupid, yet so absolutely peaceful that you were convinced he was beauty in its highest form. Screw whatever Greek mythology said, nothing blessed the eyes as greatly as the face of Satoru at ease.

A low grumble fell from his lips, though neither of you knew what words they were. His pale lashes blinked open, bleary eyes meeting yours. “Hey there,” he cheesed, mouth already forming into that cocky smirk. You hated it, hated the way you felt like every other one of his crazy fangirls every time he flashed it at you. Except it was just you, only for you.

“Morning, Satoru.”

He snuggled further into your chest, the fabric of your (his?) shirt crinkling beneath his nose as it nudged it. “Dream of me?”

You rolled your eyes, gently flicking him in the side of his head. His head shot up, looking cartoonishly offended. “That’s not nice!”

You grinned. “I’m not nice.”

He moved his face closer to yours, your features level as he looked into your eyes. “But you’re supposed to be nice to me,” he said, though no real emotion lied in the sentence. His were eyes flitting down to your lips, looking almost like some sort of deer in headlights. His head dipped down, just millimetres from you. He barely thought as he pressed his own to yours, lips meeting in a soft, sleepy way.

You parted for breath, a soft “satoruuuu,” tumbling from you before he was shutting you up with another kiss.

“Shh, I didn’t spend weeks begging for you to like me for you to not let me kiss you. Boyfriend privilege,” he tutted against your lips, and any protest you’d begun to shoot back was swallowed by him once again. You sassed, but he felt the way your hands tightened in his hair and your throat bobbed every time his teeth ran over your bottom lip. You loved him, and you hated it. It only made him like it all the much more.

⋆

The day was sunny, beating down on heaps of smiling faces as they took in all its warmth. The sky was clear and blue, you’d made a comment about how it looked similar to his eyes. He liked that, but he hoped you liked looking into his eyes better. The streets were busy, the sound of overlapping conversations and gas engines almost overwhelming. The only thing that grounded you was your hand wrapped around his bicep, his gentle guide through the crowd bringing you back to earth. You liked to act so big and tough, but there were moments like these where you were reminded that you were human too. Sometimes, you needed him. Needed your toru. You smiled bashfully when you came to the realization, to which he only smirked. It was as if he could read your mind, as if you were so in sync that he didn’t need to hear you voice it to know what you were thinking about.

But Satoru didn’t remember any of that. No, not clearly, at least. Looking back felt like trying to watch a video on a scratched disk, like there had been an old cameras lens’s blocking his vision.

All he remembered was screeching wheels and the sound of you being nudged just a little too close to the road, the way you tripped and fell seeming to be in slow motion. He remembered blood, too. A lot of it. It was yours. There were people screaming and the person behind the wheel crying, but by then it had all been tuned out by his ringing ears. He suddenly felt dizzy, all too dizzy. He’d zeroed in on your crumpled figure, hadn’t even noticed himself falling until his knees thudded against the rough road. His hands reached out to you, he was shaking. He nudged you once. A second time. No response.

“Y/n?” he asked weakly, as if a whisper only to you, avoiding the hundreds of eyes crowing around. He could hear distant police sirens, flashing lights bleeding in the corners of his vision. No. No. No no no no no. He could only think of one word then, the stubborn denial that this wasn’t happening. He was dreaming, he would wake up cuddled next to you and you’d wipe his tears, remind him that you weren’t going anywhere. But it wasn’t, the blood that stained his hands as he reached out to you was warm and wet and crimson, equally as real as the love you shared had been. The tears collecting in his eyes were real, too. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even think, he could barely cry.

He cradled you, and he felt no pulse as he placed his fingers on your neck. Your hair was stained ruby, leaving a trail of haunting colour in its wake as it dragged along his finger. You were being pulled from him, he tried to resist, but his arms felt weak and his mind numb. This couldn’t possibly be happening. You couldn’t go so soon, not when you had so many regrets, not when you’d finally gotten over it all and loved and lived with him. He needed more time, he needed to show you that everything was okay. But now he couldn’t, and he was left sitting on the side of the road as what used to be you was driven away. He lost you twice that day.

Once the road was empty and he was left with nothing but your looming absence, it started raining. Your favourite weather. Usually he’d be delighted, he’d bring you outside by the hand and watch as your heart was filled by every drop of water. Not this time. Now every bit of the liquid was wasted on a soul that could no longer be filled, what would only ever be a leaking shell of a man who loved foolishly. While the rain was what healed you, you were what healed him. Without you he was left a wounded man without aid, filled with cracks and chips that would reside with him forever. It was his fault. His fault for bringing you, his fault for loving you at all. After all, there was no curse more twisted than love.

Satoru Gojo hated the rain. Now and forever.

⋆

He wished you lived to see how much you mattered. He knew you tended to doubt it, didn’t value yourself nearly as much as you should have.

The bookstore you worked at closed not long after your passing. The only other worker there was a good friend of yours, she quit. She couldn’t handle your loss. Nobody could. Every time Gojo passed the empty building he was reminded of you, the old store just as lifeless as your body had been in that casket. You lingered everywhere, in every old book and cup of coffee and stupid philosophical question his professor would ask. You lingered in the sheets of his that you once slept in, your legs tangled with his as you laughed in the piercing bright of the morning. The clothes you’d scattered around his room untouched since the day you died, moving them felt like erasing you. Even washing his sheets was hard. He got a whiff of your perfume in one of his hoodies and he just broke, started ugly sobbing on the floor of his bedroom right then and there. Tears soaked the sweater, and he couldn’t help but notice that they looked like raindrops. Your favourite type of day was the one most similar to the picture of his despair, the way he curled into a ball and wailed to himself as he mourned your death. He figured that wasn’t too much of a surprise. You’d always appreciated the gloomier things, after all.

Sometimes he’d convince himself you were still there. He’d tell himself that you were right beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder and your voice ringing out in what was undoubtedly a sassy quip, but every time he turned to search for you he was met with nothing but a gaping emptiness, the hollow walls you haunted. You were no longer, you wouldn’t come back. You never would. He didn’t even get you tell you he loved you once more, kiss the soft, untouched expanse of your skin, remind you that you were delicate and precious and all his. Every day, the hatred inside of him grew and swallowed every bit of who he used to be. The man you loved was gone, his vessel unrecognizable. Satoru died that day too, but nobody mourned him because he wasn’t the one bleeding.

