The prompt for this was "Character A thinks they are alone and is dancing/singing along to their music as they are doing some work, never noticing that they are being observed by Character B" (from @your-lovely-bird )
Katsuki doesn't know how it happened, but one day he realises that he actually expects Hitoshi to be down in the kitchen when he gets up.
It has happened so often and so consistently lately that it would be more concerning to not meet him there, even though meeting him there is concerning in the first place.
Because while Katsuki is down there because that's his usual rhythm and he wants to get a training session in before classes start, Hitoshi is here because he can't sleep.
He can never sleep, it seems, which would explain the incredibly deep eyebags, but not at all how quick-witted he is, even in the mornings and clearly half out of his mind with exhaustion.
It kind of makes Katsuki fear what this guy could get up to should he ever get a good night's sleep, to be honest, but that hasn't happened so far.
Because Hitoshi is always there.
It doesn't seem as if he has noticed Katsuki yet, even though they meet up like this every goddamn morning, but apparently spatial awareness is not a skill Hitoshi practices, at least not at five in the morning in the communal kitchen.
Instead, he seems completely engrossed with the coffee machine, staring at it intently, even as he hums slightly under his breath, swaying from side to side, while waiting for his most important beverage to be done.
Katsuki is about to step fully into the kitchen and announce his presence when Hitoshi's voice gets progressively louder, as if he's singing along to a song and even his movement gets bolder. He takes big steps through the kitchen, never really leaving the coffee machine out of his sight even as he sings and dances along to a song that only he can hear.
It's so stupidly endearing that for a moment, Katsuki can feel his entire face go soft and then very, very hot and he thinks—
He wants this. He wants to find Hitoshi in the kitchen, he wants the smell of coffee around even though Katsuki himself never drinks it, he wants Hitoshi stupidly singing and dancing along to a song no one else probably even knows and Katsuki wants—
He wants Hitoshi.
The feeling slams into him so hard that it takes his breath away and he allows it for a moment, let's it fill him up before he wrangles it back under control, compresses it tightly and shoves it into a box that he locks away as best as he can because Hitoshi.
Hitoshi doesn't want this.
He's said as much; said that he doesn't see himself in a relationship, doesn't know what it would feel like, admitted to never even having a crush on anyone and not wanting to have one besides and so Katsuki's stupid, unwanted feelings are the last thing he should have to deal with.
So Katsuki does what he does best: he pushes his feelings aside, pretends nothing has changed at all, and finally, he steps into the kitchen.
Hitoshi seems to be at least a little aware of his surroundings, because Katsuki's movement apparently catches his attention if the startled yelp is anything to go by and like the klutz he is, he promptly stumbles over his own feet, too.
"And to think that you're actually somewhat graceful with the capture weapon," Katsuki teases as he shakes his head with a small smile.
"I'm in the air with that," Hitoshi pouts out. "It's easier to be graceful there."
"Sure, whatever you say," Katsuki says with a shrug and Hitoshi pouts some more.
Katsuki very deliberately doesn't pay attention to how it makes his heart race.
"You cannot be mean to me already, I didn't even have my coffee yet," Hitoshi complaints and as if he had forgotten that the machine was still hard at work for him he lets out a small gasp and whirls around, practically lighting up when he sees that it's finished.
Katsuki should not be absolutely fucking charmed by that and yet here he is, though he immediately wrangles his expression into his normal resting bitch face before Hitoshi turns back around to him.
He puts his coffee down on the table and then walks over to the fridge, getting out Katsuki's drink for him.
Katsuki doesn't even have to take a sip to know that it's made exactly like he likes it, because they've spent too many mornings like this but he still allows a small smile to play around his mouth when he takes the first sip, if only to see the absolute pleased look on Hitoshi's face.
They spend the rest of their drinks in silence; Katsuki because for all that he likes getting up early, he's not really a morning person by any means and having to talk before he had his food is pure torture, and Hitoshi because his brain barely functions without the sweet rush of caffeine and it hasn't hit him yet, Katsuki can tell just from the tired slant of his expression.
