Older Brotherly Advice

The second search result had included the slur "ob*se" in the title of the article.

There are seriously people who tell me fat people aren't oppressed. Meanwhile, trying to find information about how to keep a fat person from drying in a car crash is met with links to products that make dirty money off of how society views my body.

Pelvic bones are strong and sturdy, and you're going to be MUCH less likely to injure internal organs and such when you suddenly slam into a nylon belt"

Text and photos by @thejacespace

And for those people who have access to mobility devices but might benefit from a second chair they can abuse without risking expensive damage…

Erik Kondo has made a website, Open Source Innovations, that details plans for DIY wheelchairs. These wheelchairs can be made from common materials like wood, plastic, and pvc. They are lightweight and can be custom fit to the user allowing from the same degree of movement you would get from a custom chair. And they are durable and easily repairable. (he has been stress testing his latest design by dropping it down stairs, dropping it out of a car, launching it across a driveway, and throwing it off a deck). Its 12lbs and I think he said its was in the $200 ish range for parts.

I will add it to my original reblog as well.

To recover, you literally need to manually learn skills that most people learn as a toddler

You need to learn what makes your body uncomfortable, and what to do to fix it

If you are high-masking, that usually means that you have learned to ignore every distress signal your body sends unless it is a distress signal that a neurotypical person would recognize. People have likely been unintentionally gaslighting you about your lived experience your entire life

If you feel bad or panicked for no reason, stop and try to pay attention to your body. Are you tense? You are likely feeling physical pain somewhere. If you've been gaslit about your pain your entire life, you might not be able to identify it.

Go through a sensory checklist.

SIGHT: Try closing and covering your eyes. If this gives you relief, the lights are probably too bright. You may also need differently-colored lights

SOUND: Cover your ears. Does this give you relief? If so, you may need earplugs or noise canceling headphones. You may also benefit from a neutral or pleasant background noise, like soft music or brown noise.

TOUCH: Are your clothes uncomfortable? Your chair? Your body? Do you feel greasy, like you need a shower? Do you need softer, sensory-friendly clothing?

TASTE: Do you need to brush your teeth or tongue? Would chewing on something help?

SMELL: Is there a strong or unpleasant smell in the room? Do you need to clean or empty a trash can? Would an air purifier help? Would a pleasant smell like a candle help?

INTEROCEPTION: Are you hungry? Thirsty? Tired? How is your posture? Are any of your muscles tight or sore? Scan your body slowly from head to feet, tensing and loosening each group of muscles. Going for a walk or doing a series of quick stretches may help a lot.

Learning how to do this stuff is not intuitive, if you've had an entire lifetime of gaslighting telling you that everything hurting you isn't a big deal and you're being dramatic over nothing.

This takes time, it takes work, it's not intuitive, and it's hard. Most people forget how hard it is, because they learned this as toddlers.

I have had physical therapy ELIMINATE the following medical and pain problems, solely or in large part:

Lower back pain so severe I could at first not even walk to the bathroom (sciatic)

Foot pain whenever I walked (plantar fasciitis)

Three years of a fucked up ankle that was at times seriously impacting me

Pain when typing (carpal tunnel), at least twice

Widespread nerve damage that caused massive chronic pain and left me housebound for two years

The physical pain/fatigue/other results caused by having to recover from that kind level of pain and inactivity (cough being housebound) for so long

I try not to talk too much about my health on here, for a variety of reasons, but I am being newly reminded of how much the vast majority of people with chronic pain should be referred to physical therapy imho

(ETA: As people pointed out in the notes, a lot of this will not apply or can backfire for chronic pain that is actually caused by autoimmune disorders and connective tissue disorders, esp since most PTs are not trained in connective tissue disorders. This is why I said physical therapy should be a frontline treatment, not the frontline treatment. Other frontline treatments for chronic pain should imo include imaging (as was pointed out in the comments, thank you for that), and a standardized panel of tests for things allergies, autoimmune indicators, vitamins/minerals, and a metabolic panel. If you have undiagnosed chronic pain, and you have not had all of those tests run, I highly recommend that you bug your doctor to do so, using those terms. I also recommend bringing backup to the appointment. Sometimes doctors want to help, but their training is outdated and/or Western medicine is so compartmentalized that they will not know to or will need nagging to run tests associated with other disciplines.