He sat on the roof of your bookshop, gazing out over the skyline. Buildings stuck up, jagged and irregular as they made tough lines over the horizon. You would’ve liked this view, but you simply hadn’t thought of coming up here before. Only he had, and by then it was far too late.

He looked down at his hand, bottom lip pulled between his teeth. It shouldn’t have been you. It should have been him. Maybe then he’d be reincarnated and born as someone else, hopefully reunited with you in the next lifetime. He had a feeling you would, your souls seemed to dance around each other in that sort of rhythm. But no, it had to be you. Did his suffering ever end? Tears fell and wet his skin, but suddenly, there were too many. Too many, too far.

He looked up, and he didn’t know if it was a cruel reminder or a gift sent by you, but it was raining.

He couldn’t bring himself to get up and go home that time. He embraced it, lying on the ground and imagining that if he closed his eyes tight enough, he’d open them and be able to see you again. When his eyelids parted, he was met with gloomy clouds and dim skies. In the midst of the darkness, he caught a glimpse of what he swore to be your silhouette. You were sly, even in the afterlife.

That day he didn’t lay in the rain; Satoru Gojo would never be caught dead doing that. He lied beneath you, raindrops that soaked into every part of him and sent chills up his spine. He knew you wanted him to. You didn’t come back as a sunset, you didn’t paint the skies with pink and orange. You were a chilly, rainy day that reminded him of your hands in his and your wide smile as you willingly gave yourself a cold, because with the sickness came a moment of joy. There was more truth to that than let on. Yes, now he grieved and lied in a puddle of tears and rainwater, but not long ago he’d been with you. He’d held you and felt the warmth of you on his fingertips, heard your voice ring through his ears, been granted the bliss that was your lips on his. He’d gotten the greatest joy of all, and he knew that if he died in this moment his only regret would be not embracing it more than he had, if that was even possible. He’d loved you, he’d felt your love. He’d been blessed with the softness of your gaze and the twinkle in your smile, seen the soft parts of you that would forever remain a secret between him and the rain. The knowledge of that, the feeling of bits of your soul returning with every rumbling thunder crash and strike of lightning was enough for him to know that you hadn’t died. You never would, because you loved, and nothing that loves ever truly dies. You would live on through him and everyone else you came by, his family for years to come would hear the story of a stubborn girl who healed someone she hated without even knowing it. Even after you were long gone, you healed him, one dollop of water at a time.

For years after that, though begrudgingly, Satoru was never inside during a storm. His opinion of rain hadn’t altered in the slightest, no. Satoru still hated the rain, but he loved you far more.

tags: @anotherwriternamedclara @adoresia @sh0ot1ngst4r @azinniyaa @kashee-h @ruruisru @lizbix

Because Satoru knew what happened to people the Gojos loved. He'd seen it, lived it, carried the weight of those consequences since before he could walk. Love, in his world, wasn't just about feelings — it was about target signs and weaknesses, about giving your enemies a roadmap straight to your heart.

And your heart? That was something he couldn't bear to put at risk.

So he had learned to swallow those words, to tuck them away behind smirks and jokes and casual touches that never lasted quite long enough. He had become an expert at loving you silently, at pouring all those unspoken feelings into small acts of protection, of care, of presence.

Some days, the words would claw at his throat like living things, desperate to escape. On those days, he'd find himself watching you — the way you moved, the sound of your laugh, the simple fact of your existence in his complicated world — and the urge to confess would be almost unbearable.

But then he'd remember all the attempts on his life, all the enemies who would love nothing more than to hurt him through you, all the danger that came with the name Gojo, and the words would retreat back into his chest where they lived like a constant ache.

Loving you had been the easiest thing Satoru had ever done. Keeping that love silent had been the hardest.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 6 ⁺ 　 . ✦

The first time Satoru realized he wanted to say those words to you, he had been six years old and you were crying because some older kids stole your favorite crayon. You had both been sitting in the reading corner of your kindergarten classroom, and your tears were making his chest hurt in a way he didn't understand.

"Don't cry," he had said, reaching out to pat your head like his mom did when he was sad. "I'll get it back for you."

You had sniffled, looking up at him with those wide, watery eyes that made his little heart skip. "But they're bigger than you."

He had puffed up his chest. "So? I'm stronger."

Before you could stop him, he had marched right up to the group of second graders during recess. They towered over him, but Satoru hadn't cared. He was a Gojo, after all, and Gojos didn't back down.

Ten minutes later, he had been sitting in the principal's office with a bloody nose and a black eye, but clutched triumphantly in his hand was your favorite crayon. The principal had called his parents, of course. There was talk of his "concerning behavior" and "excessive force," but all Satoru could think about was how your whole face had lit up when he handed you back that crayon.

That night, as his mother tucked him into bed, she had asked him why he did it. And he simply said because you were sad.

His mother had given him a look that he wouldn't understand until years later. "The Gojo men have always been weak to those they love," she had told him, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

He had wanted to tell you then, as you colored together the next day, carefully sharing that rescued crayon. The words had bubbled up in his chest like soda fizz, but he had swallowed them down. Because even at six, he knew that being around him meant trouble, and he didn't want to see you cry again.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 12 ⁺ 　 . ✦

Middle school had brought new challenges and new reasons to keep those words locked away. 

Satoru had started to understand what it meant to be a Gojo — the weight of the name, the expectations, the suffocating responsibilities that seemed to grow heavier with each passing day.

You were still there, though, somehow always by his side despite the chaos that surrounded him. When other kids whispered about his family, about the strange things that happened around him, you just rolled your eyes and shared your lunch with him like nothing was wrong.

He had nearly said it one autumn afternoon when you were both sprawled on your bedroom floor, supposedly doing homework but really just talking about nothing and everything. The late sunlight had caught your features just right, and you were laughing at something stupid he had said, and the words had almost slipped out.

But then his phone had rung. It had been his father, summoning him to an urgent clan meeting.

Another reminder of the life that awaited him — endless meetings about maintaining the Gojo name, about upholding traditions centuries old, about sacrificing personal happiness for the sake of the clan's future.

As he had sat in that austere meeting room, surrounded by stern-faced elders discussing bloodlines and duties and arranged marriages, all he could think about was your laugh from earlier that afternoon. How free it had sounded, how untainted by the weight of expectations and tradition.

How could he tell you he loved you when being with him meant dragging you into this world of rigid traditions and suffocating responsibilities? When loving him meant you might have to give up everything you held dear?