It should be horrifying to realise that he knows all these little things about Hitoshi but it just makes him feel warm and happy and even shoving that away as hard as he can barely does anything for him right now.
Right now, his heart is beating fast in his chest and his stomach is filled to the brim with butterflies and he fears his face is doing something incredibly telling and most of all stupid and so he does what he does best.
He buries it all under his normal, rude behaviour.
"The hell you wanna eat for breakfast?" he grumbles out and Hitoshi hums into his coffee.
"Omelette," he decides and Katsuki sneers at him, even as he gets back up.
"Fucking spoilt brat," he mutters under his breath and Hitoshi only happily hums, because yeah, he's spoilt to high hell and heaven and he damn well knows it, too.
Hitoshi keeps him company while Katsuki prepares their breakfast, having migrated from the table to the counter top where he jumped up on as if that's his rightful place and Katsuki would scold him for it, but—
It's nice.
It's so fucking nice, and Hitoshi isn't yapping at him, he's just happily humming along to that same song from before and he occasionally lets out these content little sighs and Katsuki—
Katsuki is head over heels in love with him.
~*~*~
Katsuki doesn't know why he does it.
He just knows that one moment, everything is fine and in the next he's fucking up the most important relationship in his life.
He and Hitoshi are just coming back from their grocery run and Katsuki's hands are full with bags, so it's on Hitoshi to unlock the door.
"Would it kill you to move faster?" Katsuki grumbles when Hitoshi takes entirely too long to search for his key, because these bags are heavy as fuck and his arm has been acting up all day and so Katsuki wants this over with.
"I told you to give me those bags," Hitoshi complaints, still searching for his key but also swiping the bags out of Katsuki's hand, uncaring of the way he snaps at him in response. "Don't even, I've seen you flex that hand," Hitoshi almost absent-mindedly says and then he lets out a triumphant noise, apparently having found his key.
And it's not a surprise, it's nothing Katsuki didn’t know, but when Hitoshi fishes it out of his pocket and there's a little orange x and an explosion dangling from it, Katsuki blue-screens.
"There," Hitoshi mutters as he pushes the door open and then turns back around to Katsuki, clearly expecting him to go through first and Katsuki—
Katsuki kisses him.
Right on the mouth, in the middle of the hallway.
The contact lasts for a blissful second before Katsuki's brain rejoins the situation again and he goes cold with dread.
Hitoshi is similarly frozen it seems but Katsuki doesn't give him a chance to find his voice, because he shoulders past him into his apartment, determined to act as if this never happened, but he can tell just by how loudly Hitoshi is stomping after him that he's not going to get his wish.
They are talking about it, that's for certain.
"What was that?" Hitoshi asks as soon as he enters the kitchen behind Katsuki and Katsuki very carefully puts his groceries down. He's deliberate in his every action as if he could make up for impulsively fucking everything up mere moments ago but of course Hitoshi is having none of it.
"Bakugou Katsuki, what the hell was that?" he demands to know and he basically drops his bag where they are standing and Katsuki wants to scold him for it, but they both know that he has the bag with the non-perishable items and so he can't.
"It was a kiss," Katsuki finally gets out, with more bravado than he really feels. "Don't act as if you've never gotten one of those before."
Because he has, they all know that. Hitoshi likes sleeping around, likes having a night of fun every now and then, and he still maintains his position that he doesn't know what being in love feels like.
Hitoshi knows pleasure but he doesn't know love and Katsuki—well, Katsuki is the exact opposite.
He's been in love with Hitoshi since their third year of high-school but just the thought of sleeping with anyone—Hitoshi included—makes him queasy and so he simply never did.
And now he fucked up.
"I have," Hitoshi agrees, completely unashamed and rightfully so. "But never from you. So, I ask again: what was that?"
"Do we—can you just drop it?" Katsuki asks, staring down at the counter top in front of him and he can already feel everything shatter around him.