As for "why PT for chronic pain?" - if literally nothing else, because being in that much pain for that long causes a lot of inflammation and makes your body get stuck bracing and moving in ways that ALSO cause chronic pain, so that has to be addressed too.

If you don't have access to physical therapy, there are some really good resources, exercises, and videos online that can at least get you started (but be cautious if you can't get assessed in person), but I'm not qualified to vet or recommend any of those.

But if any of this sounds like it might help you, and you can go to physical therapy, please go to physical therapy, at least to try it and see.

*preventative* physical therapy should also be normal, accepted and accessible.

I did two years of PT as part of my scoliosis treatment in my early 20. Not because I had mobility issues or pain… but because scoliosis is often a vector for those things later in life.

To this day I use the exercises and methods I learned in PT to ease pain and remain flexible. This was almost 20 years ago but it definitely is something I have benefitted from over those years.

It's winter where I'm living and we have really bad snow. And the snow plow people are really bad at their jobs probably because there aren't snow plow people who clean sidewalks. As a solution I got to thinking about how I could increase the traction on my wheels. And the most redneck thing I could think of was taking a bunch of zip ties and tying them around my wheels. They last surprisingly long, and work surprisingly well. It's basically the same premise as chains for your tires during the winter.

It's possible for people to be right about some things and wrong about others. It's possible for people to be kind in some situations and cruel in others.

It's possible to be oppressed and an oppressor. It's possible to be abused and an abuser.

It's possible for people to have equally valid needs that fundamentally conflict. It's possible for people to have worldviews that cannot be reconciled.

It's possible to have good intentions and do harm. It's possible to have bad intentions and do good.

People are complicated, the world is complicated, and simplifying everything down to a black and white worldview where some people are Bad (and therefore incapable of being right or kind or good) and some people are Good (and therefore incapable of being wrong or cruel or bad) is only going to cause harm.

look up recipes (especially snack recipes) that are child/toddler/baby-friendly

Being told or shown that your emotions are not valid, that you have no safe place to express them

Parents or caregivers oversharing graphic trauma from their past with you

Threats of physical violence, even if not carried out

Being told or shown that affection or approval is contingent on competency or academic success

Prejudice from inside OR outside the family (homophobia, racism, body shame)

Mocking or dismissal of things that are meaningful to you

Also, his books are not that expensive, well-written, and truly helped me process a lot of my trauma. I did a ton of it alone because I couldn't find a therapist for years, and those books (complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving & the tao of fully feeling) really changed the trajectory of my life.

He talks about grieving, about changing our internal dialogue to one that's positive instead of negative, talks about SEVERAL trauma typologies, and more.

As someone who has been diagnosed with the big trauma PTSD but most of their problems were coming from the little stuff that was CONSTANT and made me run on 2000% all day every day, this guy is a lifesaver. I'm so different from how I was before, especially with the help of some in-person therapy. Finding the right person makes all the difference, truly.

You can pick up his books on the website, but if you're looking for resources on this and you have the space and support to be able to do some of your own work (please don't do it completely alone unless you must) check out the sidebar over at pete-walker.com. He made this incredible resource that not everyone knows about and I try to share it where this comes up.

I love her, she's great. Her recipes are friendly for both physical and/or intellectual disabilities. And her 5-year-old helps her cook. 🥰

Link to her YouTube channel:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

11. “Speed run strats!”

12. “Y’all don’t know my strats/tactics”

13. “I’m built different” (the more emphasis you put on ‘different’, the better)

14. “Okay, this time is the time” upon retrying / “First try!” upon successful completion (Both get funnier with each failure you experience)

15. “I’m so silly” / “I’m just a silly billy” / “I’ve been a silly goose” (Really good replacement for “I’m so stupid/dumb”)