So he had swallowed the words once again, buried them deep, even as they burned in his chest like embers that refused to die. Because he would rather suffer in silence than watch the weight of the Gojo name dim the spark in your eyes.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 16 ⁺ 　 . ✦

High school was when Satoru had started deliberately pushing people away. He had built walls of arrogance and casual flirtation, keeping everyone at arm's length while making it look effortless. He dated casually, never seriously, and cultivated a reputation as someone who didn't do relationships.

Everyone had bought it except you.

You saw right through him, just like you always had. You called him out on his bullshit, threw erasers at his head when he was being particularly obnoxious, and somehow still showed up at his house with his favourite sweets when he was sick.

"Your ego's getting too big for this classroom," you'd tell him whenever he started showing off. He'd just grin and make it worse, because your exasperated sighs had become his favorite sound.

During lunch breaks, while others gathered around his desk trying to get his attention, you'd just roll your eyes and steal food from his plate. He'd pretend to be annoyed, but he had started packing extra of your favorites, just to watch you light up when you found them.

High school had also been the time when the clan's pressure had threatened to crush him. Every day brought new expectations, new techniques to master, new reminders that he wasn't just Satoru but the future of the Gojo clan.

He never told you, but your presence had kept him sane. You had been the only one allowed to see him practice with his cursed technique, sitting on the sidelines of the training grounds doing homework while he worked himself to exhaustion.

On the days when the pressure of being the strongest got too heavy, you'd wordlessly share your earbuds with him, letting him rest his head on your shoulder while some silly pop song played between you. And you'd hold his hand, and he'd squeeze back so tight it almost hurt.

In those moments, the words had been right there, sitting on his tongue. But he couldn't. Not when your friendship was the one pure thing in his complicated life.

But the words had nearly escaped one night when you were both sneaking back into town after a concert two cities over. You had been wearing his jacket because you forgot yours, and you were singing off-key to some pop song on the radio, and his heart had felt so full it might burst.

But then he had spotted a car that had been following them for the last twenty minutes, and instead of confessing, he had to lose the tail while pretending everything was fine. You never noticed, too caught up in your impromptu karaoke session, and he had been grateful for that at least.

He had driven you home in silence after that, the words buried so deep he could barely breathe around them. You had fallen asleep against the window, blissfully unaware of how close he'd come to changing everything between you.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 18 ⁺ 　 . ✦

College had brought a new kind of torture. Because then he had to watch you date other people, normal people who didn't have assassination attempts over breakfast or cursed energy that could level cities.

He still kept you close, though. He couldn't help it. You were his gravity, his true north, the one constant in his chaotic life. You were still the person who brought him coffee during all-nighters, who listened to his ridiculous theories at 3 AM, who somehow knew exactly when he needed a hug even though he'd never admit it.

The campus had whispered about it — about how the untouchable Satoru Gojo let you into his space so easily, how you were the only one who could barge into his dorm at any hour without fear of consequence. 

They wondered what made you special, what kind of hold you had over him. If they only knew how many times he had bitten back those three words when you'd fallen asleep on his shoulder during late-night study sessions, or how his heart had nearly burst when you'd chosen to spend the evening with him instead of going to that party your crush had invited you to.

The words had almost broken free during your sophomore year, when you had shown up at his door at midnight, crying because someone broke your heart. He had held you while you sobbed, stroked your hair, and plotted seventeen different ways to destroy the person who hurt you (he had only acted on three of them, and nobody could prove anything).

He remembered how you had curled into his side that night, hiccupping through tears about how you "just wanted someone who understood you."

The irony had burned in his throat — he understood you better than anyone, had mapped every constellation of your moods and meanings, had memorized every shade of your smile.

But understanding wasn't enough when being with him meant inheriting all his complications.

You had fallen asleep in his bed that night, wrapped in his favorite hoodie, and he had spent hours just watching you breathe, his heart aching with how much he wanted to keep you there forever.

When morning came, you had smiled at him over coffee and thanked him for being "the best friend anyone could ask for," and each word had felt like a knife between his ribs.

He had wanted to tell you then, had wanted to show you how you should be loved — wholly, fiercely, eternally. But he knew he couldn't offer you the normal life you deserved, so he had swallowed the words again and just held you tighter.

Instead, he had channeled all those unspoken feelings into being the kind of friend you needed. He walked you home from late parties, threatened anyone who looked at you wrong and pretended it didn't kill him every time you gushed about a new crush. 

What you had never told him was that each crush faded as quickly as it came, because somehow they all fell short of the impossible standard he had unknowingly set.

He became an expert at loving you from arm's length, at being everything you needed while hiding how much he needed you.

The worst part was how naturally it all came to him — how easy it was to be the one you turned to, to be your safe harbor in every storm. Because loving you had always been as natural as breathing, even when it hurt.

Especially when it hurt.

College became an impossible balance of keeping you close enough to stay in your life but far enough away to keep his heart from completely shattering.

He dated casually, built up his reputation as someone who didn't do commitment, all while knowing that the only person he'd ever wanted to commit to was right there, wearing his hoodies and stealing his fries and completely oblivious to how much power you held over him.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 22 ⁺ 　 . ✦

After graduation, you had both somehow ended up in the same city. Different jobs, different lives, but still orbiting each other like you always had.

You dated other people, and so did he (sort of), but you still met for coffee every Wednesday and dinner every Sunday, still texted each other random thoughts at inappropriate hours.

Those Wednesday coffee meetings had become sacred. He'd show up at your workplace, two cups in hand — one with less sugar but lots of milk, the way you liked it, and his own ridiculously sweet like his smile, as you always teased. 

He had memorized your schedule, knew which days you worked late, which mornings you had important meetings. On the nights when your job kept you at the office past midnight, he'd lurk nearby, pretending he just happened to be in the area when you finally emerged exhausted. 

You'd roll your eyes but accept his offer to walk you home, and he'd fight the urge to take your hand every step of the way.

Sunday dinners were even worse for his heart. Sometimes you'd cook (badly), sometimes he'd order in (expensively), but it always felt so domestic it hurt.

The way you'd steal bites from his plate, like you always used to do, how you'd curl up on his couch afterward like you belonged there, the casual way you'd rest your feet in his lap while watching movies — it was everything he wanted and nothing he could keep.

The words had nearly escaped during one of those Sunday dinners, when you were both a little drunk on wine and nostalgia, laughing about all the trouble you had gotten into growing up. You had looked at him with such fondness, such understanding, and he had almost broken.

"Remember when you punched that guy at the bar who wouldn't leave me alone?" you had asked, cheeks flushed from wine and laughter.