He never meant to do that; he has such a tight grip on his feelings normally and it never has been a problem before but seeing those key-chains on Hitoshi's key after he so casually swiped the groceries from his hands, the groceries they did together for a dinner they will share because Hitoshi spends more time at Katsuki's place than anywhere else—
It just shook something lose in him and now he's going to lose his best friend.
"No," comes Hitoshi's quiet reply. "No, I'm not dropping it. I want an explanation."
"What's there to explain? You know why people kiss," Katsuki presses out and Hitoshi lets out a sigh.
"They kiss for many different reasons and I'd like to hear yours," he says, patient as a saint and Katsuki knows that he has to come out and say it now.
There's no way around it.
"I'm in love with you," he admits and he's aware that he sounds as if this is the end of the fucking world but to him, it might as well be.
"Wow, try to sound more excited about it, would you?" Hitoshi mutters, but he doesn't quite meet Katsuki's eyes anymore and Katsuki's stomach drops out.
"I would, if I knew you want to hear it, but you don't so—yeah. I'm sorry. I'd say it's not going to change anything but that would make a hypocrite out of me, considering what already happened."
Despite the glum mood Hitoshi huffs out a little laugh.
"Yeah, I'd say so," he agrees, but he still isn't looking at Katsuki. "How long?"
Okay, they are really doing this then, Katsuki thinks and he hates how his eyes burn.
"Since third year," he still gives back, because there's no use in lying about it and at least that gets him Hitoshi's full attention.
"That long?" he breathes out and Katsuki busies himself with the groceries.
"That long."
"Why did you never say something?"
"Right," Katsuki bitterly snorts out. "And destroy our friendship faster? I know you don't want that, that you don't feel that way, so what use in saying it was there?"
"Then why do it now?"
"Momentary lapse of judgement," Katsuki immediately gives back. "I didn't mean to. It was just—so fucking domestic and you have those key-chains and—for a moment I forgot that this is not something I can have."
"You don't know that," Hitoshi quietly gives back and Katsuki glares at him because how dare he?
"Don't," he hisses out. "Don't you dare—I know you don't feel that way, so don't even start."
"I don't feel that way about anyone and yet you're still special to me," Hitoshi refutes him. "You're still—special," he repeats, as if his words are failing him and Katsuki's heart stumbles in his chest. "I wouldn't mind doing that for the rest of our lives; I practically live here with you anyway and it's good. I wouldn't mind more cuddling and kissing and sex but—"
Katsuki doesn't even want to know what his face did at those words but Hitoshi falls quiet before he looks away again.
"But you don't want that."
"No," Katsuki chokes out and scrubs a hand over his face. "So lets not pretend as if this could be anything."
"Why not?" Hitoshi asks, a little defiant note to his voice and Katsuki stares incredulously at him.
"Because I love you and you can't love me but you want to have sex and I can't give you that. Doesn't sound like a great start to anything."
"But it's still something," Hitoshi insists. "You're something to me. I don't think it's romantic, I still maintain that I don't feel that way but you're—you're special to me anyway. I want to be the first one you call when you're happy or sad or when something happened in your life. I want you to be there when I come back from a mission from hell, I want you to be the one I come home to, period. Whenever a form asks me for a significant other I put down your name because nothing else is right and it's not romantic but it's still something. Can't it be enough?"
Katsuki wishes it could be, he really does, because he wants all of these things, too but—
"I don't do physical shit," he gets out, clutching onto the counter as if his life depends on it and Hitoshi lets out a sigh.
"No sex, I got it the first time. What about cuddling?" he asks, as if the no sex thing isn't a huge fucking obstacle already.
"Could be fine," Katsuki admits after a moment, because the thought of being close to Hitoshi is everything he ever wanted but it can't ever go further than that.
"Kissing?"
The thought of a peck like before seems fine, but a kiss with tongue sounds disgusting and it makes Katsuki freeze for a split second and of course Hitoshi immediately picks up on it.
"Undecided, possibly leaning bad, got it," he sums up as if it's nothing, as if it's easy and Katsuki glares at him.
"Don't pretend as if this can work. I know you like sex."
