I Think You're Pretty Great

I used to see posts about “taking care of pets or plants is a great reason to make yourself get up every day!” and it just… didn’t help. My lemon balm plant died because I couldn’t motivate myself enough to get out of bed to water it, and I felt even worse about myself because of it. Trying to dedicate myself to caring more for my family’s poultry every day didn’t help me, because I couldn’t get out of bed and it just reminded me every day of what a failure I felt like I was.

Right now I see posts along the lines of “Daily exercise is a great way to feel better! It’s good for self image and for your body” and I just can’t do that yet. Trying to commit to a regular exercise regimen just makes me realize how tired and unmotivated I can be, and it stresses me out and makes me feel like I’m gross.

But you know what? Nowadays I keep plants just fine, especially succulents that don’t mind only being watered once or twice a month. I go out nearly every day and I put my aloe vera in a sunny spot on the porch.

I go out most every day, and I kiss my big ole turkey tom on the head, and I snuggle my turkey and chicken hens, and I collect eggs.

I feel helpful and valuable because my plants need me to move them into the sun in the morning or into the warm house after dark, and my poultry hens need me to make sure that they don’t neglect themselves and sit on eggs until they go bad, and my tom turkey needs me to monitor his health and give him attention because the rest of the family is too scared of him.

And you know what else?

I’m sure that some day I’ll exercise at least two or three times a week, and I’ll feel good because I’m taking care of my body, and my body needs me to take care of it in order to thrive.

happy beni day / pride month

Therapist: the fact that you care so deeply about being a bad person is proof that you’re actually good. Bad people don’t mind being bad.

Stitch by the end of the movie, handcuffed yet complacent in his arrest as he understands that while he still qualifies as a monster in the council’s eyes, he himself knows that he is good and the time he’s spent free and everything he’s learned about a sense of belonging, family, love and his own identity has been worth anything that can possibly happen to him now. Says very quietly but clearly proud as he introduces Lilo and Nani:  This is my family. I found it all on my own. It’s little. And broken. But still good. Yeah. Still good.

me who has seen the movie 748 times but will never truly be over it:

through songs and through petals

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here are my pieces for the zelinkzine! i made some really good friends while working on this project ;;