"Which time?" he had replied, only half-joking. There had been several instances, each one burning in his memory because how dare anyone make you uncomfortable.

"All of them," you had laughed, reaching over to poke his cheek. "My hero."

The word had squeezed his heart like a fist. Hero. If only you knew how selfish his protection had always been, how each act of defending you had been as much about his own possessive need to keep you safe as it was about your wellbeing.

You had shifted closer on the couch then, laying your head on his shoulder in that casual way that always made his breath catch and his fingers had itched to run through your hair, to tilt your face up to his, to finally close the distance he'd been maintaining for so many years. 

The words had risen in his throat like a tide. But then his phone had buzzed with an alert about another threat, another mission, another reason why loving him was dangerous, and he had bitten his tongue until he tasted blood.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 25 ⁺ 　 . ✦

It had gotten harder as the years passed. Harder to watch you live your life, harder to keep pretending he didn't want to be more than your best friend, harder to keep those three words locked away.

He had started taking more dangerous missions, throwing himself into his work with reckless abandon. Because if he was busy fighting curses and saving the world, he couldn't think about how much he wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to finally let those words free.

At least, that's what he had told himself as he accepted increasingly risky assignments, each one a little more dangerous than the last.

The other sorcerers had started calling him reckless. But how could he explain that facing down cursed spirits was easier than facing the way you looked at him with such concern? That physical pain was a welcome distraction from the constant ache in his chest?

But you were still there, still calling him out when he was being stupid, still patching him up when he came back injured, still looking at him like he was someone beyond his name and his power.

He always saved one small injury for you to tend to — a scrape here, a bruise there — even though his reversed cursed technique had already healed the worst of his wounds. It had become your ritual, you'd patch him up at your apartment, your coffee table covered in supplies that he didn't really need, both of you pretending this wasn't an elaborate excuse to be close to each other.

"You're going to get yourself killed one of these days," you had muttered one particularly bad night, hands trembling slightly as you cleaned a gash on his forehead that would have healed on its own in seconds. But he had let you fuss over it anyway, selfishly savoring every gentle touch.

The words had almost broken free one night when you were stitching up a particularly nasty wound on his side. Your hands had been gentle but your lecture was harsh, telling him off for being so careless with his life.

He could have healed it himself — you both knew that — but he had wanted your hands on him, even if they came with a scolding.

"You're not immortal, you idiot," you had said, and there were tears in your eyes that made his heart clench. "I know you think you're invincible, but you're not. What am I supposed to do if something happens to you?"

The raw emotion in your voice had nearly undone him. He had wanted to tell you then that he only acted so reckless because loving you from afar was slowly killing him anyway. That every mission, every fight, was just another way to exhaust himself enough that he wouldn't do something stupid like confess his feelings and ruin everything between you.

Instead, he had just made a joke about being too pretty to die, and pretended not to notice when you wiped your eyes. But he had caught your hand as you turned away, held it perhaps a moment too long, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in what he hoped felt like reassurance.

Your apartment had become his retreat those days. He would show up at odd hours, sometimes bleeding, sometimes just exhausted, and you would let him in without question. You never asked why he came to you instead of using his technique to heal himself. Maybe you had known, just like he had, that these moments weren't really about the injuries at all.

There had been nights when he'd fall asleep on your couch, lulled by the sound of you moving around your apartment, by the domestic comfort of knowing you were near. He'd wake up to find himself covered with a blanket, a glass of water on the coffee table, and his heart would ache with how much he wanted this to be his everyday reality.

Sometimes, in his weaker moments, he'd catch himself watching you as you worked on your laptop, curled up in the armchair across from him. The soft glow of the screen would wash over your features, and he'd think about how easy it would be to cross that small distance, to finally tell you everything he'd been holding back.

But then he'd remember the last mission, the close calls, the enemies who were getting stronger and bolder, and he'd force himself to look away. Because loving him had always come with a price, and he wasn't willing to make you pay it.

So he had buried those feelings deeper, thrown himself into more missions, and pretended that the ache in his chest was from the fights and not from loving you so much it physically hurt.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 28 ⁺ 　 . ✦

The breaking point had come, as these things often did, on an ordinary day.

You had both been in your apartment, having one of your regular movie nights. You were wearing old sweatpants and one of his hoodies that you had stolen years ago, there were takeout containers scattered across your coffee table, and you were arguing about whether the movie's plot made any sense.

It had been so normal, so comfortable, so perfectly you and him that something in his chest finally cracked.

Because he had realized, watching you gesture wildly about the movie's plot holes, that he had been an idiot. He had spent over two decades trying to protect you by keeping his distance, but you had been in danger this whole time anyway. Because everyone who knew him knew that you were his weakness, his soft spot, the one person who could bring the great Satoru Gojo to his knees.

And you had stayed anyway. Through every fight, every danger, every close call, you had chosen to stay in his life. You had patched his wounds, celebrated his victories, mourned his losses, and never once asked for anything in return except his friendship.

That night, he had decided tomorrow would be the day. No more waiting, no more excuses. He would finally tell you everything.

He had barely slept, spending hours picking out the perfect flowers, hoping they would help say everything his heart had been trying to tell you for years. He had practiced the words in his mirror, ran through a dozen different speeches, each one feeling more inadequate than the last.

But when he had arrived at your apartment building that morning, flowers clutched in sweaty palms and heart thundering in his chest, he had seen them through your living room window. You weren't alone. Someone else was there, someone who had made you throw your head back in laughter, who had pulled you close with an ease that made his chest constrict.

He had watched, frozen on the sidewalk, as you reached up to brush something from their cheek, the gesture so tender it had felt like a physical blow. The flowers in his hands had suddenly felt like they were made of lead.

Satoru had stood there for what felt like hours but was probably only minutes, watching you be happy with someone else, watching you shine so brightly for another person. Then, with movements that felt mechanical, he had dropped the flowers in a nearby trash can and walked away.

Three words, still unspoken, had burned in his throat with every step.

For weeks after that, he had thrown himself into missions like a madman, taking on the most dangerous assignments he could find. Anything to avoid thinking about how he had waited too long, how he had lost his chance.

But then you had called him one night, voice slightly slurred from wine, asking him to come over. And like always, he couldn't refuse you.

That's how he had found himself back in your apartment, watching you pace back and forth, ranting about how empty it all felt. How you had tried to move on, tried to find what everyone said you should want — a normal relationship, a simple life, someone safe.