"I like physical pleasure, yes," Hitoshi almost calmly says. "That can be achieved alone as well as with others. Sometimes even better, if you pick a bad lay," he sheepishly says and scratches at the back of his head and it's so endearing Katsuki wants to die on the spot. "Definitely always when there's someone in my life who is special enough to me."
He stares expectantly at Katsuki as if he's waiting for something but Katsuki can barely scrap together enough courage to ask.
It takes until Hitoshi is honest to god nudging him with his toes that he speaks again.
"And am I? Special enough?"
"You sure fucking am, angel," Hitoshi immediately gives back and then he cocks his head in thought. "And is it enough for you knowing that I'll never romantically love you?"
Katsuki's knee-jerk reaction is to say no, because how could it ever be enough but he stops himself because—
Maybe it is.
He thinks back to their relationship over the years, remembers how Hitoshi has always been his cornerstone, how they practically share an apartment, how they share their lives and their happiness and their woes and Katsuki realises that yes, it can be enough.
All he ever really wanted from Hitoshi was for him to know that Katsuki loves him and accept it and it seems as if that is the case.
"Yes," Katsuki almost chokes out and not even a heartbeat later, Hitoshi is there, hugging him as if his life depends on it and who knows, maybe in that moment it really does.
"You've always been special to me, angel," Hitoshi mutters into his hair and Katsuki realises that the same is true for him.
Hitoshi has always been special to him, too, and that, definitely, is more than enough.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
because one day i saw @keiid ‘s suit shinsou and i couldn’t help myself. fff. and also because @romeoandromeo likes bnha a lot. and i kinda do too, i mean. but.. i really need to catch up to the latest chapters akdhfaklds.
Oh, to be a little kitten who just got vaccinated and then taken to a high-end restaurant and tasted the best food the chefs could offer and then fell asleep in a basket.
I find it absolutely Hilarious that he’s the whole reason act 2 happened. Guy managed to have a good idea in the worst time and place possible and ended up getting everyone cursed to die too
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
craziest thing about snezhnaya to me is how much childe has locked in. he's out here essentially taking over the first harbinger's position. he's out here working his ass off. he's out here doing DIPLOMACY and POLITICS?? this is what a disastrous situationship with the god of contracts does to a mf i guess
the thing is like. i get that it's scary and makes people who do desire to get pregnant uncomfortable when we talk about the brutality and violence of pregnancy and the damage that pregnancy can do to your body
but you deserve to give informed consent to that process.
the lies around pregnancy - that it's inherently safe, that it doesn't do you permanent damage, that it's only extremely rare for people to die of pregnancy complications, etc like
all of these are lies constructed so that more people will get pregnant w/o knowing all that
there needs to be more talk about the impact of miscarriages and how common they are, how different abortion processes are and how accessible they are
but also like. talking about how pregnancy fucks your body up should not be taboo
this is a process that permanently changes most people's bodies, and that's even if the pregnancy doesn't do them like. severe illness or injury
and i just think everybody should have a right to KNOW that
bc to live in a society that intentionally obscures and hides facts about a completely optional and dangerous process does so for a reason, and that reason is based in a very sinister ideology that does not value bodily autonomy or informed consent
Here is a story about the depths to which pregnant people are seen as a vessel for a baby, and the importance of finding prenatal care that assumes you are a human and not a baby holder:
When I was pregnant I was in a million forums for pregnant people because (cough adhd hyperfixation) and I had something called SPD (Symphysis pubis dysfunction) (not Sensory Processing Disorder though I also have that) which is where your pubic bones separate early (more or less) because they get all loosey goosey as your body gets ready to crank that baby out.
Except my pubic bone got confused and got misaligned at like 3 months pregnant. I could barely walk. I couldn't roll over in bed. Doing something that required me to shift my weight from one foot to another like opening a door knob was like an excruciatingly painful knife being stabbed into my pubic bone, I can't express how intense and blinding it was.
So I am in one million baby forums like "am I dying what is happening why is there a knife in my pubic bone" and all these people are like "I have that too! my doctor says it's normal and not to worry because it doesn't hurt the baby. I just deal with it by laying in bed for months in excruciating pain and think about how lucky I am to be having a little miracle growing in my body."
