Sometimes I'm so awesome I amaze my own damn self.

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

goose

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

i dont mean to victim blame but why do these vampires keep talking to daniel molloy when they know he's daniel molloy

They think they can outsmart him just because he’s a baby

the real danger of spending too much time with friends is you stumble out of ten days of happiness and good food like oh my god THAT was real life. my job means NOTHING

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

sleep, water, and sunlight can fix a lot of feelings btw

They grow grants there like rhubarb

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

op god of war is not official greek mythology lmao

Someone needs to read a Percy Jackson book

hey is this still post of the year or

NO

how's the hole op? want some snacks? a blanket? a shovel to dig yourself out?

I'D LIKE OUT NOW I THINK

Reblogging this as I’m going to see The Odyssey today. Maybe then I can figure out what the fuck is going on.

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.