"But it's not right," you had said, running your hands through your hair in frustration. "Nothing feels right. They're nice, they're perfect on paper, but—"

"But what?" he had asked, his heart in his throat.

"But they're not you," you had whispered, the words hanging in the air between you like suspended stars.

A movie had still been playing in the background, forgotten as you both stood there, years of unspoken feelings spilled on the floor. The weight of your confession had made it hard to breathe, and for a moment, just a moment, he had let himself imagine what it would be like to close the distance between you, to finally say the words that had lived in his heart for so long.

But then his phone had buzzed in his pocket — another threat, another reminder — and reality came crashing back.

"You can't," he had said, his voice rougher than he'd intended. "You can't say things like that."

"Why not?" You had taken a step toward him, and he had forced himself to take one back, watching hurt flash across your face. "Satoru, I've waited—"

"Then stop waiting," he had cut you off, hating himself for the way his words made you flinch. "This isn't—we can't—" A pause. "Do you know how many attempts there have been on my life this month alone? How many enemies would love to know that the great Satoru Gojo has someone he—" He had caught himself before the word 'loves' could escape. "Someone he cares about?"

"I'm not afraid—"

"Well, I am!" The words had burst from him with more force than he'd intended, making you both freeze. "I am terrified, okay? Because everyone I've ever—everyone who gets close to me ends up with a target on their back. And you—" His voice had softened despite himself. "You deserve better than that. Better than looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life, better than wondering if each goodbye might be the last."

"That's not your choice to make," you had said quietly, and the resignation in your voice had been worse than anger would have been.

"Yes, it is. Because I'm the one who would have to live with it if something happened to you because of me." He had straightened his shoulders, pulled on the mask he wore for everyone else — cold, untouchable, removed. "Go back to them. Find someone normal. Someone safe. Someone who can give you the life you deserve."

"And what about what I want?"

"Sometimes what we want isn't what's best for us." The words had left a bitter taste in his mouth.

You had looked at him for a long moment, tears gathering in your eyes, and he had dug his nails into his palms to keep from reaching for you. Finally, you had nodded once, sharp and hurt.

"Get out."

He had turned to leave, each step feeling like he was walking through concrete. At the door, he had paused, his hand on the handle.

"I'm sorry," he had whispered, not turning around. Because if he had looked at you then, his resolve would have crumbled entirely.

The soft click of the door closing behind him had sounded like the end of everything.

✦ . 　⁺ Age 30 ⁺ 　 . ✦

Two years of carefully maintained distance had felt like an eternity. The clan's pressure had mounted with each passing month — meetings about bloodlines, about duty, about carrying on the Gojo name. His parents had finally put their foot down, presenting him with a list of "suitable" candidates from other prestigious families.

Satoru had turned it into something of an art form, really — how to be just obnoxious enough, just impossible enough, that each carefully selected partner would run screaming for the hills without him technically refusing anyone.

"This is getting ridiculous," his mother had sighed after the seventh failed meeting. "Are you going to chase away every eligible human on this earth?"

Yes, he had wanted to say. Because none of them were you.

You still texted occasionally — surface-level messages about holidays or birthdays, the kind of distant politeness that felt wrong after decades of intimacy. He had saved every message anyway, re-reading them late at night when missions left him too restless to sleep.

Your contact photo was still the same one from college, you resting your head on his shoulder, laughing at something he’d said. He couldn’t bring himself to change it.

Sometimes he'd catch glimpses of you around the city. You'd cut your hair, changed jobs, moved to a new apartment. He knew all this from the careful distance he maintained, from the reports he definitely didn't ask Ijichi to give him.

You seemed... fine. Happy, even. It was what he'd wanted, he told himself. You, safe and happy, even if it was without him.

The invitation had arrived on a Tuesday.

The envelope had been cream-colored, expensive. His name written in elegant calligraphy that had made his stomach drop before he'd even opened it. Inside, the words had blurred together, except for the ones that mattered.

You were getting married.

To someone safe. Someone normal. Someone who could give you everything he couldn't.

The invitation had sat on his coffee table for days, taunting him. He'd catch himself staring at it during his morning coffee, during late-night mission reports, during every quiet moment when his mind wasn't occupied with staying alive.

Your handwritten note had been worse than the formal invitation.

'I'd really like you to be there. Please come.'

His phone had been in his hand before he'd realized it, your number still muscle memory after all this time. The cursor had blinked at him mockingly as he'd tried to formulate a response.

'Congratulations,' he had finally typed, each letter feeling like a small death. 'I'll be there.'

Because of course he would be. He'd sit there and watch you marry someone else, would paste on a smile and give a toast if asked, would pretend his heart wasn't being ripped from his chest with every word of the ceremony.

It was what he deserved, really. He had pushed you away, had made the choice for both of you, had convinced himself it was for the best. This was the consequence of his protection, the price of keeping you safe.

He had gotten drunk that night, alone in his apartment, surrounded by the ghosts of all the words he'd never said. The three most important ones still burned in his throat, unspoken after all these years.

His phone had buzzed with your reply. 'Thank you. It means a lot.'

Four words that had somehow hurt worse than the invitation itself.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The day of your wedding had dawned grey and miserable, as if the weather itself was matching Satoru's mood. He'd been away on a mission until the last possible moment, taking out his frustration on cursed spirits with perhaps more violence than strictly necessary.

He had arrived at the venue late, soaked from the rain, his suit probably ruined. But he'd promised to be there, and he'd never broken a promise to you before. He wasn't about to start now, even if it killed him.

But when he had made his way inside, he'd immediately sensed the chaos inside. Hushed, worried voices had carried through the open doors. "Has anyone seen them?" "The ceremony should have started twenty minutes ago." "Check the dressing room again!"

But Satoru had known exactly where to find you.

The venue's grounds had stretched back to a small lake, and there, beneath an old maple tree whose leaves provided little shelter from the rain, you had stood. Your wedding outfit was getting steadily soaked, but you hadn't seemed to notice or care, staring out at the rippling water.

He had approached slowly, drinking in the sight of you. Even with dirt stained cloths and dripping hair, you had been the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Everyone's looking for you," he had said softly.

You hadn't turned around. "I know."

"Three hundred people in there wondering where you've gone."

"Three hundred and one, now that you're here." Your voice had been quiet, almost lost in the rain. "Why are you here, Satoru?"

"You invited me."

"That's not what I meant." Finally, you had turned to face him, and the look in your eyes had made his heart stutter. "Why are you really here?"