So lol nope. I went to my midwife and they are like, "Oh squeeze a can between your knees look up a physical therapy youtube on SPD" and I did that can-squeeze thing and it CURED THE PROBLEM in ONE DAY. I had been SUFFERING, y'all, it felt miraculous.
And I was so full of rage (flames, flames on the side of my face) that people are being told "Oh, it's NORMAL just deal with it" "It doesn't hurt the baby." Like, look, yes it's NORMAL but it's 100% treatable!!! SPD (again, not Sensory processing disorder) affects 1 in 5 pregnant people.
I was lucky to have amazing midwives (need a gender neutral term for that profession, but they see pregnant men and women)(side note highly recommend midwives if you are gender nonconfirming/a man/etc) and I have DOZENS of examples of shit like this.
(Another example is post partum friends being like "oh I am peeing my pants 900x day after giving birth" and my doctor says it's NORMAL so I just dealt with it for decades. My midwives were like "Oh that's normal and also physical therapy cures that in like 2 sessions")
When my sister was looking to get pregnant she was given the best advice. She was told that being pregnant is an experience akin to being in a moderate sized car crash, in terms of risk and lasting injury.
Some people in moderate car crashes are very lucky, and walk away with zero injury. Some are very unlucky, and die. But most people fall into the third category, where they'll be injured at the time, then heal, and then for the rest of their life they have some minor and liveable complication from the injury. Like a knee that lets you know when the rain is coming, or a back that doesn't like seats without lumbar support, or a shoulder that never quite gets its full range of motion back.
The vast majority of people survive and thrive, like. But their body is never the same again. And people should know that when they make the choice of whether to put their body through that or not
my mom had a complication postpartum that caused pain and swelling in her left leg. at the time she was told it was "milk leg" and that it was normal and she'd be fine, but it never went away or got better. she finally found a doctor recently who was willing to do some tests and found out it's a condition called "May-Thurner syndrome" and had surgery to fix it
she's been suffering with this since she gave birth to me. I'm 38 years old. she had that surgery last week.
there needs to be more dialogue about the things your body goes through during pregnancy. "that's normal" or "everyone goes through that" need to stop being used to shut down conversations about the horrific, permanent damage that can be done to bodies during pregnancy and childbirth. just because it's "normal" doesn't mean it needs to be endured
I know this is not pertinent to the post but midwife is probably not gendered in the way you think. (The post gets this right btw but I see a lot of people getting it backwards) The “wife” in midwife (with the woman in OE) refers to the person giving birth, not the Obstetrician.
Granted, it still needs to be updated because not just women give birth.
Here is an etymologically equivalent but gender neutral term I just made:
Hey also: babies are not medicine, or unconditional love playthings. Having a baby won't save your relationship, or fix the problems in your life if you haven't done the work to get yourself in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally, already. People don't ask to be born, and having to grow up with parents that transfer their problems onto their children just perpetuates the cycles of abuse and life-long issues. Given you're not likely to get clear, concise, unbiased healthcare anyway, as seen above, and it will be continually impressed upon you that it is your duty to have children, make sure you're not succumbing to social pressures, or wanting to be a parent for the wrong reasons.
Genuinely, I think a large part of why so many people are unwilling to talk about risks, complications, pain and injury around birth, pregnancy and lactation is because of how deeply ingrained the (primarily but not exclusively) religious idea that "a woman's body is designed to have children" is. Because if you actually sat down and looked, clear-eyed, at all the many ways in which even a healthy pregnancy can negatively impact the body, it would be that much harder to believe that design factors in at all, unless we're willing to argue that the designer was shit at their job. But if you're sold the idea that pregnancy is some divinely ordained and/or ultimate expression of Feminine Life Purpose, and then you have a bad experience, you're much more likely to blame yourself, or to think there's something wrong with you, or to suffer in silence because nobody ever told you this could happen so there must not be any easy solutions, and that makes me so fucking mad I could spit.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
