do you ever say something and then think "wow this isnt even a bit. im just like this"

i feel dirty after reading that

do yoo need a scwubby wubby? OwO

i think i do need a scwubby wubby to be honest but not from you

When is it my turn to be happy.

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

I think to counter the rash of LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION billboards we should pool our money for a series of roadside advertisements that just say ABORT THAT THANG

Gets a handjob but parries it flawlessly, shattering their wrist

engaging in girly activities such as: knotting

I accidentally follow people so much on this site that i dont know who half the people on my dash are

bullshit

come on man

we are fucked