He had taken a step closer, drawn to you like gravity, like always. "You know why."

"Do I?" Your voice was so small. "Because I thought I knew, once. I thought I knew a lot of things. But then you pushed me away, told me to find someone safe, someone normal." You had gestured toward the building behind you. "Well, I did. So why are you here?"

"I—"

He had caught sight of a small cut on his cheekbone in a puddle's reflection — the one injury he hadn't healed, the one he'd kept out of habit, out of the memory of your gentle hands patching him up all those years.

Your eyes had followed his, landing on the cut. Without seeming to think about it, you had reached up, fingers ghosting over the wound like they had a thousand times before. The familiar gesture had nearly broken him.

"Don't marry them," he had whispered.

"What?"

"Don't marry them," he had whispered again. "Please."

"Why not?" The question had been barely a whisper. "Give me a reason, Satoru. One real reason why I shouldn't walk back in there and marry someone who actually wants me."

"Because—" The words had stuck in his throat, years of habit holding them back.

"I love you," he had whispered, the words falling into the rain-soaked space between you, and suddenly he could breathe again. Twenty-four years of holding back, of swallowing those words, of carrying them like stones in his chest — and now they were free, floating in the air between you like butterflies finally released from their cage.

"I love you," he had said again, stronger this time. "I've loved you since we were kids. I've loved you through every fight, every mission, every time I tried to push you away for your own good. I've loved you so long I don't remember what it feels like not to love you."

"You—" Your voice had broken. "You idiot. You're telling me this now? When there are three hundred people waiting inside? When I've spent months trying to convince myself I could love someone else?"

"I know. I know, and I'm sorry, but—"

"Shut up," you had breathed, and then you had pulled him down by his lapels and kissed him.

He had kissed you back like a drowning man finding air, like coming home after a lifetime of wandering. Your lips had been cold from the rain but soft against his, and when you had melted against him, he'd felt something in his chest finally slot into place.

Years of careful control had shattered like glass, and he had wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you clean off the ground in a surge of desperate joy. You had gasped against his mouth, and he had taken the opportunity to deepen the kiss, pouring decades of longing into it.

He had spun you around, your hands threading through his wet hair as he held you against him like he was afraid you might disappear if he loosened his grip even slightly. Rain had continued to fall around you, but neither of you had noticed or cared.

His hands had splayed across your back, holding you impossibly closer as he kissed you like a man starved, like he was trying to make up for every kiss he should have given you over the years.

When you had broken apart, you were both breathing heavily, foreheads pressed together as the rain continued to fall around you. Your fingers had still been twisted in his jacket, and his hand had still been cradling your face like you were something precious, something he couldn't quite believe he was allowed to touch.

The weight of all those unspoken words, all those careful distances he'd maintained, all those moments he'd held himself back — it had all lifted away like mist in the morning sun. For the first time in twenty-four years, he had felt truly, completely free.

"You're so stupid," you had whispered, but you hadn't moved away. "There are three hundred people in there, expectations, plans, a whole life I'm supposed to—"

"Run away with me."

"What?"

"Run away with me," he had repeated, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. "Right now. Let me take you anywhere you want to go. Let me spend the rest of my life making up for lost time, for every moment I was too scared to love you the way you deserved."

"Satoru—"

"I know it's selfish," he had continued, words tumbling out like he couldn't hold them back anymore. "I know I have no right to ask this of you, not after pushing you away. But I can't— I can't watch you marry someone else. I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what if, knowing I let you go without fighting for you."

You had laughed, the sound wavering between tears and joy. "You really are the most impossible man I've ever met."

"Is that a yes?"

"My parents will never forgive me."

"I'll win them over."

"The clan will be furious."

"Let them be."

"Everyone will talk."

"Let them talk." He had cupped your face in his hands, thumbs brushing away the rain and tears on your cheeks. "I don't care about any of that. I just care about you. About us. Everything else… we'll figure it out together."

"Together," you had repeated softly, like you were testing the word. "You won't push me away again? Try to protect me by leaving?"

"Never again," he had promised. "I'm done running. Done pretending I don't love you more than anything in this world. Done letting fear keep me from the only thing that's ever really mattered."

You had searched his face for a long moment, and he had let you see everything — all the love, the fear, the desperate hope he'd kept hidden for so long.

Finally, you had smiled, bright and real, the smile he'd fallen in love with all those years ago. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Take me away from here," you had said, and his heart had soared. "Show me what it's like when Satoru Gojo finally stops holding back."

He hadn't needed to be told twice. In one fluid motion, he had swept you into his arms, your surprised laugh warming something deep in his chest.

"What about everything inside? My things, the guests—"

"I'll send Ijichi to handle it," he had said, already walking away from the venue, from the life you'd almost had without him. "Right now, all that matters is you and me."

"And where exactly are you taking me?"

"Anywhere you want," he had promised, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Everywhere. We have a lifetime of moments to make up for, after all."

You had wrapped your arms around his neck, tucking your face against his shoulder. "I love you too, you know. In case that wasn't clear."

He had tightened his hold on you, something fierce and protective and overwhelmingly tender swelling in his chest. "Say it again."

"I love you, Satoru Gojo," you had whispered against his neck. "I always have."

As he had carried you away from the venue, the rain had finally begun to let up, sunlight breaking through the clouds. A new beginning, he had thought.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Looking back, Satoru couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. All those years wasted, all that time spent pushing you away when he could have been holding you close. He'd thought he was protecting you, but in reality, he'd just been protecting himself from the terrifying vulnerability of being truly, completely loved.

Because that's what you did — you loved him entirely, unconditionally, with a fierce devotion that still took his breath away. You loved him through the dangerous missions and the late-night emergencies, through the clan meetings and the political drama. You loved him through the nightmares and the victories, through every high and low that came with being Satoru Gojo.

Life wasn't perfect, of course. There were still threats, still enemies who thought they could use you to get to him. But they had learned, quickly and painfully, that you weren't some helpless weakness to exploit. You were his strength, his anchor, his reason for coming home safely every time.

Those old fears seemed ridiculous now. Because yes, loving him came with dangers — but you had always known that, had always chosen him anyway. And together, you were so much stronger than apart.

The clan had been furious about the wedding scandal, of course. But it was hard to maintain their anger when you handled every social situation with grace, when you proved yourself more than capable of standing beside the strongest sorcerer in the world.

Eventually, even the most traditional elders had to admit that perhaps the Gojo heir had chosen well after all.

