sometimes instead of a horrid little monk, divine visions of lesbians dance in my head dispensing wisdom
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@sarcasper
sometimes instead of a horrid little monk, divine visions of lesbians dance in my head dispensing wisdom

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. We need a "This is absolutely NOT mature content" feedback button on posts. You can report a post as missing a community label. We should also be able to report posts as having a community label when they dont fucking need one.
A trend in the "nobody cares about me" crowd that they probably don't want to hear about but needs to be said anyway is that maybe sometimes people do care about you, you just won't let them.
If you alienate everyone close to you by demanding their time and energy but still complain that nobody cares about you because they aren't doing enough, that is actually a you problem.
Until YOU internalize what healthy love is, you won't feel loved no matter what anyone around you does. And in the process of yelling about how unfair it is you're harming the people who actually give a shit. Sometimes.
And this obviously (but stating anyway cuz Tumblr) isn't everybody who feels like nobody cares. But it is a trend I have seen in numerous people. It is, kinda, hard to care for someone if they're aggressive and hard to be around on a chronic basis.
It's disordered behavior, too, but that doesn't mean you have a free pass to lash out at people. It is your responsibility to evaluate reality vs. your trauma in relationships and not make it other peoples' jobs to emotionally regulate you for you.
OH, ALMOST FORGOT, ALSO VERY IMPORTANT:
While relationships should be a relatively equal amount of give and take, you doing things for others that they never asked for nor expected of you and then being angry when they don't give 150% back is also a problem. It doesn't mean you're a nice person who's selfless and always giving to others. It means that you're not practicing healthy boundaries and you need to learn that Being Useful doesn't make people love you any more. If you unbalance the scale it isn't fair to come back at people with resentment when they practice healthy boundaries, i.e. respecting their own needs and limits and not centering you in every part of their lives.
I actually highly recommend looking into codependency if this is a thing for you.
VIOLATING YOUR OWN NEEDS AND BOUNDARIES DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOVABLE; YOUR RESENTMENT IS A BURDEN TO OTHERS.
I feel like I need to share this because idk if Europeans are familiar with the presence of Aldi in the US, but at least especially in my area they’ve been growing a lot recently. Like Aldi bought out some local failing grocery chains where I live (Louisiana) and have opened Aldis in all these somewhat rural communities and small towns, which for the record I’m fine with
But as a result of this they are advertising a lot more in my area and also in many cases, the people in these areas have never been confronted with Aldi or any European grocery store. So the ads that Aldi is pushing out to its new US customer base feature a cowboy shopping at Aldi who is explaining to new Aldi customers how Aldi works. Like this cowboy is explaining you gotta put a quarter in the shopping cart and why there are very little name brands. A cowboy is how they want to reach their American customer base. They gave us a cowboy
Here he is, the Aldi Cowboy
oH RIGHT This was before LotR pioneered cgi for massed crowd behavior
There was so much cool cgi in those movies I just assumed all the clones were too but back then I guess they still couldn’t really be
this is so sexy
I wonder what happened to all the agent smith masks
I can actually answer this! So the latex/rubber they used, while standard for Hollywood at the time, reacted REALLY BADLY to being doused in pouring water nonstop for an entire day of shooting. They ended up corroding, which caused them to stink really badly and glob together at the seams. The original plan was to hand out masks to various crew members on the final day of shooting as souvenirs, but the sopping wet, melting, rotting rubber got so gross that by the end of that shooting day they’d already thrown most of them out. Somewhere in a landfill are hundreds of disgusting, bloated, slimey Hugo weaving heads fused together into a nightmarish rotting amalgam :)
it’s what he would have wanted

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When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.
Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.
Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.
I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny
Happy Pride
I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THE PAINT JOB I NEED ON MY CAR.
driving my newly painted car down to my job at the children’s hospital
ily, menswear guy
Leaf your leaves on the ground (no, seriously.) They provide so much for bugs, places to lay eggs places to hibernate. This comic does a great job at showing WHY we don't see our little friends as often, because our systems and social expectations are anti-earth and anti-life. Don't eradicate your friends (maybe just that one) let the leaves lay

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We'll always go back for the others
Always
op i'm tearing up and it's not seasonal allergies
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Movement nudge, getting up off the floor!
X
real talk, i saw this other vid 7 years ago where a trainer like this lady gave some of the most important physical health advice I ever heard that changed my life:
#1. You should be able to lay down on the floor (face down or back) and be able to get up without your hands. If you can't? Spend a little bit every day just doing that, laying on the floor and getting up again no hands style, then laying down again (you'd be surprised how fast it wears you out after a few times)
#2. You should be able to get up out of a chair without using your hands or grabbing on to anything. Can't? Fucking start training mother fucker! Just a few uppies every day could save your damn life when you get older!
#3. You should be able to turn your neck to the side without twisting your upper body in the same direction, you should be able to turn your head freely without moving your shoulders, chest or torso! Start looking up loosy goosy neck exercises! It makes such a HUGE difference!
#4. You should be able to motherfucking stand on one foot and keep your balance for longer then 15 seconds. Haha sounds easy right? Thats what I thought when I tried after watching that vid, i was horrified to find how hard it was! I started doing "one leggy style" standing any chance I got, when I'm in line somewhere, when I'm watching a video... just do a few rounds of 10 seconds on each leg for like 5 min every day!
You get older and you think you still have all the same limberness as you did when you were 8, but whens the last fucking time you ran around and played like an 8 year old? You loose that flexibility so subtlety and then one day when you need it? BAM ITS GONE
Start getting into these habits now, i don't care if you're 18/25/30/45/50 OR WHATEVER JUST START YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
When I was at the natural history museum, the fossil section had stickers on the glass to engage children - things like "Flap your arms like a pterodactyl" or "Measure your hand against the mosasaurus." However the first of these I encountered, which I found alarming and threatening without context, was a sticker reading "Struggle like you are stuck in a tar pit"
I feel like more bright colors, an exclamation mark, or a more whimsical font choice would've also helped here to indicate that it is a Fun Activity For Children. Instead it felt like getting instructed in my inevitable fate by a road sign
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened

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An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
- Guess I’m swimming then…
change your god damn url OP