Your old routine had shifted, evolved into something even better. Now when you patched up his wounds (the ones he still deliberately saved for you), he could kiss you afterward. When you fell asleep during movie nights, he could pull you close instead of maintaining that careful distance. When you brought him coffee during all-nighters, he could show his gratitude with more than just words.

The best part, though? The absolute best part was being able to say those three words whenever he wanted. And he said them constantly — whispered them against your skin in the morning, called them across rooms just to see you smile, breathed them into quiet moments like prayers.

"I love you" when you handed him his coffee, exactly how he liked it.

"I love you" when you rolled your eyes at his dramatic entrances.

"I love you" when you fell asleep on his shoulder during clan meetings.

"I love you" when you patched up injuries that didn't need patching.

"I love you" for no reason at all, just because he could, just because the words had lived in his heart for so long that letting them free still felt like a miracle.

And every time — every single time — you said it back, like you'd been waiting just as long to be able to say it freely.

Sometimes, on quiet nights when you were both home safe, he'd watch you doing something mundane — reading a book, making tea, existing in his space like you'd always belonged there — and the gratitude would hit him so hard he could barely breathe. Gratitude that you had waited, that you had loved him through his fears and his mistakes, that you had given him the chance to love you properly.

Because that's what he did now — loved you properly, openly, with everything he had. No more holding back, no more careful distance. He loved you the way you deserved to be loved — wholly, fiercely, eternally.

And every day, for the rest of his life, he made sure you knew it. Three words, eight letters, repeated like a promise, like a prayer, like the most important truth he'd ever known.

I love you.

And every day, for the rest of your life, you said it back.

author's note — after editing this, i realised it's more angsty then intended but oh my i'm sorry, i can't help it. but i hope it made you smile anyway. thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to read this story. your support means the world to me. in these challenging times, please remember that even the darkest nights eventually give way to dawn. sending lots of love your way <3

ps: if you want to get notifications for future updates, you can join my taglist here!

tags — @fayuki @starmapz @saurondriell @starlightanyaaa @sxnkuna

@cocomanga @nanamis-baker @rosso-seta @shervinss @chiyokoemilia

@janbannan

Reason #2: the way you laugh

I know it’s getting hard to do that now, but when you finally do, it’s the most pleasant sound my ears have ever heard, that my body has ever felt when you giggle against my neck. It sounds like a sweet melody, one that makes you warm. One that makes you smile, without noticing. 

I don’t think anyone could ever have as beautiful as laugh as you do. Even then, it wouldn’t compete.

The way you laugh sounds so natural like you don’t care who hears. I miss your laughs so much. Whenever I hear it, in that moment, everything is okay. Everything is perfect. Because you’re perfect. 

It’s the sound of joy that fills up a room and my heart. I wish I could listen to it forever.

“I didn’t take you for a poet.”

Satoru laughs, dimple more prominent. “I can be cute when I want to.”

You smile, followed by your oh-so-precious laugh. He practically melts on the spot. He can hear the rattling in your chest he’s unfortunately become familiar with. But his face doesn’t fall, instead, he holds you closer and presses a kiss to your hairline. 

It feels like just yesterday when you both got the news, when your lives changed. It’s the second week, but he just prays for time to slow down. For he’s not ready for the future. 

Reason #3: your determination

It’s so beautiful to see. The way you try and try, even after failure. The way you never give up. Maybe it’s because you’re a bit stubborn, but you never back down. It’s a quiet strength about you that I hope you can make loud one day.

You’re fierce, but quiet. Determinated, but timid. I’ve never seen those combinations before, but now that I have, I love it. 

“I wish I was still strong enough.”

His heart breaks at the sight before him, along with your resigned tone of voice. Pushing some strands of hair out of your eyes. “Listen,” he murmurs, head titling. “You are strong, then and now. You will always be strong. Do you want to know why?”

“Why?”

“Because I know you. And I know you’re not ready to give up, just like I’m not giving up on you. We’ll both fight this. In the end, I’ll buy you that ice cream you really like.”

Tears fill your eyes, a sad smile playing on your lips. “Okay, I can’t wait.”

Reason #4: your creativity

I know you’re trying to find ways to take your mind off the now, I am too. I didn’t think someone was capable of picking up on hobbies so fast, but the gloves you knitted me say otherwise. Oh, and the cute little crotchet animals that now take residency on my side of the bed. But I’ll let that slide, just for you. (The little gray bunny is my enemy, btw.)

I wish I was as creative as you. It’s like your juices just get flowing and once you start, you don’t stop. I love seeing it happen in real-time. It makes you happy, I know that. So it makes me happy too.

I’ve been getting more yarn now when I’m out, it’s kind of just like second nature now, I guess. They’re starting to pile up, but I hope one day they’ll all be gone. 

“Keep her off her feet more.” The doctor tells Satoru, who currently stands with a pensive expression, fingers curling around your own. “Your wife needs all the rest she can get, so if you can, keep her on bedrest with less strenuous activities.”

Bedrest. 

That word alone shakes you to your core, a prime example of your deteriorating condition. You can hear your weakened heart pound in your ears, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. If you’re being advised to be put on bed rest, what hope is left for you?

Almost none.

Reason #5: how you care about people

“That’s ironic, isn’t it?” You huff out, a wince soon taking over. 

Satoru’s comforting hand places itself on your pale one, smiling. “Just keep reading.”

With one final breath out, your eyes travel down to the small journal, reading today’s entry.

You have a certain way of making people feel seen. Including others in conversation, making sure no one is left out. You listen when needed, comfort when needed, and give advice when needed. Even if you’re not doing the best yourself.

You make people feel important, make me feel important. You look beyond titles and hierarchies and just see…me. 

If someone’s at their lowest, you make them feel seen. I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it, and I love it.

You don’t even know you’re reaching out for him until his arms wrap securely around your waist. Careful not to drop his full weight onto your frail body. But god do you wish he did, you missed how things were before.

Hot tears stain his shirt and Satoru feels his own set begin to let loose. He’s always been good at comforting you when you’re crying, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t cry with you. 

Reason #6: the way you make the mundane beautiful 

“Mundane.” You repeat, coughing. 

“Mundane.” Satoru confirms, holding your hands. “Do you think mundane is bad?”

“I feel like I can’t even do mundane things now.”

His head shakes. “You can, and you do. Life is mundane with you, but it’s also exciting, beautiful.”

With a jut of his chin towards the journal, you take the hint and continue reading.

How you can turn something so ordinary into something magical is still beyond me. Maybe you’re a secret witch (I would like that). You look for the beauty in things.

The way the sun hits the leaves, the sound of rain, or the way our hands fit together. You see the world in a way no one else does.

I see the beauty in you too. When your nose crinkles because of my “smelly” socks, your head tilting when you’re confused, or even that look you give me when I say something stupid or funny. I like admiring you, and I like the way you admire. 

Reason #7: how you make me a better person

There’s a resounding thump noise as you throw the journal into the wall. Health slowly failing along with your own mental stability. Satoru holds back a frown, feeling himself uncomfortably shift beside you.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He gently asks.

“I don’t wanna read anymore.” Your voice is bordering on unrecognizable, the rattling in your chest more prominent.

He heaves a small sigh, walking over to pick the book up and back to you. Sitting on the edge of the bed and carefully regarding you with an examining gaze. “Why not?”

Many reasons. “I-It just makes me emotional, Satoru.” 

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Everything!” You shout, looking at him with a pitiful expression. “I’m already fucked up as it is, I don’t wanna cry anymore!”

God, is this really testing his emotional resilience. But that’s not what you need right now. “I know, I know you don’t, baby. But look at it like this,” he scoots closer, fingers intertwining with yours. “There’s nothing wrong with crying, it means we’re still human, it makes us feel….complete sometimes. And I know you’re trying hard to hold everything in, I see it. But please, just let everything out, don’t worry about the mess. Because I’m here.”

Your hands tremble, no longer fighting back your tears as you hesitantly reach for the outstretched journal and read, tears wetting the page. He holds you close.

You challenge me, in the best way. You push me to be more rational, logical, to be more punctual and caring. You push me to be the best me, you encourage my beliefs and ideas, and you’re there for me when something doesn’t fall through.

Without you, I can’t be who I am today. Without you, I’m not me.

You’ve made me the best me, by just being yourself. 

Next week, you’re saying bye to your forever home. Being forced to spend your last days in an uncomfortable hospital with a scent that you hate. This is the last time you’ll walk these halls, use that stove, watch that TV, sleep in that bed.

You cling to him like a lifeline, sometimes you wish he was. 

Soft cries fill the otherwise dim and quiet room, his arms wrapped around your body. Your arms are around his neck, legs opened wide enough so he can fully accommodate his body between them. The way he deliciously slides in and out, in the slowest and gentlest manner, all for your sake. Small moans and grunts fall from your guys’ lips.

The last time he’ll ever make love to you.

“Reason #8: the way you love me.” 

You almost break down even more at the sound of his cracking voice, noticing the shaky inhale he does as he looks down at you, hips moving in a steady motion. 

“You love me so fully, so unconditionally.” he starts off, grunting quietly as your walls squeeze around him. “It’s not about perfection with you. It’s about the way you choose me. Every day, even when we’re not at our best. I know I’m loved because you show it, every moment, in a thousand little ways.”

His lips kiss and gently suck on your pulse point, tongue darting out to lick and savor your sweaty skin. The tip of his cock hits your g-spot in a rhythm that has you whimpering out, nails digging into his shoulders. Your head tilts back slightly, he guides it back with one free hand and kisses you passionately. 

He swallows your moans and tastes your tears. His tears fall onto your cheeks, mixing in with everything. 

This isn’t just about sex, but it’s about being one with each other. It’s about savoring each other like it’s your last breath, melting into each other’s bodies, and loving you in the most intimate way.

He commits this to memory. 

Satoru stays by your side every day and every night. He doesn’t leave, even when he’s prompted by you to eat and sleep. But he can’t, not when this could be the last time he’ll ever talk to you. 

You look so fragile, so out of place in the hospital bed. The gown one size too big and he just wanted to take you in his arms and into a far-away place. Away from the hospital, away from this heart condition, and just with him. 

You can barely even keep your eyes fully open, multiple wires running through your body to keep you conscious. But you still hold onto his hand, tightly, as if you never want to let go.

And you don’t. Neither does Satoru,

Pale skin and dry lips. Everything about you screams illness. No matter that, you force yourself to stay coherent while he reads. 

“Reason #:9”, he looks at you, “the way you feel like home.”

Satoru forces his voice to remain steady, smiling at you. “Being with you is a safe place, a shelter from this cruel and dirty world. No matter where I am, where you are, where we are, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. You make me feel seen, understood, loved. Nothing else matters but us. Your touch, your voice, your presence, that’s all home to me, and I’m so happy I finally found my home.”

Warm tears slowly trickle down your cheeks, your smile feeling like it’s too hard to handle. “You’re my home too, Satoru. I….I don’t wanna leave home.”

A shaky breath. “You won’t.” His hand squeezes you tighter, planting a chaste kiss on your cracked lips. “I’ll always be here, I’ll always follow you. Just keep holding onto me, okay?”

“O-okay.” You croak out, sniffling. 

That night, he falls asleep with you. Holding you like he always does. Whispering sweet nothings into your ear, thumb tracing lazy circles on your knuckles. Your warmth keeps him going, but it also makes him sleepy.

It’s only then does he realizes something. 

He’s happy. He’s so, so happy. He’s with you, you’re with him, and everything else fades away. Because it’s just you two. As much as it hurts, he wants you to go peacefully, and with him.

So, as the hours pass and when he opens his eyes. He’s met with a cold body, an unmoving form in his arms. And tears mixing in with your hair as he hugs you tight one last time.

“Reason #10.”

He sets the bouquet of white roses down on the cold stone, kneeling down before it. Your name stares back at him. 

“The best one, in my opinion. You know….I really hate how I couldn’t tell you this last one in person. But you’re still listening, aren’t you?” He places his hand above your name and a small gust of wind replies back. He smiles. 

“The way you taught me to live.”

“You taught me to how to live, not just in ‘big moments’, but in the small ones too. The moments that matter. The times we spent together, the quiet talks, the laughter, the shared silences. You’ve shown me that life isn’t about counting days—it’s about making days count.”

After leaving, he can’t help but cry. Fingers twitching by his sides, ears ringing. He blocks out the world. Until there’s a small rustling in the bushes beside him. He stops and looks.

He laughs.

“Guess you’re still keeping an eye on me, huh?”

Staring back, a cute little gray bunny. Its ears twitch, as if acknowledging him.

He takes a step closer, then kneels down, his voice softening. "Don’t worry. I’ll be okay. I promise."